


Forget Me Not

by melodyheart



Category: Outlander & Related Fandoms, Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Family, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Lallybroch, Love Story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-04
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-02-26 22:55:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 112,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21666886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melodyheart/pseuds/melodyheart
Summary: Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp was orphaned at the age of five, and when her uncle Lamb died, the Frasers became her official foster family. Growing up as an outsider in the Highlands was never easy, and her teens proved to be equally challenging, especially when she fell in love with her foster brother, James Fraser's best friend, Frank Randall.When Claire returned as a beautiful full-grown woman to Lallybroch after years of pursuing her studies and travelling the world, she hoped this time around Frank Randall would finally notice her. But this time around, James Fraser was not going to stand back and watch as he did in his teens. This time around, James Fraser intends to win her heart even at the cost of his friendship with Frank.
Relationships: Brian Fraser/Ellen MacKenzie Fraser, Claire Beauchamp/Frank Randall, Claire Beauchamp/Jamie Fraser
Comments: 878
Kudos: 1000





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! I would like to present to you my second fan-fic, Forget Me Not. 
> 
> I have just recently finished, Highland Destiny, so if you haven't read it, just click on my pseudo name and it will take you to my work. And for those who've read it, thank you for being part of my writing journey and I sincerely hope you will enjoy this version of James Fraser and Claire Beauchamp.
> 
> Without further ado, I wish you all happy reading.

Brian and Ellen Fraser had been long-time friends with Quentin Lambert Beauchamp, an accomplished archaeologist and historian. They met in the mid-80s in Hurghada, Egypt, while the Frasers were on honeymoon and Quentin on a break from a field survey in Mt Sinai. It all had started in a quaint traditional Egyptian coffee shop in the old town of El Dahar when Quentin offered the couple seats at his table as the locale had been bursting at the seams. What was supposed to be only a brief encounter, had turned into a very close friendship after Brian and Quentin discovered that they shared the same passion for history, Egyptology and scuba diving.

Over the next few years, the friends religiously kept in touch. As Quentin never married, the Frasers embraced him as part of the family and was often invited to their home in Lallybroch whenever he took a break from fieldworks or was in the UK. When Quentin's brother and sister-in-law, Henry and Julia died in a horrific car accident, Brian and Ellen immediately went to Oxford to be with their friend and to offer their support in any way they could. It was there the Frasers learned that the tragic couple left behind a five-year-old daughter, Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp, leaving Quentin as the child's sole living relative.

Ellen instantly fell in love with young Claire and was captivated with the child's unusual, amber eyes which were almost too big for her cherubic face, framed with short chocolate brown curls. Devastated already for Quentin's lose, her heart broke furthermore when the child pointed at her parents' coffins. "Mummy an' Daddy are in there," she had said, as she tugged at Ellen's coat. 

The Frasers knew there was no way that Quentin could single-handedly raise Claire and still do the job he passionately loved. After the funeral, Brian and Ellen sat Quentin down and offered to take care of the child while he was away at work, or until Claire was old enough to attend a boarding school. Ellen thought it was the most sensible plan for a young child to grow up in a loving family and she couldn't bear the thought of Claire, young as she was, not having a mother figure so early in her life. The Frasers already having three children of their own, supposed another one in their big household in Lallybroch shouldn't be an issue.

At first, Quentin was speechless as he could never take advantage of such generosity, let alone their friendship. It never even crossed his mind to leave his niece in the care of anyone. But the Frasers weren't just anyone. To him, they were family, but still, he knew he couldn't impose. He was already of the mindset of changing his job, maybe taking a post offered to him a few months back before the tragedy struck. Quentin had always taken comfort in knowing he would always have a place at Oxford University - it was his fallback plan. Selfish as it was even to contemplate the Frasers'offer, he knew working as a professor wouldn't be as thrilling as visiting ancient sites and being hands-on with surveying and excavating. On the other hand, he knew he was clueless when it comes to raising a child, and he couldn't deny Claire a normal childhood the Frasers were offering.

And so it was decided after a lot of discussions and deliberations that Claire would stay with the Frasers while Quentin was away at work. And in summer, Claire would go with his uncle to visit sites he was working on or go on holidays with him to faraway exotic places. The Fraser children, William, Jenny and Jamie, embraced Claire as part of the family and loved her as any brother or sister could love a sibling. There was enough money in the trust fund left behind for Claire that would ensure a secure future, but the Frasers never concerned having an extra mouth to feed as they ran a successful family-owned hotel business. It wasn't until Quentin died in a crossfire in a war in Congo, the Frasers became Claire's official foster family at the tender age of ten.

..........

**2007**

17-year-old James Fraser had debated all day whether he ought to go to the school dance or not. Having no interest in dancing whatsoever, it should have been a straightforward choice. Not even the bonniest of girls from school who asked him out made the decision any easier. After a lot of weighing, Jamie decided to go in the end, convincing himself it would be something to do on a Friday night and all his mates would be in attendance. And so that night, he went alone, arriving two hours late to the dance.

Inconspicuously, he had entered the dance hall and leaned against the wall, watching his 15-year-old foster sister, Claire from the shadows. She stood with four other girls eagerly anticipating to be asked for a dance, as she tucked a non-existent stray curl behind an ear and straightened her eyeglasses for the hundredth time. His best friend, Frank Randall, had promised Claire to take her to the school dance in return for writing his essay on Egypt for a school project. But like a cad that he was, Frank bailed out the last minute and decided not to hold his side of the bargain. Despite the humiliation, Claire held her head up high and insisted on attending on her own, with hopes Frank would at least ask her once for a dance. 

Looking at the time, Jamie knew it was nearly coming to an end. There were only two dances left, and soon it would be over. He could see Claire was starting to fret by the way she fidgeted nervously with her hands. _Damn ye, Frank, damn ye to hell!_ But why should he even care when he had warned her so many times about his friend that behind the charming facade was a very selfish, insensitive person. She was an intelligent enough lass, and Claire had her outstanding grades to prove that, but when it came to Frank, her better judgement seemed to dissipate.

As the last dance for the evening was announced, he noticed the other four girls that stood next to her were already on the dance floor with their respective partners, leaving Claire on her own. Jamie knew any minute now she will grab her coat and run out upset. He had hoped it wouldn't come to this and that some lad would come and ask her to dance. But nobody came. _Oh to hell with it!_ Before he could change his mind, Jamie quickly walked over to her.

"Sassenach, ye fancy a dance with me?"

"Oh, it's you! Hi Jamie!" Claire smiled feebly. He knew she had been silently praying for a miracle that Frank would appear.

"No' the greeting I was hoping for," Jamie teased softly, offering his hand for a dance.

Claire took his hand, and this time, she smiled warmly. "You're always coming to my rescue, and you know fine, I'll be alright."

"Aye, ah ken." He guided her to the dancefloor and twirled her awkwardly before taking her into his arms. Jamie was glad it was a slow dance as he would have felt dumb swaying to fast music on his own. Claire giggled as they nearly bumped into another couple, her forehead colliding against his chin.

"You know what Jamie, other girls are dying to dance with you. And besides, what are you doing here? You don't like to dance at all."

Jamie looked down at her, and he could see himself in her eyeglasses. And when she smiled, the disco light above them reflected on her braces. He tried not to chuckle. "No, I dinna care really for dancing that's why I came late. After the dance, I'll be going out with the lads."

"Oh! Is one of the lads, Frank?" Claire asked earnestly, her face flushing.

Jamie had always known about Claire's infatuation with his friend. It had all began in school when Frank picked up the books she dropped. As he handed them back, he had winked at her. For young Claire, she thought that was the most romantic gesture, and ever since then, Frank became an obsession. 

"Aye, Frank is one of the lads," Jamie admitted, his jaw tightening. "Will ye be alright later, Sassenach? I can take ye home after the dance if ye wish." He tried to ascertain what she was thinking, but her glasses were obscuring her eyes and noted they needed polishing.

Claire's chin wobbled a bit as she smiled, and Jamie knew she was trying her best not to cry. "I'll be alright, Jamie. You go and have fun with your friends. Willie will be picking me up anytime soon."

Friend or not, Jamie wanted to throttle Frank for using Claire, enticing her with a promise of taking her to the dance and then backing out last minute. "I tell ye what Sassenach, how 'bout I take ye fishing tomorrow? Just the two us. Will that cheer ye up?"

"Jamie, you don't need to do that! Honestly! I'm fine! You're always so sweet to me, and I know you'd rather be hanging out with Laoghaire," Claire pressed gently, giving him a reassuring smile.

"Laoghaire? What makes ye think that?" Jamie was surprised at Claire's response. Laoghaire MacKenzie was a popular girl in school who liked to make an impression on everyone that she was his girl after he took her out once at an icecream bar. It had only been one time as he found her crying one afternoon after breaking up with a boyfriend. Feeling sorry for the lass, he thought icecream would cheer her up.

"Well, I've seen you talk to her, and you look at her as if she's the most gorgeous girl in the world. Sometimes I wonder how it would be like to be chased by the boys. I feel invisible at times, and it doesn't matter what I wear, do or say, I'll always be a Sassenach. It's not fair...Frank is English like me and yet he's so well-liked at school." 

Jamie's arms froze around her. "Claire...I'm so sorry...does it offend ye that I..." 

"No, not you, Jamie. You don't say Sassenach in a mean way like the others. Like what I said earlier, you're always so sweet. I couldn't have asked for a better brother." Claire stood on tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. "Right... dance is over... you go and have fun with your friends. Willie is probably waiting outside already. And I promise I feel loads better already because of you."

Funny that Jamie didn't realise the music had stopped when he usually would have counted the seconds until the dance was over. But before Claire could turn around and go, he grabbed her arm. "I'm taking ye fishin' tomorrow and make sure ye pack some crisps and sandwiches...alright?"

This time, Claire's smile reached her eyes, her braces twinkling under the disco light. "Okie-Dokie! I'm looking forward to it. And now go! Have fun with the lads and see you in the morning."

Jamie watched her walk away as Frank, and the rest of his mates approached him. "Little sister sorted then?" Frank asked mockingly as he put a hand on his shoulder.

 _She's not my sister!_ Jamie wanted to punch his friend on the face for hurting Claire's feelings, but instead, he mentally counted to three and breathed deeply. "Aye, my brother has come to pick her up."

What can he say? They didn't know her as he did and what she had been through. In the eyes of those who knew Jamie in school, he was just like Frank; a popular guy, great in sports and hanged out with the right people and went out with pretty girls. And as for Claire, she was just a Sassenach; unconventional, highly intelligent, nerd and the ugly orphaned child taken in by the Frasers. Jamie thought of what Claire had said of him looking at Laoghaire like she was the most gorgeous girl in the world. What she didn't realise was, it was Claire he was looking at. She had taken off her glasses that day and was cleaning it with a piece of cloth, and her poor eyesight must have made her believed that Laoghaire was the subject of his admiration. Oh, how his friends would jibe and taunt if they knew, him, James Fraser, one of the popular guys in school was madly in love with his foster sister, Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp, braces, eyeglasses, wild hair and all.


	2. Homeward Bound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously in Prolouge
> 
> She's not my sister! Jamie wanted to punch his friend on the face for hurting Claire's feelings, but instead, he mentally counted to three and breathed deeply. "Aye, my brother has come to pick her up."
> 
> What can he say? They didn't know her as he did and what she had been through. In the eyes of those who knew Jamie in school, he was just like Frank; a popular guy, great in sports and hanged out with the right people and went out with pretty girls. And as for Claire, she was just a Sassenach; unconventional, highly intelligent, nerd and the ugly orphaned child taken in by the Frasers. Jamie thought of what Claire had said of him looking at Laoghaire like she was the most gorgeous girl in the world. What she didn't realise was, it was Claire he was looking at. She had taken off her glasses that day and was cleaning it with a piece of cloth, and her poor eyesight must have made her believed that Laoghaire was the subject of his admiration. Oh, how his friends would jibe and taunt if they knew, him, James Fraser, one of the popular guys in school was madly in love with his foster sister, Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp, braces, eyeglasses, wild hair and all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the overwhelming feedback and kudos for my first chapter in Forget Me Not. I've read all your messages, and they truly are heartwarming. I wish you all happy reading on Homeward Bound.

_“For the two of us, home isn't a place. It is a person. And we are finally home.”_

**2015**

He cocked his head to listen if anyone was in the corridor. Satisfied nobody was about, he cautiously snuck into Claire's old bedroom and shut the door firmly behind him. After carefully placing a vase of forget-me-not flowers on the desk, Jamie noticed not much had changed in her room since she left Lallybroch. On one wall was a massive poster of the world map, on the wooden beam above, hung an assortment of dreamcatchers, and on her bed was a collection of stuff toys he had given her over the years. After a brief glance at the bookshelves filled with classic literature and travel books, his eyes wandered to her dressing table. Slotted in the frames of the mirror were a collection of photos, and they were mostly of him, William and Jenny. He smiled as he peeked at each snapshot, conjuring memories from their childhood. He wished he had a more recent photo of her, but that was one thing Claire never granted him as she was never keen to have her picture taken. Although she was active on social media, most of her posts were images of places she had visited, wildlife, food and the odd time her feet, to show off her new trekking shoes.

Over the years, he thought of her often even in times when he was in relationships. How could he stop thinking of her when Claire would faithfully send postcards, cards during special occasions and made-up occasions, and also ridiculous souvenirs that served no purpose except to clutter his apartment. But he kept every damn thing she had ever sent him. In return, he would send her favourite hardback books with forget-me-not flowers pressed into the pages and occasionally a bottle of single malt whisky so she wouldn't miss home too much. 

Every Christmas and a couple of weeks in summer, Claire would come to visit Lallybroch, but Jamie was never there to see her, for the most part, because those times were his busiest at work in France. And whenever he came home, either she was studying in Switzerland, or she was on some adventure with her backpack in some faraway places. Once, only once they had an opportunity to meet in London airport for their connecting flights when she was bound for Scotland, and he was returning to France. Even that chance meeting went awry when Jamie's flight was delayed departing Edinburgh. But today she was coming home, and it would be the first time they will see each other in six years. This time she was staying for good and so was he. 

..........

"God ah hate regional trains! Are we nearly there yet?" Geillis muttered as she slumped on her seat and stretched her legs in front of her. They have been travelling on the train from London for four hours already. "Remind me again why we took the train instead of flying."

Claire closed her book and sighed at her friend. "If we had booked a flight, we would have had to wait for two more days, and I can't wait that long. All the cheap flights were fully booked, and I wasn't prepared to pay a few extra hundred pounds to fly from city to city. I know how you're feeling, Geillis... I can hardly wait to get there myself. I'm even finding it hard to concentrate on reading, thinking of seeing my family again. God, I've missed them." Looking at her watch, she smiled. "Not long to go now... an hour and a half... more or less." 

In actual fact, she had been thinking of Frank for the most part of the journey, and the thought of him made her stomach do somersaults. Claire had seen him the summer before when she came to visit Lallybroch, and she couldn't forget the appreciative look he had given her way when they met at the local pub. He seemed surprised as if he was seeing her for the very first time. And if her instinct is anything to go by, Claire believed Frank loved what he saw.

"What's with the secret smile, Claire? Is it Frank?" Geillis cheeks dimpled as her lips curled into a puckish smile.

Claire grinned. "You know me too well. Yes, alright yes I've been thinking about him, but I'm also thrilled to be seeing my family again, especially Jamie...I haven't seen him for years. God, I've missed him." She paused as she summoned memories from the past before continuing. "Just between the two of us, Jamie is my favourite out of the three siblings. I love them all, but Jamie is the best. Maybe because we're closest in age and we get along so well. As for Jenny, she used to fuss over me a lot, and when I got older, it became annoying. Well, Willie is great too, but he was always so grown up. He rarely played with me when I was little, but in my teens, he spent more time with me when ma and da were busy in the hotel. On weekends he used to take Jamie and me to movies and such, while Jenny was more interested in staying at home and pottering about. "

Thinking back to her childhood memories, the Fraser family was the greatest gift her uncle Lamb had ever given her. Although Claire felt like an outsider in her school and was often taunted for being English, the love her foster family had for her outweighed the heartaches. Her happiest memories were within Lallybroch and days spent with the Frasers. Even though she lost her parents at such a young age and then later, her uncle Lamb, in her heart and in her mind, despite what her schoolmates made her feel, she was never an orphan.

"Here, hand me yer IPad. Ah want tae see pictures of your folk again, sae ah ken who is who."

Claire shifted seats next to Geillis, and opening her IPad, she tapped into the gallery icon. After a few swipes on the screen, she found what she was looking for. "This one here is the last photo of all of us together under one roof. This was taken before Jamie went to a culinary college in France. I was sixteen here. Willie here was on holiday from his training as a chef in Italy. And Jenny, she's the only one who stayed at home. She never had any interest in the hotel, restaurant or further studies. Though she did go to University in Edinburgh to study Business Management. Da said she was born to be a housewife because she loved running the household and cooking." 

"So you're the youngest? You look sae different in this photo...maybe it's the glasses ye were wearing and your hair was shorter."

"Yes, I'm the youngest. Jamie is now 25, Jenny 28 and Willie is 30. I was the baby then and was spoiled rotten when I first came to Lallybroch. Yea, I got rid of the specs after ma convinced me to wear contact lenses because I kept losing them or breaking them. As for my hair, I realised the curls aren't as wild if I kept my hair longer. I hated my hair back then and wished I had Jenny's straight hair. " Claire swiped past more pictures to a more recent one. "This one is from last year, just the Fraser kids."

"Holy mammy of God, are these Jamie an' Willie? They're sae tall an' Jenny is sae wee. Mmm such good looking lads if ah may say sae."

Claire laughed. "I don't know why Jenny is so small. Everyone else in the family is tall, even ma. Jenny and Willie take more after da with their dark hair and blue eyes. As you can see here, Jamie looks more like ma... he's ginger just like you, but he does have his father's eyes."

"Mmm...Jamie looks scrumptious, and he's more buff than Willie. Is he single? You wouldna mind if ah tried tae angle for a date? Unless of course, ye want him for yersel'"

"Don't be daft! He's my brother...and if he falls for you and ends up marrying you, it's like we're going to be sisters. Now wouldn't that be fab? And yes, he's definitely single. He broke up with his French girlfriend a few months back. He never really liked to discuss his relationships with me, and all I know is that he reckons Frenchie wasn't the right girl for him."

Claire loved Jamie with all her heart, and she had time and again reminded him that he will always be her best friend. He had consistently made her feel special, especially on the night when Frank cancelled their dance date when she was fifteen. He had planned to go with his friends after the dance, but instead, he went with her and Willie, stopping by a gas station to buy a tub of her favourite vanilla ice cream. When they arrived home, they both tucked into their treat sitting on the outside balcony, wrapped in a blanket and looking at the stars. Claire always loved looking at the stars, and she thought it was the most beautiful thing. Then she remembered him saying to her softly as he fed her a spoon of ice cream, "Next time you think of beautiful things, don't forget to count yourself in." 

"So does Jamie have a type?" Geillis asked as she enlarged a photo of Jamie on Claire's IPad.

"Funny you ask that. He always told me he prefers brunettes, but his past two girlfriends were blondes. Blokes are funny that way, aren't they? They say one thing and do another, and yet Jamie always told me women are the most complicated creatures. Tsk, men!"

Geillis closed the IPad and handed it back to Claire. "Weel 'tis braw tae be back in Scotland an' I'm sae glad ah will be workin' wi' ye and yer family. How is yer da tae work for?" Geillis asked, straightening up from her seat to rummage for some snacks in her satchel.

"Oh, da is great, you will love him. I spent summer as a kid doing odd jobs at the hotel...helping in the kitchen, in housekeeping and such. I enjoyed it so much that I proceeded to study Hotel Management instead of nursing."

Claire and Geillis met while fulfilling their apprenticeship in a five-star hotel in Munich, Germany. Once their training came to an end, Geillis had planned to apply for a job in New York hoping Claire would follow suit. But Claire declined as she had promised Brian, her foster father, she would come back to work for Fraser Manor Inn once her studies and training were over. As Geillis was intrigued by the Frasers' hotel and wanted to be closer to her friend, instead of going to New York, she applied for the Front Office position with the help and recommendation from Claire, which Brian Fraser accepted.

Jamie and Willie have returned home to Lallybroch a few months back to help with the preparations for the Grand Opening after the hotel went through a major restoration. It was a pact they all made that they would one day return home to work for the family business. Claire had, at first, wanted to travel to Mexico after her apprenticeship had ended. But since the Grand Opening of the hotel is imminent, she decided to come home earlier than planned.

Fraser Manor Inn, having only thirty rooms, is not by any standard grand but more traditional of the Highlands. The _pièce de résistance_ of the hotel was the restaurant, and the food was very sought after for its exceptionally high standard in taste, presentation and creativity, promoting Scottish fresh and local produce. The head chef Murtagh Fraser, god-father to all Fraser children had earned the restaurant a Michelin three stars; hence, his cantankerous manner was put up by Brian and Ellen. Working alongside Murtagh in the kitchen would be the Fraser boys; William as the Sous-Chef and Jamie as Chef de Pâtissier.

"Weel, I'll give it a go for a year, and I hope yer da will give me a fantastic certificate tae add tae my resume. When does the hotel re-open?"

"Hopefully before Christmas. So you'll have plenty of time to familiarise yourself with the locals and local delights. Da says you can stay in Lallybroch until you find your own place. Otherwise, he has a couple of apartments for rent...normally he rents them out to staff. It's supposed to be for one of us in case we tire of living in Lallybroch."

"Oh good, plenty of time to get to know the local boys before we start work. Or let's say, plenty of time to get to know yer brothers, " Geillis said, her eyes twinkling mischievously.

..........

Jamie and Willie were standing on the platform, waiting for the train to come to a halt and for Jamie, it seemed to take eternally before the screeching and clunking on the beaten old track ceased. The air felt nippy, and although it was only mid-afternoon, it was quickly turning dark. It was a perfect homecoming for Claire, Jamie thought, as autumn was her favourite season. He smiled to himself as he thought of Jenny and his mother preparing Claire's favourite meal of Beef Wellington, thick gravy, roast potatoes and vegetables. Willie had offered to cook, suggesting a more elegant dish, but the Fraser women had shooed him away. Earlier in the day, while nobody was in, Jamie snuck in the kitchen and made Claire's favourite dessert of Raspberry Mille Feuille and Sherry Trifle much to Jenny's annoyance. He had to make it as it was the only request Claire had of him when he asked what she wanted when she came home.

The whoosh of the sliding doors of the train carriages brought Jamie back to the present. As his older brother started to move forward, he followed, looking up and down the platform for a ginger-haired lassie and a curly-haired brunette. There were plenty of people disembarking eager to get off, and others, keen to get on board and out of the cold. The brothers strained their necks watching out for the girls, and it was Willie who saw them first.

"Claire! Over here!" Willie shouted as he started to jog forward.

"Oh my God, Willie...I'm finally home! So good to see you!" Claire squealed as she flung herself to his older brother's arms, while the ginger-haired lass stood back and observed the scene with amusement.

Jamie waited patiently, not wanting to disturb their moment as he leaned on a pillar watching the scene before him. He watched her squeal some more and giggle as Claire introduced Willie to her friend Geillis, babbling and swinging her rucksack onto her back as she went along. _Ah Dhia, she's more beautiful than ever._ Gone was the awkward and shy teenage girl he remembered but instead there stood a bubbly gorgeous young woman full of self-confidence and most importantly, happy to be home.

"Where's Jamie? I thought ma said he was coming with you." Claire asked, looking slightly disappointed.

"Right here, Sassenach," he replied, stepping away from the shadows and opening his arms for an imminent embrace.

She spun around to the direction of his voice, her eyes widening in surprise before her face broke into a most stunning smile he'd ever seen. Gone were her braces and in place were perfectly even teeth. "Jamie!!!" Claire wasted no time and ran up to him.

Jamie lifted her and hugged her tightly as they both laughed and spoke at the same time, of how they missed each other. Jamie didn't let go, and Claire wrapped her legs around his waist to keep her balance, as she rained loud kisses on his cheek. "Fancy a piggyback for ol' times sake?" Jamie suggested, grinning.

Claire nodded her head animatedly, her smile never leaving her face.

Without much effort, Jamie grabbed her hips and shifted her to his back without her feet touching the ground. Once she was safely behind him, her arms around his neck and legs around his middle, Jamie grabbed Claire's duffel back and turned around to his brother. "I'll race ye to the car!" Jamie shouted as he ran off.

Willie laughed at their carry on as he watched Jamie zig-zagged on the platform, Claire's laughter echoing in the air while Geillis face was one of astonishment. "Don't mind them, they've always been like that..." Willie confessed, shaking his head as he chuckled to himself.

"Brother my arse...he's got the hots for her," Geillis muttered to herself, as she watched Jamie and Claire disappeared into the crowd.

"Pardon me...you were saying?" Willie turned to pick up the rest of the bags as he smiled at Geillis.

"Nothing."

"I don't want to race Jamie to the car, but you can tell me how your trip was from London..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again thank you for all your messages and kudos. It's always a delight to read all your feedback.
> 
> ***Sneak Preview on Chapter 3 Frankly Speaking***
> 
> She was brought back from her reverie when her phone beeped and buzzed.
> 
> "No phones on the dining table...ye ken the rules, Claire," Brian reminded his foster daughter, throwing a stern look her way.
> 
> Geillis' prying eyes, having a mind of their own, wandered onto Claire's phone screen which was placed on her friend's lap. She saw the name, bold and clear as the screen was swiped to read the message. "Oooh, it's from Frank!" she announced inadvertently in a soft voice, but loud enough for everyone to hear.
> 
> "Frank? Frank Randall?" Willie glanced at Claire with an arched eyebrow. 
> 
> Claire felt the heat creep up her face, as she never told anyone, apart from Geillis, that she had been in contact with Frank ever since that one summer when they met for the first time since leaving school. She had been secretly in love with him for as long as she can remember and had arranged to meet up once she was back home.
> 
> Jamie leaned closer even though he was sat next to her. "Sassenach, why does Frank have yer number?"


	3. Frankly Speaking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on Homeward Bound...
> 
> "Fancy a piggyback for ol' times sake?" Jamie suggested, grinning.
> 
> Claire nodded her head animatedly, her smile never leaving her face.
> 
> Without much effort, Jamie grabbed her hips and shifted her to his back without her feet touching the ground. Once she was safely behind him, her arms around his neck and legs around his middle, Jamie grabbed Claire's duffel back and turned around to his brother. "I'll race ye to the car!" Jamie shouted as he ran off.
> 
> Willie laughed at their carry on as he watched Jamie zig-zagged on the platform, Claire's laughter echoing in the air while Geillis face was one of astonishment. "Don't mind them, they've always been like that..." Willie confessed, shaking his head as he chuckled to himself.
> 
> "Brother my arse...he's got the hots for her," Geillis muttered to herself, as she watched Jamie and Claire disappeared into the crowd.
> 
> "Pardon me...you were saying?" Willie turned to pick up the rest of the bags as he smiled at Geillis.
> 
> "Nothing."
> 
> "I don't want to race Jamie to the car, but you can tell me how your trip was from London..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wishing you all happy reading!

Lallybroch always made Claire's heart lighter, and no matter where her travels took her, it was still home she looked most forward to. Her inheritance from uncle Lamb enabled her to travel, which he inspired in her when she was a child. Forever grateful to Brian and Ellen for taking her into their family, she offered part of her inheritance from her parents and uncle, to put towards the restoration of the hotel. Despite Brian's initial unwillingness to accept Claire's gift, which was deemed totally unnecessary, she had insisted on end until they had to finally succumb. She had been too stubborn to let go of the matter, and told them, she'll never wholly be part of the family unless they accepted her contribution. Now home at last and soon working for the family business, she couldn't be any happier.

"That was bloody gorgeous," Claire gushed, grinning at Jamie, as she cleaned her plate, eating every morsel of the Raspberry Mille Feuille with relish, including the garnish meant for decorative purposes. It was a favourite treat that Jamie had made, especially for her homecoming.

"Watch yer language, young lady!" scolded Ellen gently, her disapproving look quickly turning into amusement as she watched her foster daughter finished the dessert with enthusiasm.

Claire's penchant for swearing was acquired from time spent with her uncle Lamb at archaeological sites during summer holidays before he died. No amount of admonishment nor threats of her mouth being washed with lye soap by Ellen put an end to the habit.

"Sorry ma...everything was just so delicious," Claire apologised in a muffled voice, mouth still full with pastry and raspberry. "Absolutely fabulous homecoming - I'm so terribly spoiled. I should go away more often. And Jenny, the Beef Wellington was divine. I don't understand why you don't want to work in a restaurant. You're a fabulous cook, and you can give Jamie and Willie a run for their money with your talent," Claire said, her eyes twinkling as she winked at her foster brothers.

Jenny smirked feeling pleased, as she had always taken pride in feeding and taking care of her siblings. She hoped one day when she and her fiance Ian Murray are finally wed, she would have many children to take care of. "Did ye hear that, laddies?" Jenny eyed her brothers. "Good thing I didn't join the family business and become yer head chef. Not that Murtagh isna doin' a fabulous job, but home-cooked classical dishes are still the best, instead of those fancy cooking ye lads learn at yer swanky school."

Everyone on the large family table laughed, and Claire sat back and watched in contentment as the quibbles, banter and sallies carried on. Even Geillis had joined in with the raillery, and she was glad her friend mingled easily with her family with no awkwardness. That's not surprising though, as hospitality and conviviality were what the Frasers were known for whenever guests graced Lallybroch.

Ever since stepping into the threshold of the Frasers home earlier, Claire was engulfed with familiarity and belonging, but somehow, she couldn't shake the feeling that somehow something had changed. It didn't take long to figure out what was different - she knew it was Jamie. He was no longer the gangly and ungainly lad that left Lallybroch for France six years ago. Although they had kept in touch regularly, it was the first time they had seen each other in years.

When Claire first laid eyes on Jamie at the platform of the train station earlier, her breath had hitched. She was caught unaware of how much he had physically changed. He was broader, taller, and his body gym-honed, as a result of his daily workouts. Claire had always known Jamie liked to keep fit but seeing the result of his discipline was another thing. She was flummoxed by the newfound awareness of him as a man and how devastatingly handsome he looked. Although he had held her in his arms before in his brotherly way when they were younger, somehow being held by him at the train station was different. The feel of him was conflicting with her childhood memories, and it made her confused as unfamiliar sensations arose in her. Now, more than ever, she was conscious of everything that was Jamie, and every time he looked directly into her eyes, strange flutterings sprouted from her belly causing her to feel warm and tingly all over. 

At one point during dinner, she had unconsciously glanced at his lips as he sipped his wine, noting the few days' bristles of his beard, and she allowed her mind to wonder how many girls he had kissed. When her gaze eventually went to his eyes, she was mortified that he caught her staring. Looking away in embarrassment, Claire mentally scolded herself for thinking such things, and she thought, how appalled Jamie would be if he knew what was going through her mind. She tried to dismiss the strange sensations triggered by his presence as silly musings of those of teenage girls'. But it was futile as he was constantly nearby and just like when they were younger, he was tactile and demonstrative with his affections. _Brotherly love, that's all it is and nothing more_ , Claire thought.

She was brought back from her reverie when her phone beeped and buzzed.

"No phones on the dining table...ye ken the rules, Claire," Brian reminded his foster daughter, throwing a stern look her way.

Geillis' prying eyes, having a mind of their own, wandered onto Claire's phone screen which was placed on her friend's lap. She saw the name, bold and clear as the screen was swiped to read the message. "Oooh, it's from Frank!" she announced inadvertently in a soft voice, but loud enough for everyone to hear.

"Frank? Frank Randall?" Willie glanced at Claire with an arched eyebrow. 

Claire felt the heat creep up her face, as she never told anyone, apart from Geillis, that she had been in contact with Frank ever since that one summer when they met for the first time since leaving school. She had been secretly in love with him for as long as she can remember and had arranged to meet up once she was back home.

Jamie leaned closer even though he was sat next to her. "Sassenach, why does Frank have yer number?"

"Are ye seeing a lad?" Brian piped in, now curious and attentive to the conversation, as Claire was the only one in the family who haven't brought home a special someone.

"Och Claire, ye're blushing, dear...so ye have a boyfriend?" Ellen joined in, beaming. "Ye should invite him for dinner so we can all get to know him."

"Ma! He was a prick back in school!" Willie blurted, giving Claire a disapproving look.

"Language lad!"

"So, is he yer secret boyfriend?"

"Sassenach?"

"Is it a date and if so, why is he no' picking ye up?"

"Ye have a boyfriend?"

Jenny didn't utter a word, but her head snapped back and forth, watching the interrogation like she was watching a tennis match. And Geillis' only answer to Claire's frown was "Ooops."

"I don't have a boyfriend, alright!" Claire snapped, sounding a tad bit terse than she intended to. "He's an English guy who went to the same school as Jamie and me, and we're just texting. I'll be meeting with him in the pub later."

Everyone was silent for a few seconds until Jamie spoke up. "Sassenach, I'll drive ye to the pub...it's getting late, and it's dark."

"No, Jamie, I can go to the pub myself. I'm a big girl now, and I don't need a chaperone. Besides, Geillis is coming with me," she replied impatiently, trying to hide her mounting irritation of being put into a spot like a schoolgirl caught doing something she shouldn't.

"I am?" Geillis sounded happy at the prospect of going to the pub. She had always loved going out.

Claire nodded to Geillis, giving her a warning scowl to zip it.

"Claire! Jamie is just offering to drive ye to the pub. We all know you can take care of yourself..." Willie joined in, asserting his position as the older brother.

"I was going to the pub meself, so I thought I'd drive ye..." Jamie added, the furrows on his forehead deepening.

"How convenient!" she muttered, regretting her reply immediately. Jamie had always been nothing but sweet to her and Claire wondered why she was feeling guilty that he knew she was off to see Frank.

"What's that supposed to mean? And why are ye upset?" Jamie asked.

"I'm not upset!" she retorted, giving him a pointed glare. In actual fact, she felt unsettled, and she doesn't know why she should feel that way. Her family was just curious.

"Yes, ye are! How long have ye been texting Frank?" Jamie remarked, his face devoid of any expression.

Usually, able to read Jamie's mind, Claire wondered what he was thinking. It made him harder to read when his gaze is so intense that she daren't hold them for long.

"Da?!?" Claire looked at Brian imploringly, looking for support. She daren't glance at Ellen as she knew there would be questions in her eyes. And the last thing she needed was having to explain to her family who and what Frank was. _It was no one's business!_

Brian let out a sigh as he dug out his car keys from his trouser pocket and tossed it at Claire. "Here, lass, take my car. Right, lads...back off now. The lass is right. She doesn't need any of ye hovering about especially if she's seeing a boy...that's her affair. She'll tell us when she's ready."

Catching the keys, Claire quickly slipped out of her chair and went to Brian to give him a thankful hug and a kiss. "Thanks, da." And before anyone could say anymore, she quickly left the dining room, signalling Geillis to follow suit.

"Mind, if ye have too much to drink, call one of the lads or a taxi. Don't want ye drinking and driving..." Brian shouted after Claire.

"Aye da, will keep that in mind," she shouted back, mimicking his accent, as Claire ran up the stairs with Geillis in tow.

..........

Jamie felt like he was punched in the gut when he found out Claire was meeting Frank at the pub after dinner. What he thought of his adolescent infatuation towards his foster sister as long dead and buried, had resurrected in full force as something more astronomical and immense. It was no longer an innocent teenage crush with dreams of holding hands, gentle kisses on the cheek and sharing a tub of ice cream, but something more deep-seated that was awakening inside him. Perhaps, it had been there all along, and distance and absence had prevented him from dwelling on his yearnings. When he had held Claire in his arms at the train station, he felt a pleasant stirring, and he so wanted to bury his face in her neck and feel the thrumming of her pulse against his lips. Claire had pressed her forehead against his as she told him how much she missed him, and if Willie and Claire's friend hadn't been there, he might have been tempted to kiss her.

But then there's Frank. _Damn him to hell and back._ He should have gone back to where he came from after he finished school, but instead, his family had stayed, and Frank went to study law in Edinburgh. Claire would undoubtedly like that about him, her being an intelligent girl and all. If memory served him right, she had told him a long time ago, she preferred the tall, dark and handsome type, and now, Frank was an academic, to boot. To make matters worse, he was no longer the reprobate that he used to be. He was actually a nice guy, and after his pupillage, he was on his way to becoming a barrister and most probably a successful one too.

For as long as Jamie could remember, he and Claire had no secrets. Even when he was in France, and she, in Switzerland, there were nights when they would talk on the phone for hours on end. She never broached the subject about boyfriends or relationships in her life, and when he did ask, he had waited with bated breaths for her answer. Her response was always, "I haven't found anyone special yet." If he was perfectly honest with himself, he dreaded the day when Claire would announce she was seeing someone. So, it must have been Frank all along all these years. How could he compete with someone that Claire was wholeheartedly devoted to? But on the other hand, unlike Frank, Jamie knew her like the back of his hand; he understood her fears and weaknesses, he could tell when something was bothering her, and the world wasn't right, he accepted and appreciated her flaws as perfections and endearing, he remembered all her favourites and dislikes. And most of all, he wasn't going to stand back and let some English sod steal his Sassenach right under his nose.

Jamie looked at the grandfather clock as he heard a car parked on the gravelled driveway. It was past midnight already. As he hadn't been able to sleep, he decided to watch a movie in the family TV room, which was once their playroom when they were kids. He got up and poured himself a treble measure of whisky before settling once again on the sofa. He could hear Claire and Geillis giggling as they made their way up the stairs. Half an hour later, the door opened.

"Jamie?" Claire walked in, wearing one of his old shirt and thick, red woolly socks. "I hope you don't mind...I went to your room and took one of your shirts. I've never been a jammies person."

He smiled and patted the sofa next to him before getting up. "Fancy a whisky?"

Claire nodded as she padded over to the sofa and slipped under the quilt Jamie had been using to keep warm. It was a cold night, and he hadn't bothered putting the fire on. "What are you watching?"

"Just flipping channels...nothing exciting," he replied, handing Claire a tumbler with a double measure of Lagavulin, before settling next to her under the quilt. Jamie knew she liked her whisky peaty. 

"Jamie, sorry about earlier. I acted like a brat. I have no idea what came over me..." Claire started as she turned to face him, tucking her feet beneath her.

"It's alright, Sassenach." Jamie raised his glass. "Here, _slàinte mhath_ and welcome back home," he said softly. "So, how was yer night out?"

"It was alright...it was great to see a few familiar faces. I talked to Frank, but he had to leave early because of some emergency at home. We're meeting tomorrow morning again for coffee." Claire shrugged as she swigged her whisky with an audible gulp.

"That's nice. So ye still fancy the lad?" He was swirling his glass and looking into the oaky liquid.

"If you mean if I'm in love with him... I don't know...well, I don't think so. I thought I was, until tonight. I've grown up loving the notion of being in love, and when you're finally faced with the object of your fantasy, reality doesn't really do it justice, does it? But I do like him, and he's changed a lot. And he seems to like me, so we'll see how it goes. I guess I've changed... people change, you know...just like Frank."

Jamie let out a deep breath he'd been holding in for long. He didn't want to look at her lest he revealed the jealousy he felt towards Frank. "I've changed too ye ken, but at the same time, I'm still me."

"Jamie as I said people change and those changes are more noticeable, especially you haven't seen them for ages. But what I don't want to change is what we have between us...I think what we have is pretty special."

This time Jamie shifted from his position and turned to face her. "Aye, Sassenach, what we have between us is quite extraordinary. What I want ye to know is, what I feel towards ye and what I know I have with ye, will never change. I promise ye that. Best ye don't forget."

Claire smiled for the first time since walking into the room. She put down her tumbler on the coffee table and arms wide open, she beckoned, "Friends again?"

Jamie rolled his eyes as he reached out and gathered her to his side, laying her head on his chest before kissing the top of her head. "Sassenach, ye clown. Of course, we're always that. Now shall we watch a movie?"

Claire snuggled closer, pulling the quilt around them and wrapped her arms across Jamie's middle. "Alrighty, you choose as long as it's not a war film," she replied, settling in a more comfortable position.

Twenty minutes later, the door opened. It was Jenny. "Hul-loh, ye two. I thought I might find ye here."

Claire raised her head from Jamie's chest, drowsily. "Oh hello, Jenny, want to join us? Enough space on the sofa."

"Och no, I'm going to bed. I just wanted to ask ye both if you'd like to go out for dinner tomorrow night? Ian had Italian in mind. I've asked Willie and Geillis already, and they said they're coming. So what say ye two?"

"Sassenach, fancy Italian tomorrow and maybe bowling after?" Jamie asked, smiling as her head bobbed, realising she must have fallen asleep.

Claire nodded. "That would be lovely... sounds fun."

"That's fab, it's a date then. Good night ye two!" Jenny winked before closing the door.

By then, Jamie sensed Claire had nodded off to sleep as she let out a faint snore. He pulled her closer to his side, relishing in her warmth and the feel of her body so close. Jamie tried to concentrate on the film and dispel thoughts of what Claire's nearness was doing to him. He wished she didn't look so damned provocative, wearing only his shirt. Part of her appeal was that she was so unaware of her own allure and charms. As Claire shifted, muttering incoherently, Jamie knew he was on a very short tether, strained and taut, that was likely to snap any moment. He needed badly to refill his glass with a good measure of whisky but didn't want to disturb Claire's slumber. He was just at the point when he was getting uncomfortably strained when the door opened again. It was Willie this time.

"Oh, it's ye both, I thought someone left the lights on," Willie whispered as he noticed Claire sleeping on Jamie's arms.

"Listen, Willie, can ye do me a favour and carry Claire to bed. I have an awful cramp on my leg and can't stand. I dinna want to disturb her."

"Aye, nae bother."

Willie lifted Claire effortlessly in his arms before saying good night to his younger brother.

The moment Jamie heard the door closed upstairs, he quickly got up and poured himself another treble measure of whisky or maybe more, and downed it in one go. _Christ Sassenach, ye'll be the death of me!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the kudos, the love and feedback. Loved reading them all and it's something I always look forward to. ❤️
> 
> PS If I'm slightly delayed with posting updates, please excuse my tardiness as I am preparing for the Christmas festivities. Thank God for dictaphones, I can record the storylines verbally. 😀
> 
> ***Sneak Preview***
> 
> Twice she stuck her head out of the door, wondering how long more she needed to wait until Jamie was done in the bathroom. Claire knew it was him in the shower, as everyone else in the house were early risers, and she heard the rest of the family congregating in the kitchen earlier. Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ, why the hell is Jamie taking so long? I'm going to be late! 
> 
> Unable to wait anymore, she burst in, a hand over her eyes, with just enough gap between two fingers to see his naked silhouette turn abruptly in her direction. To her relief, Jamie was still in the shower. "Don't mind me...I'm not looking. Carry on what you're doing!" Claire announced as free fingers groped for the sink. Safe in the knowledge Jamie was still behind the shower screen, she put the hand down from her face and concentrated as best as she could at the task at hand, opening cabinets to retrieve toiletries she needed.
> 
> "What the fuck!? Christ Sassenach, couldn't ye wait for yer turn? I'm still in the shower!" he barked, his guttural tone making Claire wince.


	4. Something About Jamie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously in Frankly Speaking...
> 
> By then, Jamie sensed Claire had nodded off to sleep as she let out a faint snore. He pulled her closer to his side, relishing in her warmth and the feel of her body so close. Jamie tried to concentrate on the film and dispel thoughts of what Claire's nearness was doing to him. He wished she didn't look so damned provocative, wearing only his shirt. Part of her appeal was that she was so unaware of her own allure and charms. As Claire shifted, muttering incoherently, Jamie knew he was on a very short tether, strained and taut, that was likely to snap any moment. He needed badly to refill his glass with a good measure of whisky but didn't want to disturb Claire's slumber. He was just at the point when he was getting uncomfortably strained when the door opened again. It was Willie this time.  
> "Oh, it's ye both, I thought someone left the lights on," Willie whispered as he noticed Claire sleeping on Jamie's arms.  
> "Listen, Willie, can ye do me a favour and carry Claire to bed. I have an awful cramp on my leg and can't stand. I dinna want to disturb her."  
> "Aye, nae bother."  
> Willie lifted Claire effortlessly in his arms before saying good night to his younger brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your messages and kudos as well as the feedbacks that are still coming in from Highland Destiny. They truly warm my heart! Wishing you all happy reading!

Jamie hadn't slept a wink. He had tossed and turned in his bed, unable to relax and unwind, his body and brain in perpetual, heightened alertness. Not even the previous sleepless nights anticipating Claire's arrival, and downing more whisky than he should before he went to bed, helped him sleep. An image of his foster sister snuggled against him, her arms draped upon his waist and her warm breath on his chest, rose unbidden in his thoughts. Although the gestures were innocent, his fancy was more of a sensual and sultry kind. He tried to push the images out his head thinking if he didn't curb his imagination, he would either need to go for a long jog in ungodly hours of the night or to immerse himself in a cold bath. The fact that Claire slept in the bedroom next to his didn't help ease the predicament he was in. When the sun finally streamed through his windows, he heard her alarm clock go off and the sound of her movement in the next room. Jamie knew in a short while, Claire would be off to meet Frank for coffee. He needed to do something about Frank, but what? But first things first - a very cold shower was of paramount urgency.

..........

Claire had woken to the sound of her phone alarm, tinkling wind chimes that became louder until you hit the snooze or stop button. Remembering her coffee date with Frank, she smiled as she stretched like a lazy cat on her old bed and reached out to turn off the chiming sounds. It was a good thing she had the mind to set the alarm before seeing Jamie last night, as the last thing she remembered, she was nestled against the crook of his arms falling asleep to the steady rise and fall of his sturdy and muscular chest. That thought made her smile too as it had felt so right, so good and so much more. Realising the bawdy picture starting to form in her mind, she shook her head forcefully, trying to erase the "so much more" part.

 _"Think Frank!"_ she muttered mentally. It was Frank's name she had engraved on one of the trees near Lallybroch, and it was his name she had scribbled in most of her notebooks ever since she had reached puberty and fallen in love with him. Although her heart didn't kick into a gallop as it used to when she met up with Frank at the pub, she couldn't help but feel a slight satisfaction in suspecting he was into her. Handsome as ever, he was the epitome of her ideal man; tall dark and handsome. 

But why did her thoughts keep wandering to images of Jamie; tall, coppery and devastatingly masculine. It wasn't right and appropriate to think of him in that light when all he had ever been to her since she came to Lallybroch as a young child, was a caring, protective older brother. There was much at stake, and she wasn't about to jeopardise that special bond and closeness they had, by acting on her attraction towards Jamie. Ultimately, there was Frank, and after all these years of being in love with him, she finally had his attention, and they were meeting for coffee in a short while. 

Twice she stuck her head out of the door, wondering how long more she needed to wait until Jamie was done in the bathroom. Claire knew it was him in the shower, as everyone else in the house were early risers, and she heard the rest of the family congregating in the kitchen earlier. _For the love of God, why the hell is Jamie taking so long? I'm going to be late!_

Unable to wait anymore, she burst in, a hand over her eyes, with just enough gap between two fingers to see his naked silhouette turn abruptly in her direction. To her relief, Jamie was still in the shower. "Don't mind me...I'm not looking. Carry on what you're doing!" Claire announced as free fingers groped for the sink. Safe in the knowledge Jamie was still behind the shower screen, she put the hand down from her face and concentrated as best as she could at the task at hand, opening cabinets to retrieve toiletries she needed.

"What the fuck!? Christ Sassenach, couldn't ye wait for yer turn? I'm still in the shower!" he barked, his guttural tone making Claire wince.

"Sorry Jamie, I had to; otherwise I'll be late. You're taking so damn long. I just need to brush my teeth and quickly shave my legs..." she explained sounding breathless. The shower was to her right, and from her peripheral vision, Claire could tell Jamie had turned his back to her, cursing under his breath. Unable to help herself, she took a quick peek, and the sight of his arse made her mouth go dry. Quickly averting her gaze to what she was doing, she clumsily squirted far too much toothpaste than necessary. _Sweet mama of Christ, I'd give that 100 out of 10._

"Why do ye need to shave yer legs when ye're just going out for coffee with Frank?" he asked, trying to sound stern as he quickly rinsed off the suds. _Shave her legs?!? Wasn't that what girls do before sex?_

"For your information, I regularly shave my legs. I felt I had stubbles..." Claire hurriedly explained as if she was able to read Jamie's thoughts. "If I was running any later, I would have joined you in the shower and done my business in there. I guess I'll have to do it in the sink..." Claire's voice trailed off as she started to vigorously brush her teeth. _Why the hell did she say that for?_

Glancing at her, still wearing his T-shirt from last night, Jamie groaned as he thought of Claire sharing a shower with him. He was half tempted to walk over to her and yank off the oversize garment she was wearing and see what was underneath. "Sassenach! Get the fuck out. I've nae clothes on!"

"Well, it would hardly be called having a shower if you did have clothes on. Besides, I see heaps of naked men all the time. Surely your anatomical make up isn't much different to the rest of the male population." _Oh boy, am I so wrong. That arse is one of the finest I've seen!_ Thank God for Geillis and her love for ogling at naked men on the internet. She was her constant source for naughty staple venture whether Claire welcomed it or not. "And what's the fuss? I've seen you naked before..." Claire made circular motions with an index finger in his direction without looking at him, as she continued to brush her teeth.

"What do ye mean ye've seen me naked before?" _What did she mean she'd seen heaps of naked men before._

"We used to bathe together... can't you remember?"

"For fuck sake, Sassenach, we were bairns!"

"Well, not much should have changed except...well... maybe just in size... bigger..." she gulped, almost swallowing the froth spuming in her mouth. "...and hairier."

"Sassenach!"

"What?"

"GET OUT!"

Quickly rinsing her mouth with mouthwash, Claire didn't bother with shaving her legs and ran out of the bathroom. Once in the safety of her bedroom, she quickly dressed in jeans and sweatshirt eager to leave the house before Jamie made an appearance downstairs.

..........

 _Christ!_ Why did he have to shout at her? She was merely sharing the bathroom with him like old times. Except, when he wasn't naked in the shower and had a semi-arousal on, he reminded himself. She had walked in, face still puffy from sleep and her hair wild, loose and long. If he hadn't been feeling horny, he might have found the whole picture adorable and cute, except, he thought she looked so damn sexy, and his mind strayed to images of the types of undergarment she could be wearing under his shirt. Or maybe none at all. _Ah Dhia!_ Although the glass screen was splattered with rivulets of water from the shower, he had noticed Claire taking sideways glances in his direction and mused if she liked what she saw. She did admit to having seen many naked men before, so why was her face so beet red. He didn't like the idea, one bit, of her looking at other naked men's arses and wondered if she had any intention of looking at Frank's. Swallowing a surge of shame and guilt, he rubbed himself dry with a towel until his skin chafed and to his dismay, he noticed the cold shower had not helped at all. He had a lot of pent up energy to unleash. Maybe checking up on the hotel restoration would be a great idea, and the construction workers would probably be only too happy to have an extra pair of hands assisting.

..........

Frank was already in the cafe when Claire finally arrived, out of breath. She couldn't decide whether her state of breathlessness had anything to do with seeing Jamie naked earlier in the bathroom or running from the car park to the cafe. Either way, she was grateful for the cleansing crisp air she inhaled, and she hoped there was no telltale sign of the heat that permeated her face since leaving the house.

Frank was sipping his cappuccino when she walked into the coffee shop, and the moment he saw her, he immediately stood and strode towards her before enfolding her in an embrace. 

"Good morning, lovely, you look absolutely beautiful," he whispered in her ears before pulling away to guide her at their table. "How was your first night back in Lallybroch? I hope you slept well."

Looking around, Claire saw a few familiar faces from school, who nodded and smiled at her in greeting. She was amazed by the attention one garnered when no longer labelled as an outsider and shunned for her quirks and awkwardness. Feeling all of a sudden conscious, she hurriedly sat down on the chair offered by Frank.

"Thank you...I slept like a log. I must have been exhausted from the journey and the excitement of seeing my family..." Her thoughts wandered to last night, her ensconced in Jamie's arms and how wonderful it felt to fall asleep against his warmth.

"That's a somewhat secretive smile," Frank said, arching a brow in curiosity. "What's on your mind?"

"Oh..uhm...my mind just drifted off to yesterday and how happy ma was, to have us all under one roof," she lied, trying to refocus her attention back to Frank, mildly annoyed with herself for fibbing.

"I'm so sorry to leave all of a sudden yesterday. We had a bit of a family emergency last night. Dad's car broke down, and I had to take him to the airport."

"That's alright, Frank. Like what I said, I was tired and..."

"Claire..." he interrupted and leaned closer to her. "Let me cut to the chase. I really want to see you again. Having coffee with you wasn't my idea of a first date, but I would love to take you out...somewhere nicer and maybe more private."

"That would be lovely. I like that."

Frank thought he saw a fleeting doubt reflected in her eyes. He wanted to reach out and take her hand but refrained from doing so, thinking it was too soon. "Claire, I know I've been a total arse when we were in school. I truly regret that. I was young and stupid..."

Claire smiled in spite of memories of let-downs and disappointments came flooding back. "Yes, you were an arse. What changed your mind now? Is it because I look different without my braces and glasses? Not once did you acknowledge me back then although we've sat across each other so many times at the dining table in Lallybroch when you came for dinner with Jamie," she said softly. It wasn't meant to be a cutting remark but an honest query.

Grimacing, Frank cleared his throat, looking down into his coffee cup as though the answer resided there. "Ouch, I deserve to be reminded of that. I must have been really horrible."

Claire knew she wasn't helping matters by putting him on the spot and thought, she was rather ungracious with all his efforts to expunge his bad-boy image. Feeling remorseful, she smiled softly at him. "Look let's forget about it, alright? I'm sorry I even mentioned it. Past is past...let bygone be bygone."

He sighed, looking relieved. "Alright...let's start again. How about dinner tonight?"

"Sorry, Frank, not tonight." Vaguely remembering Jenny's Italian dinner arrangement, Claire explained why she couldn't go.

"Mmm, sounds like a threesome date," Frank teased, and Claire couldn't help but notice the mild jest belied the seriousness of his remark.

"Oh, don't be ridiculous, Frank. I'm with my brothers and sister," she asserted, not wholly convinced the surety of her statement.

"They're not really your siblings, you know, and you're not related by blood. And if I recall, I may be right in assuming that Jamie has been carrying the torch for you for as long as I can remember."

She stopped and stared at him. "That's absurd, Frank. Jamie has been brotherly to me all his life." Frank's blunt unbosoming of his thoughts about Jamie was unexpected and had taken her by surprise.

"Is it really that absurd?" This time Frank held her gaze, searching for clues for any inkling Claire might have. "He's my best friend in case you've forgotten. I've seen the way he looked at you plenty of times when we were in school. Even though he never mentioned anything to me, his actions spoke louder than words."

"Yes, utterly absurd and you seem to forget the fact, I grew up with him. Surely if that's the case, I would have known." 

"If you say so." Frank relaxed and smiled, leaning back against his chair. "Sorry, Claire, I just wanted to know how many competition I am up against."

"I can assure you there's no competition," Claire said firmly, convinced she was right with her supposition.

"Great... dinner then, next weekend? Let's make it Saturday night. Maybe we could drive somewhere further away or somewhere you've never been to before."

"That's absolutely grand... I'm looking forward to it!" Claire put on the brightest smile she could muster and wondered why she wasn't inwardly celebrating for bagging a date with her dream man no matter how much she pushed the thoughts of Jamie away.

Two coffees, a bottle of mineral water and a piece of tomato and basil bruschetta later, Frank walked Claire to the car. Before she could hop in, he gently touched her elbow. "Claire, before you go...I have something to ask."

"Mmm?" she asked.

"May I kiss you?" Frank was posed ready to swoop down for a kiss, his gaze on her lips, waiting for her verbal consent.

Claire swallowed, panic eddying in the pit of her stomach. _Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ, I'm going to embarrass myself._ Instead of answering, she stood on tiptoes and kissed Frank on the cheek before quickly hopping into the car. Before turning on the ignition, she poked her head out of the window. "Let's leave the kiss part until Saturday after the date, shall we?" she said, trying to sound cool-headed.

"As you wish..." Frank smiled before tapping the bonnet of her car. "I shall see you Saturday then. Meanwhile, drive safely and enjoy your night out with your siblings."

..........

Claire arrived at Lallybroch and was grateful there were no cars parked in the driveway. _Nobody home...great!_ Just what she wanted. She knew Geillis would be in as Willie planned to pick her up and show her around the hamlet. Claire had 45 minutes alone time with her to discuss her problem.

"Geillis! Where are you?" Claire called out as soon as she let herself into the house.

"Up here!" Her friend shouted back.

Claire ran up the stairs taking two steps at a time, nearly stumbling when she reached the top. As soon as she opened the door to the guest room, she blurted. "Geillis...I need your help!"

"What's the matter? Are ye alright?" Her forehead pleating neatly above her brows.

"Yes, yes I'm great but promise me you will not laugh...," Claire laughed nervously, wringing her hands and leaning back towards the hallway to make sure no one was about.

"Christ Claire...spit it out!" she said bemusedly, a look of mild concern in her eyes.

"Frank asked me to kiss him...but I have a problem." Claire squeezed her eyes tight and swallowed hard before continuing. "I've never kissed a man before. You were always talking about French kissing in the past. Now, I want to know everything about it before Willie comes to pick you up. So tick-tock...start talking!"

Geillis' face cracked into a huge grin, her dimples on the cheek deepening and her cornflower blue eyes lightening up. "Oh my God, Claire! Ye've never been kissed? I had a hunch ye might still be a virgin, but tae reach the age of twenty-three, and tae n'er have been kissed...good Lord, ye've certainly missed out a lot in life."

It was the last thing Claire needed to hear, but she had to show restraint where her temper was concerned as Geillis was the only person she could confide to when it came to French kissing. "I know...I know...so are you going to show me how or will you be making a list of all the things I've missed in life," she retorted exasperatedly, closing the door behind her.

Still smiling, Geillis sat on the floor and crossed her legs. "Come here, Claire and sit down," she instructed, patting the rug opposite her.

Claire sat in front of Geillis, feeling on edge as she crossed her legs and waited apprehensively for what's to come next.

"Right...this is about trust, ok? Do ye trust me?" Geillis asked, reaching for both Claire's hands as her face took a turn for a more serious look.

Claire nodded eagerly before she could change her mind.

"Ok, before we start I want to ask ye first, would ye like to practice with my mouth? Or, if you're no' comfortable kissing me, ye can kiss the hole of yer hand when ye form it in the fist. Problem is, your hand won't kiss ye back," Geillis explained, and Claire could tell, her friend was trying to suppress a giggle.

Straightening her back, Claire shook her shoulders and spun her head in rotation, attempting to calm her nerves and relax. "Alright, we will practice with each other's mouth as long as you're alright with it. I guess I'm alright with it too," she said firmly trying not to sound petrified.

Geillis smiled mischievously before giving her a wink. "I'm cool with it, and I love kissing women...they're more soft and pliable."

"Geillis!" Claire's eyes nearly popped out in shock. If Geillis was trying to shock her, it was definitely working.

"Ok, ok here goes...first ye need tae know yer target, ok?" Geillis started, this time, her voice firm and resolute. "You wouldna want tae stick yer tongue into Frank's nostril or his eyeballs."

"Geillis!" 

"Ok...gee! Loosen up will ye! So...ye lean forward slowly...very slowly like this..." Geillis angled towards her, her voice barely a whisper. "Ye wouldn't want tae bump foreheads and noses. It could be quite a painful experience, ye ken."

"Right...slowly," Claire replied, clearing her throat.

"Now lean forward to me, gradually and wet your lips. Before you slip your tongue into your Frank's mouth, you should slowly, gently part your lips, so he knows what to expect. No one likes a tongue ambush."

"Uh-huh." Claire closed her eyes and leaned towards her friend. She could feel Geillis' warm strawberry breath fanning her face. 

"Ye should start by putting just a teensy bit of yer tongue beyond Frank's lips," Geillis murmured, her eyes half-closed watching Claire's lips part.

So intent they were with each other, neither of them heard a car parked outside nor the heavy footsteps climbing purposely up the stairs nor Jamie's voice calling out. He knocked twice before opening the door to Geillis' room. The girls didn't hear. 

Jamie walked in and staggered to a stop, his eyes bulging out, his mouth opening and closing before settling for an open-mouth look. He saw both girls, sat cross-legged, knees touching as they leaned towards one another. It took around 10 seconds before Geillis realised he was stood there, while Claire's face was still in animated suspension, eyes closed and lips parted.

"Och, look at the time, Willie must be downstairs," Geillis suddenly announced, making Claire jump out of her skin.

When it finally registered to Claire that Jamie was stood there looking at them, one hand flew to her mouth, her amber eyes bright and wide and her face a shade of dark crimson. _Oh shite!_

"Don't look like that Jamie...I was just teaching Claire how to French kiss. Did ye know that she's never been kissed before? She wanted lessons before she kisses Frank. I was just in the middle of explaining when ye barged in..." Geillis grabbed her handbag before walking up to Jamie, one hand going under his chin to close his gaping mouth. "See ye later guys, I'm off to see the local delights." She smiled and winked naughtily at them before heading out of the room.

 _Oh for the love of sweet Jesus, what now!_ Claire's heart began to hammer painfully against her ribs as she tried to avoid Jamie's eyes. Nobody said a word initially, as she kept her gaze fixed on the rug. When Jamie finally moved towards her, he stopped and held out a hand. "Sassenach?" She looked up, and taking a deep breath, she placed her hand in his. She fought to breathe as his hand firmly closed around hers and pulled her up from the floor.

"So ye've never been kissed?" he asked huskily, his eyes overwhelmingly vivid and dark, as he took a step forward. They were merely inches apart.

Claire could only nod in answer, as she stared wide-eyed into his blue. She blinked a couple of times as she smelled sawdust, sweat and masculine smell emanating from him.

"Why did ye no' tell me?" His eyes were caressing her face before finally resting on her lips.

Claire shrugged. Her heart started to dance the rumba...or was it merengue?

"So, Geillis was explaining to ye how to French kiss...is that right, aye?"

Claire nodded as she glanced at his lips.

"Weel, I'll do you one better, I'll show you," Jamie whispered, his voice sounding ragged, as his face came closer until only a hairsbreadth separated them.

Claire's eyes widened as the moisture in her mouth evaporated. Her brain was shouting no, but every other part of her being was frolicking giddily. She felt one callused thumb pressed against her chin, gently parting her lips.

"I'll be damned if I allowed Frank to be yer first kiss," Jamie muttered, before grazing his tongue between her lips.

_Jesus H.Roosevelt Christ!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you've enjoyed this chapter. I know it's a bit naughty but I had a wicked time writing it for you. Once again thank you all for your feedback.
> 
> PS If I'm slightly delayed with posting updates, please excuse my tardiness as I am preparing for the Christmas festivities. 😀


	5. Cours de Français

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on Something About Jamie
> 
> "So ye've never been kissed?" he asked huskily, his eyes overwhelmingly vivid and dark, as he took a step forward. They were merely inches apart.
> 
> Claire could only nod in answer, as she stared wide-eyed into his blue. She blinked a couple of times as she smelled sawdust, sweat and masculine smell emanating from him.
> 
> "Why did ye no' tell me?" His eyes were caressing her face before finally resting on her lips.
> 
> Claire shrugged. Her heart started to dance the rumba...or was it merengue?
> 
> "So, Geillis was explaining to ye how to French kiss...is that right, aye?"
> 
> Claire nodded as she glanced at his lips.
> 
> "Weel, I'll do you one better, I'll show you," Jamie whispered, his voice sounding ragged, as his face came closer until only a hairsbreadth separated them.
> 
> Claire's eyes widened as the moisture in her mouth evaporated. Her brain was shouting no, but every other part of her being was frolicking giddily. She felt one callused thumb pressed against her chin, gently parting her lips.
> 
> "I'll be damned if I allowed Frank to be yer first kiss," Jamie muttered, before grazing his tongue between her lips.
> 
> Jesus H.Roosevelt Christ!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your feedback and all the love. I know I'm delayed with posting but hey, at least it didn't take a week. I hope you'll enjoy this next chapter and I wish you all happy reading!

_Why is Jamie staring at my mouth like that?_

He reminded Claire of a ravenous lion looking at his first meal in days, and herself as the sacrificial lamb waiting to be gobbled. She wondered if he could hear the snap and crackle in her chest and the pop of her exploding ovaries. Watching Jamie's head lowered closer to her face, his gaze still centred on her lips, Claire's heart gave a little kick. A maelstrom of mixed emotions battled its way to the surface, the echo of their childhood seemingly incongruous to what was transpiring. Summoning the memory of the sweet boy she once knew was in vain, and instead, reality had put in its place a man she barely recognised; rugged, masculine, and oh so seductive.

"I'll be damned if I allowed Frank to be yer first kiss," Jamie muttered, before grazing his tongue between her lips, forever, irrevocably blurring the lines of their relationship. 

_Jesus H.Roosevelt Christ!_ She refused to close her eyes, watching in fascination as he closed his. It was a mistake when her world spun upside down, and her equilibrium went off-kilter, making Jamie's face blur into two, before fusing back together. _Oh Lord_! She was quite sure his heavy breathing had left condensation in her contact lenses or perhaps it had slid to the back of her eyeballs, causing the hazy focus.

He paused for a heartbeat, waiting for her to pull away. And when she didn't, with one large hand at her waist and the other cradling the back of her head, he drew her to him, his tongue gently urging her mouth to part before brushing his across hers in an achingly slow, feather-like sweep. Jamie tasted her the way he ate when he took a bite of the first French dessert he ever made, _Coeur à la Crème_ ; a leisurely, savouring mouthful followed by a rapturous groan.

 _Hot! Hot! Hot!_ His work-roughened fingers were creating tiny sparks of fireworks on her skin as images began to form in her head. Visions of daffodils blooming in fast forward motion, choir boys at the village church singing _Hallelujah_ as the organ struck a high note and fire hydrants erupting aerated water in the air, were floating in her mind. This was better than the chick flicks she used to watch, where "boy kisses girl" scenes had made her sigh dreamily.

 _Oh, dear God, what the hell is happening!_ First, Frank wanted to kiss her after their coffee date earlier, and now Jamie was enlightening her in the art of French kissing. 

_Shut up, Beauchamp! You've always wanted this- two former popular blokes from your school want you... so what are you complaining about?_

_That was back in school. And Jamie is my brother!_

_Where does that say he's your brother?_

_There's an unwritten rule..._

_Yeah, unwritten rule my arse! It's one that you made up. Just enjoy the kiss!_

Claire wanted to act sophisticated, cool and dispassionate, unlike the bumbling, awkward geek she was often referred to when she was in school. Closing her eyes for the first time, she tried to relax in Jamie's arms, but it was proving to be a difficult feat when he was making all sorts of sounds at the back of his throat. She opened her mouth more, shyly kissing him back and to her surprise, Jamie's chest heaved, and his body trembled. _He must have liked that!_ Feeling emboldened, Claire mimicked his movements, gliding her tongue over his, as her hands clutched at his shoulders and fingers dug into his muscles. Her audacity made Jame pull her harder against him, whooshing the breath out of her lungs. Her heart was pounding like mad as blood rushed through her ears, her legs turning into the consistency of Jamie's Sherry trifle when not fully set.

With Claire's response, Jamie's kiss became more demanding, as he slid his fingers through her hair, angling her head so he could run his tongue along her jawline. "Ye want me to stop, Sassenach?" he gritted his voice sounding like as though he'd been a month without a drink.

 _No don't stop!_ Claire could only shake her head. Jamie walked her backward until her back met the wall, shifting her awareness to his taut, solid muscles and arousal. She nearly giggled as his hard, giant appendage pressed against her belly, reminding her of Jenny's wooden rolling pin. _Oh, sweet Lord! Stop thinking and keep up! Stop contemplating about his size, or all the practising it took to hone that perfect kiss or what the sounds behind his throat meant._

She was kissing back and shamelessly enjoying it, but how had she gotten here and why is Jamie kissing her? She hadn't expected to be kissed today, but here we are - first Frank making a move and now Jamie. Was it written on her forehead, _"wants to be kissed"_? So many questions but they were all being swallowed up by riots of sensations that was alien to her. Not that she was totally naive - definitely not! Not after being introduced to Carter, Geillis' vibrator and soft porn, once again thanks to Geillis' collection from her internet browser's bookmarks. 

Claire understood quite well the mechanics of kissing and what it can lead up to, but objectivity had no place in the present when her blood felt like bubbling sugar syrup. Maybe it had something to do with how Jamie looked at her, his eyes a peculiar hue of dark and intensity, and his jaws clenched and taut as a bowstring. How many girls had he looked at the way he was looking at her? Suddenly, she felt a pang of jealousy hit her with full blow in the abdomen and hated the thought of him looking at someone else like that, now that she had been on the receiving end. _For crying out loud, Beauchamp, get a grip!_

"Claire are you up there?" _Bloody fucking hell, speaking of rolling pins, it's Jenny! When did she come home?_

Their movements stilled, their lips parted as the spell cast between them broke. 

"Coming!" Claire called out without taking her eyes off Jamie. She was surprised to discover Jamie's breath was laboured and harsh as hers; moreover, she was able to find her voice after the intensity of their kiss. _Well, today was undoubtedly full of surprises. Whatever next?_

"It's Frank! He says you dropped your phone in the parking lot!" Jenny shouted from the bottom of the stairs.

 _Oh, bummer... just what I needed!_ "Thanks, Jenny, will be there in a sec," she replied, hoping she sounded steadier than she felt. Her nerve endings still tingled, and there was a throbbing pulsing between her thighs. Claire needed to put a name to what she was feeling, but it can wait...Frank was downstairs.

Not trusting herself to speak, she made a move towards the door, but Jamie stopped her, grabbing her elbow as he pulled her to him once more for a brief, yet lingering kiss. When he finally released her, he stroked her cheeks. "Remember this when you talk to Frank," he murmured, the corner of his eyes crinkling as he smiled.

 _Oh, sweet Lord!_ Without saying a word, she staggered back, slamming her shoulders on the edge of the door frame before shuffling away.

..........

Frank was stood in the main doorway looking out, hands stuffed in the pocket of his jacket. He spun around as soon as he heard Claire approach. _How rude of Jenny not to let him in!_

"Hello, love, you dropped this as you got into the car," he said, waving her iPhone. "You reversed so quick, you probably didn't hear me call after you."

Claire knew well why she was trying to make a fast get-away from Frank earlier. He had wanted to kiss her, and she had retreated hastily in panic. Before she could reply, she heard Jamie coming down the stairs. _Oh shite, I'm in a pickle!_ "Thanks for stopping by," was all she could say, trying to sound calm as she took her phone back from Frank.

"Are you alright? Your face looks a bit flush. I hope you're not coming down with something." Frank's one hand reached out to touch her forehead as a look of concern crossed his face. 

"No...I'm alright. No, actually, I have this blasted headache. Maybe I just need to lie down," Claire explained, one hand reaching out to touch her head for emphasis. She wasn't fibbing this time as she felt Jamie stand behind her, one arm resting on the door above her head.

"Hey, Jamie...I just stopped by to drop Claire's phone."

"How are ye, pal, ages since I've seen ye...we ought to go for a couple of pints and catch up one of these days before the hotel opens," Jamie greeted his friend, his voice sounding absurdly normal, if not a bit too cheerful as if the kiss never happened. Looking down at the top of Claire's head, he smiled. "Claire's headache must be from the rigorous French lessons I've been giving her."

Claire choked on the air she inhaled, her face reddening over again.

"French lessons?" Frank's brow furrowed watching Claire fail miserably in suppressing a cough. He reached out to thump her on the back, but Jaime's hand got there first, massaging the area between her shoulder blades. "Well, Jamie's the man for anything French. He worked there for many years...blimey Claire, get yourself some hot toddy and go to bed..."

"No, really...I'm alright," she gasped, blinking away her watery eyes. _Bloody hell Jamie!_ "But I think I will lie down before going out tonight..." Claire couldn't stand there any longer and have a normal conversation with Jamie and Frank. She knew her face was like an open book, and any second now, she will reveal what just ensued upstairs. What she needed was a few moments to herself to gather her thoughts.

"French lessons?" Jenny chimed in as she came out of the dining room and walked towards them with a box of empty bottles to be recycled. She placed them on the floor by the entrance, before straightening up. "Jamie, lad...I could do with some French lessons...maybe I'd join Claire during one of yer sessions."

This time it was Jamie's turn to choke, and this time it was Claire's turn to slap him on the back.

Taking it as her cue to leave and head for the safety of her bedroom, Claire gave Frank a quick peck on the cheek. "Right I'm off for a nap. See you, Saturday!" She didn't wait for a reply and hurried up the stairs. Once in her room, she locked the door, replaying Jamie's kiss over and over in her head, her date on Saturday already totally forgotten.

..........

Jamie looked at his watch...still ample of time to chop more woods before dinner in the Italian restaurant. He flipped off the split wood he was chopping on a tree stump and placed a new block. There were enough firewoods for the coming winter, but he needed to exorcise all the pent up energy that had accumulated after kissing Claire. Using a heavy sharp tool while being so epically predisposed to having a hard-on, coupled with the fast diminishing daylight, is quite a dangerous thing, and may result in an injury. 

That possibility should have been enough to ease the pressure in his cock, but after that kiss, he knew there was no relief. Every time he allowed his mind to wander, it always returned to Claire. Sure, he was in love with her and always had been, but this is now a totally different ballgame. He was no longer a boy, and it was no longer enough just to hold her hand and be content to have her by his side. He wanted more, but there was Frank too. He surmised Claire was a virgin after that little detail of _not having been kissed_ slipped out. The thought of Frank taking her innocence made his stomach churn. They might be good friends, but he'd been an utter idiot back in their school days, and Claire could never fault him.

Years of self-imposed restraint, it all came to a tipping point when he walked in on Geillis and Claire about to kiss. Two women kissing each other should have been a sensual experience to watch. Instead, it made him feel as though his skin was too tight like he was on the verge of combusting. The idea of anyone touching Claire, man or woman, especially Frank, didn't sit well with him. He didn't want anyone else to lay a finger on her. Except for him.

On the other hand, the idea seemed so preposterous as she considered him as her brother. _Surely not, after that kiss?_ Back in their school days, no one even gave her a second look nor noticed her more exceptional qualities. It had been him who appreciated her adorable and funny side. It had been him who was there when she needed someone most. Generous to a fault, and despite disappointments in her school life, Claire always had a smile for everyone. Except, the kids in school chose to ignore her. It was a good thing there was Willie and him watching over; otherwise, she would have been bullied out of Scotland. Now that she was back for good, everyone was noticing. _Oh hell yes, they are noticing alright...damn them all!_ He knew because he overheard people talking about her at the construction site in their hotel. She was no longer the awkward orphaned child. They mentioned her now by her name...instead of referring to her as the Fraser foster kid. Now she was the girl next door who had decided to fulfil every man's naughty fantasy, and all Claire ever did to achieve that effect was to grow up nicely. Not even Frank was immune to her charms who tend to gravitate more towards blonde women, and now he had his eyes on her too. _Damn ye, Frank!_

And there was the kiss. Jamie had kissed girls before, and he knew there was nothing sisterly the way Claire had responded to him. She was hesitant initially, quite reasonably as he had taken her by surprise. In fact, he had taken himself by surprise. It was never his intention to kiss, but damn, the sight of her lips parted, and eyes closed waiting for Geillis, did it for him. When Claire responded to his kisses, there was this urgency crowding him. To take as much as he could and memorised her taste. Never before had anyone kissed like her, honest and unrestrained and with so much trust. No way was he allowing Frank to get a taste of that, not if he could help it!

Jamie knew if he was to pursue the idea of being with Claire, he needed to talk to her first and then his family after. He'd watched her for far too long looked at another boy with lovestruck eyes. Although Jamie was lusting after her, all he could think of right now was how much he wanted her heart more than anything. Jamie needed to know if it's still Frank she wanted after all these years. Until he knows, he needed to keep his hands away from her or someone could get badly hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you've enjoyed this chapter and once again thank you all for your comments and kudos. I always love reading them most especially your feedback.
> 
> PS If I'm slightly delayed with posting updates, please excuse my tardiness as I am preparing for the Christmas festivities. 😀


	6. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously in Cours de Français
> 
> And there was the kiss. Jamie had kissed girls before, and he knew there was nothing sisterly the way Claire had responded to him. She was hesitant initially, quite reasonably as he had taken her by surprise. In fact, he had taken himself by surprise. It was never his intention to kiss, but damn, the sight of her lips parted, and eyes closed waiting for Geillis, did it for him. When Claire responded to his kisses, there was this urgency crowding him. To take as much as he could and memorised her taste. Never before had anyone kissed like her, honest and unrestrained and with so much trust. No way was he allowing Frank to get a taste of that, not if he could help it!
> 
> Jamie knew if he was to pursue the idea of being with Claire, he needed to talk to her first and then his family after. He'd watched her for far too long looked at another boy with lovestruck eyes. Although Jamie was lusting after her, all he could think of right now was how much he wanted her heart more than anything. Jamie needed to know if it's still Frank she wanted after all these years. Until he knows, he needed to keep his hands away from her or someone could get badly hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, thank you for your feedback, comments, kudos and love. I am so sorry for the delay with my chapter posts as I had to host a Christmas party. I hope you will enjoy this next chapter and I wish you all happy reading!

She thought about Jamie's kiss, and she couldn't decide whether she was enlightened or confused, excited or frightened with his actions. One thing for sure, she was caught off guard. Not having any previous kisses to compare it to, as far as she was concerned, it was a kind of kiss that made her see fireworks behind her eyelids. She tried to picture Frank kissing her the same way as Jamie did, but the image failed to form in her mind, which made it even harder to comprehend.  _ Wasn't it Frank she was supposed to be in love with? _ It's true, she was infatuated with him, and she carried that belief right through adulthood, convincing herself to this day that she was in love. Until Jamie's kiss. 

Claire had always loved Jamie  _ as a brother _ and more than once, long ago, she had fantasised what it would be like to be with him, only to shove those thoughts to the back of her head as she felt it wasn't right to indulge in such fancy.  _ What would ma and da think? _ All those years, she had vehemently convinced herself that whatever was between them was nothing more than a brother-sister bond, and it had become a mantra she religiously repeated over and over again until she had come to accept it as reality.

"Claire? Ye in there?" The doorknob rattled.

It was Geillis. Claire stood up from her dressing table to open the door. She had locked the door earlier in case Jamie came in. She wanted some alone time after their kiss. "Hey, how was your outing with Willie?"

Geillis brushed past her and plonked herself onto the bed. "Ne'er mind my outing. Sorry to leave ye earlier so abruptly..." She stopped mid-sentence and looked at her friend. She thought Claire looked odd. "What happened Claire? Did Jamie give ye a hard time now did he? I shouldn't have left ye behind earlier but..."

"I had my first kiss..." Claire announced trying to sound indifferent as she sat in front of her dressing table, trying to tame her unruly locks. It was useless hiding anything from her friend because she knew Geiliis would have found out before the evening was over.

"Whoa! Weel, weel... that was rather quick. What did ye dae after I left? Call Frank for a trial run or what? Did ye say to Frank...hey, let's dae a preliminary test and see what needs tweaking."

Claire laughed. "Don't be daft. Yeah, yeah Frank stopped by to handover my phone that I accidentally dropped in the parking lot. But the kiss happened before he came."

Geillis looked momentarily confused, but as the dots began to connect, her eyes widened, her mouth opened, and her dimples deepened. "Noooo! Jamie?"

Claire nodded as heat crept up her face. She was glad her friend was there to confide to since it was hardly a topic she could share with Jenny or Willie. "Erm, as a matter of fact, he continued where you left off. You know...French kiss lesson and all...It happened so fast, and before I knew it, we were kissing."

It was Geillis turn to laugh. "Aah, not so much brotherly now, eh? I'm no' surprised at all. I've seen the way he stares at ye when ye're no' looking...I'm wondering now what took Jamie so long. I think he's in love with ye. I ken the look of love when I see it."

Claire's heart was spasming like a dying fish. "Jesus, Geillis...I haven't had time to wrap my head around what happened earlier, and you're talking about love already. Damn it, why did Jamie have to complicate things?"

"Complicate things?" Geillis leaned back on her elbows on the bed and raised an eyebrow. "Claire, hen, Jamie might have done ye a favour. If you were really into Frank, we wouldnae be having this discussion and that kiss wouldnae mean a thing."

"Of course, it means something. We grew up together, and I've always loved Jamie. He's the best thing that ever happened to me growing up here in Lallybroch. It makes it complicated because of our circumstances."

Geillis snorted. "It's no' complicated. Ye're making it complicated! Ye're in denial because in yer mind ye think Brian and Ellen will be disappointed. Christ, Claire, why don't ye just stop overthinking things and enjoy the ride? As they say, no pain, no gain!"

There was truth in what Geillis was saying, but Claire had a lot of disappointment in life. What she had with the Fraser family was too precious, so why rock the boat to indulge in some curiosity? Although she was well travelled, anything that had to do with matters of the heart was unchartered territory. "Look, let's not discuss this any further. We have a dinner to go to. Shouldn't you be getting ready?"

"Aye, I should," she replied, jumping off the bed. "But before I go, tell me this, did ye enjoy the kiss?"

She smiled secretively. "As a matter of fact, I did enjoy the kiss, and that's what I'm afraid of," Claire admitted shyly. "I'm just hoping it wasn't one-off."

"Listen, Claire...you and Jamie need to talk. I can only give ye possibilities of what it may all mean, but only ye and Jamie have the answer to what ye're looking for. And for fuck sake, let me remind ye again...he's not yer brother, just in case ye have the mind to try to convince yersel' of something that's not." Before Claire could reply, Geillis left the room, leaving her to her own thoughts. She knew Geillis was right...she needed to speak to Jamie.

.........

Putting aside the axe, he headed towards the house. Jenny had booked them a table at the Italian restaurant, and he had a couple of hours to wash and change. He made a mental note to lock the bathroom door before taking a shower. " _ Or maybe not?" _ Jamie thought, smiling to himself with a shake to his head. He was just about to go up the stairs when he noticed the TV room door was open. They had always kept that room shut to keep the warmth in.

Jamie was about to shut the door when he noticed Claire was inside by the drinks cabinet, pouring herself a good measure of whisky. She was dressed in a short grey turtle neck top, and a high wasted black cropped trousers.  _ No danger of her walking into the bathroom then! Pity! _

"Sassenach? Ye drinking already? Don't ye want to wait after ye've eaten?" With her back to him, he couldn't help but admire her arse, her trousers fitting snugly to accentuate her curves.  _ Christ, when did she start to have hips like that? _ He was so used to seeing her with oversized sweatshirts that it blew his mind to see her wear something that fitted like a second skin.

Claire spun around too quickly, almost flipping to her side. In three strides, Jamie caught her by the elbow, steadying her feet. "Ooh, it's you, Jamie," she murmured. She straightened herself up and offered her glass to him. "Want some?" She rolled her lips inwards, leaving them twice as full when she freed them, reminding Jamie of what it had looked like after kissing her thoroughly earlier.

_ Damn it!  _ He took the glass and downed the whisky. "Christ Sassenach, are ye bevvied or what?"

"Of course not, don't be silly. Ummm... actually, I needed a bit of Dutch courage," Claire answered, smiling, pink spreading across her face.

"Seriously, whatever for..?" he rasped, thinking the whisky had to be the reason why he sounded like a wrench scraping the concrete.  _ A Dhia, she's so beautiful...I need to tell her! It's now or never. _

"I wanted to ask why you kissed me earlier," Claire whispered, lowering her voice in case someone might hear, as her eyes darted to the open doorway.

He took a step nearer gazing at her face for the longest time. Claire was no longer a lass on a cusp of womanhood but had grown up to be one damn sexy woman whether she was aware of it or not. "Ye really want to know, Sassenach?"

"Uh-huh, I do," she replied thoughtfully, her eyes crossing as she lowered her gaze to his mouth.

"I don't want to be yer brother nor yer friend any more," he said in a very rough voice. His heart thundered in his ears as he noticed where her eyes were cast.

"Why not? Don't you like me?" she asked softly, her breath warming his neck.

"Och Sassenach, you have a beautiful soul - one that shines out of you from within. How could ye think I don't like ye?" he mumbled gruffly, fascinated at how her amber gaze was fastened to his mouth. "You're beautiful inside and out. And I've told ye that a thousand times before." 

"Then tell me why you don't want to be my friend nor my brother anymore."

Caution crawled his back. He could hear his family going about their business, and anyone of them could walk right in any minute. If he was to confess his feelings, he didn't want anyone walking in. He quickly turned around and closed the door, locking it before turning his attention back to Claire, putting both his hands on her shoulders. "Because there's something I've always wanted to tell ye and I'm tired of keeping it a secret. I haven't wanted to be yer brother for as long as I can remember because..." He stopped, trying to catch his breath. "Because I'm in love with ye Claire. I've waited for a very long time..."

Claire's mouth formed an "Oh" as he cradled the underside of her jaws between his large hands and lowered his lips. After a brief kiss, he raised his head a little to look into her eyes as he waited anxiously for her response.

"Oh, Jamie, why didn't you tell me?" she asked after a moment of reflection.

"Maybe I was waiting for the right time...or maybe I was waiting until ye were old enough."

Her brows furrowed. "Old enough for what? Old enough so you could tell me what you feel?"

"Old enough for this."

His mouth slowly lowered down upon hers, giving her time to step away. But instead, without prompting and to his surprise, their lips touched as she kissed him, her hands clasping behind his neck, pulling him down closer. All those years waiting to pour his heart out that seemed to encompass a millennium suddenly seemed as though it had been no time at all. She tasted of whisky and of something sweet, and it wasn't enough. Jamie wanted more.

Not breaking their kiss, he lifted her up, and her legs automatically wrapped around his waist. Excitement shot through him with the knowledge that she wanted him too. He had been for too long making an effort trying to keep his feelings in check, protecting her from what he desperately wanted to do - until she was old enough to want it and not be terrified by it. But it's not nearly enough, he needed to know.

With a groan, Jamie dragged his mouth from hers and looked into her eyes.

"Don't stop Jamie...kiss me some more," she pleaded, her eyes glazed.

"Under one condition...cancel yer date with Frank," he said huskily, as he teased her by brushing his lips against her cheeks.

"Hmmm, I will, now kiss me...again," she said, tilting her head and offering her lips.

He became undone and kissed her deeply, their tongues engaged in an ancient dance. She met his movements, surprising him with her unexpected enthusiasm. Gently kneading her through the fabric of her clothes, he purposely brushed a hand on the side of her breast, her moans nearly pushing him over the edge.

_ It's too soon! _ Panting heavily, Jamie broke the kiss and pressed his forehead to hers. "I thought I'd go mad waiting for this to happen," he breathed, his eyes shut tight, trying to exercise tremendous restraint. He waited for his heart rate to return to normal before continuing. "But what I need to know is...what are yer thoughts about us, Sassenach? I need to know..."

Claire lowered herself from Jamie but kept her arms around his neck. "Jamie, you've always known that I love you...I said it often enough, have I not?"

"Aye ye did, but it always sounded like..." he winced, "like ye're talking to me as if I'm yer brother...and I'm not."

"No, you're not my brother, I get that now. I don't think I could look at you the same way again after today." She whispered as her eyelids fell to half-mast. "I do love you, Jamie. I think I was using my childhood infatuation with Frank to hide what I felt. I thought I would be betraying your family's trust if I acted on my feelings towards you," she said so low, he almost didn't hear. "I'm scared Jamie...I've never done this before. And I'm most especially scared about what your family will think if ever..."

He tipped her chin up and kissed her nose. God help him, he didn't expect that reply. "Christ, I've loved ye for so long, Sassenach. I never thought ye'd see me in any other way than a brother. Don't worry  _ mo nighean donn, _ my family has always been your family, and they love ye. I don't see why they would think it's wrong for us to love each other."

She reached up to kiss him lightly on his chin, threading her fingers in his coppery locks. "I hope you're right, Jamie. I love them so much, and I wouldn't want to hurt them."

He smiled, releasing his hold and moving back. Jamie didn't want to let her go, but there's a dinner they had to go to. "We'll worry about it later. Come on, we don't want to keep Jenny waiting. I'll just go for a quick shower and change. Later, after dinner, I have something to show ye. A surprise."

..........

Although Italian cuisine was one of Jamie's favourite, his discerning tastebuds as a chef couldn't fault his  _ Osso Buco Alla Milanese _ even when it arrived cold at their table. The  _ Barolo _ red wine Willie ordered, which was his least favourite because of its astringency, tasted fruity and soft. He was too happy to care even if the service was slower than usual. Jamie didn't care either if Willie, Jenny or Ian noticed his attention was focused on Claire for the most part of their evening meal. They would have probably put it down to not having seen her for the last six years. Though he had his suspicions that Geillis might have an idea. He didn't care either way.

All he could think about was Claire, blushing the whole evening whenever he leaned close to her or tried to feed her with  _ Tiramisu _ . Surely everyone would have noticed since her face was like an open book, but he didn't care. He wanted to shout out to the world, she was his girl, at last.

Finally, when dinner was over, he excused himself and Claire from joining them for a game of bowling, even though it had been Jamie's idea in the first place. To his surprise, they were both dismissed without much resistance and nagging from Jenny. No doubt, because they both hardly joined in any of their conversations during dinner.

Once they were in a cab, and after Jamie gave the address to the driver, Claire slapped him on the thigh. "Jamie! I was looking forward to bowling. Why did you do that for?"

He grinned. "Quit asking questions and come over here. I was looking more forward to this." Grabbing her by the waist, he pulled her closer and kissed her slowly until she relaxed in his arms. "That's better, Sassenach," he chuckled, breaking the kiss but still holding her close.

"Where are we going, Jamie?" she asked, ignoring his teasing and trying to determine the direction they were going as she looked out the window.

"It's a surprise! I've been meaning to show it to ye ever since ye arrived."

Claire smiled and snuggled closer, his arm holding her tight against him.

When they finally arrived at their destination, Claire couldn't make out where they were as it was very dark and it felt like they were in the middle of nowhere. After paying the cab, Jamie took her hand and led the way down the path. Once they were in front of a house, he withdrew keys from his pocket and instructed Claire to close her eyes. After slipping the key to the door and nudging it open, he guided her through a room, and once he was satisfied, he told her to open her eyes.

Jamie watched as Claire took in her surrounding, a smile spreading across her face. "Oh my God, Jamie, this fireplace is gorgeous. Whose house is this?"

"Mine," he stated proudly. "I bought it a month ago after my mortgage application was accepted. There is still a lot of work to be done, but I'll get there eventually. Da, Willie, Ian and I have been working on it, but I need to wait for other materials to arrive before I can resume work on it." He walked towards her and hugged her from behind. "Do ye like it Sassenach?"

"Are you kidding me? It's gorgeous! Was this a former croft house?" She turned around to face him, her face beaming with pride. 

"Aye, it was uninhabited for three years; hence I got a bargain. It's no' like Lallybroch...it has only three bedrooms, but it'll do for now," he whispered in her ears, nibbling an earlobe and pulling Claire closer to him. "I was hoping, when ye're ready, you could move in with me."

Claire's eyes widened. "Jamie..."

"Weel, it's no' like we haven't lived under the same roof. We're used to each other living in the same house. But like what I said whenever ye're ready. There's nae rush. I doubt it if it will be finished anytime soon. And I promise I wouldna mind ye barging in the bathroom when I'm taking a shower," he grinned wickedly, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

Claire sighed. "It's beautiful, and I do love it. You finally have your very own traditional house..."

Their conversation was interrupted by Jamie's phone. Pulling away slightly from Claire, Jamie pulled his phone from his pocket. "It's my ex. I won't answer it," he explained, showing her the screen of his mobile. It was Annalise, his ex-girlfriend from France. They had broken up amicably a few months ago, and he hadn't heard from her since. Jamie wondered why she was calling now.

"Who? Annalise? Answer it, Jamie...I don't mind. I can go to the next room if you wish."

Before Claire could move, he pulled her to him, insisting she stayed before answering the phone. And so she did.

_ "Annalise, est-ce que tout va bien?" _

..........

Claire watched Jamie as his face went through different emotions from surprise to sadness and then to shock as he spoke rapid French with his ex-girlfriend. She had known about Annalise as Jamie had mentioned her before, but had never met her in person. 

As Jamie's face went white, Claire became worried, and she wrapped her arms around his waist. But he pulled away, walking towards the window, one hand massaging his neck as he looked out into the dark. When he finally switched off his phone, Jamie just stood there in silence.

"Jamie, what is it? Talk to me!"

"Annalise was diagnosed with cervical cancer, and it's terminal. She doesna have long to live," he said slowly, unsure whether to continue talking. But when he finally did, his voice stammered. "Sassenach, she's pregnant, and she's not sure if I'm the father or no'. She admitted to having a one night stand after we broke up. She's very frightened and said she needs me."

Claire swallowed hard. She knew Annalise was an orphan like her, but she wasn't fortunate enough with her adoptive family who was abusive and cruel. Trying to be brave, she approached Jamie and touched his cheek. "You need to go to her Jamie. She has no one. I know that much because you told me her story awhile ago. She needs you."

Jamie hugged her tight, not wanting to let go. "No...I need ye Sassenach..." he muttered against her neck.

"No Jamie...she needs you more than you need me. We have to be adults about this. Ma would say the same thing," she said as firmly as she could muster, even though tiny pangs of jealousy were stabbing at her heart. "You go to her, and I'll be waiting for you here."

"Christ Sassenach, come with me, and both of us can help her..."

"No Jamie, da needs me remember...the hotel will be opening soon. And I can't let him down."

Jamie had no words as he knew she was right. The only thing Claire could do as a way of comfort, was to embrace him and try to be strong, hoping and praying for a miracle for Annalise's health and fortitude for Jamie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thank you all for your feedback. I truly appreciate them and look forward to reading them. Just to remind you, whilst we're in the holiday season, there may be delays in my post. I'm truly sorry for that and hopefully, once the holidays are over, I can post the chapters quicker. Wishing you all a happy holiday season and may you all be surrounded by love, warmth and joy.


	7. The Family Gathering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on Confessions...
> 
> Jamie hugged her tight, not wanting to let go. "No...I need ye Sassenach..." he muttered against her neck.
> 
> "No Jamie...she needs you more than you need me. We have to be adults about this. Ma would say the same thing," she said as firmly as she could muster, even though tiny pangs of jealousy were stabbing at her heart. "You go to her, and I'll be waiting for you here."
> 
> "Christ Sassenach, come with me, and both of us can help her..."
> 
> "No Jamie, da needs me remember...the hotel will be opening soon. And I can't let him down."
> 
> Jamie had no words as he knew she was right. The only thing Claire could do as a way of comfort, was to embrace him and try to be strong, hoping and praying for a miracle for Annalise's health and fortitude for Jamie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you've all had a fabulous Christmas. Thank you all for the love, comments and feedback. I wish you all happy reading!

"Are ye sure ye want to be the one to tell them, Sassenach? I had it already in mind what to tell ma and da, and I'm more or less prepared," Jamie said as he handed the last of the washed plates to Claire, giving her a reassuring smile. 

"I'm definitely sure," Claire replied softly, flipping the dishcloth over her shoulder as she put away dishes in the cupboard. "Since I'm very much involved, I really ought to say something. Ma and da would probably be interested in what I have to say too. You can tell them about Annalise afterwards." 

_Annalise. Christ! How could I have forgotten about her?_

Although Claire was a picture of calm, Jamie could feel the anxiety and nervousness rioting through her. It's a sixth sense he had developed where she was concerned. Jamie was very familiar with the nuances of her emotions, expressions and behaviour. And even after her six years of physical absence in his life, he could still read her like a book.

Earlier, during dinner, Jamie had announced his wish for a family meeting after their meal. Usually a loud affair, with everyone talking at the same time, the banter and chatter were toned down a notch as they noted the seriousness in Jamie's voice. Ellen, his mother, though looking a tad worried, tried to lighten the mood with a smile. "Of course, Jamie, dear. We will take our drinks in the living room after we're done eating...that's if the whole family are in agreement."

Everyone nodded in reply while Brian harumphed when his wife gave him a look, knowing he'd rather be watching sports on TV after his meal.

Although curiosity and concern were etched on everyone's faces, no one asked any questions, preferring to wait until they were all gathered in the family room. Seeing the attention had turned to Claire as they noticed her fidgeting on her seat and her face turning crimson, Jamie tried to downplay the situation by asking Geillis and Jenny's fiance, Ian, to join the family meeting. _Fuck it! They might as well know._

After dinner, Claire had volunteered to clear up, and Jamie had joined her, offering to wash the dishes while she dried. He presumed she needed time to gather her thoughts and probably, to sort out the many emotions he'd seen displayed on her face. _Christ, is she having doubts about us?_

The night before, following the news of Annalise's cervical cancer and pregnancy, they both went home lost in their own thoughts, holding each other's hands after Jamie called for a cab. Claire's mere presence was a relief. How many times had they sat in silence whenever he was troubled as kids, and not a word would pass through their lips, her solace and support speaking in volumes. He still had doubts about Claire's true feelings and hoped she wasn't confusing her sibling affection for him as a love between a man and a woman that desired one another. Having kissed her and felt her respond to him after years of hoping she felt the same way, his heart felt like two stones grinding together, knowing he would be leaving soon. _It's far too soon when we should be enjoying the beginnings of a committed relationship._ But it had always been that way with her - others' needs before hers, and he felt like a reprobate and a scumbag for not giving Annalise's plight much thought. _There will be enough time for that!_ Jamie had five days before he departs for France and he meant to spend every second with Claire before he goes. 

Growing up, they had been demonstrative with their affection for one another and were thick as thieves, but Jamie couldn't help but notice of late, Claire's sudden shyness whenever he was near. She was full of contradictions as there was nothing shy about her kisses when she was in his arms. Probably too much, too soon, he thought, and it didn't help that he couldn't keep his hands off her. Claire's responsiveness to his kisses took every shred of decency he possessed not to take it any further, thinking he might frighten her away. _Damn it!_ He wished sometimes they didn't have those shared childhood memories labelled as siblings because it made their current relationship seem wrong in her eyes.

Without much thought of anyone that may walk in on them, he suddenly took Claire's hand and led her to the walk-in pantry. She didn't say a word, her smile hinting she knew what he was up to. In the small confines of the tiny room, he brought her up against him, enfolding her in a hug that made the world seem right again. He wanted so badly to reassure her that there was nothing wrong with what they felt for one another.

"Sassenach, after we've talked to everyone...ye and I...we're going to have a very long talk too," he muttered, grazing his teeth at the side of her neck. He heard a delicate whimper, and his heart started to race. _Oh fuck!_ How could he concentrate on the task at hand when Claire reacts like that every time he touched her. It blew his mind that she enjoyed his kisses as much as he did.

"Talk sure, but kissing is better," she whispered, her hands pulling down his neck to bring his mouth closer to hers.

He resisted, though it pained him to do so. He'd taken to heart what Claire had said about doing the right thing by Annalise, but he needed to sort whatever is between them before he goes. "Christ Claire, I'm trying my hardest to be grown-up here and do the right thing when all I want is to be with ye. When I leave for France, there should be nae doubts between us and I need to know if ye'll be waiting for me. I'm all in, Sassenach...all the way in, and I want ye more than anything in life and always have, but I want ye to be sure if this is what ye want...us..." _Christ, being responsible is too fucking painful._

Claire seemed to search for the right words, as Jaime held his breath. "Yes, Jamie, I'm all in, if you are." 

It was all he needed to hear. "Good lass..." Then his mouth crushed down on Claire's for an intense kiss, willing whatever trepidation she had to vanish.

..........

_This is what I want, right? Jamie...yes definitely. What if Annalise's health improves and Jamie falls in love with her again? What if the baby is his? Oh God, why am I sending this beautiful man who wants me away? It's too late to change my mind now. Fickle is immature and childish. Yes, I'm all in. I can do this. Oh fuck, what if I can't?_

One of her other biggest worries was, disappointing the only family she had left. It didn't help that memories of her being ostracised in school kept resurfacing for being unconventional. Now that she was back, what would the people that knew her, say. All she ever wanted was to fit in, and Jamie, for as long as she can remember, had always made sure she belonged. Now he wants her to belong to him...to be with him. Would that be acceptable in the eyes of the people that knew and love the Fraser family? Would ma and da be disappointed? This was in a hamlet where views and beliefs were still stuck in the past and very old fashion. In a lot of people's eyes, fostered or not, she was the Frasers' daughter, even though she had retained her real parents' name. For far too long, she suppressed the attraction she felt towards Jamie, not even daring to let it dwell in her thoughts, thinking it was unethical. Surely, not anymore, in this day and age.

Claire chewed her bottom lip, as she checked her phone, aware that Jamie's eyes were on her. She didn't want to raise her head in case someone saw the dread plastered on her face.

Everyone was seated in the family room, except for Brian. He had gone to retrieve a bottle of whisky from the cellar to replenish the drinks' cabinet as they all waited apprehensively...save for Geillis. She had a knowing smile on her face, having a fair idea of what is about to transpire. Claire avoided sitting next to Jamie and sat next to Willie instead. She knew the rest of the family would find it odd as she and Jamie had always sat together whenever possible when they were growing up, Ellen often mentioning that they were attached at the hip. Their usual seat was occupied by Ian and Jenny, a single armchair that they would have normally squeezed into.

"Right...so everyone has a glass?" Brian walked in with the whisky, and everyone perked up, eager for the family talk to get started.

 _Oh, God, here goes nothing._ Claire had prepared her speech and had been going through it in her head for the last fifteen minutes. She watched as Brian poured whisky in each glass, and when it came to her, she whispered, "Make it a treble, da." She was beyond caring. She needed the drink badly.

Without saying anything, Brian cocked an eyebrow at Claire as he poured her desired measure. Once the whisky was served, he settled down next to Ellen. "Alright, what's the meeting all about then, Jamie?" Brian addressed, asserting his position as the head of the family.

Before Jamie, could reply and before her bravado could leave her, Claire jumped onto her feet, surprising Willie and almost spilling his drink. "I'll go first," she announced in a cracked voice, as she walked into the middle of the room, facing the semi-circle formation of the occupied seats. She swigged her whisky and took one big swallow before continuing. "I have something to say too."

Nobody said a word except for a few "Ohs.". They weren't expecting her to commence the assemblage, but they all looked at her with surprised curiosity. Claire was about to speak further when it occurred to her, the speech she had prepared mentally, had gone flying out the window. _Oh fuck!_ She slammed her eyes shut, trying to find the words. _Wing it, Beauchamp, for fuck sake, just wing it!_ She looked at her audiences' eager faces, urging her to say something and decided to concentrate on one face. Jenny's! Her expression was always deadpan and the least distracting. 

Inhaling deeply, she let the words flow out. "I'm in love, " Claire blurted, regretting the outburst half a second later. 

_Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ! Did I just say that! Too late Beauchamp...keep winging it!_ It wasn't supposed to come out that way. Claire continued to grope in the dark for the speech she prepared, but the carefully memorised words remained elusive. She glanced quickly at Jamie. He was shaking his head with his eyes closed, a hand holding his forehead. He knew too that wasn't how it was supposed to come out. _Too late!_

There was a hushed silence, as she refocused her attention on Jenny, whose face was slowly breaking into a smile and her head bobbing for Claire to continue while squeezing Ian's hand.

"Oh, that's lovely dear, " Ellen gushed, and in her periphery, Claire saw her foster mother lay both hands on her chest awaiting what her next words would be.

"Who's the lad?" Brian asked, seemingly unaffected by the announcement.

"Is it Frank?" Willie chimed in, a disappointment already forming his face.

Geillis didn't say a word. There was an irritating smug look on her face, and Claire knew, her friend was entertained by the whole scenario.

"I'm in love with one of my siblings." _Damn, damn, damn, it still came out wrong. Oh, fuck, never mind!_ Indeed never mind...there it was now, out in the open. Claire let out a breath she'd been holding and waited. She saw Jenny's eyes widened, and Ian straightened up from his slumped position, while everyone remained hushed. She realised her gaze was still unwaveringly focused on Jenny.

It was Jenny who spoke first, her words coming out slow and careful. "Claire lass, ye're in love with me?"

Ellen gasped, and Jaime groaned.

Claire felt mortified at the misunderstanding. "Oh no, not you, Jenny! I do love you but no...oh God, not that way. Jesus! This is all coming out wrong, isn't it?" _Oh fuck!_

"Claire, sweetheart which one of the lads?" Brian asked his voice steady and firm, seemingly the only one who understood the drift of what she was trying to say and understanding her discomfort.

Momentarily closing her eyes, she pointed a finger towards Jamie's direction, just like a child after being asked by a teacher who the culprit was. _Christ why couldn't I have just said his name...I'm such an idiot!_ There was a long deafening silence, that seemed to go on forever. She hoped when she opened her eyes, they would all have disappeared. Unfortunately for her, when she did, they were all still there, their faces a picture of _awe?_ That can't be, right? Not Willie's tone though.

"Jamie, what have ye done?" It was Willie, sounding displeased as if he had caught his younger brother doing something forbidden.

"What do you mean, what have I done?" Jamie retorted, a hint of annoyance in his voice.

Claire spun around to look at Willie, his face was full of accusation. Then it dawned on her what her older foster brother must have been thinking. It was blowing all across his features like a red flag. "For fuck sake, Willie...lay off Jamie, will you! He's done nothing wrong. If you must know, I've never been with a man...I'm a virgin!" _Oh sweet mother of God, too much information....why can't I fucking shut my mouth up._

"Ye are?" Jenny and Willie asked simultaneously, their eyes genuinely wide as saucers in disbelief.

In the background, she could hear Geillis trying to smother a giggle. _Damn her! She started all this with her French kiss lessons!_

Claire didn't know whether to laugh or cry, but she could feel hysteria rising up from the pit of her guts. If she hadn't been in the middle of this shamble, she would have found the situation amusing. Unfortunately, she had created this for herself, and she wished the floor would open up and swallow her whole.

Before Claire could respond and say anything more, Jenny got up from her seat and squealed, hugging her tight. "Oh Claire, I've had my suspicions over the years, but I wasn't too sure. Ah ye wee dafty, is that why ye been acting funny these days?" And then she turned to Jamie. "Weel, lad...I suppose ye ken about this?"

It wasn't the reaction Claire was expecting. She looked at each of their faces staring at her. There was no look of disapproval nor reproach. Surprise yes and a hint of a smile from ma and da, while Willie's expression remained indiscernible as he looked on impassively.

Jamie nodded with a grin, winking at Claire. She could see the tension, had eased from his shoulders. "I have been in love with Claire for years, but I only told her yesterday," he confessed, the tips of his ears turning pink as everyone's attention turned to him.

"And I'm only hearing this now?" Willie asked his brother in a clipped voice, a frown marring his brow.

Claire glanced over at Willie to find him, what seemed like to her, scowling at Jamie. She thought this behaviour was odd as Willie was the most mild-mannered and least temperamental out of the three siblings.

"Ye were tae busy adulting, Willie...ye wanted nought to do with us children, in case ye've forgotten," Jamie pointed out, his lips twitching.

It was apparent to Claire that Jamie caught that funny tone on Willie's voice. Jamie had only told the truth as there was five years age gap between the brothers and growing up, Jamie was closer to Claire than he was with Willie and Jenny.

Her attention riveted to Ellen, as she stood up from her seat. Claire's heart skipping a beat, she waited with bated breath for what Ellen had to say. "Och, darling, my baby girl...come here." Claire blinked, as she was pulled into her arms, one hand stroking the back of her head. "Sweet, sweet, girl is in love with my boy."

Claire stifled a sob, as a wave of relief washed over her. Oh, how she had wanted their approval so much and now that she had it, she couldn't be any happier. She knew Jamie must feel the same way too. But the discussion was far from over as there was the case with Annalise to be told. She looked at Brian over Ellen's shoulder, who simply nodded and raised his tumbler of whisky as if to say, he was happy for them too. 

"Oh, God, ma...I thought you'd be mad."

"Mad?" Ellen appeared surprised. "Why should I be mad, darling? Love is something that comes to us all when we least expect it." Then Ellen leaned closer to her ears. "I'm just glad it was with ye Jamie has fallen in love with." 

She could hardly believe what Ellen was saying, as she stood there stupidly trying to take in all their reactions.

Claire was brought back from her thoughts when Brian brought their attention to him with a knuckle rap on the coffee table. "So, are we all done and sorted? Can I go now and watch the footie?" Everyone laughed. Brian didn't seem too bothered about Jamie and Claire's news, but he looked happy enough to ease Claire's worries.

"Er...da, we're not done yet. There's something else..." Jamie added quickly before everyone dispersed from the room.

"Aye, weel, get on with it, lad. I don't have all evening, ye ken."

The family remained seated as Jamie took Claire's place on the floor, explaining the situation with his ex-girlfriend. Although they felt sorry for Annalise's plight and didn't doubt Jamie's words when he said he doesn't think the baby she was carrying was his, the sad story was overshadowed by Claire's earlier confession. None of them had ever met Annalise; hence the lack of emotional connection. It was only Ellen who voiced her approval of what Jamie planned to do...the right thing. _Just in case...just in case the child Annalise is carrying is Jamie's and would be left orphaned if Annalise did die._

Claire looked around to ask Willie what he thought, but instead, she found an empty seat that he occupied earlier. She felt a tinge of sadness in her heart, as she wanted him badly to approve of her relationship with Jamie. 

...........

Later alone in her room, Claire let out a massive sigh of relief, but it was short-lived as her thoughts wandered back to reality. Jamie will be leaving for France in five days, to see another woman. His ex-girlfriend, no less. Oh God, for once, she wanted to be selfish, and she didn't want him to go. She looked at her reflection on the dressing table's mirror. Jesus, no wonder everyone... well almost everyone, can read her like an open book. Her expression was the epitome of conflicted. _No, stop it, Beauchamp, get a grip! He will be back before you know it._ She knew she will be busy enough once the hotel re-opens and hours will be rigorous to keep her mind preoccupied.

The door opened slowly, and Jamie let himself in. Claire had been expecting him after he gave her a nod earlier before she ran up the stairs. Their knack for understanding each other's unspoken communication had become finely honed over the years. 

Standing before her, Jamie's sheer size made her room suddenly seemed so small. He had always been a tall lad for his age while growing up, but over time, he had filled out too nicely. Having taken off his sweatshirt earlier, his grey top hugged tightly across the expanse of his muscular chest and taut washboard abs. Awareness crept over her, lifting goosebumps down the length of her arms, making her thighs feel like gelatin. Her breath hitched when he lifted her up from her dressing table seat and took her place, settling her on his lap with her legs, straddling his thighs. Her wrists locked automatically behind his neck.

He pressed his forehead against hers, a beautiful smile forming his lips. "How are ye, Sassenach? It wasna too bad earlier, was it?" he murmured, adjusting his hold to bring her closer against his chest.

She laughed if somewhat a wee bit shakily, his warm breath on her face doing wonders to her insides. "Not too bad? I thought you were dying a little out there, every time I opened my mouth to speak."

"Mmm, speaking of mouth, I thought the evening would never end. All I could think of is kissing you," came Jamie's low voice from her thick curls hanging around his shoulders. Claire could feel a finger tugging at a lone tendril. "This house has far too many people. How about we go to my house for a bit of privacy?"

Claire knew precisely what Jamie meant. In Frasers' household, nobody ever knocks on the door...they simply walked in. Although their secret wasn't secret anymore, she didn't want anyone walking on them while kissing. "Privacy to do what?" she teased, smiling against his lips as he brushed his mouth tantalisingly across hers.

"We can stay the night there. I have a mattress I use when working late in the house. We can carry it next to the fireplace, and we'll bring extra blankets and duvets." Mistaking her shudder for apprehension, he pulled away and looked directly into her eyes. "We're just going to cuddle, Sassenach and maybe talk a little. I want to spend a lot of time with ye before I go to France if that's alright?" His hands caressed her back and arms, his eyes, dark and intense, betraying how aware he was of her as she was of him.

"Of course Jamie, I would like that." She hardly heard her own voice when she replied as she felt a stirring coming to life inside of her. Yearning for something she couldn't verbalise, there was an unexpected awareness of emptiness in places she never knew, that she understood with sudden clarity, only Jamie could fill. "I'll just grab a few things. But before we go, I need to have a word with Willie," she croaked, her mouth suddenly feeling parched.

"Aye, do that, and I'll grab a few blankets and other things." He stood up, lifting Claire away from him, the gravelly tone of his voice revealing his effort of exercising control. "Don't take too long!" 

..........

Claire looked everywhere for Willie and finally found him sat outside on the doorstep, cradling an empty glass.

"Hey! There you are"

Willie looked up at her, scooting to the side so she can sit down. "Hey to ye too," he replied with a weak smile, dragging a hand through his hair.

"Want a top-up?" Claire showed a bottle of whisky she brought with her and took out her own glass from her jacket pocket. "It's cold out here, and I thought this should warm you up."

"Aye, thank ye." He watched as she poured the whisky. "Ye've developed quite a taste for excellent single malt over the years haven't ye?"

She laughed, raising the glass to him. "Does that mean, I'm officially a Scot?"

"Not quite. Ye still have that bloody posh English accent. I dinna ken how ye managed to hang on to it after all these years living here." When Claire didn't reply, he purposely bumped his shoulder against hers. "But ye ken, it doesnae matter if ye still carry the name Beauchamp...to me ye'll always be a Fraser."

Claire smiled, grateful that the frown on his face was gone. "Willie... I want to know if...if you disapprove of Jamie and me." She paused, taking a sip of her amber liquid. "You didn't look too happy in there earlier. And it's important to me that you don't hate me for it."

He laughed without humour as he took a sip of his own drink. "Ach, don't mind me, Claire. You know fine that I don't hate ye. I was probably just shocked. I dinna expect..." Willie swallowed hard. "I dinna expect ye and Jamie. I always thought ye were just a couple of kids beings kids. Don't worry about it."

"That's good. I'm glad..." Claire whispered. "Actually, I expected the shock reaction more from Jenny and ma and da...but, not from you."

Willie cocked an eyebrow, looking at her this time. "Aye? Really? Why is that?"

"I don't know. I guess maybe it's because you rarely told me off or disapproved any of my life decisions. And I've done a lot of crazy things in my travels that you knew about and ye were the only one that I managed not to shock. Remember when I did that bungee jump? Christ, I received a lot rollicking from everyone, especially ma and Jamie...but you...you thought it was bloody brave of me."

Willie laughed out loud, the sound of his laughter more sincere this time. "Aye, that was brave of ye. I've always admired yer passion for adventure. I like the fact that ye dae what ye love to dae..." He shook his head, smiling. "Are ye happy, Claire?"

"Yes...very happy but sad at the same time that Jamie will be leaving soon." Then remembering it was her idea to send Jamie to Annalise, she added with a slightly defensive tone, "But I know he'll be doing the right thing, right? What do you think?"

He sighed and opened his arms to give her a hug. Claire scooted nearer and laid her head on his shoulder, his arms going around her back. "I cannae answer that Claire, but If I was Jamie, I wouldn't even think of leaving ye," Willie whispered, his eyes faraway looking into the dark of the night.

"Sassenach, are ye ready?" Jamie asked softly as he stood in the doorway, looking down at them.

Willie and Claire hadn't heard Jamie approached nor the door opened. "Just give me a minute Jamie...I shan't be long," Claire replied, inclining her head towards him. Then she turned to Willie. "I'll see you tomorrow? Jamie is taking me to his house."

Willie nodded with a smile. "Aye, see ye tomorrow. And leave the whisky behind, please. I think I'll sit here for a while."

Claire handed the bottle to him. "Don't drink the whole bottle, alright? Leave some for tomorrow. And here..." Claire took the scarf from her neck and gave it to him. "Sit on this or else the steps will freeze your arse off."

Willie laughed, taking the bottle and her scarf off her hand. "Thanks...now go...Jamie is waiting."

She gave Willie a quick peck on the cheek before clambering up the stairs, her legs twinging with pins and needles. Glancing back at Willie, she noticed he had wrapped her scarf around his shoulders instead of laying it on the steps to sit on. She sighed as she hoped and prayed, in her heart of hearts, that sombre smile he had just given her wasn't any indication that he was displeased with his brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I would like to thank you for all your comments. They inspire me to write and dig deep in those creative juices. I wish you all a Happy New Year and hopefully, (not a promise) I could sneak in another chapter before 2020 comes. If not, may the New Year bring you all wonderful surprises, loads of love, good health and abundance. Sending you all heartfelt hugs and love. xoxox


	8. Cuddles and Talks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously in The Family Gathering...
> 
> Willie laughed out loud, the sound of his laughter more sincere this time. "Aye, that was brave of ye. I've always admired yer passion for adventure. I like the fact that ye dae what ye love to dae..." He shook his head, smiling. "Are ye happy, Claire?"
> 
> "Yes...very happy but sad at the same time that Jamie will be leaving soon." Then remembering it was her idea to send Jamie to Annalise, she added with a slightly defensive tone, "But I know he'll be doing the right thing, right? What do you think?"
> 
> He sighed and opened his arms to give her a hug. Claire scooted nearer and laid her head on his shoulder, his arms going around her back. "I cannae answer that Claire, but If I was Jamie, I wouldn't even think of leaving ye," Willie whispered, his eyes faraway looking into the dark of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ******************************************  
> *******EXPLICIT SEXUAL CONTENT******  
> ******************************************
> 
> Wishing you all happy reading!

_We're just going to cuddle._ That's what he said to Claire before they left Lallybroch earlier. He groaned inwardly as Jamie replayed the images of them alone in his house, surrounded in quiet with all time restraints fading away. He knew he was setting himself for torture, knowing full well that this time there would be no distractions nor intrusions from his family. As much as he fought it, visions of Claire, naked on a pile of blankets by the fireplace, the light of the fire illuminating her pale skin, kept popping in his head. The thought made his cock twitch and tightened his muscles to the point of pain. It was going to be a very long night, and he wondered if cuddling would be enough to assuage the aches from years of wanting her. But they needed to have that talk before anything else went any further, and he had only five days to erase whatever doubts lurking behind Claire's eyes. 

Willie's reaction from earlier didn't go unnoticed. _What the fuck was that all about?_ Jamie wanted to believe that it was nothing other than an overprotective older brother's response. Although he was relieved the rest of his family took their news in a stride, he couldn't help but feel the gnawing sensation in his guts that Willie's reaction was more than brotherly.

As he opened the door to his house, Jamie gestured Claire to precede him. "I'll get the fire started... and...uhm...ye can make yersel' comfortable," he said, trying to swallow what felt like a cotton ball lodged in his throat. _Christ, keep it together! The last thing ye need is Mick Jagger doing his stand up routine! Focus!_

"I'll prepare the drinks. I saw you slipped a bottle of whisky in your bag, but I brought some red wine too." Claire walked in, kicking off her ankle boots and taking out bottles from her duffel bag that she placed on the floor in the process.

Following her to the kitchen to look for matches, Jamie's eyes involuntarily skimmed the length of her body as she slipped off her jacket and placed it on the worktop. His gaze settled on the black pants she wore, which was way too snug in the curves department. Good Lord, he figured restraint was going to be more difficult than he thought when he felt his heart relocate to his throat. He could feel it beating there painfully, making breathing difficult.

Thanks to boobs, Jamie first became aware of Claire's womanly charms at a tender age of twelve when one night she had agitatedly barged into his room, holding a tiny bra in her hand. At age ten, she was an early bloomer, and like his ma, he hadn't failed to notice the changes that were occurring with her body. "Ma says I have to start wearing these because my tits jiggle when I run," she wailed while waving the offensive undergarment in the air.

Naturally, his attention had been immediately drawn to her breasts. Alarmed like she was with her physique's transformation, part of him had been curious what it would have felt like to touch that part of her growing anatomy. Although guilt, shame and confusion plagued his thoughts, his love for Claire was always at the forefront of his mind. 

It had all started when three older boys stole his brand new bicycle. He was only ten, and she had been with him, on their way back home from school. The bullies had pushed Jamie off his bike, and Claire bravely fought back swinging his cricket bat at the offenders. She ended up being propelled into the mud and having her eyeglasses smashed. Instead of crying, she had run to Jamie to console him. "It's alright, Jamie, I'm here for you. I chased the bullies away. Don't you worry, I have a bit of pocket money saved, and I'll buy you a new bike. You know that I love you, don't you?" she had crooned in his ears, sounding like a sweet angel that she was, her small hands rubbing his back. 

From that moment on, looking into her huge honey, coloured eyes, he knew he would love her forever and swore to himself to protect her whatever harm or hurt came her way.

"Jamie, is there hot water? I would like to have a shower first." Snapping out of reverie, he noticed she had turned around, puzzled features staring back at him, golden eyes big and questioning. _Why does she look all flustered all of a sudden?_

Suddenly aware that his expression must have spoken of all sorts of filthy intentions, he mentally kicked himself on the arse. Remedying that split second of awkward moment, he closed the distance between them. Framing Claire's jaw with both hands, he kissed her briefly, careful not to make body contact. It was important to have his wits about him and not be distracted from what he had planned. "Aye, we had the boiler installed last week. Ye go have a shower, and I'll bring the drinks in the living room," he replied hoarsely. He needed a few moments to start breathing again and hopefully, by the time he started the fire and prepared their bed for the night, he would have regained control of his runaway thoughts.

Twenty minutes later, hearing Claire exit the bathroom, he lit the scented candles on the fireplace mantel, muttering to himself that all his preparations weren't any form of seduction. _Yeah right, Fraser lad, who are ye kidding!_ He had five days to make their time together count and convince her that she's the only woman for him even though he would be leaving her side to help Annalise for an indefinite period. He didn't want to leave her doubting his love for her, fully aware of the many insecurities she had. And not to forget Frank, _that damn prick_ , who had his eyes set on his girl. Shaking his head to refocus on the present, he quickly scanned the room, glancing at the warm glow from the fireplace, the flickering light of the candles and the mattress in the centre of the room, layered with blankets and pillows. Satisfied with his handiwork, he poured whisky in two tumbler glasses. 

Claire walked in with bare feet wearing one of his shirts, the hem dangling just above her knees. His whisky glass froze midair as he watched her twirl her damp locks into a bun on top of her head, keeping it in place with a hairband. She looked like she just stepped out from his wet dreams. _Christ, reel it in, lad. Stick to the plan...it's cuddles and talks, mind?_ "Enjoy yer shower, Sassenach?" He thought he sounded like he swallowed a handful of sand with crushed glass. How could he ever withstand leaving her when its time to go to France?

"I did." She paused for a while before saying anything further, her eyes lighting up as she took in the room. "Aww, Jamie, this is so romantic and cosy. Are you trying to seduce me?" She laughed, the words coming from her own mouth seemed to have startled her, making crimson slowly creep up her neck.

Ignoring her question, he stifled a groan. "Do ye like it?"

She nodded eagerly, the smile on her face making his chest ache. "Sorry for nicking your t-shirt. I prefer them to my pyjamas."

 _So do I._ For as long as he could remember, Claire had taken to using his t-shirts as her nightwear, and he loved the idea of her wearing something that belonged to him. Refilling his own glass, before handing her a tumbler of whisky, he hoped the task would lower his pulse enough to enable him to concentrate. "Nick away...ye look better in it than I do." 

"Na-uh, not true. You fit in it nicely in all the right places," Claire replied softly, her eyes animating playfully as she took a sip of the single malt, a different hue of red spreading across her cheeks.

Jamie took a healthy gulp of his own drink, instantaneously feeling the lethargic effect of the whisky, making him loosed-tongue and relaxed. "Christ Sassenach, keep talking like that and ye're going to see what's underneath really fast." Taking the glass from her, he turned away to place their tumblers on the floor with a resounding whump. "Come here."

Claire didn't hesitate. In a heartbeat, she was stood before him, her arms around his neck, and on tiptoes gazing into his eyes. She tilted her head to the side and quirked an eyebrow. "You're still in your jeans. Don't tell me you're going to sleep in that...that can't be comfortable," she breathed, making his head whir.

"Aye, I'll change later," he replied a little too gruffly, one hand unconsciously raking through his hair. Jamie was grateful for the snugness of his jeans, hiding the torturous throb of his cock, that seem to be in a full protest mode, begging to be freed. He stirred the conversation to a safer subject. "I wish I had more comfortable furniture in the house...maybe ye could help me once the house is completely done."

"Jamie, don't worry about it. Making a house a home takes time. Besides, it's a charming set up for cuddles and talks."

"Aye, that's the plan." God help him, he wanted to take it slow, but here they were in an empty house with a girl he loved almost all his life. She was so trusting, provocative with a side of cute, and her mouth was poised for a kiss. He knew if he succumbed to that kiss, he wouldn't be able to stop this time around. The plan was to spend the evening talking, and he was determined to see it through. Reluctantly, he eased her back away from him with a kiss on the nose. "Let's get ye under the covers, shall we?" he suggested in a low voice.

She nodded with a small smile, a slight frown puckering at her brows. "Alright, then." Turning away from him, she lowered herself onto the mattress, and instead of going under the blankets, she sat cross-legged, hugging a pillow close to her chest.

Jamie followed suit, lying on his side to face her, propping his head on one big hand with elbows braced on the pillow. He badly wanted to have her in his arms, but he knew if he so much as touch her, there would be no talking done. "Ye ken it's tearing my guts out to leave ye behind...ye only need to say the word, and I'll stay," he started.

Claire's head bobbed down as she tugged at the corner of the pillow, contemplating her response. When she finally looked up, she had a cloudy look on her face. "If you don't go, Jamie, you'll never forgive yourself, and if I told you to stay, one day you will resent me for it if ever the worse happens. And we have to remind ourselves, there's also a possibility you could become a father..." she said ever so quietly that he had to strain his ears to hear her.

He was distracted by the tension forming in her shoulders, but he refrained from reaching out. "And if I was the father, would that change anything between us?" Jamie studied her expression and tried to be quiet about letting go of the breath he'd been holding.

"I can't answer that, Jamie. I honestly don't know how I would feel. This...us...it's all new to me...and I'm just coming to grips with this whole transition of our relationship from what we were then to what we are now. I'm still trying to digest the fact that ma and da are alright with this...meaning us."

Jamie straightened and became aware of a dull ache ticking at his cheek. "Sassenach, do ye doubt our love for one another?" God, he was so in love with her, he wanted to bang his head on the floorboard.

Her eyes widened, seemingly shocked at the question. "Oh God no, not at all. I don't doubt the love between us. It's always been there, and always will be no matter what happens. We've had that since we were kids and that doesn't simply go away. But we can't deny that there's a possibility...that us...what we have now, our relationship...it might not work. And if that happens, I still want you in my life. You're too important to me, and it would devastate me if I lost you," she murmured, now tugging at the hem of Jamie's t-shirt that she was wearing.

"Ye'll never ever lose me, Sassenach. And why even go there...what makes ye think our relationship won't work? Because if it's about Annalise that ye're worried about, I will stay." He could feel an ooze of panic seeping out of his heart. _Christ, where is this conversation leading to?_

"No.No. It's not Annalise." She sighed, taking a deep breath. "Did you know that, on my way back home on the train, all I could think of was Frank? I thought I was in love with him and then..." Jamie flinched at the mention of Frank.

"And then I kissed ye..." he said softly.

"Well, there's that among other things." She paused, unsure of what to say next. "Jesus Christ, damn it, sometimes I wish I had previous relationships to compare this...us to. It's so bloody confusing that I can hardly form a sentence that would do justice to what I actually want to say. What if...the bond we have is merely sibling love, and we're both mixing it up..." 

"Hold on a minute and stop right there, Sassenach..." Jamie was more confused than ever as a multitude of thoughts bounced within the walls of his brain.

Without warning, Claire got up and grabbed her whisky. "No, Jamie, I won't stop. You brought me here to talk, right? So we're going to talk. I'm confused because...because... you're giving me mixed signals..."

"Wh-what mixed signals? What do ye mean by that?" He watched her walked towards the fireplace and downed her whisky, an audible swallow coming from her throat.

Claire shook her head, staring into the fire. "When you first kissed me...it was very nice. No...it was more than nice. It was mind-blowing. I felt things...you know...I've never felt before," she stammered, trying to catch her breath. "And I wanted more, and every time I wanted more, you always pulled away. So it got me thinking, maybe you're confused about your love for me. And here I thought...when two people are in love, they can't keep their hands away from one another. Well...I can only go along with all those film romance I've watched. Maybe...just maybe, you're the one who's confused about us. I mean, I get it, really. I experienced first hand how I mistook my childhood infatuation for Frank for love and boom, just like that, suddenly all those years of thinking I loved him, was nothing but an illusion. Perhaps it was a disguise to what I actually felt about you because I always thought it would be unethical to fall in love with a foster brother. So I understand if that's what you're actually feeling and the kiss we had just confused you into thinking you were in love with me. That's the reason why you want to talk, right?" By now, she was babbling, still resisting to look at Jamie.

He stared at her with stunned disbelief. Here he was trying to do the right thing by taking it slow lest he scared her, and she thought he was pushing her away. He sighed, a load lifting off from his shoulders. After Claire's statement, he knew, there was no chance of getting his pulse to simmer down now. Getting up from the mattress, he walked to where she was stood and from behind, he reached out to take the glass from her hand and placed it on the mantelpiece. Claire stood still, not saying a word. He sensed she was trying her hardest to suppress the tears threatening to fall.

Dipping his head, Jamie grazed his lips against the side of her neck, resisting the urge to touch her. "Ye have nae idea, Sassenach, have ye?" he murmured close to her ears, his heart slamming against his chest. "Ye have nae idea how much it pained me not to touch ye the way I want to. Though I am less than impressed with what's going on through that pretty head of yers, I am rendered speechless by yer explanation of my actions." He leaned in closer, burying his face on the curve of her neck. "Now, what I am about to do is open to yer interpretation. And I look forward to hearing yer accounts of my efforts."

Claire spun around bringing their faces inches from each other, his one hand pressed against the edge of the mantelpiece, as he drifted towards her. She blinked like a madwoman, trying to read his eyes. "What are you trying to say?" she croaked.

Without warning, his mouth brushed against hers in agonising slowness. He wasn't rushed as he stared directly into Claire's widening honey coloured eyes, merely breathing against her lips, their warm breaths mingling. "I think we're done talking, for now, Sassenach. May I touch ye?" he asked hoarsely, his eyes dropping to her heaving breast.

..........

_Holy Christ in cheese and crackers!_

Nodding shakily, Claire cleared her throat to speak, but no words formed her lips. She lifted her head and saw eyes she'd never seen before. There was no longer a trace of the sweet Jamie she knew and in place was a man in severe need, the pain of sexual frustration etched across his face. He brushed his lips once more against hers, his breath tasting of whisky, and male while looking at her with erotically focused eyes. 

Jamie's hand hesitantly went under the hem of her shirt, and when she didn't object, his fingertips slid slowly to the side of her hips, tucking a blunt digit under the thin strip of her lace panties. Holding his breath, his hands stilled as if in anticipation. She almost cried as the movement ceased and his mouth continued to hover over hers, denying her of kisses. "I can stop right now, Sassenach," he rasped, his breath turning more shallow by the second. "Just say the word. But once I touch ye again, I dinna ken if I'll be able to stop."

Hearing a touch of a moan in his low expulsion of air, a delicious shiver coursed through her. Before the cogs of her brain could begin to function again, which seemed to be stuck in suspended animation, she placed both her hands on his chest. "Jamie, please make love to me." Her words seemed to ring out in the room, surprising herself.

Silence hung heavy between them as she watched Jamie's throat work as he swallowed. "Are ye sure, Sassenach? I don't want ye to have any regrets."

She touched her parted lips against his neck, extracting a guttural exhale from his throat. "There will be no regrets, and I will not change my mind," she said. To prove her point, she slowly took off her top, allowing them to fall on the floor and dipped her fingertips to the waistband of his jeans to pull him towards her.

Jamie's breath hitched, and she looked up to see his face. His eyes were closed as he swallowed convulsively. She was so surprised she could evoke this sort of reaction from him. When he finally opened his eyes, he stared down at her momentarily, his darkened blue resting on her naked breasts. "Christ Sassenach, I still can't believe that ye have absolutely no idea how beautiful ye truly are."

The reverence in his voice brought tears to her eyes. For as long as she could remember, it was always Jamie that reminded her she was beautiful. Memories of taunts and rejections faded into obscurity as her love poured out for the only person that mattered. Suddenly feeling conscious of her nakedness, she smiled shyly as she reached out to touch him. Muscles rippled beneath her fingertips as she smoothed her hands over his broad shoulders, his arms and sculpted chest. Elevating her feet onto her tiptoes, she kissed him, slipping her tongue into his warm mouth to stroke his. "And you taste of whisky," she said huskily, against his lips.

With a groan, Jamie took over, moulding one his hands on the back of her head, angling it for a deep kiss as his other free hand held her lower back against his arousal. He dragged his mouth along the underside of her chin, pressing a trail of hot kisses before stopping to playfully to nip at the side of her neck. When she moaned, he unexpectedly lifted her into his arms, making her squeak in surprise. "Time for bed," Jamie teased, the corner of his eyes crinkling. Although there was humour in his voice, there was raw hunger too evident in his expression. 

After easing her gently on the middle of the mattress, Claire watched through hooded eyes as Jamie stripped naked, before prowling toward her like a sleek animal about to devour his prey. Slowly he stripped off her panties, exposing her only for a second before his tongue teased her wet folds with a lick, before moving upward, leaving trails of kisses on its path. Her mouth went dry as she stared at his jutting cock. _Good Lord!_ Expecting him to go on top of her, she was surprised when Jamie laid on his side, his arousal pressing against her thigh.

"Are ye alright, Sassenach?" he asked gently, his free hand pushing away a strand of hair away from her face. She could only nod and smile, feeling shy with the newly discovered intimacy.

Before she could guess his next move, he slipped a hand down ever so slowly between her legs to gently part them, eliciting a gasp to escape her lips. "Jamie...what are..."

Smothering her next words, he lowered his head to kiss her, his tongue stroking her lips while his fingers caressed the insides of her thighs with long gentle sweeps, making Claire whimper. "Oh God, ye're so wet, Sassenach..." he muttered under his breath, before running his mouth down to her breast to suckle a nipple.

A hard shudder went through Claire's body, making her gasp involuntarily. Encouraged by his bold moves, she ran her hands behind his back and kissed him back boldly, her hips writhing eagerly with each stroke of his finger. "Jamie, please...I want you on top of me," she breathed as shivers sparked through her, his caresses coaxing impatient movements.

A vibration ran the length of him as Jamie shifted his body, bracing his forearms on either side of her, giving Claire his weight little by little, both of them moaning at the contact. "Ye're so beautiful, Sassenach. I can't believe I'm with ye like this," he gritted, his hips grinding down, pushing the hard length of his cock between her thighs.

Squirming underneath his weight, a throbbing ache started to bloom between her legs, her hips pushing upward for more friction. "Jamie, please..." she begged.

Once more, Jamie slipped a hand between their bodies, and then his fingers were there, delving inside spreading moisture around her opening. He groaned as he surged over her, stopping to give her a hard, bruising kiss. Reaching for the pocket of his jeans, he took a foil packet and ripped it open with his teeth, his hand vanishing between them to cover his erection. "Look at me, Sassenach," Jamie bit out through his teeth. "I want ye to look me in the eye when I take ye."

Whimpering, she could only nod as she watched the sweat beading on his upper lip, her hands moving erratically all over his flexing muscles.

He bent his head to suckle on one of her breasts again, his tongue flicking at her sensitive nipple before positioning himself at the opening of her centre. Taking his cock in hand, he rubbed the throbbing tip around her moisture, moaning out loud as if he was a starving man.

Claire instinctively hiked her legs up high around his waist and pressed his taut arse with her heels as an indication of urgency, while bracing herself from the discomfort that threatened.

"I'm going deeper now," Jamie groaned, pushing his hips forward and letting loose a string of curses over her head. "Oh Christ, Sassenach, ye're so tight...so, so tight." Trembling with the strain of holding himself still, he stared into Claire's eyes. "Are ye alright? Did I hurt ye much?"

The sudden pressure of Jamie's penetration made her eyes water. "Just a little. But don't hold still, keep moving Jamie," she whispered as she shifted her lower body around, raining kisses on his jawline.

He complied, his jaw rigid with great restraint while his hips ploughed of their own volition, his large hands lifting Claire's hips tightly against him, controlling, rolling her with him in a primal rhythm. "Oh my God, Christ, Sassenach...ye feel so good."

The burn between her legs began to ebb as pleasure took hold, Claire moaning deliriously, as tension built within her core aching to be released. Her hands travelled down his muscular back to settle on the swell of his arse, pulling him close.

Grunting, Jamie shifted his hips slightly, angling his body so that part of him rubbed against her sensitive flesh. Staring down at Claire, he pumped his hips harder, his tongue tracing a path across her lips as he breathed heavily, pressure threatening to erupt from his balls. Then he felt her body quaking violently underneath him, her whole being gripping him tightly.

Claire's voice locked down, only allowing a strangled scream to emerge as she arched off the mattress, waves of pleasure engulfing her. Jamie gripped the underside of her knees, grinding her down, faster and faster, Claire watching in fascination, as Jamie found his own release, the cords of his throat stood out, his mouth open and her name on his lips. "Sassenach, Christ..."

Then they were both still, catching their breaths and holding on to each other, her legs still wrapped around his body. For Claire, it was the most incredible moment in her young life as she witnessed Jamie being rocked with tension to being utterly devoid of it. 

Moments later, Jamie lifted his head, searching her eyes as his hands cradled her face. As unspoken thoughts, but understood passed between them, Claire gave an answer to the silent question Jamie sought. "Jamie...I'm completely and irreversibly, totally in love with you," she said hoarsely, her arms wrapping around his waist.

Jamie gave her a brilliant smile, his handsome face lighting up with satisfaction. "Och Sassenach, I'm glad to hear it. It was all worth the effort to pry that answer from ye." Then he collapsed to her side, gathering her into his arms, and they both fell asleep with her head wedged beneath his chin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year guys!
> 
> First of all, thank you for reading this chapter, and I hope you have enjoyed it. And mostly, thank you so much for feedback, love and kudos from my previous post...its something I always look forward to after updating the story.
> 
> Anyway, here's a little confession. I nearly stopped continuing with this story as the hard drive in my computer decided it was a great idea to give up on me on New Year's Eve; hence, the delay in my update. The worst part is, I didn't have any back up for my written work, so it meant I had to re-write this chapter from memory. Personally, I preferred the original writing, but hey sometimes these things happen. I guess I had to learn the hard way when it comes to saving my work.


	9. A Storm of Wishes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously in Cuddles and Talks
> 
> Then they were both still, catching their breaths and holding on to each other, her legs still wrapped around his body. For Claire, it was the most incredible moment in her young life as she witnessed Jamie being rocked with tension to being utterly devoid of it. 
> 
> Moments later, Jamie lifted his head, searching her eyes as his hands cradled her face. As unspoken thoughts, but understood passed between them, Claire gave an answer to the silent question Jamie sought. "Jamie...I'm completely and irreversibly, totally in love with you," she said hoarsely, her arms wrapping around his waist.
> 
> Jamie gave her a brilliant smile, his handsome face lighting up with satisfaction. "Och Sassenach, I'm glad to hear it. It was all worth the effort to pry that answer from ye." Then he collapsed to her side, gathering her into his arms, and they both fell asleep with her head wedged beneath his chin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wishing you all an enjoyable reading! xox

Claire scanned the room, gaze landing on all her boxed belongings in one swoop. On the other side of the living space were Geillis' suitcases. Although it was cold, sunlight streamed through the high Georgian windows, casting a shadow from the eight-panel grid onto the herringbone wooden floor. A flutter of excitement swept through her at the thought of sharing the rented house with Geillis. It was a hasty decision inspired by its proximity to her workplace, _The Fraser Manor Inn,_ and the fact that she and Jamie were together. For her, it would have been weird on so many levels to continue living in Lallybroch, especially when everyone in the village knew she was the Frasers' foster daughter.

Her thoughts were interrupted when Jamie walked in with the last box containing her possessions. Her initial excitement was slightly dampened when the reality of his impending departure hits her in the guts. The last few days had been focused on re-discovering each other, emotionally and physically, resisting to dwell on Annalise's plight. Insensitive as it may have seemed to a neutral observer, Claire eased her guilt by reminding herself, that it was her idea to send Jamie away and that alone was already a selfless act.

She noticed a slight frown marred Jamie's face. Obviously, he was still not convinced with her choice of living away from their family home, mainly because he would be leaving for France the next day. Though she loved the Fraser family, she didn't want to be defined as their fostered orphan. Not that there was anything wrong with being an orphan, but there had been far too many stigmas attached to the word growing up. So it only made sense to have a place of her own, and more so, determined.

It was by chance, the morning after they first made love by the fireplace, Jamie and Claire had stopped by the village coffee shop for breakfast, owned for years by a Mrs Graham. While serving them coffee, she had announced she was looking for new tenants for her three-bedroom Georgian house on the outskirts of the hamlet. Knowing Geillis was looking for a place within walking distance to work and a pub, she made a snap decision, surprising herself and Jamie, by offering herself for the tenancy. After a few phone calls with Geillis and a couple of rounds of coffees, the arrangements were made, despite Jamie kicking up a fuss.

"Weel, this is the last of it, Sassenach," he said, putting down his load on the table. "I dinna ken why ye couldna wait 'til I come back to move. Ye're safer in Lallybroch while I'm away." It was his last attempt to convince her to stay in Lallybroch, but they both knew he was fighting a losing battle. He walked towards her, hitting her with his no-nonsense soap, sweat and mint gum scent, and eyed her suspiciously. "I'm no' sure if ye and Geillis living under the same roof is such a braw idea. She's bound to teach ye something I won't approve of." Pulling her by the waist, he drew her against him and pressed their foreheads together. Everything narrowed down to him, and up close, he studied her, with his soul searching blue.

"So this is what entails having a boyfriend...listening to you grumble and you trying to change my mind by looking at me like that," she whispered, in an amused tone, as she looped her arms around his neck. Four days on and she was still under Jamie's six-pack hypnosis. "Maybe you can enlighten me further what it's going to mean for me having a boyfriend as I have no idea what else to expect."

The last few days of them being together, have flown by in a hazy blur, their days and nights spent making love, having conversations until early hours in the morning and hiding from the world in Jamie's house. It was as if they're making up for the six years they were apart and making memories for the eventual indefinite separation. Claire wanted to hold on to these moments. Life moves fast, and people and opportunities can be snatched away in the space of a heartbeat, just like her parents and uncle Lamb. When happiness presented itself, she didn't want to take it for granted, and she intended to embrace it fully. 

His breath gusting into her neck, he lifted her up in a sudden swift move and carried her to the kitchen. Pushing aside papers and books, he gently set her on the island worktop and edged himself between her legs. "Mmmm...as yer boyfriend, ye can bank on me being overprotective. I want to make sure that ye're safe, so while I'm away I'll be checking up on you...a lot. I would want to know every detail of how ye spent yer day. And when ye're not with me, I will miss ye like hell, and when ye are with me, I will not be able to keep my hands of ye. There will be a lot of kissing and whispering in yer ears...like all sorts of naughty stuff."

"Naughty stuff, huh?" she leaned back to take a better look at him, one eyebrow arched. "What kind of naughty stuff, please do tell. I'm intrigued."

"Do ye really want to know? Ye blush so easily, and Willie and Geillis will be coming through that door any minute now." He pointed a chin toward the doorway. "They will take one look at ye, and they will know, I've been up to no good," he warned, his eyes crinkling in the corners.

"Go on, humour me," Claire cajoled playfully, tugging his hair at the nape of his neck.

Grabbing her buttocks with his large hands, he pressed her closer to him before taking a bite of her earlobe. "I want to fuck you into next Christmas, right now and right here," he said in a low voice against her ears.

Sure enough, red fluttered across Claire's face, choking on the breath she held. "Jamie!" she gasped. "You filth-spewing horny man!"

"I did warn ye, Sassenach. And speaking of filth, ye should hear yersel' while in the throes of passion...you can cuss like a..." he chuckled as he tried to avoid the onslaught of Claire's slaps.

Claire suddenly leaned forward for a kiss, stifling whatever next words he was about to say, making him laugh all the more against her lips. The way Jamie talked was turning her on like The Blackpool Illumination, and there was still much to be done in their rented house. "Alright, that's enough filth for one day," she stated vehemently, fanning her red cheeks with both hands, before pushing him away.

"Hang on a minute, we're not done here yet!" Jamie grabbed both her wrists before she could jump off the island worktop. "Ye haven't said anything yet... what is it going to mean to mean for me?" he asked between soft bites of her neck. "Having a girlfriend."

 _Damn those lips._ "Mmmm, it's quite simple really, Jamie me' lad," she whispered, mimicking his accent, unable to subdue a smile as Jamie caught her lower lip between his teeth. "It means this lass wishes ye to love her forever."

"It's a given, Sassenach," he muttered hoarsely against her neck, as his one hand reached for his back pocket.

Before Claire knew what was happening, Jamie raised his phone and snapped a photo of them, Claire looking dead straight into the camera while Jamie's lips were planted on her cheeks.

...........

Jamie and Willie drove in silence to the airport, preoccupied with their own thoughts. Usually, the two brothers would have had plenty to discuss like having a friendly argument about the latest game of Rugby Union or the football results on the Scottish Premiership. Or maybe the menu plans for the upcoming re-opening of _The Fraser Manor Inn_. However, this morning was different. There was a strain in the air even if nothing was spoken between them. And Jamie was fairly sure, he might have an idea the reason behind Willie's silent treatment.

Earlier, after saying goodbye to Claire and urging her to go back to sleep, he hastily sent a message to Annalise to let her know he was on his way. _Be there soon,_ Jamie wrote. Re-reading it on their way to the airport, it looked impersonal compared to her reply, letting him know how relieved she was that he was coming, and how much she had missed him. He felt like a cad. This was his ex-girlfriend who was terminally ill for Christ sake.

It had been him who broke up their relationship when he found out Claire was coming back to Lallybroch to stay for good. Though he felt guilty, he knew it was the right thing as his heart was never into Annalise. It had always been Claire. His Claire.

When they eventually reached the airport, Jamie remained in his seat, trying to string sentences he wished to say to his brother. He didn't want to leave knowing there was an unspoken tension between them, and he wasn't even sure if the strain had anything to do with Claire. Maybe he was misreading him, he thought. "Keep an eye on Claire for me will ye," Jamie finally said.

Willie cleared his throat, his tight smile clearly meant to reassure. "That goes without saying, lad."

Jamie knew there was this mammoth elephant in the room, and he wanted it off his chest. They haven't really spoken like they used to since Claire's revelation of their relationship in front of the family. "I heard yer conversation with Claire that night on the steps." Jamie looked at Willie, who acknowledged him with a nod that he knew what was meant. "I have nothing to be worried about have I, while I'm away?"

His brother's head snapped in his direction, the meaning of Jamie's question not lost on him. "What do ye take me for?"

"Just laying out the cards on the table, so we're both clear..."

Willie let out a big sigh, and Jamie wasn't sure if it was a sign of resignation or annoyance. "I'll watch over Claire, Jamie. Ye can rest assured I have her best interest at heart but mind ye, if she's hurt, I'll be there for her. And I don't need yer permission for that."

"Since when did ye care about what she feels?"

"I've always cared about her..."

"For fuck sake, Willie, ye ken fine what I meant..." Jamie interrupted impatiently, sucking in deep breaths to curb his exasperation.

Shaking his head, Willie gave him a pained laugh. "Ever since her first year away from home. I visited her in Switzerland while she was in school," he revealed.

Jamie was dumbfounded. _That long?_ Of course, he knew Willie visited Claire when he was working in Italy. He wasn't that far from her school. In fact, they were literally across the border from one another, about an hour and a half train ride away. Jamie hadn't given it much thought as he had put down his brother's visitation as an excuse to ski and Claire lived in a village of a ski resort. "I never knew..."

"What was there to know...there was nothing. Claire missed ye, ye know. Why didn't ye visit her?" Willie's eyebrows lifted when Jamie didn't answer immediately.

"Ah...I thought she had this thing for Frank. Ye must have known I have always been in love with her and ye cannae judge me for staying away. But we talked a lot over the years, and if I had an inkling back then what she truly felt for me, my days off would have been spent in Switzerland...and there would have been no Annalise in my life," Jamie answered, feeling a sudden twinge of guilt at the mention of his ex-girlfriend's name. He couldn't even remember how he came to be with Annalise as he made a mental futile attempt to search his memories for answers.

"She has a drinking problem, Jamie. Did ye know that?" Willie confessed out of the blue, taking Jamie by surprise.

"Drinking problem? What do ye mean she has a drinking problem?" _Christ...more revelations._ _Why is he telling me this now when I'm about to leave for France in an hour? Was there something I missed over the last six years?_

"I'm not sure, but I intend to find out. Call it a hunch or whatever. I've caught Claire twice downing a shot of two from the drinks' cabinet quite early in the day. She might be a master in pretending she is fine, but she doesn't fool me. She's a terrible liar." Willie paused, swallowing hard before resuming. "I might be wrong, but I think she drinks to cope."

"Cope??" Jamie looked at his watch, and he knew he was running late. "Christ Willie...it's probably nothing. We're young, and it's normal. Almost every one our age drink excessively. It will soon peter out," Jamie explained, trying to sound unfazed, but why does he have a feeling there was more to what Willie was saying. And why does the image of Claire sneaking a drink, on the night before they went for Italian dinner on their "threesome dates," suddenly seem so vivid?

Sensing the conflict in Jamie, Willie softened his tone. "Go now, Jamie. Ye have a plane to catch. I promise to look out for Claire, and I promise I only have honourable intentions towards her. Ye're my brother, first and foremost and I have no plans jeopardising our relationship...unless ye start supporting the Rangers Football Team," he joked, to lighten the mood before continuing in a more serious note. "Sort out what ye need to sort out in France as quickly as possible and come back. I need ye in the kitchen for the re-opening. I'll keep ye posted on Claire, OK?"

After a minute of contemplation, Jamie turned to Willie and nodded. "Aye, I will be back as soon as I can." 

Before Jamie could get out of the car, Willie pulled him into a hug before their arms descended into a macho back slapping. "Take care, wee brother," he whispered gruffly. "Come back soon."

..........

Jamie was surprised to find out that he still had the keys to Annalise's apartment. She reminded him when he called to inform her of his flight details over the phone. Their split had been so amicable, that she had probably forgotten to ask for her keys back. In a way, it was a relief for Jamie that he could let himself into her home, being uncertain if Annalise was too ill to open the door when he arrived. Apprehensive of what to expect when he finally sees his ex, he had been racking his brains on the way from the airport, what awaited him and what it would mean if the baby she was carrying was his. Jamie was sure he had always been careful when it came to his past relationships, and it troubled him that Claire had to find out the predicament he was in, so early in their relationship.

He shut his eyes and took a deep breath before he slipped the key to Annalise's door and pushed it open. He hadn't bothered knocking as he knew he was expected.

"Annalise...it's me..." he said softly, in case she had fallen asleep. Although it was only late afternoon, he knew from stories he heard of cancer patients, they tend to tire quickly. So he was surprised when the voice that answered him back sounded lucid and clear.

"Jamie, in here," she replied. The sound came from the living room. Knowing his way in, he left his travelling bag by the doorway and made his way through, a sense of familiarity engulfing him. It wasn't too long ago when he would spend nights here after working late instead of going to his own apartment.

He found her sat on an armchair next to the French balcony window, and her seat was facing the sun. She stood up as soon as he walked in and he was shocked to see her mane of blonde hair gone, and its place was a faint fuzz visible only in the sunlight. It seemed she lost a bit of weight, but otherwise, Annalise looked strong and healthy. Without hesitation, she went to him, her arms encircling his waist as she laid her head on his chest. " _Dieu merci!_ I'm so grateful you could come," she whispered against him.

Finding the embrace too intimate, Jamie pulled away too abruptly but held her by the shoulders. "Christ Annalise, yer beautiful hair..."

"I know," she replied casually before turning away from him to sit. "It's the side effects of chemotherapy."

"Chemotherapy??" Jamie's eyes wandered down to her belly, and he could see there was a small bump. "Isn't chemo harmful to the baby?"

"It is harmful to the fetus, Jamie, especially during the first trimester. That is why the doctors waited until I was in my second trimester before administering the chemo drug, which should be safe enough at this stage. God willing, and hopefully, the baby will make it to 38th week, when it is deemed safe for it to be born," she explained calmly, revealing a flicker of fear in her eyes and then it was gone before he could blink.

Jamie ran one hand up and down his face, trying to absorb what Annalise was telling him. He pulled out a seat from the dining area and sat. "And how about the..." He wanted to say her one-night stand but thought it was highly inappropriate. "...the other guy, where is he?"

"Oh, yes...the other guy..." she started, looking embarrassed. "Some random guy I met in the bar and...oh God, oh God, I don't even know his name. It just happened...and we had plenty to drink." She shut her eyes and inhaled deeply before continuing. "I'm so sorry, Jamie, for all this. You're the only person I have now, and I have no one..." When Jamie remained silent, she continued. "And I'm grateful to your sister for setting up a crowdfunding page for me. She tagged you on Facebook so that I could see it."

"My sister? Jenny?"

"No. It was Claire. I've added her as a friend, so I could thank her. You talked about her a lot when we were together, and you were right...she is special," she recalled, a soft smile forming her lips.

"But she's not my..."

"Wait, let me finish," she interrupted. "I truly appreciate Claire's efforts, but they don't matter anymore. I am dying, Jamie and I'm hoping to hold on until the baby is born. I reached out to you because there is a possibility...a possibility the baby could be yours, even if that possibility is minuscule. I only have two wishes before I go."

Jamie straightened up from his chair, bracing himself for whatever was coming next. He tried to relax, but there was an uncomfortable tug in his chest, so he nodded instead, signalling her to resume.

"You don't have to fulfil those wishes, Jamie," she said quietly, sensing his discomfort. "I might not be the love of your life, but you are a good man. I sensed that when we were together. And you have great family support...I recognised that from all the stories you've told me. My first wish is...I don't want this baby to go to an orphanage. Whether the baby is yours or not, if you wish to raise it or not, can you please make sure the baby goes to a loving family. I don't want my baby to go through what I went through as an orphan. I wish a loving family for my baby. Call it my parting gift for my unborn child...it's the least I could do."

Jamie understood what Annalise was saying. Like Claire, Annalise was orphaned at a very young age. She had spoken very little of her adoptive parents, and the only explanation she offered was that they were abusive to her while living with them. As soon as she was old enough to fend for herself, she left her childhood home, never to return nor make contact again.

"I will see what I could do," he responded, trying to decipher her expressions. It had always been hard to read Annalise. It seemed she wore that same mask of calmness no matter what fate threw at her. Unlike Claire, who was an open book; pain, love, joy, dread - whatever she was feeling, it was there for him to see. Jamie wished he could tear away that mask, even for a flitting moment, so he could see what Annalise was thinking. "And what's yer other wish?"

She gazed out the window before turning to face him, blue eyes on blue. "Jamie, I don't have a year to live, and I will never know what it's like to have a family. I mean... a proper, loving family. I will never have that," she explained, and for the first time, her eyes started to fill with tears. "For the short period that I have left, I want to be a wife and know what it's like to be married. So, Jamie Fraser, for my second wish...I want to ask you...will you be my husband, until death takes hold of me? I don't want to die alone."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you've enjoyed this chapter.
> 
> Thank you for reading, commenting and for all the love and kudos. You'll be happy to know, all my work are now saved in Google Docs.


	10. Friend Request

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously in A Storm of Wishes
> 
> "I will see what I could do," he responded, trying to decipher her expressions. It had always been hard to read Annalise. It seemed she wore that same mask of calmness no matter what fate threw at her. Unlike Claire, who was an open book; pain, love, joy, dread - whatever she was feeling, it was there for him to see. Jamie wished he could tear away that mask, even for a flitting moment, so he could see what Annalise was thinking. "And what's yer other wish?"
> 
> She gazed out the window before turning to face him, blue eyes on blue. "Jamie, I don't have a year to live, and I will never know what it's like to have a family. I mean... a proper, loving family. I will never have that," she explained, and for the first time, her eyes started to fill with tears. "For the short period that I have left, I want to be a wife and know what it's like to be married. So, Jamie Fraser, for my second wish...I want to ask you...will you be my husband, until death takes hold of me? I don't want to die alone."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your feedback in the previous chapter. Wishing you happy reading in this one.
> 
> ****************************************************  
> WARNING: EXPLICIT SEXUAL & LANGUAGE CONTENT  
> ****************************************************

Willie glanced at his watch. It had been a hectic morning at _The Fraser Manor Inn_ kitchen waiting for the arrival of the new kitchen appliances and making sure they were all according to order specifications. With the job done and with two hours to spare, he had time to install fixtures and fittings for Claire and Geillis in their newly rented house before heading back to Lallybroch to take his mother shopping. Instead of using the car, Willie jogged to the girls' residence. It was a brisk run as it was only fifteen minutes walk away.

He was about to knock on the door when something caught his periphery. _What the...?_ Turning sideways, he saw Claire lying very still on her front on a patch of grass, head tilted and shoulders bunched. He wanted to say something to grab her attention and asked what the hell she was doing, but something made him stop. iPhone held with both hands, she was poised to take a picture. Biting her lower lip in concentration, a thumb hovered on the screen button ready to tap. Combing the vicinity for the object of her inspiration, his gaze landed on an immobile grey cat looking directly at her with alert eyes, already prepared to pounce or to scamper away at the slightest movement. Seemingly entranced with Claire's soft voice, the feral animal tipped and dipped its head at the sound she was making.

"Here's a good kitty...that's it, sweety, keep looking this way. I have a dish of milk waiting for you," she hummed softly.

Willie held his breath, mentally urging her to capture the perfect shot. A few heartbeats went past, but the opportunity went flying out the window, when the ping sound of her phone spooked the cat, causing it to scurry into the fields. Still unaware he was stood there, Claire groaned loudly, letting her head fall on the ground in frustration for a few seconds. When she finally raised her head to look at her phone screen, Willie saw her body stiffen, and her hands shook.

Alarmed, he immediately went to her. "Hey Claire, ye alright?"

Startled, Claire's head spun in Willie's direction, hurriedly scrambling into sitting position and composing her face. "Oh...hey. I was taking a daft photo," she explained feebly, her cheeks flaming bright pink. "I didn't hear you coming. Where did you come from?"

"I jogged from the hotel. Ye were so engrossed with what ye were doing, I didn't want to interrupt." Willie kneeled down, concern carved on his face. He could see her knuckles were white from clutching her mobile. "What's this?" He pried the phone off her hand with little resistance as it renewed its consecutive pinging sounds. His face went white as he looked down on the device's screen and read the vile messages. There was no avoiding it. "Jesus, Claire, who is sending ye these? And who is Lee Dee?"

Claire brushed off Willie's sharp question, refusing to look at him. "I don't know...I keep blocking them on Facebook, but they keep coming back with different names," she whispered hoarsely. She visibly shook herself, smoothing away the grass and damp from her jeans and summoning a smile. "C'mon, let's go inside, it's cold. It's probably just some sick person who has nothing better to do. Let's forget about it, ok?" She tried to grab her phone back from Willie's hand, but he held it away from her.

Not bothering to ask her permission, Willie continued to swipe up the phone screen to reveal more sickening and shocking lines. "Hell, no, Claire. This is serious. How long has this been going on?" he asked in a low voice, a line forming between his eyebrows.

She shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant. "Four or five months, give or take."

"For fuck sake, Claire, that long? Does Jamie know?" Willie dragged down a hand on his face, trying to comprehend why anyone would send such messages to her.

"No!" The word emerged as a shout, laced in annoyance. "It's not important. Willie, please, just forget about it. Don't make a mountain out of a mole. Jamie's plate is overcrowded as it is, and the last thing he needs is worrying about something as silly as random stupid messages from the internet. I can handle this on my own. I'm an adult now in case you've forgotten...and you...you can stop acting like I need protection." She knew he wouldn't listen to reason, so she continued firmly. "I don't want to make a big deal out of it. So, drop it."

It was difficult for him to believe her when he could see flickers of pain in her eyes. He wanted to take her into his arms and hold her there, but in doing so, he would be allowing himself to feel more than he should. _This is Jamie's girl,_ reminding himself, and Jamie had asked him to look out for her. Respecting that wish was something Willie didn't take lightly, and it was a responsibility he took seriously. With incredible will power, he quickly kissed her on the forehead, instead of giving her the usual brotherly hug, and turned towards the entrance door. "Aye, ye're probably right. It's probably nothing. Let's go inside then and put up those new curtain rails."

Appeased, Claire let them into the house with Willie close behind. Once inside, he watched her make a beeline to the kitchen cupboard, and with shaking hands, she retrieved two tumblers and poured a generous measure of whisky in each glass. It was then and there he realised her drinking could have something to do with the messages she had been receiving.

..........

Lying on the bed, Jamie stared at the ceiling of his hotel room. The plan had been to track down Annalise's adoptive family, but she was so _damn_ elusive of their whereabouts, he had no choice but to drop the subject and the idea of attempting to find them. He knew she had severed their ties because of her abusive past suffered in their hands, but surely there must be somebody else in her life who cares about her. _Friends? Long distant relatives? Acquaintances? Where are they? She couldn't have lived all her life not having anyone._

His mind drifted back to four days ago to their initial conversation. _So, Jamie Fraser, for my second wish...I want to ask you...will you be my husband, until death takes hold of me? I don't want to die alone._ Of all the things he thought Annalise would ask of him, he had definitely not foreseen that. Speechless and unsure how to proceed, all he could do was bury his face in his hands, giving himself time to formulate his next words...or action. It didn't help that his attention was divided continuously by his constant thoughts of Claire. There was no help. He wanted her so badly, in all sorts of ways that it made him ache all over. _Christ, I miss her._

Mistaking his silence as contemplation, Annalise had walked over to him, reaching out to lay his head on her burgeoning belly.

Her touch had made him jump with a start. "No Annalise...no." His abruptness had startled both of them, but he was determined to keep her at arm's length. He didn't want to hurt her feelings, especially not in her condition. Studying her as he grappled for the right words, he thought he saw a flash of anger in her eyes. Or was it jealousy? Before he could read more into it, that _damn_ mask was back on again. "Christ, Annalise...I'm truly sorry. Bloody hell, ye're dying, but I cannae grant ye this." He paused, releasing his pent up breaths. "No. I am here to help ye, but that is one wish I can't deliver. No, I cannae marry ye. I have someone... a-and I love her."

As expected, she had retreated back to her seat and to that impregnable veil, only shaking her head in response, maybe as a self-reproof for her own forwardness or embarrassment for being denied. "Of course..oh God. How could I ask you for such a thing? No... please don't be sorry. It's me who should be apologising. What was I thinking?" she sputtered, managing a self-conscious laugh at herself. "I had to ask because I'm desperate, it was the only way. I've never minded being on my own, but the idea of dying with no one in my life to speak of is terrifying. But I have to be content with the knowledge you'll make sure my baby will go to a loving home."

Looking at Annalise sat on the single armchair that seemed to swallow her, she had looked fragile, small, and so lost. She lived in a city that never sleeps, and it's thronged with people, jostling and going about their business without a care, and every day, she viewed the street below, like watching life go by in her absence from a fishbowl. Suddenly the small apartment had seemed suffocating, and Jamie knew he couldn't stay. He needed to get out of there to think clearly. Despite the silent plea in her eyes begging him to stay, he didn't, but he promised he would come back.

Came back, he did. They talked as he poured over papers upon papers of printed doctors' diagnosis and examinations that Annalise handed to him. It may as well had been written in Chinese as Jamie's thoughts bounced to and fro, her words going in one ear and out the other, and the medical documents were nothing but a blur. Nothing was registering when his mind kept wandering to Claire and the dialogue he had with his brother. _Claire has a drinking problem._

Although trust had been verbally established between them, he didn't want to give her any reasons to doubt; hence, he had checked himself into a hotel and regularly updated Claire with news, omitting the part on Annalise's final wish. And after Willie's admission of his deep-seated fondness for Claire, he didn't want anyone thinking that she was available for dates especially now that her arrival back in Lallybroch had piqued interest. Thus, he had posted the picture he took of them on Facebook, tagging her and updating his status, _in a relationship_. She wasn't impressed as she was never one to post a photo of herself on any social media platforms, but she gave in eventually, knowing his counterargument would be unreasonable. Now that it's out there loud and clear, there should be no more misunderstanding.

Jamie held no illusions that his mere presence by Annalise would solve everything, nor was he arrogant enough to believe that every second of the five days he had spent with Claire, would guarantee a _happily ever after._ The crack of jagged daylight on Claire's wall was just beginning to show, and no longer did she have that worry in her eyes that their relationship would be met with disapproval. The deeply etched line between the two of them had been brushed away... for now, and he intended to continue to break that crack of light wide open.

He had made up his mind. Jamie was taking Annalise to Lallybroch with him, and that decision was based on selfish reasons. He missed Claire. Jamie needed her now. Even before Willie had confessed Claire's possible drinking problem, he already knew she was still fighting a lot of insecurities. How often, over the years, had he seen Claire vibrating with suppressed emotions? The thought made everything masculine inside him react. A bolt of heat had hit its mark, spreading throughout his loins. He was aching for her desperately if the outrageously full erection was any indication. _She's mine to fix, and she's mine to balance. Love provides that balance._

With shaking hands, he reached out for his iPhone on the bedside table and facetime Claire. She answered on the first ring, draped in a bathrobe, a mug of tea poised at her lips. He could see she was in her bedroom. "Jaime!"

"Sassenach..." His voice sounded hoarse to his ears _. Christ, she's beautiful...Sorcha._ "What are ye doing? Are ye alone in the house?"

"Umm, Willie and Geillis are in the kitchen. Willie stopped by for dinner earlier. It was the least we could do for him after he did a few jobs for us around the house. I've excused myself, and I was just about to read a book." Claire disappeared from the screen as she twisted to her side to set the mug by the bedside table. "Are you alright, Jamie? You have that funny look on your face." She paused for a few seconds. "Uh-oh, I know that look."

"Lock yer door, Sassenach."

Claire didn't need telling twice as if she could read his mind and quickly scrambled from the bed. When she came back on the screen, excitement flashed in her eyes. "Now what?" she whispered, in anticipation.

"Take off yer robe. I want to see all yer naked body," Jaime demanded in a thick voice, as he slid down his sweatpants and boxer shorts, and wrapped his hand around his cock. "I want to see ye touch yersel'. I want to watch ye."

"Oh!" A heartbeat passed." Are you touching yourself?" she asked, her voice cracking and eyes doubling in size. Without waiting for him to answer, she went out of focus while she set her phone upon a stack of cushions, fussing and fiddling to place it at a right angle. He could almost see her blushing and smell her scent when he shut his eyes, envisioning her before him.

"Aye, I've been thinking of ye the whole day, and it's given me a painful cock-stand. I need ye so badly...please let me watch ye, Sassenach." His fist squeezed up and down his erection as he watched Claire sank back against a pile of pillows and slowly unknotted the tie to her bathrobe.

"Jamie, I've never done this before..." She looked painfully shy but at the same time, so damn sexy. He swallowed hard as his eyes focused on her hands, parting her bathrobe, ever slowly, revealing inch by inch the smooth white skin. _So beautiful, my lass, love, love her._

"Christ, ye're the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on...look at what ye do to me. The thought of ye makes me so hard and seeing ye like that in bed is enough to drive me crazy," he rasped, tightening his hold on his aching throb. "Touch yersel', Sassenach, and pretend it's my hands touching ye."

The need in his voice must have coaxed her to slipped off her panties, her glazed eyes boring into him. Her chest and cheeks were flushed, and her tits were larger than usual. _She must be having her period soon,_ he thought 

Her head fell backwards, shaking hands sliding up her stomach to cup her swollen breasts. As fingers rubbed over her nipples, her breath caught in her throat. "Oh God, Jamie..."

"I got ye Sassenach, I see ye...fuck, ye're so gorgeous," he gritted, his hand moving faster along his length. "Think of me sucking those beautiful tits."

The sound of his shallow breathing and the hitch of his breath encouraged her more. Staring into the screen on the phone, she spread her legs apart, his darkening eyes following every movement of her hands. She slid one hand down her stomach and dipped closer between her thighs. Slipping her fingers between the folds of her mound, she thrust them into her centre. "Oh, God, yes..." She moaned as she swiped the moisture from her sex, rubbing her finger over her sensitive spot.

"Look at me Sassenach...keep looking at me. I love ye, ye understand," His accent was becoming thicker by every word as he watched her finger movement grow erratic, his own hips rocking hard beneath the motion of his hands. "I love every fucking inch of ye. There's only been ye...ye hear me. Ye're mine. Mine. Say it."

"I'm yours, Jamie...always," she sobbed, working her finger in a circle between her thighs. "Oh, God, oh, God...Jamie..." Claire's gaze stayed on his, her eyelids weighed down with lust. "I'm nearly there..." Panting, she reached and pinched her nipple, her fingers repeatedly rubbing between her wet folds. 

"So beautiful...so beautiful. Aye, that's it, don't stop. I'm with ye...love ye so much. So sweet..." Her body arched and convulsed in response, as his head buzzed and spun with urgency. "Jesus, Jesus Christ," Jamie gritted out, his own body racked with shudders, as his release came shooting out his hand, gripping him with near-paralysing bliss.

They both went silent as they allowed the waves of pleasure to subside, content to simply be and gaze at each other. As Claire curled up to hug a pillow, Jamie made a move to get up from his bed. "How are ye feeling?"

She nodded and smiled. "Sleepy..."

"Don't switch off the phone yet. I want to watch ye sleep. I'll be in the bathroom to clean mysel'" Jamie whispered, his chest expanding with love as he watched her body relax and her eyes strived to remain open.

"Good night, Jamie," she mumbled, pulling the covers over her shoulder and placing the phone next to her.

"Sassenach? I have something to tell ye...before you go to sleep."

"Mmm?"

"I'm coming home in two days."

Her eyes fluttered open for a few seconds, but he knew she was too tired to ask questions. It was just as well as he didn't feel like talking about Annalise after what they just shared. "I can't wait..." were her last words before Claire nodded to sleep.

..........

By the time Willie reached Lallybroch, his parents were already asleep. He wanted to speak to Claire before leaving her, but he heard her bedroom locking as he was about to knock. Sitting alone, by the fire, in the family room, he took out his phone and read the message from Jamie letting him know he was coming home with Annalise. 

Having never met Jamie's ex-girlfriend, he decided to reserve his judgement when he meets her. There were other pressing matters that concerned him as he browsed through his picture gallery. Earlier, Willie made a few screenshots of the messages Claire received on Facebook and had it sent to his own phone. The date on one particular message disturbed him as it was sent way before Claire arrived Lallybroch and before she and Jamie became a couple.

> _You fucking whore, do you know it's incest to sleep with your brother? You're nothing but an ugly cunt._

He browsed through Claire's Facebook profile, knowing already she never posted a picture of herself. The images she posted were more of a hobby photography kind. There was only one photo of herself which Jamie posted and tagged her in, and this was from a few days ago. Swiping up further, he searched for a post nearer to the date when the vile messages started landing in Claire's inbox. They began on the day when she announced on Facebook she was coming home to Lallybroch to stay for good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, sorry for scaring the pants off you lot in the previous chapter. No, actually I'm not sorry. Come on guys, where's your fate in our lad Jamie? 😃 Kidding aside, I hope you've enjoyed this chapter and from the bottom of my heart, thank you all for your messages, love and kudos. Quite often, your feedback does shape some chapter. So once again thank you!😃❤️
> 
> So, if you have a moment, I would like to know what your favourite chapter is so far. I'm alreadY guessing that it's not going to be the previous chapter, A Storm of Wishes. 😆


	11. Uncertainty and Mortality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously in Friend Request...
> 
> Having never met Jamie's ex-girlfriend, he decided to reserve his judgement when he meets her. There were other pressing matters that concerned him as he browsed through his picture gallery. Earlier, Willie made a few screenshots of the messages Claire received on Facebook and had it sent to his own phone. The date on one particular message disturbed him as it was sent way before Claire arrived Lallybroch and before she and Jamie became a couple.
> 
> You fucking whore, do you know it's incest to sleep with your brother? You're nothing but an ugly cunt.
> 
> He browsed through Claire's Facebook profile, knowing already she never posted a picture of herself. The images she posted were more of a hobby photography kind. There was only one photo of herself which Jamie posted and tagged her in, and this was from a few days ago. Swiping up further, he searched for a post nearer to the date when the vile messages started landing in Claire's inbox. They began on the day when she announced on Facebook she was coming home to Lallybroch to stay for good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wishing you all happy reading! And thank you so much for your feedback in the previous chapter.

_Claire could barely see through tears rapidly welling up in her eyes. She prayed they wouldn't fall, afraid to show the world she was affected by some measly string of words contrived to deliberately hurt her._

> _If I had a face like yours, my parents would die of shock too._

_With trembling hands, she folded the offensive note that was left on top of her schoolbooks and slipped it in her skirt pocket. This was not the first time it happened, and she knew it wouldn't be the last. Hell would have to freeze a thousand times over before she showed them how upset she was. Straightening her spine and swallowing a golf ball-sized lump in her throat, she sat down and focused on the class that was about to commence. Her herculean effort to hold back the tears was tested further when she overheard a sniggering group taunting her in whispers. They jeered in hurtful undertones, with words that were so wounding that often times she wished she had died with her parents._

_Stubbornness prevented her from crying though, afraid Jamie would notice and come swooping in to save the day. That's what he always did. He was a fixer and a caretaker, and she couldn't let him muscle in and assert himself as her repairman._ No, I can't have that. _Of course, he would still clock something was up, but without the evidence of tears, the subject was easier dropped._

I don't need fixing. If other people have a problem with me, it was my cross to bear. The Frasers have done more than enough, and I don't need them fighting my battles.

..........

She should be used to this by now. They're only words, and words can't hurt her unless she allowed it. _You aren't those words. You aren't the shouts and names. You aren't the awful things spat at you like flavourless gum. Get a grip, Beauchamp!_

Leaning back on her chair as she stared into the laptop screen, Claire let out a massive sigh of relief. There had been no nasty messages waiting for her in the Facebook inbox neither was there any hints of disapproval in the comments' box when Jamie announced on Social Media that they were together. The picture he posted of them spoke volumes of his possessiveness - they were locked in an embrace, while she looked straight to the camera, with his forehead pressed against her jawline, face slightly turned, revealing only an eye and an upturned mouth that said, _My Girl._ Although he posted their relationship status a few days ago, the congratulatory comments kept coming, and Claire had been holding her breath waiting for some smart ass remark. But there were none, much to her surprise.

Respite from the vile messages she received almost regularly, didn't detract her from feeling slightly apprehensive at the thought of Jamie bringing Annalise to Lallybroch. Even when pangs of jealousy sliced through her insides mercilessly, her conscience couldn't bear the idea of his ex-girlfriend being left alone in her condition. Compared to Annalise, she had been fortunate to have been raised by a loving family, and she couldn't deny her wish to not be alone when she was given the death sentence, cancer. It was a big ask, but Claire thought it was a plea of a dying, desperate woman.

Jamie had wanted her say in the matter, but they both knew the answer already. Brian and Ellen had raised them to always do the right thing and to never shirk from responsibility, and that had been drummed into their upbringing so incessantly that sometimes little sacrifices were made. 

Her thoughts drifted back once again to Annalise. Although they had the same tragic start to childhood, the similarities didn't end there. According to Jamie, Annalise had always felt she was an outsider and never really fitted in. The fact that she had no one around her at her lowest point in life substantiated that story. _Maybe Jamie is drawn to women he thinks need saving and protecting? I'm in a good place in life now, and perhaps I would lose that appeal once he realised I don't need safeguarding._ Shaking herself, she pushed those thoughts away, reprimanding herself for being melodramatic, a trait that seemed to be trending in her emotions lately.

Claire had just finished going through the menu plans for the grand re-opening of _The Fraser Manor Inn_ when Willie's car screeched to a stop outside the house on the gravelled driveway. He had agreed to take her to Lallybroch after running errands. Declining to go with him earlier to the airport to pick up Jamie and Annalise, she had opted to see them in Lallybroch instead later in the day. _I need to go through the food stock and beverage inventory for the restaurant._ The excuse had sounded lame to her ears, but deep down, she knew she was delaying the inevitable - meeting Jamie's ex-girlfriend. _What am I anxious about? Jamie is a solid guy...as solid as solid go and how often had he said he loves me? Yeah, a round of applause Beauchamp, for daring to exercise rational thinking._

Annoyed with herself, she stuffed her laptop and phone in her satchel, before taking a quick glance over of her reflection in the hallway mirror. She was wearing a creamy sweater over a white shirt, tight black jeans and weathered heavy Wellington boots - ideal for the cold and blustery day. A few times, prior, she had considered changing her outfit, perhaps with an afterthought of making an effort for Jamie or show-offing to Annalise. But in the end, practicality won the day when the weather proved to be too cold for a dress.

Once outside, she ran to Willie's waiting car and flung the door open. Clumsily she threw her satchel in before plopping into the passenger seat. "Hey, you...God, it's bloody freezing! Thank you for giving me a lift." Shivering, she rubbed her hands together for warmth before offering them to Willie to rub in his bigger ones and blow his breath into, an old habit they have shared from the past. 

Instead of taking her hands, Willie started the car and pulled out of the driveaway. "Place them under yer thighs. They'll warm up quicker there," he grunted as he turned the heater up a notch, his jaw clenching and unclenching.

"Oh," she shrugged, arching an eyebrow. "Grumpy much?" She wanted so much to know what he thought of Annalise but instead settled back on her seat and waited. Willie had not been himself lately, and she had put it down to the build-up of the re-opening of the hotel.

Letting out a huge sigh, he reached out to squeeze her hand. "I haven't had much sleep."

"I hope it's just lack of sleep, Willie. You've been acting really weird on me these past few days, and I don't like it. One minute you want to talk to me and the next minute you're avoiding me." Claire had been noticing recently, how he flinches a lot every time she was near and wondered what she had done wrong. "I hope it has nothing to do with my new deodorant." She slapped her knee and laughed as she realised she had spoken her thoughts out loud.

Willie didn't laugh. "Would it bother ye?" he asked in a clipped tone.

" _Would it bother_ me what?" she asked, confusion swarming her brain.

"If I avoided ye," he replied, hitting the blinker before he turned right on the road.

"Of course, it would bother me, you silly goose," she said as she rummaged into her satchel, to take out a granola bar.

"Why?"

"Because I love you." She took a bite and offered her snack to Willie with an outstretched hand.

He shook his head at the offering, sparing her only a quick glance. "Ditto."

"Ditto, what the fuck is that?" she asked in a muffled voice, chewing vigorously and glaring at him. Claire knew what the word meant, but this weird Willie vibe thing was beginning to annoy her. He usually would have said _I love you_ back.

Willie ignored the question. "Any unpleasant messages lately?"

"None of your business," she snapped, shoving her bag at her feet.

"I guess I deserved that." This time he laughed, probably an effort to lighten the heavy mood he created. "Now who's grumpy?"

"I'm not grumpy, I'm just annoyed at you. You know what...you really ought to get a life. Maybe it would improve your morose mood...like go on a date, meet a girl....that sort of thing." Claire sat back thoughtfully, processing her internal RAM before continuing. "God, I can't remember a time when you had a girlfriend. I know you did because I can remember a girl vaguely, but that must have been ages ago." She glanced at his profile and saw his throat bob up and down. 

"That's hospitality industry for ye...nae time for romance." He slowed down the car as he approached a smaller road leading to Lallybroch.

"Utter shite and you know that! How about Geillis?" Claire said without missing a beat, her eyes lighting up. "She's single, available and she'll understand the long hours working in a hotel,"

"Nah, she's a nice lass but too brash for my taste." He pressed the inside of his cheek with his tongue in an attempt to suppress a burst of laughter.

Claire snorted out loud. She had to agree with Willie on this one that her friend is too cocksure for her own good. "You do know we have some new staff employed in the hotel. Surely, there's bound to be one that meets your discerning taste. But either way, go out there and find your special someone. You deserve that."

He didn't answer, and Claire left it at that, driving in silence for a while. She had been quite sure there was an attraction between Geillis and Willie from the moment they met, but today she wasn't in the mood to play matchmaker nor pry more into Willie's love life. Not for now, at least. There were other pressing matters such as Annalise and her own new relationship with Jamie.

As they pulled up at Lallybroch's driveway, Willie gave her a wink as he glanced at her. "Hey, I'll probably take yer advice and go out on a date, if that makes ye happy and me less dour."

"Good for you, you owe it to yourself. But...umm..." She went silent for a moment thinking Willie hadn't mentioned Jamie nor Annalise. "Willie...what do you think of Annalise? I don't mean to sound like a jealous nag, but I want to know from a man's perspective...do you find her pretty?"

Willie drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, contemplating his answer earnestly. "Honestly...what did you call it again? Aye, my discerning taste. My discerning taste thinks ye are prettier."

"Of course, you'll say that. Why did I even bother asking?" She pulled the satchel from her feet and hitched it over on her shoulder. "You coming in?"

"Aye, but I need to make a few phone calls. Ye go ahead and save a scone for me." Before she could get out of the car, he stopped her. "Claire?"

"Yeah?"

"I love ye."

Claire smiled. "Ditto."

Walking up to the house, she couldn't help but think how much Willie, looked like Jamie when he said I love you.

..........

She was about to open the entrance door when it was unceremoniously flung opened, and Jamie grabbed her wrist. She let out a squeak as he dragged her inside, slinging his forearm against her arse to draw her up onto her toes. Smiling and without saying a word, he walked her back towards the wall of the hallway, his beautiful soul-sucking blue looking intently into her eyes. Tangling a hand in Claire's hair, he tongued her lips open, laughing softly when she gasped, before sinking them both to a kiss. Slowly, Jamie moulded their bodies together against the wall, his lips travelling along her jawline before nuzzling her ear. "Hmm, I was expecting my girlfriend to meet me at the airport this morning. I wonder what kept her away?" He pulled back an inch to tuck her hair behind her ear. "So what's happening inside that pretty head of yers?"

Whatever doubts and worries she had, they had all dissipated. "Oh, this and that," she breathed, as she did a mental replay of their Facetime boogie from the other night, sending a kerfuffle of hormones ricochetting in her belly. "Sorry I couldn't be there to see you. I have been busy with work, you know... menus and stuff, and sourcing new vendors for some of the new dishes. Did you know there's a convention booked already a week after the re-opening?" she whispered, running her palms on his abdomen. It wasn't a lie; nevertheless, it was a good excuse, giving her enough time to sort out her thoughts before meeting Annalise. 

"I guess I have loads of catching up to do, aye?" he laughed, but the laughter quickly faded away as he searched her face. As if reading her thoughts, which was eerily most of the time, he lifted her chin with his index finger to look into her eyes. "Sassenach, ye have nothing to worry about Annalise, I hope ye know that." He ran his fingers along the seams of her mouth before brushing his lips against hers. "Christ, all I could think about is ye while I was in Paris to a point I was incapable of doing what I was supposed to do. I ken she was my girlfriend, and I can't change that...I can't change the past. I have to believe that sometimes things happen for a reason and that maybe, she was put into our paths so that we can help her. I'm not going to lie...I did care for her, but I didn't love her like the way I do ye. Ye have to trust that."

Claire gave a sharp exhale. There was no more avoiding the subject. "I know, Jamie and that's what I love most about you...you're kind and compassionate that way. See...this relationship thing...I'm already sucking at it. I didn't even know that meeting you at the airport is a boyfriend-girlfriend thing."

Unable to subdue his grin, Jamie caught her full lower lip between his teeth and tugged. "Let's see...ye can make it up for me later, perhaps? In our house? I ken your place is more comfortable, but I don't think I want Geillis hearing all the sounds that you make when I make love to ye."

Her heart started to sprint. "Oh! Our house is it? And you know, you do talk a lot of rubbish...I hardly make any sounds," she giggled.

"Aye, it's our house, and aye, ye do make a lot of sounds. Plenty of adorable sounds, like this..." With a wink, he gave her a look of debauchery, sliding one arm beneath her arse to boost her up and one free hand palming her breast. He chuckled under his breath when she let out a moan. "...and I haven't even started yet."

Her gulp was audible as crimson climbed up her throat, and not really wanting to, she gently pushed him away. "Jamie put me down now. Ma and da can walk in on us any minute." She could hear voices in the kitchen and teacups clacking on saucers. "Let's go meet your other bird, huh?" _Best get it over and done with._

Smiling, he allowed his head to collapse on the crook of her neck, heavily breathing in her scent. "Aye...can't be helped. Missed ye so bad, Sassenach," he murmured huskily, lightly fisting his hand on the wall above Claire's head. Pressing his lips against her forehead, he half-heartedly stood upright, not quite ready to let her go yet. "Right, are we good?"

She nodded and took his hand as Jamie guided her towards the staircase. "So what did ma and da say? Have they met Annalise?"

"Aye, they've met over breakfast. Ye ken what they're like, the house is open to anybody and everybody. I haven't really spoken to them yet as I was too preoccupied looking out the window waiting for ye to arrive," he said in an amused tone.

"Why are we heading upstairs? I thought she was in the kitchen," she asked, looking towards the kitchen they passed.

"She was exhausted earlier and needed to lie down. She must be awake now, but I dinna ken which room she took. Ma did say to take her pick of the empty rooms."

"She's probably in Geillis' room," Claire mumbled, pulling her hand away from Jamie's to smooth back her hair.

"Hey..." Halfway up the stairs, he turned to face her, reaching out to gently rubbed the pad of his thumb on her cheeks. "...just saying, ok? If there's anything troubling ye, anything at all, ye ken ye can talk to me, aye? We're together now, and ye best get used to it, really fast." He leaned forward to rub his nose against hers. "It's a boyfriend-girlfriend thing, ye ken... in case ye didn't get the memo." He winked, before taking her hand once again in his and pulling her up the stairs.

"Yeah, got it!" she replied but stopped on her tracks when they reached the landing. Further down the hallway, she saw her books neatly stacked outside her old room, and on top of the pile was her dreamcatcher which use to hang above her bed. It was a gift from her uncle Lamb's friend. "Oh, I guess she's not taking the guest room."

Jamie squeezed her shoulders, obviously surprised as her. "Och, sorry Sassenach, I didnae realised. Dinna fash, I'll tell her to use the other room, and I'll put back the books on your shelves..."

Claire grabbed his arm. "No, Jamie, it's alright. I have a place of my own now, and really, it's silly to keep a room here when I don't really need it. She can have it."

"Are ye sure? It shouldn't take a few minutes and.."

"Positive," she reaffirmed, making her way to her old room. At the doorway, she squared her shoulder and gently knocked on the door, almost forgetting Jamie was stood behind her.

"Come in," a light, melodic voice with French accent answered.

Nudging the door, she let herself in to come face to face with Jamie's ex, sat on her old dressing table. Grudgingly Claire had to admit to herself, Annalise was breathtakingly beautiful, and the lack of hair didn't diminish that beauty. In fact, it enhanced her big cornflower blue eyes and delicately shaped eyebrows. With the sunlight streaming from the window behind her, she looked like an angel, dressed in her... _what?_ Claire's eyes widened when she realised, Annalise was wearing her green wrap-around dress. "Oh, hi...I'm Claire," she said warmly as she stepped forward to shake her hand.

Instead of taking her hand, Annalise stood up and gave her a tight hug and Claire couldn't help but notice, Jamie's ex was wearing the same perfume as her. "So lovely to finally meet you, Claire. I have been so much looking forward to this," she gushed, her voice so soft, it reminded her of a child's. Returning to her chair, she gestured towards the bed. "Please, take a seat." Pausing, she smiled sweetly. "I only realised recently that you and Jamie are together. I would have never guessed as he spoke so fondly and so much of you that he gave me an impression you were siblings. Well, congratulations are in order...both of you make a perfect couple."

Jamie coughed a _thank you_ , and Claire, instead of sitting down, glanced around her old room, noticing some visible changes had taken place already. Her poster of the world map was taken down for one. "Thank you. I see you've made yourself at home, and that dress looks lovely on you."

"Oh..." Annalise looked down, her expression changing into mortification. "I'm so sorry, Claire. I was making room in the wardrobe, and I saw this hanging. It's so pretty that I had to try it on. I'll take it off now..."

"No, it's alright, really. Keep it, it's yours. The dress becomes you, and I haven't worn it in ages. I will take the rest of my things now, so you have more room. The sooner you're settled, the better." Claire knew she was rambling, but she felt she needed to move.

"There's no rush, Claire but if you must I can help you..." Annalise's voice trailed off as Claire dismissed her suggestion with a wave of a hand, picking up the rest of the things to place in an empty box that was already there. Shrugging her delicate shoulders, Annalise turned her attention to Jamie. "Jamie, is it tomorrow you're taking me to see the doctor?"

"Och aye...we need to sort out yer papers at the NHS and register ye as a resident," Jamie started, one hand massaging the back of his neck. 

Claire suddenly felt sorry for him being in such an awkward situation that she mentally admonished herself for pointing out the dress Annalise was wearing.

"I'll take her." It was Willie standing at the door, both his hands resting on the doorjamb. They haven't heard him walking on the creaky floorboards that they were all surprised to see him stood there. "Jamie, ye're needed in the kitchen to sort out your department in the Pattiserrie, and Murtagh needs to go over the dessert menu for a la carte with ye."

"Weel, I can do all those things tomorrow and take Annalise..."

"I'm going to drop off some papers to Ned Gowan tomorrow, and it's on the way to the Doctor's," Willie explained as a matter of factly. Turning his attention to Annalise, he smiled. "Prepare yer documents, passport and doctors' diagnosis for tomorrow. We'll need every scrap of those papers to register ye here." With that, Willie didn't wait for a reply and simply offered a perfunctory nod and turned on his heels and left.

"What the hell...hang on a minute. Ye can't just..." Jamie was already out the door following his older brother, leaving the two women to stare at each other in bewilderment.

"What just happened?" Annalise whispered, her one hand on her mouth.

"Brothers...that's what happened," Claire replied, shrugging her shoulders as she resumed gathering the last of her knick-knacks strewn in her old room. "Both stubborn as a bull, ye ken..." she explained in her best Scottish mimick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you've enjoyed this chapter and thank you so much for taking the time to leave your comments, love and kudos. I truly appreciate them.


	12. The Secret Adversary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously in Uncertainty and Mortality
> 
> "I'm going to drop off some papers to Ned Gowan tomorrow, and it's on the way to the Doctor's," Willie explained as a matter of factly. Turning his attention to Annalise, he smiled. "Prepare yer documents, passport and doctors' diagnosis for tomorrow. We'll need every scrap of those papers to register ye here." With that, Willie didn't wait for a reply and simply offered a perfunctory nod and turned on his heels and left.
> 
> "What the hell...hang on a minute. Ye can't just..." Jamie was already out the door following his older brother, leaving the two women to stare at each other in bewilderment.
> 
> "What just happened?" Annalise whispered, her one hand on her mouth.
> 
> "Brothers...that's what happened," Claire replied, shrugging her shoulders as she resumed gathering the last of her knick-knacks strewn in her old room. "Both stubborn as a bull, ye ken..." she explained in her best Scottish mimick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the love, kudos and comments in the previous chapter. I wish you all happy reading!😃❤️

_What's up with Willie's I-run-the-show attitude?_ Jamie was torn between leaving Claire with Annalise and confronting his older brother. He was up to his eyeballs putting up with his cryptic remarks and knowing looks, the demand for that long-overdue talk with Willie prevailed. Not that Jamie didn't appreciate his brother's stellar capabilities in taking care of things while he was away, but to take over and dictate how to run his life was nothing short of condescending.

 _Damn it!_ He would rather be somewhere else with Claire without the pressure of responsibilities yanking him from all sides. The refurbishment of his house required his attention, preparatory work in the hotel kitchen was mounting, and as if he didn't have enough on his plate, he brought Annalise from France to Scotland hoping it was the right thing to do. 

Annoyance clawed at Jamie's back over having to go after his brother. Without offering any explanation nor consulting him first, Willie had taken over in one swoop and announced that he would be taking Annalise to the doctor's the following day. If nobody had been at home, Jamie would have already shouted at him for interfering. Or maybe worse. Probably decked him too, for good measure. It's not that his brother's behaviour surprised him. Willie being the eldest, duties and family responsibilities were heaped on his shoulders at a very young age while their parents ran a thriving hotel business. So it became instinctual for him to intervene even in his siblings' lives, undoubtedly a habit he had not outgrown. 

As he followed Willie to their father's study room, Jamie was caught off guard. "I was hoping ye'd follow me. How long were ye and Annalise together?" he asked. His brother's face was unreadable, a trait every Fraser possessed when a situation demanded it.

Jamie's eyebrows shot up but, he too, kept his features carefully schooled so he wouldn't betray the anger pounding through his blood. "Oh no, no... _bràthair_ , ye don't get to ask questions here. What the fuck was that all about upstairs?" he asked in a level tone of voice, referring to Willie's recent meddling.

Willie looked surprised as if seeing Jamie for the first time. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he drew out a heavy sigh. "This is about Claire," he revealed before taking out his phone from his jean pocket and swiping a few times on the screen. "Did ye know that she still uses that same bloody password for all her internet accounts for the last ten years? Everybody knew her password. Weel, the whole family, did. She's never changed it."

It was true everyone in the Fraser household knew Claire's password. She broadcasted it during dinnertime when she first set up her email account, excited at the prospect of making her first digital footprint. Worrying she might forget, she revealed to them her sign-in security. Although the family were amused, Willie had warned her not to share that piece of information further and even told her that 1234Claire was a weak password and that she ought to change it. Obviously, the advice was never heeded.

Feeling a tingling behind his neck, Jamie remained silent, waiting for his brother to continue. _What has this to do with Annalise?_

"There are these messages, ye ken..." Willie proceeded, considering his next words for a moment while his concentration was focused on the phone he held on his hand. "I had to see more, so I logged into her Facebook account."

Jamie's brow puckered in confusion, taking a few seconds for his brother's words to sink in. "Oh for fuck sake, Willie!" Jamie uttered in disbelief, both hands clasping the back of his head. "Are ye stalking Claire? Because that's fucking rank and really, an all-time low. What level have ye sunk into?"

"No! Jesus, _no!_ " Roughly shoving his phone in Jamie's hand, he willed him to look at the screenshot image he had taken from her phone. "Claire has been receiving these offensive messages from some anonymous person. It's been going on the last few months. I had nae choice but to look into it...log into her account to intercept the messages."

"She told ye about the messages?" Jamie's vision swam with red, and he could feel the blood turning into frozen ice in his veins, as he viewed image after image of hurtful words directed at Claire from his brother's phone.

"No. Claire was upset when I accidentally saw the message on her phone screen. I had to pry the phone off her hand to take a better look. I wouldn't have done that if she didn't look so troubled." Willie glanced over to the door as a precaution, in case someone might overhear. When he turned back, his brows were drawn low. "I had to delete the last couple of messages that were sent. They were threats. They may be empty words meant to frighten her, but they're quite upsetting. I think these messages might be the reason I've seen her drinking during the day."

 _Christ, why didn't Claire tell me?_ "What kind of threats?" Jamie's first instinct was to drag her from upstairs, shake the truth out of until her teeth chattered and envelop her in a protective hug.

"Threats to her life..." Willie answered haltingly. "It's probably a prank, but ye never know."

Even having already suspected what Willie's next words would be, it didn't ease the blow of hearing it spoken aloud. Over his dead body would those words ever come true. "And what has all these to do with Annalise?"

"Those messages started around the time you broke up with Annalise, so I reckon it might be her sending them. You may have separated amicably, but disappointments sometimes run deep, ye ken. That is why I wanted to know how long ye've been together."

Jamie stared at an invisible spot on the floor with a vacant expression. "It could be purely coincidental," he argued weakly, his voice trailing off when he remembered Annalise's request to marry her. He had omitted to tell that part of the story to Willie and Claire. Feeling uncertain, Jamie sat down on the chair, bracing his elbows on his knees and burying his face in his hands. The thought of the possibility that it might be Annalise sending those messages and inadvertently putting Claire's life in danger, made him feel sick, even if Willie's explanation was wholly hypothetical. "But ...Annalise has those papers from the doctor. I've looked over them. I don't want to jump to any conclusions unless we have a piece of solid evidence. Christ, we're talking about a dying woman here, Willie." _Did I really look at those papers thoroughly?_ _Damn it, how much have I told Annalise about Claire when we were together?_

"Aye, I've considered that. That's why I want Ned Gowan to look at those papers to check its legitimacy." Willie took the chair opposite Jamie, running a weary hand over his already tousled hair. "Jamie, this is no' just some childish name-calling and whatnot like from her schooldays. They're death threats. It may be nothing, but we need to take it seriously."

Ned Gowan was their family lawyer and friend, a kindly middle-aged man, with his own successful law firm. His gentle manner and friendly face belied his reputation as a hotshot legal representative and was feared in the court arena. His mannerisms and friendliness can put any witnesses of the opposing party at ease before catching them off guard with his sharp wit and dexterity during interrogation. His influence was far-reaching and was rumoured to have private detectives working for him to assist with critical cases.

 _God, so it has come to that._ Jamie suddenly felt weary as he let his head fall back, imploring the ceiling for clarity. "Aye, aye...but until we are sure, beyond a reasonable doubt, we will not treat Annalise differently. And this goes for ye too, Willie," he warned, pointing his index finger at him. He knew that giving Annalise any inkling she was suspected of any wrongdoing, and it was later proven wrong, the accusation may possibly bite them on the arse in the form of guilt. "Annalise can't be the only suspect ye have in mind, surely."

"No. Frank is a maybe. Claire went out a couple of times with him a summer ago. It was nothing serious...just a few drinks at the pub. And recently, she cancelled a date with him, after both of ye got together...so aye, he's a possibility. I doubt it though. He's in his last couple of months of training before he becomes a barrister, so there's a slim chance he would do anything as stupid as that."

"Aye, that's right, go through my friends' list, and mind to tick their name off once they're eliminated from yer suspect list," Jamie bit out sarcastically.

"Am I on the suspect list?"

The brothers' heads snapped towards the doorway to find Geillis leaning on the doorframe, arms crossed in front of her, and an amused look plastered on her face.

"How much did ye hear?" Willie asked cautiously, rising from his seat.

"Enough to understand what's going on." Geillis sauntered into the room, her ankle boots' heels clicking with each step. She tossed an empty sports bag on the floor and sat on the edge of the desk, head tilting back and forth as she regarded the brothers. "My turn to sneak up on ye," she joked, winking at Jamie.

"Geillis, please, not a word to Claire," Jamie stressed, giving her a warning look.

Her lips twitched, accentuating the dimples on her cheeks. "Dinna fash, lads, I won't say a word. That's yer prerogative." A flicker of calculation flashed in her eyes before she continued. "But if I were ye, I would tell Claire what ye know and what ye plan to do. The reason she doesn't confide in ye both is, ye treat her like some freakin' fragile porcelain. She's a strong lass, ye ken, much more than ye give her credit for." 

She paused to inspect her manicured nails before proceeding. "Aye, indeed she drinks to dull the hurt from those messages, but it's because she cannae confide to the people she loves most. Really, lads, ye ought to let her fight her own battles but let her know ye're there to help...not to fight the battles for her." Smiling sweetly, she jumped off the desk and patted them both on the cheek, before retrieving her bag on the floor. "So lads, stop being a couple of skid marks and get yer heads out of yer shite hole, aye? Otherwise, if she finds out ye're sneaking behind her back...weel...tsk, tsk."

Stunned and speechless, Jamie and Willie could only watch Geillis sashay out of the room, her rant still echoing in their heads and her musical voice sailing out into the hallway. "Oh, Claire, where are ye?"

.........

Claire was relieved when Geillis walked in. Although Annalise had been nothing but sweet, she couldn't bring herself to be comfortable in her presence. The thought of Jamie holding Annalise, past or any moment in time had her stomach in knots, jealousy curdling at its pit, leaving a bitter taste in her mouth.

Watching as the two girls introduced themselves to each other, Geillis' easy rapport somehow transformed the strained atmosphere to light and breezy. She had texted her friend earlier to bring an empty bag for her other belongings, and now, she was glad she did. Seizing the opportunity, Claire excused herself from their conversation and escaped to Jamie's room. 

Looking out into the window, she stared at the open fields seeing nothing. _You and Annalise have similarities, orphaned at such an early age._ That thought frequently reverberated through the walls of her head, sending a niggle of discomfort crawling up her spine. She had wondered from the beginning of their relationship, why Jamie seemed so infatuated with her. Was he drawn to her because her start in life was something to take pity on? Or perhaps because she constantly needed saving from the bullies in school? 

_Now that I don't need saving, how long until Jamie lost interest? What if I told him about those messages I've been receiving?_

The sounds of the house grew muffled, and Annalise's and Geillis' conversation next door faded away until she could only hear the dull thudding of her own heart. She stood like that for a long while, mentally trying to stamp out the insecurities plaguing her mind.

Through the fog that had descended, she heard a familiar voice as Claire felt an arm encircling her waist and warm breath fanning her neck. "Sassenach." Jamie's tone of voice was thick with concern. "Look at me. What's wrong?"

She turned around to face him, the pressure of his big hands on her, propelling the world back into its usual rhythm. At first, there was only the outline of Jamie's head, surrounded by the sunlight streaming in from the window, but steadily he came into view, worry creasing his handsome face.

"Sassenach? What is it?" he asked urgently.

"Hey, I'm fine," she whispered, clearing her throat to sound more convincing. "Honestly, it's all good. I'm sorry, I was daydreaming, and I didn't hear you come in." Claire leaned her forehead against Jamie's chest, deeply inhaling his masculine scent. The million-pound question was on the tip of her tongue. _Am I a rescue mission?_ _Am I being used to fulfil that sense of duty so instilled in the Frasers upbringing?_

"Speak to me," he said, moving closer and wrapping her in his arms. "Yer back was so rigid, as if ye'd seen a ghost. What's in yer mind?"

"Not much. It's just that..." _Oh God, what if I'm wrong?_ The love between them was real, it was right now, and it was all-consuming. _Stop over-analysing and live in the moment._ "Are you staying here tonight?"

Jamie smiled. "No." He raised her right hand to kiss the inside of her palm. "I came in here to pack some clothes to take. May I stay with ye tonight? And the nights after that?"

"Of course, I thought we've decided on that earlier." She wedged her head under his chin and wrapped her arms around his waist. The fears she had earlier began to evaporate, settling the chaos in her belly once and for all. It was startling how quickly he can blur every thought in her head and narrow it down to just him. "How about Annalise?"

"Aye, I'll check up on her later. She's no' that poorly that she needs my assistance. Willie will be here to keep an eye on her and make sure she eats. Tomorrow, he'll be taking her to the doctor. And we'll see what happens after that," he explained.

"Right, of course. Shall I help you pack?" She was moving away already, but Jamie didn't let go. Instead, he guided them to a chair and pulled her down to his lap, his arms possessively going around her.

"I'm not done with ye yet," he whispered, his throat worked with emotion. He started to speak and stopped, leaning down to mould his mouth to hers for a thorough kiss instead. After what seemed like an eternity, Jamie cautiously eased back an inch, massaging the base of her spine with his thumb. "Do ye trust me?"

Her honey-coloured eyes fell to half-mast, reluctant to share what had been troubling her just yet. "You know I do, Jamie," she murmured, aware he was trying to read her mind.

"Sassenach, there is one thing I want to ask of ye, and that is honesty. Honesty between us," he said slowly. Feeling her flinch against him, he paused to kiss her forehead before continuing. "We've known each other for a long time, and it may seem we know everything there is to know about one another." His breath released in a long rush, as she raised her eyes to look at him. "Fact is, there are things we choose not to reveal. Like a secret, aye? We are entitled to that, to keep a little bit of ourselves from the world. And that's alright. Like me, there are things that I cannae tell ye, at least not yet. I suppose the same goes with ye. But, what I ask of ye is, whatever we say to one another, there should only be the truth between us. I will not demand anything of ye that ye are not ready to tell me. Do ye think that's fair?" 

She nodded, half smiling. "Yes, it's fair."

"I know I'm asking a lot from ye by bringing Annalise here. God knows how I would feel if the situation was reversed and ye were bringing another man home to take care of. I wouldn't like it one bit." He rubbed his thumb over her collarbone, studying it so carefully she wondered if he was memorising the texture. "I want ye to feel secure in my love, Sassenach."

Swallowing the desire to avoid an uncomfortable topic, she forced herself to reassure Jamie, knowing that this was as difficult for him as it was with her. "Bringing her here was both our decision, Jamie. We both agreed to it. It is kind of awkward being around her, I won't deny it, but it's early days, and I guess we need to give ourselves time to adjust."

A multitude of emotions swam across his face, gratitude and relief for her understanding chiefly among them. "Aye, that's true, but sometimes I have my doubts if it was the right thing. Annalise may need me, but I want ye to understand that ye come first and foremost in my life and it's never a choice." He cradled the back of her head in a gentle hold, willing her to hold his gaze. "If ever her presence becomes too unbearable for ye, we'll find another way. Ye only need to say the word."

Claire's hand lifted at their own accord to frame his face. "Thank you. Just bear with me for the next few days. I'm sure I'll be fine." Feeling the tension eased off Jamie's shoulders, she encircled her arms around his neck and laid her head on his shoulders.

After a long moment wrapped up in each other's arms, there was a knock on the door. They glanced towards the doorway to find Willie stood there with a strange look on his face.

"Both of ye, will ye come down, please," Willie said in a low voice. "Two police officers want to speak to you, Claire. Something about a crowdfunding page ye set up for..." he gestured with his thumb towards her old bedroom.

Claire understood what he meant. "What about it?" she asked apprehensively.

"They wouldn't say. Best come down and find out." 

Before she could say more, Willie was already heading down the stairs. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thank you for your comments and kudos. They're something I always look forward to, and your feedbacks inspire me to write. I hope you've enjoyed reading this chapter.😃❤️


	13. Girls Gone Bad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously in The Secret Adversary...
> 
> After a long moment wrapped up in each other's arms, there was a knock on the door. They glanced towards the doorway to find Willie stood there with a strange look on his face.
> 
> "Both of ye, will ye come down, please," Willie said in a low voice. "Two police officers want to speak to you, Claire. Something about a crowdfunding page ye set up for..." he gestured with his thumb towards her old bedroom.
> 
> Claire understood what he meant. "What about it?" she asked apprehensively.
> 
> "They wouldn't say. Best come down and find out." 
> 
> Before she could say more, Willie was already heading down the stairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extra-long chapter for you guys! Wishing you all happy reading! 😀❤️
> 
> Dedicated to all the victims of bullying  
> ***************************************
> 
> "Whenever you start doubting your capabilities and how far you can go, just think about how far you’ve come. Remember all the battles you have fought and won, and all the fears that you have conquered."

Claire's footsteps echoed off the hallway that led to the hotel's kitchen, high heels clicking along the tiled floor. Running late for the staff meeting she had scheduled for the service and kitchen personnel, she didn't bother hurrying as she couldn't care less. With her hands full with catering contracts for special events and the preparation for the grand re-opening, she had been in a foul mood for the last few days. Her temper was amplified even more that morning when she dropped her contact lenses on the floor, sending her into fits of frustration when she couldn't find them, leaving her with no choice but to wear her glasses instead. Seeing her reflection earlier in the bathroom mirror, made her wince. Her black-rimmed specs reminded her of high school. Definitely not good memories to bring up considering the state of her frayed nerves.

Over the last few days, she went through varying degrees of annoyance initially stemming from two police officers paying her a visit.

_"Miss Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp?"_

_"Umm, hello. Yes, that's me. What can I do for you, officer?"_

_"We would like to question you on behalf of the National Fraud Intelligence Bureau about the crowdfunding site you set up for a French national by the name of Annalise de Marillac. There has been..."_

_"I beg your pardon? Fraud Bureau? Did I do something illegal?"_

_"Miss Beauchamp, there's been a complaint against your person by an anonymous tip-off at the Cyber Crime Reporting Centre. You are being accused of false representation to commit fraud. Can we please come in?"_

As it turned out, her good intention to raise money for Annalise via a crowdsourcing website had garnered a lot of attention and raised a lot of money. Unfortunately, it had also led to some prankster calling the police and reporting her scheme as fraudulent. The matter was momentarily resolved when Jamie and Willie intervened and brought down Annalise for questioning. The French girl was in tears explaining to the officers of her condition and the kindness shown by the Fraser family and Claire, and eventually, presenting them proof with her diagnosis papers.

When Annalise had been excused after she complained of tiredness and headache, the police officers, obviously still not satisfied, remained to delve further as to why someone would accuse Claire of fraud. That's when everything imploded when Willie, hesitant and nervous at first, told the officers of the death threats that were in her Facebook inbox and how he came to know about it. Oh, how mad she was and madder, even more, when she found out Jamie knew about it, the means and ways Willie had log into her Facebook to play detective as if it wasn't bad enough he had screenshot her private messages.

After the police officers left, satisfied that no fraudulent act was committed, more revelations came forth from Jamie and Willie, only because she had been seething with anger and looking at them like they were a couple of red flags to a bull. As if they were two wee lads caught with their hands in the cookie jar, they compunctiously admitted to everything. They told her of their suspicions and suspects, their plan to get the family's lawyer, Ned Gowan involved, and their initial intention to keep her in the dark for her protection. Willie even explained his plan to take Annalise to the doctor himself the following morning, and discreetly stop by Ned Gowan's office to have her medical papers and story investigated for their validity.

Not that their concern was lost on her and that she felt a bit hypocritical for not telling Jamie about the messages she had been receiving for the last few months. She had her reasons. _Bloody good ones too!_

She'd always loved Jamie's compassionate side, but deep down, she had a sneaking suspicion that his infatuation with her was based on his need to rescue an underdog. Wasn't that was she had been throughout her childhood? Wasn't that why he had been in a relationship with Annalise? She was totally convinced the French girl reminded him of her, a victim of the injustices of life and its unfairness. By resolving to prove she wasn't anyone's rescue mission, Claire was courting the eventuality Jamie will realise she didn't need saving anymore. The fear of him loving her under false judgement was greater than Jamie losing interest when he realised she didn't need rescuing.

In her travels, during the past six years, Claire had come into her own, pushing herself to face her fears and insecurities by tempting fate with her adrenaline laced adventures. Bungee jumping, white-water rafting, rock climbing, ziplining and _hopefully_ , soon sky diving. The taunts and bullying she had endured in school had given her nightmares and self-doubts. But as she grew older, she wanted to rise above all the negativity and prove to herself she was more than her vulnerabilities and flaws, hoping, if her real parents could see her, they would be proud. Her travels had liberated her in a lot of ways, and she wasn't about to fall back into the victim status or be made to feel like one, now that she was back in Lallybroch, surrounded by memories of incessant bullying from her schooldays.

Feeling humiliated and for the sake of self-preservation, she had left Lallybroch with Geillis in Brian's spare car, needing space and time to gather her thoughts. She needed to if she didn't want her self-esteem knocked down a peg or more again. Maybe Annalise's coming into their lives would be an eye-opener, and despite the jealousy that seared her guts, her anger refused to blame the whole situation on the French girl, whether she was genuinely sick or not. There's a truth in the saying, the truth will set you free, but first, it will piss you off.

On the night she left Lallybroch without Jamie, he had nevertheless followed them to her and Geillis' rented house and stayed the night and the nights after that in the spare bedroom, when she wouldn't let him into hers. Secretly she had been pleased he didn't stay in Lallybroch knowing that his bedroom would have been next to Annalise.

Unfortunately, on days like today, when a storm of cloud was riding low above her head and following her everywhere she went, missing Jamie in or out of her bed didn't improve her disposition. Ever since her first sexual encounter with him, she felt she had become needier, constantly having this ache within her that only their lovemaking can ease. Now she was walking around feeling horny, which made her even more cranky as her pride wouldn't allow her to reconcile with Jamie just yet. She needed to be in the right frame of mind, and the mounting work at the hotel wasn't helping at all. Maybe when Ned Gowan had presented them his secret investigation report, could the matter be put to rest. 

_Think about it later. When you're done with work._ Claire took a deep, fortifying breath, the same one she took before a bungee jump. Clutching a stack of papers, on the one hand, she wrapped her other hand around the doorknob and let herself into the staffs' canteen where the service and kitchen personnel were waiting.

"Beauchamp! Ye're late!" Chef Murtagh roared. A dour-looking middle-aged man with dark facial hair and in a crisp kitchen uniform glowered at her as she entered the room.

She heard two metal chairs scrape against the floor, and in her periphery, saw Jamie and Willie stand, about to pounce to her defence. Giving them the laser death glance, they both sat back down. She was quite sure Murtagh gave them the same treatment but she thought hers were probably more effective. _What the hell did they think? I was going to howl and cry?_

Her position as an F&B manager was not a given, and she knew Brian gave her that post because he had every confidence in her to fulfil her role. Despite the family's financial health, there had been no freebies in the Fraser household. Laziness or entitled attitudes had not been tolerated.

" _Haud yer wheesht!_ " Claire snapped, shushing Murtagh in her best mimick of Scot's dialect, making the rest of the meeting's attendee giggle, if not quietly, a tad nervously, as she walked in purposely. _Seriously? God, that felt good, though._ "So what are you going to do about it, Murtagh? Scream me into disappearing? Thanks to you, all the paperwork in F and B office are in shambles. You probably scared the bejesus out of my predecessors with your screaming and your lousy temper." She slammed the stacks of paper on the table beside her.

It was true, Murtagh's demeanour can be quite intimidating, but she knew him well enough after having spent her teenage years helping around the hotel. And the fact that he was the Frasers' siblings' godfather helped. But Brian and Ellen couldn't entirely begrudge him for scaring a lot of their young managerial recruits, as he was the best of the best when it came to culinary art. He had brought prestige and name to Fraser Manor Inn's kitchen, including three Michelin stars, placing their wee village on the map.

Murtagh was still glowering at her, but she saw a spark of amusement flash in his eyes. Maybe she'd imagine it. "Just stating the obvious," he barked. _Definitely, his bark is worse than his bite._

"Well, state less of it," she retorted, resulting in some of the service staff to gasp. "This is my meeting in case you needed reminding." Glancing at the back of the room, she noticed Brian's and Ellen's presence, observing the whole scene with a smirk on their faces. They were obviously glad she didn't back down on Murtagh. Probably relieved too as they've had three F&B managers quit on them during the last two years. "Moving along..." 

She handed photocopied sheets of papers to the staff in the front row to pass along as she briefed them with the menu for the re-opening as well as new dishes for the a la carte. Knowing Murtagh would protest with her latest additions, Claire cut to the chase. "I've made a few changes to the a la carte menu. It's part of keeping up the with the times."

Murtagh ripped off his chef's hat from his head. "Hang on a minute. Ye cannot make changes without consulting me. People come from far and wide to taste my food."

Claire sighed but didn't retreat. "With all due respect, I am not challenging your ability to produce a culinary masterpiece, but we cannot serve the same dishes as we did for the last ten years. There are a lot of new and upcoming talented chefs in Scotland who have bolder and brighter ideas." Not wanting to disregard Murtagh's talent, she continued. "You are a great cook, Murtagh and you can bring out the best in your young team. They have ideas too, and I want to see them. Food enthusiasts have more discerning taste these days and are on the lookout for something different and exciting. I intend to maintain the vision of what you have created here, but we need to modernise if we want to be ahead of the game. We've modernised the kitchen and the restaurant, now it's time we do the same for our dishes."

Almost everyone in the room nodded in agreement except for the Head Chef, but she knew Murtagh will come around once his temper had subsided. Hopefully, soon as Claire didn't want to have to fight him on a daily basis. He may be stubborn, but she knew already he would take the changes she made as a challenge and recreate the dishes she had suggested with his own twist and magic. Without any more interruptions, the meeting concluded an hour and a half later, much to her relief. And to her surprise, her earlier annoyance seemed to have dissipated, feeling the weight lifting off her shoulders.

"Ye did well, Sassenach." She didn't notice Jamie had come up from behind as she gathered her things. "I'm so proud of ye."

She turned around to see him standing so close, the hair at her neck moved with his warm breath. "Jamie, I'm ..."

"Ssshh, I'm so sorry for everything, Claire. I missed us so much. Can we start again?" Her eyes closed involuntarily when he stroked her cheeks. "I'd like to spend some time with ye later after work. I ken we're living under the same roof, but we might as well be living apart every time ye disappear into yer bedroom every night."

Seeing the longing overwhelming his beautiful face, she felt her bones melt, and she swayed closer. _Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ, I love him so much._ She was tired of pushing him away. "I'd love that, Jamie."

Relief showing in his eyes, his thumb came up to trace the bottom of her lip. "Good," he whispered, his gaze dipping to her mouth. "I dinna ken what time I'll be finished. I'm making a few trial desserts for ye to taste tomorrow. Maybe, I'll bring it home tonight instead and feed ye. Ye can give me yer verdict then."

"I can't wait." She wanted to say so much, but his closeness was distracting her a lot, making the words she was formulating in her head become jumbled. Mouth inches apart, they were breathing into each other's space. "I-I'll, see you later then."

"Aye." He moved quickly, sucking her bottom lip into his mouth and letting it go with a pop. "Go now before I carry ye out of here." He pushed her gently away and slapped her bottom, chuckling softly.

Her face blushing profusely, she quickly left the room, before she too got carried away. _We have time tonight._

..........

Later on the evening, Jamie texted Claire he would be home later than expected. Without it being mentioned, Claire knew he would be stopping by Lallybroch after work to check on Annalise. 

Sighing, she joined Geillis who was perched on the kitchen bar stool. She had Latin jazz playing in the background, as she opened a bottle of Tequila she had brought back from a holiday in Mexico a year ago. 

Claire nodded when Geillis offered her a shot. They had been both busy that day helping the service staff at the hotel prepare the banquet hall for the grand re-opening gala dinner. Knowing Jamie won't be home for another two hours or more, she needed to get out of the house. The last few nights, when she was not at work, had been spent cooped up in her room.

Ever since she found out about the death threats, Jamie and Willie had asked her, _more like prohibited,_ not to go to the pub or anywhere at night on her own. Even if she was to be accompanied by Geillis and it was only down the road from their residence, they insisted it wasn't wise. They begged until she agreed to do as she was told, at least until Ned Gowan came up with something concrete from his investigation or one of the brothers was there to accompany her.

Geillis had been an angel, _bless her,_ and had stayed with her most nights, either watching TV or playing board games. But with the Grand Re-Opening, two nights away, Claire badly wanted to unwind and let her hair loose, but not within the confines of her four walls.

A few shots later, tipsy and giggling, they decided to get dressed and walk down the pub, after scribbling a note for Jamie. _To hell with it if Jamie got mad._ She needed this, and the pub was just down the road. _We live in a small village, what could possibly happen?_

Feeling slightly tiddly, the low voices and the music in the pub relaxed her as soon as they walked in, making her worries and problems seem a little less serious. The alcohol thrummed in her blood, loosening muscles she didn't even realise were taut and strained. And not a moment too soon, they were joined by a new staff from the hotel working alongside Geillis in the Front Office, a French girl called Louise de la Tour. _Nice lass,_ Geillis had said earlier.

" _Oh mon Dieu_ , I want so badly to get laid. It's been a long while," the French girl muttered as she sipped her cocktail from a straw.

Claire's eyes widened. "How long?"

"Let's just say I buy batteries in bulk. I was hoping some strapping Highlander will sweep me off my feet. Romantic, _non?"_

Geillis patted Louise's hand. "Och, dinna fash lass, before ye know it, them lads be after ye. Ye're new around here so there will be quite a few interests."

"Sometimes, self-pleasure requires imagination." Claire sampled her whisky, Jamie's naked upper torso flashing through her mind. She frowned. "Creativity is key."

"Are ye serious? Ye have a gorgeous man at yer disposal if ye wanted some action. Christ, Claire, don't make Jamie wait too long." Geillis waved hello at the two lads from the hotel's kitchen that just walked in, Rupert and Angus.

"I don't intend to." Claire winked at her friend.

"Ah self-pleasure, now we're talking. What creative ideas do you have in mind, Claire?" Louise asked curiosity etched on her beautiful face.

Claire shrugged, attempting casual. "I call it the Facetime boogie. You know, I orgasmed while we watched each other...mmm."

Louise spat her drink across the table. " _Merde!_ Masturbate you m-mean on Facetime? I would rather go to my grave with my hymen intact, _merci beaucoup._ For me, it's my dildo or real sex."

Geillis picked up a napkin and dried herself off. "Weel, I'd only do it on Facetime with someone I know, not with some random stranger in the internet.."

"Can we talk about something else? Two of the girls that used to pick on me from school just walked in." Claire puffed out a breath, blowing a stray curl out of her face. It was Laoghaire MacKenzie and Geneva Dunsany from her class in high school, her worst nightmare while growing up. They were standing by the bar, their gazes sweeping through the pub while at the same time hugging and kissing people they knew in greeting. _Oh God, they haven't changed._

Louise quirked an eyebrow waiting for an explanation, confusion spreading on her face.

"What Claire is trying to say is ...bitches alert." Geillis nodded her head towards the bar. From the way, the two girls were looking at Claire, gave her a fairly good idea who they were.

Louise pursed her lips. "Aaah, I understand," She gave Claire a sympathetic squeeze on a hand, before giving her a warning look." _Bordel de merde_ , they're coming!" she announced as she saw the subjects of their conversation making their way to their table.

Geillis simply smiled while Claire mentally braced herself.

"Ooh lookie, lookie, who do we have here? Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp. The Sassenach is back. I'm surprised the Frasers took you back into their folds," the blonde hair lass called Laoghaire mocked, her perfectly over made-up face breaking into a sneer. "And here I thought, ye were gone for good."

"Hello, Laoghaire," Claire smiled before taking a swig from her whisky. "Please do me a favour and pick on someone with the same level of IQ as you. It's a shame really, you're such a pretty girl. It's bloody too bad, your personality and intelligence can't be photoshopped."

Covering their mouths, Louise and Geillis hiccupped and giggled, as they watched the verbal battle unfold.

"Ye _hoor_ !" Laoghaire hissed, bringing her face down to the table, so none of the other customers in the bar could hear. "Ye think ye're clever, aye? So brave now that ye have yer _hoor_ pals with ye."

Claire was unfazed despite her tipsy state as she stared back at Laoghaire, unwilling to back down.

Her friend Geneva pulled her back. "That's enough, Laoghaire." And then she turned to her. "Hi, Claire. Congratulations. I heard you're the new F&B manager at the Manor." There was a hint of snide in her remark. "Oh, and you bagged one of the Fraser lads. I'm surprised really as you never had luck with the boys back in high school. What happened? The Frasers took pity on you?"

" _Va te faire enculer!"_ Louise cursed in French under her breath, bracing herself to attack Geneva, but Geillis pulled her back.

Claire inwardly winced as Geneva's words stung at her side. "No, I never had luck with the boys in high school, Geneva. I suppose it's rather a good thing that I didn't run about draping myself over them. So I guess no one can really accuse me of being promiscuous and sluttish as opposed to those who had better luck than me."

Geneva's eyes turned to daggers. 

"Listen, girls," Geillis intervened in an unusually calm voice. Turning to Laoghaire and Geneva, she resumed. "I dinna ken who ye are but if ye have a problem here, write the problem on a piece of paper, fold it, and shove it up yer shite holes, aye? I know that everyone is allowed to act stupid once in a while, but ye're really abusing that privilege."

Geneva laughed. "Hey, Ginger, this has nothing to do with you. So stay out of it." She faced Claire before walking away. "See you around, Claire and mind to give my regards to Jamie."

"See you both around," Claire replied, trying her hardest to keep a straight face. "Wishing your evening to be as pleasant as you are."

Instead of replying, Laoghaire and Geneva rewarded them with a one-finger salute as they walked away and headed to the bar.

"Christ what a couple of imbeciles. I can't believe there are still people like them. Ye would think bullies would outgrow their meanness," Geillis fumed, her eyes almost bulging out with disdain.

"Never mind girls. We're here to have fun, _oui?_ Let's forget about them." Louise waved the waitress for another round of drinks. "This round is on me." She looked over Claire's shoulder toward the bar area, nearer to the front end. "And tonight might be my lucky night. There is a table full of beautiful men over there you would not believe."

Geillis waved her hand. "Christ, no men, please. Girls' night tonight!"

Mischief rolled out across Claire's face, forgetting Jamie might be looking for her. "You're both right. We're here to have fun and just us girls. Once the hotel is officially open, God knows when we'll have another evening like this."

"We need to do something crazy, _oui?"_

Claire hiccupped. "Karaoke?" Behind Louise, she watched as two bar staff hooking up microphones and unrolling the projection screen. Some customers were already writing down their song choices.

"Oh no! I can't sing!" Louise complained.

"Christ, Claire! Is that the best idea ye can come up with?"

"Jesus, why is nobody enthralled with my karaoke idea? Where's the fun girls?"

Geillis gulped down her drink when Claire gave her a pleading look. "Oh, fuck! Fine! One song! I dinna think ye would include me."

Claire didn't waste time dragging Geillis at the rear end of the bar. "C'mon, let's sing that song from the Pussycat Dolls ...you know the one. _"_

Relieved she wasn't being hauled to the stage, Louise sat back and whistled through her fingers. _"Allez, allez, Claire et Geillis!!"_ she cheered from her seat.

Teetering towards the makeshift stage, Claire and Geillis handed their request to the staff handling the sound equipment.

They were surprised when they were ushered first. "Ye're up ladies," the DJ announced with a wink, handing them both a microphone each.

Geillis face went white. "Oh, fuck!" she said out the side of her mouth. "Here goes nothing. I thought we'd have time for one more drink before we did this."

"Just shut up and sing. Oh, God, I'm so drunk."

Their song selection popped up on the screen, accompanied by whistles from the audience. With strong lights glaring in front of them, Claire couldn't make out the faces in the pub, but she could hear Laoghaire and Geneva somewhere chanting the rap song, _Who Let the Dogs Out._ Ignoring the taunts, Claire and Geillis launched into the song that started with the lines, _Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?_

..........

After work and seeing to Annalise in Lallybroch, Jamie headed to the pub. He had wanted to go to Claire immediately, but the boys from the kitchen, including Willie and Murtagh, badgered him to come for at least one drink. Since his sister's fiance, Ian Murray would be there too, he reluctantly agreed. _Alright, one drink!_

Of all days to be coerced to go to for a drink, it had to be on the day he could finally spend time with Claire. The pub was quite busy for the middle of the week, teeming mostly with staffs from the hotel.

"Hey, Jamie lad, why ye so quiet?" Rupert, one of the kitchen cooks asked.

Angus, also a kitchen staff, raised his pint to his lips. "Claire's not talking to him, that's why."

Everyone on their table laughed, accompanied by a few back slaps.

Murtagh raised an eyebrow. "I thought I saw ye both snogging after the meeting?"

Jamie just nodded with a half-smile. He didn't want to talk about Claire in front of the lads, especially because she had been the topic of most conversation ever since she came back from Switzerland. Her return had piqued a lot of interest in the village, mostly from single men, and Jamie didn't like it one bit.

Looking inquisitive, Ian tipped his beer bottle in Jamie's direction. "In all the years I've known ye, these last few days is the first time I've seen ye mope so much over a girl. If she's back to talking to ye again, what are ye doing here?"

Jamie could barely hear Ian over the singing that had started at the back of the pub. _Christ, Karaoke night!_ He just remembered. "Aye, I'll be off soon. Claire is waiting for me."

"I'm heading home too," Willie joined in, downing the last of his pint. "Need to get up early for the meat delivery tomorrow."

As if on cue, Jamie shot to his feet. "Right lads, sorry to make this short. Another night perhaps once the hotel is running." He dug into his pocket to retrieve some pound notes, frowning as he realised almost every man in the bar had started cheering and whistling. He had been thinking so much about Claire, it had escaped his notice that most male customers were stood on their feet, facing the rear end of the bar. "What the fuck is going on?"

Following his brother, Jamie went to see what the commotion was all about. 

_Sassenach!_

Claire, along with Geillis, stood on the makeshift stage under the bright spotlights singing into the microphones. She was wearing a white body-hugging turtleneck dress that went down just above her knees paired with knee-high black boots. Thanks to the spotlight, her black bra and panties were visible through the material even though it was a winter dress. And beside her, Geillis was gyrating to the song, as she sang the refrain _Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?_ with a sultry look in her eyes.

Fists clenching, Jamie pushed aside the standing customers that blocked his path and approached the stage, with Willie in tow behind him.

"Sassenach!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your continuous feedback, kudos and support. You guys rock! 😀❤️


	14. Off Key

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously in Girls Gone Bad...
> 
> He had been thinking so much about Claire, it had escaped his notice that most male customers were stood on their feet, facing the rear end of the bar. "What the fuck is going on?"
> 
> Following his brother, Jamie went to see what the commotion was all about. 
> 
> Claire, along with Geillis, stood on the makeshift stage under the bright spotlights singing into the microphones. She was wearing a white body-hugging turtleneck dress that went down just above her knees paired with knee-high black boots. Thanks to the spotlight, her black bra and panties were visible through the material even though it was a winter dress. And beside her, Geillis was gyrating to the song, as she sang the refrain Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me? with a sultry look in her eyes.
> 
> Fists clenching, Jamie pushed aside the standing customers that blocked his path and approached the stage, with Willie in tow behind him.
> 
> "Sassenach!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your feedback in the previous chapter. Wishing you all happy reading!💖💖💖
> 
> *****************************  
> WARNING: SEXUAL CONTENT  
> *****************************

Alcohol might have dulled her sense of self-consciousness, but Claire was having too much of a great time to care. She focused on trying to keep up with the tune and lyrics scrolling on the blue screen of the electronic feed. Her awareness was far from the hoots and catcalls coming from her audience. There was only her, the music, and of course, Geillis, bumping and grinding to the song they sang.

Momentarily staring into the harsh stage lights that blurred faces and turned patrons into silhouettes, at the front she saw Frank. His jaw had gone slack, and his expression was a mixture of surprise and awe as an appreciative grin started to spread across his face. Back in high school, she wondered what she would have given to see that look thrown at her by him. Now it meant nothing. He was just another guy she used to know who happened to be in the same place as her. Nevertheless, familiarity made Claire winked at him before turning her attention to the lyrics once more.

 _Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?_ She sang. 

Absorbed in the music, it took a while for Claire to notice the gradual hush that descended upon the pub. Those singing along trailed off to silence. Geillis had ceased her singing and dancing too and instead, muttered an _"Uh-oh,"_ onto the microphone. Confused, she stood still, as the music continued to play in the background without their voices, and the stage lights dimmed slightly making their surrounding and the people below her more visible.

Following Geillis' line of vision, Claire's eyes slowly trailed downward to find Jamie at the foot of the stage, glaring at her. And not far behind him stood Willie.

Claire blinked twice. _Oh, shite!_ She saw Jamie plucked a tumbler of unattended whisky from a nearby table, and without taking his eyes off her, downed it with one gulp. _What a sight!_ His copper hair was dishevelled as if he'd ran his hands through it repeatedly, and a cord of vein strained out on the side of his neck. His fists were clenching and unclenching, and his jaws snapped side to side as if he was grinding his molars. Under his leather jacket, he wore a grey t-shirt paired with jeans, and he looked like a shuddering mass of bunched muscles. 

"Scram, Jamie. You're cramping my style," she told him and the entire pub, unaware she was speaking onto the microphone. "And interrupting my singing."

Before she knew what was happening, Jamie climbed on stage and grabbed her elbow. "What the hell are ye doin'?" he hissed. "I can see yer knickers from down there." Shrugging off his jacket, he clumsily draped it over her shoulders, almost knocking her backwards.

Confused at his revelation, she looked down at her attire and shrugged. As far as she was concerned, she was dressed modestly, so she couldn't understand what the fuss was about. Maybe Jamie was as tipsy as her, she thought. "You saw my undies? I bought them for you. Do you like them?" she whispered, forgetting she still held the microphone. Her eyes widened when everyone around them, howled and hooted.

Jamie groaned. He grabbed the microphone not too gently off her hand and tried to steer her down the stage. "We're going home now, and we're going to have a long talk."

"I don't want to go home yet."

"If ye don't come with me, I'll throw ye over my shoulders in front of these people. Would ye like that?"

She yanked her arms back. "You're bloody tetchy, Jamie! You used to be fun."

"Sassenach, ye're drunk!"

A new song started to play through the speakers, drawing her attention to the screen. Claire's lips broadened into a wicked smile as a devilish idea popped into her head. "And you have the microphone. House rules state whoever has the microphone sings. Too bad Jamie, you have to sing now."

"Aye, that's right!" the DJ chimed in, winking at Claire, as he enjoyed the show unfolding on stage.

Jamie frowned at the DJ before turning his attention to Claire once more. "If ye think I'm going to sing because of some stupid house rules, think again," Jamie retorted, leaning in close, their noses almost touching.

"If you sing, I will let you take me home. How about that?" Claire dared, feeling a tad bit bad as she looked at Jamie looking broody, frustrated and devastatingly handsome, but she couldn't resist. She promised herself when they get home later, she'll give him something to smile about.

Jamie scowled in response as he drew out an infuriated sigh when everyone around them "ooohhed," cheered and applauded. The staff from the hotel, including his mates, were already on their feet, chanting his name repeatedly. Obviously, they have heard the challenge uttered over the speakers.

"Well, Jamie me' lad, what is it going to be?" She quirked an eyebrow at him and folded her arms in front of her, waiting for his reply. _Christ, what's up with me today? I'm slaying dragons left, right and centre._

His eyes darkened. "Ye're never going to make this easy for me are ye?"

She gave him a half-hearted shove on his chest. "Do you think because we've known each other so long, you don't have to try harder? So, what is it going to be?"

 _Jamie! Jamie! Jamie!_ The chant was relentless, and the crowds' chorus became louder.

He uttered curses under his breath as he realised there was no way out. "Ye'll sorely pay for this, Sassenach," he muttered, as he took his place at the centre of the platform, resulting in loud cheers and feet stomping.

Claire smiled and blew him a kiss as she stepped off the stage to join Geillis and Louise, who were both smirking up at him like a couple of loons.

As the lyrics came up on the screen, Jamie began to sing or at least tried to, in a discordant tone and cracked baritone voice. In between verses wherein he sang something about being a virgin, touched for the very first time, he launched ominous looks in her direction with foreboding promises in his eyes. His warning glances only resulted in making her grin wider. Behind her stood the kitchen staff from the hotel, including Murtagh and Willie who were doubled over laughing as they watched, wiping tears from their eyes. After a minute passed, as much as she was enjoying herself, she decided to put him out of misery.

Still tipsy and wobbly on her feet, Claire climbed back on to the stage intending to help Jamie finished the song, but the look of relief he cast her way, gave her a sudden urge to kiss him. Instead of singing along, she rose onto her tiptoes and wrapped her arms around his neck, taking him by surprise. As she kissed him, the whole pub erupted into uproarious applause and shrill whistles, with some of the customers banging their hands on their tables.

Jamie tried to reel himself back, seemingly conscious of their spectators, but he found himself encircling his arms around her waist and lifting her off the ground, instead. "If ye think I'm letting ye off easy because of the stunt ye just pulled, ye have another thing coming, Sassenach," he growled into her ears, barely audible among the whoops, whistles and catcalls being levelled at them.

"Is that so?" Unfazed by his warning, she planted another resounding kiss on his lips, before nuzzling her face against his neck. "Jamie?"

"Hmmm?"

"Take me home now, please."

His answering laugh vibrated against her chest. "Och aye, ye're definitely coming home now. I hate to think what state ye'll be in tomorrow morning." Unable to help himself, he lowered his head to kiss her deeply and hungrily. "Christ, Sassenach, I'm still mad at ye, but I miss this..." he muttered against her lips. Powerless to pull away from her embrace, he swooped in for another kiss, almost crushing her against him.

"Hello there, the both of ye! Time to get a room, eh?" Geillis' voice pierced through her daze as she brought them back to the reality of their surrounding. 

Jamie extracted himself hesitantly but kept his eyes locked on Claire. "Shall we?"

As if waking up from a dream, Claire suddenly became conscious of every pair of eyes trained on them, making her blushed profusely, as the excitement of the evening started to wear off the effects of the alcohol.

Noticing her sudden discomfort and not waiting for her to answer, Jamie reached down to take her hands and took her out of the spotlight, leading them towards the exit. As they went through the crowd, the customers in the pub continued to cheer, and shout banters. Except for Laoghaire and Geneva who regarded her with open contempt to which she ignored, too muddled to care. Glancing over her shoulders, she saw Geillis and Louise following alongside Willie, conversing animatedly.

Once everyone had piled out of the pub, they all stood there for a while laughing over the incident.

Claire turned her head on Jamie's shoulder and groaned. "Jesus, I'll never hear the end of this for as long as I live, right? Please, say I'm wrong in that assumption."

Geillis shook her head. "Naah, you only got weeks of this coming. After that, you will have done something to better tonight." She paused and changed the subject suddenly, as she looked at Louise and Willie. "Right, naebody drives home tonight. We've all had a few to drink, so I suggest we all head over to the house. Louise, ye can stay with me in my room and the rest of ye, sort yersel' out," she directed with aplomb.

Stifling a yawn, Louise nodded, too tired to care. "Fine, I'll make breakfast tomorrow then."

"Fine by me," Willie replied. "I need to be in the hotel early in the morning for the delivery so I can jog there and back in time for breakfast."

Jamie shifted besides Claire impatiently. "Willie, ye can take the spare bedroom. Claire and I will..."

Claire looked up at Jamie and frowned.

"Oh, no Sassenach. Ye don't get to frown at me like that after what ye made do there in the pub." He turned his attention to the rest of the group. "Right, that's settled then. You lot walk ahead. I need to speak to Claire in private."

Before Claire could say anymore, Geillis, Louise and Willie were already walking away, chatting among themselves. Without a word, Jamie backed her into a darkened alleyway and pinned her against the wall with his body.

"Right, Jamie, I know you're still mad at me. I'm sorry and not sorry because I just wanted to..."

Her words trailed off as Jamie dipped his head and bit the flesh just beneath her ear. "Aye, I'm still mad at ye, Sassenach." He slid his mouth up and down the column of her neck as one hand reached down to knead her bottom. "I told ye to stay put, and you didnae listen. And I find ye in the pub singing and moving seductively to a roomful of men. I didn't like it one bit to see those men looking at ye like ye were their last meal. What am I supposed to do about that?"

"I have no idea," she breathed, her head falling back against the wall, all of a sudden feeling dizzy. She wasn't sure if it was the alcohol or Jamie's kisses making her head spin. "You tell me."

"Maybe I ought to put ye over my knees and smack that wee bottom of yers." He brought his mouth down, his tongue twining with her own as one hand gave her arse a firm slap, making her squeak and jump.

"James Fraser, you will do no such thing!" She tried to sound firm, but the tone of her voice didn't sound convincing in her ears. Instead, she curled her fingers around his collar and pulled his head down for a deeper kiss.

With a groan, he heaved her off the ground with his hips, thrusting once so she could feel him. "And on top of all that, I saw that wink ye gave to Frank, ye wee flirt. How do ye think I feel about that, huh, Sassenach?" he muttered, licking her bottom lip.

Sucking in her breath, she tried to suppress a moan. "Jamie, it didn't mean anything. You know that. Take me home now, please." Claire knew if they stayed where they were any longer, Jamie was bound to take her right there and then.

Jamie swallowed a curse. With a stiff nod, he stepped back and grabbed her hand once more, pulling her down the sidewalk. They walked in electrically charged silence as they made their way to the house. 

Once they got there, the house was silent, and bar the light from the kitchen, everywhere else was in the dark. Obviously, everyone had retired to their rooms to nurse the effects of intoxication, at least in Geillis' and Louise's case. They didn't stop to linger in the living area to see if anyone was awake, and the next thing Claire knew, they were in her bedroom tumbling onto the bed, Jamie's hard body coming down on top of her. 

Planting both elbows on both sides of her head, Jamie looked into her eyes as he wedged himself between her thighs, rocking them both and sending pleasure bolting through her centre. Claire could still see a hint of anger in his eyes, but it was quickly diminishing to be replaced with a haze of lust. She knew there was still hard conversations to be had between them, but for now, it can wait.

She wiggled her hips underneath him as she pulled the hem of her dress to her waist. "Please, kiss me now, Jamie," she pleaded softly.

He groaned as he latched his mouth to her bottom lip, sucking at the flesh. "Christ, Sassenach, ye have nae idea what it felt like to see those men looking at ye. It felt like my guts were being torn out. I wanted to throw them all out of the pub one by one, including my brother," he rasped into her mouth, pulling back by the barest of inches. His hips continued to grind against her as she wrapped her legs around him. "Ye redeemed yersel' kissing me in front of those wankers. At least, they know ye're mine."

"Jamie, I'm sorry. There's been no one else but you right from the start. Trust that, please. Oh God please, don't stop kissing me. I'm yours. Touch me now, please," she whimpered as she tried to kiss the hollow of his neck. She knew she was speaking incoherently.

"Sssh, I'm so sorry too." Reaching for her right breast, he stroke his thumb against her nipple as it strained against the material of her bra and her dress. "I shouldn't be mad at ye at all when I know I'm causing ye heartache by bringing Annalise to Lallybroch. But I'm such a jealous fool, and I cannae help it when it comes to ye."

Claire thrashed her head to the side as his hand found their way between her thighs. "It's alright, Jamie. All is forgiven. Take me now, please."

Seeing the urgency in her eyes, Jamie rose from his position and reached into his back pocket. He froze. _Oh, fuck!_

Bewildered, Claire stopped her movements underneath him when she saw the frustration on his face. "Jamie, what is it?"

"Condoms. I don't have one with me."

"What? Why?"

His eyes narrowed on her as he sat back on his heels. "Weel, we haven't slept together since I came back from France and I dinna think tonight would be the night. And besides, I wasn't exactly prowling around for someone else to warrant having one in my pocket." He shook his head, somberly.

"Oh well." Claire pushed herself off the bed and started taking off her clothes and kicking off her boots.

"Christ Claire, what are ye doing?" he asked in a strangled groan when he saw her semi-undress state. "We can't. Not if I can't protect ye." Sweat started to break on his forehead. "Are ye trying to kill me?"

"What?" She unhooked her bra from behind and let it fall down her arms. "I'm getting ready for bed. We'll just have to do it another night."

He nodded, looking like a schoolboy denied his sweets. Then his eyes lit up as an idea registered on his face, and he jerked his thumb towards the door. "Erm, maybe I could ask the girls or my brother. Maybe they..."

Claire's eyes widened as his meaning sunk in. "Hold that thought, Jamie. No way you are going out there to ask my friends or Willie for condoms. Good God, if you did that, I'll never recover, trust me." She cringed as she tried to imagine it. Not a moment too soon, it was her turn to have an idea. "But there's a vending machine in the pub's loo. I think it sells condoms."

To her amusement, before she could finish her sentence, he was already heading for the door as he buttoned his jeans. The pub wasn't very far, and he should be back in a matter of minutes. She smiled as she listened to Jamie, walked briskly through the house as he made his way outside. She could hear his boots crunching on the gravel as he jogged in the direction of the pub. Throwing back the duvet, she slipped in and flopped back onto the pillow. She closed her eyes to rest for a bit until Jamie returned, but then within a minute, tiredness took over, and she fell asleep.

..........

 _For fuck sake, I've only been gone for five minutes. What have I done to deserve this?_

He had returned to find a sleeping Claire sprawled naked in bed, her wild curls hiding her face. Jamie wanted to cry. Burying his face in his hands, he groaned miserably into the silent room. In as much as he desired to wake her up, he refrained from doing so, knowing she had had a long day at work followed by a very interesting evening at the pub.

_Nought can be done now._

Feeling restless, he dragged his T-shirt over his head and unbuckled his jeans before placing them neatly on the chair. Taking out his phone from his pant's pocket, he noticed a text message from Ned Gowan's secretary. It was sent 30 minutes ago. _So late at night?_ It said the lawyer wanted to see him and Willie, tomorrow when he returned from London. He had some news.

Placing the phone on the bedside table, he gently rolled Claire onto her side and stretched out behind her. It felt the most natural thing to have her sleeping form against him. Tomorrow, they would be having some serious discussions. And tomorrow, hopefully, Ned Gowan's news would bring home some clarity. But that's another day's problem. For now, his main concern was trying to get some sleep with his torturous erection.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you've enjoyed this chapter. Once again, thank you very much for reading my story, and although I don't reply on some comments, please know that I appreciate your feedback. It's something I look forward to and motivates me to write.💖💖💖


	15. Breakfast In Bed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously in Off Key...
> 
> For fuck sake, I've only been gone for five minutes. What have I done to deserve this? 
> 
> He had returned to find a sleeping Claire sprawled naked in bed, her wild curls hiding her face. Jamie wanted to cry. Burying his face in his hands, he groaned miserably into the silent room. In as much as he desired to wake her up, he refrained from doing so, knowing she had had a long day at work followed by a very interesting evening at the pub.
> 
> Nought can be done now.
> 
> Feeling restless, he dragged his T-shirt over his head and unbuckled his jeans before placing them neatly on the chair. Taking out his phone from his pant's pocket, he noticed a text message from Ned Gowan's secretary. It was sent 30 minutes ago. So late at night? It said the lawyer wanted to see him and Willie, tomorrow when he returned from London. He had some news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wishing you all happy reading!❤️
> 
> *************************************************  
> WARNING: VERY VERY EXPLICIT SEXUAL CONTENT  
> **************************************************

It was that sort of sleep that eludes a man when the object of one's unrequited wood cannot settle in one position. Or so, Jamie thought. Thanks to Claire's alcohol overindulgence, she was having a fitful sleep, and for every restless movement she made against Jamie, his body responded swiftly and painfully. And when eventually he managed to regain his composure by focusing on thoughts that didn't involve Claire, she would wiggle her pert arse upon his throbbing cock sending his blood to run south all over again.

Giving up on sleep, he gave a sour grunt as he gingerly slid out of bed, careful not to rouse Claire. It was 4:30 in the morning and in a few hours he had to go to work. Listlessly, Jamie made his way towards the bathroom in his boxer briefs, stopping beneath the metal pull-up bar he recently installed in the doorway. With the intense need to blow off steam, he threw himself into a set of 20 pull-ups, bending his legs and lifting them back, out of deference to his height.

Thinking back to the karaoke incident, Jamie winced inwardly at his jealousy streaked behaviour towards Claire. If he was outright truthful to himself, his anger from last night stemmed more from her being ogled by the overly keen hot-blooded males in the pub than her doing things as she pleased, in defiance of him and Willie. Who could blame the men in the pub, though? She was stunningly beautiful, smart, adventurous. In spite of the vulnerabilities that lurked behind those fetching eyes, she was courageous and stubborn when face to face with adversities. She was compassionate to a fault too, and not once did she take the situation with Annalise against him, nor did she ever complain about her. Which led to the realisation that he had no right to feel the way he did when she had never consciously given him a reason to. All she ever did was blossom into a perfect flower that every man wanted to covet, including his brother. _Damn Willie!_

When they were growing up, Jamie had been the centre of Claire's world, at least when she wasn't thinking of or talking about Frank. They were both thick as thieves, and he had her all to himself without the fear someone might take her away from him. He had often secretly revelled in the fact that Frank didn't reciprocate Claire's romantic feelings and that none of the boys from the school had paid her attention. But now the tables were turned.

Even though Jamie had been popular in school and girls gravitated towards him like moths to a flame, he had only eyes for Claire. Her interest in Frank was the only reason he never professed his love for her and had fervently hoped that one day her feelings towards him would be more than brotherly. And what had he done to inspire a change of heart from Claire? Instead of waiting for her, Jamie had thrown himself into meaningless relationships, a tiny part of him hoping she would be jealous enough to kick up a fuss. Well, it turned out the joke was on him when Frank suddenly started paying attention, and that Claire had been thrilled about it, didn't sit well in his guts.

The fact that she was still young, and had just started to come into her own in leaps and bounds, made Jamie wonder if he would be enough for her. He loved the Highlands, and she, traipsing around the world, just like his brother. The only thing keeping her in Scotland was her promise to work for the Fraser Manor Inn after she was done with her studies. At least for a while. How long before she becomes restless and starts yearning for adventures? Could she see him as her husband in the future, or does the endless possibilities beyond Scotland, would have her wanting more? 

He wanted her to thrive and be confident in herself, and to pursue whatever dreams she had her sights on. And he could only hope that he was part of those dreams. It was often said first loves tend not to be the last and _damn it_ , he wanted to be her last and forever. And he understood that their present relationship was no guarantee her love for him was for keeps. Especially not when better men than him like Willie, having secretly set their sights on her. The very idea made him crazy.

_Get a grip man, you have her now, don't you?_

Jamie realised he had gone well passed his set of 20 pull-ups and let go of the bar. Sides heaving, he dropped forward and rested both hands on his knees. To his dismay, all his thinking about Claire only intensified his need for her. Feeling annoyed, he headed for the shower hoping the cold spray he was about to inflict upon himself would assuage his exigent member.

Although the icy cold water helped, the relief didn't last long. It was still dark outside, and Jamie had planned to catch some sleep for at least an hour. But as he re-entered the bedroom, a towel wrapped around his hips, his weary eyes landed on Claire's naked body. Her creamy white skin looked like silk against the glow of the warm light coming from the bedside lamp. The duvet had been haphazardly pushed aside, and she had her back to him, revealing her soft curves and the swell of her buttocks. As if hypnotised, he let the towel fall to the floor and moved forward to her sleeping form, consuming her with hungry eyes.

Dropping onto the bed next to her, he couldn't resist trailing his fingers over her hips and cupping her backside. He bit his lip in pleasure as the skin quivered under his hand, drawing out a soft sigh from her lips. _Perfect and gorgeous in every way._ With his pulse racing, he rested his head against hers, burying his nose in her sunshine scented curls.

Claire stirred and turned on her back to look at him. "Jamie?"

He looked down at her and groaned. Innocent curiosity was written all over her expression. This lass, who had consumed his mind and his heart almost all his life, had given him so much. He wanted to give her so much more. His desperation must have been apparent on his face because her eyes were suddenly wide as saucers.

Her gaze dropped to their close naked bodies when he pressed his straining erection against her hip, her face reddening at the realisation. The drunken bravado from the night before was gone and dissipated. She reached for the duvet to cover herself, but Jamie grabbed her wrist to prevent her and shook his head. It amazed him that she could still blush at the sight of their unclothed bodies together.

"Jamie, what do you need?" she whispered hoarsely, one hand reaching to touch his face.

 _Christ, how could she look adorable and sexy at the same time?_ His throat constricted when he tried to smile, one finger tracing the contour of her mouth. "Let me love ye, Sassenach. Be mine as I am yours." Then his finger travelled very slowly, further down, between her breasts, before his hand skimmed over her belly to cup her heat in his palm. "When ye go to work later, I want ye to know what my love feels like all day. Tell me ye're mine," he murmured, lowering his head to catch a nipple between his teeth. His tongue swirled and sucked the peak into his mouth, before trailing across to her other breast, to gently bite the underside.

"Oh, G-God, Jamie!" she gasped, hands running through his hair and down his tensed shoulder.

His mouth progressed to her exposed throat, licking and nibbling the smooth skin, as he relished the sounds she made. Shifting his position, he tilted his head to brush his lips against hers. "I need reminding, Claire. I haven't touched ye since I left for France and I plan to make up for that now. Tell me ye're mine and that ye want me; otherwise, I'll stop." He circled her sweet spot with his middle finger, watching as she tossed her head back with abandonment. The sight made his jaw go rigid as some chemical was released in his brain, heightening his senses. "Tell me now. I need to hear it." Before she could respond, he sunk two fingers inside her, making her whimper. The moisture and heat between her legs sent his head spiralling out of control. _She needs me. She wants me._

Looking like she's completely robbed of her senses and oblivious to anything but the feel of him, Claire could only make unintelligible sounds as Jamie brought his weight down on hers. He marvelled at the sight of her. _So beautiful, my lass. My lass. Mine!_ Bringing his mouth down for a hungry kiss, his tongue mated with hers as his knees gently parted her thighs. When they finally came up for air, his lips travelled down over her neck and cleavage, leaving a trail of dampness on her skin as his mouth floated further down and down. He could feel the sting on his back where Claire had clawed him, sending a ripple of satisfaction surging through him. 

He was torn aching to plunge into her and needing to talk. Or hold her against him and simply be. Doing all those things at the same time seemed like too much like it would rip him apart. So he continued to run his hand over her roughly and breathed.

Delving between her legs, he fastened his mouth to the core of her need. He sucked while she went wild underneath him, writhing with such ferocity that he had to grind his cock against the mattress repressing the urge to dive into her. Her sobs registered only dimly, the taste of her so intoxicating, so sweet, it pulled him into a state of single-mindedness. _Brand her. Make her forever yours_. Jamie lost himself as he licked the folds between his thighs, his tongue pushing inside while his fingers rubbed her sensitive nub. Claire's fingers ripped at his hair and dug into his back as her body spasmed into climax, her legs quivering against his head. His desire to make her come more was interspersed with her plea, her voice breaking through his lustful fog, making him conscious to her needs.

"Oh, Christ, Jamie, please, I need you inside me. I want you. I need you. I love you," she cried, her hands tugging at his hair.

Kissing her sensitive core for the final time, he reached for the condom on the bedside table. There wasn't an ounce of finesse left inside him as he climbed over her squirming body and shoved her legs even wider while rolling the protective latex over his aching length. 

With a single thrust of his hips, he immersed himself deep inside her, swallowing her scream with an urgent kiss. "Ssshh, Sassenach," he breathed against her parted lips. "Ye're so beautiful, my heart breaks a little every time I look at ye. I love yer eyes..." He leaned down to kiss her eyelids, swallowing expletive as she arched her back. "This mouth ... this nose ... this heart. All that ye are is all that I will ever need. I wish ye could feel what happens inside me whenever I look at ye." His whole body shook as he withdrew his cock and then sunk into her heat again. "Take me, Sassenach, all of me. Put yer hands all over me. I want to feel all of ye."

When her hands stroked down his back, moist golden eyes looking at him with so much tenderness, he made a strangled noise. 

"I don't want your heart to break, Jamie. You know I'm yours. Please...now." The simple command choked off his oxygen, relinquishing whatever was left of his self-restraint. 

Bracing his elbows on both sides of her, he rocked his hips between her legs, moving his length in rhythmic waves. When Claire's eyes became unfocused with desire, he pressed their foreheads together and willed her to look at him. And when she did, the connection he felt for her as he stared into her eyes made him feel raw and exposed. It was what he wanted. He wanted her to see all of him.

"Ye're mine, Sassenach, remember that. Always." He drove into her setting a faster pace, her legs wrapping around him as her inner walls gripped at his cock. She made mewling sounds at the back of her throat, her face a beautiful picture of pain and pleasure. He rammed into her harder, thrusting in and out with abandon as she wildly bucked beneath him. "Oh, God, so beautiful... so good."

His own climax was looming as she began to convulse in her release and her legs contract in its vice-like grip around his waist. He watched her come apart, his heart hammering painfully and overflowing with love. The sight of her shaking, the feel of her made it impossible to hold back any longer. With a final thrust, he crashed into her with a groan, coming with so much intensity, his vision faltered. Wanting to extract every last ounce of their lovemaking, he brought their lips together and kissed her as they gradually recovered from their high. There was a need inside Jamie to prolong the moment, to hold time at bay, and their kisses succeeded in doing that. At least for a little while, until the sun began to peek through the window.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear Readers,  
> I hope you've enjoyed this chapter. I have decided not to include any other scenes in this post as I wanted to dedicate this chapter solely to Jamie and his own vulnerabilities and insecurities.  
> Sorry if there was a lot of graphic scenes of sexual nature.  
> Before you think I'm a perv, in my defence, writing erotic and angst scenes are challenging, but it's a way for me to improve in immersing myself into the characters I have built. I personally think it improves one's writing as it demands the writer to be descriptive and creative with words. I find it easier to write funny scenes like the previous chapter. It was reflected in how quick I was able to update my story.  
> Thanks to my hubby, he shared a bit of input in the writing of the erotic scene, and it gave me a fair idea of what really lurks behind a lusty male's thought.  
> Anyway, thank you all for reading and all your feedback. I have already started writing the next chapter, and I hope to update soon.❤️


	16. Love Complex  (A Valentine Special)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously in Breakfast in Bed...
> 
> "Ye're mine, Sassenach, remember that. Always." He drove into her setting a faster pace, her legs wrapping around him as her inner walls gripped at his cock. She made mewling sounds at the back of her throat, her face a beautiful picture of pain and pleasure. He rammed into her harder, thrusting in and out with abandon as she wildly bucked beneath him. "Oh, God, so beautiful... so good."
> 
> His own climax was looming as she began to convulse in her release and her legs contract in its vice-like grip around his waist. He watched her come apart, his heart hammering painfully and overflowing with love. The sight of her shaking, the feel of her made it impossible to hold back any longer. With a final thrust, he crashed into her with a groan, coming with so much intensity, his vision faltered. Wanting to extract every last ounce of their lovemaking, he brought their lips together and kissed her as they gradually recovered from their high. There was a need inside Jamie to prolong the moment, to hold time at bay, and their kisses succeeded in doing that. At least for a little while, until the sun began to peek through the window.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your feedback and comments from the previous chapter. Wishing you all happy reading! 😀❤️

Claire stirred to the sound of pan hitting the hob, followed by Louise's voice asking how the coffee machine works. A door closing and mugs clacking on a surface followed, permeating her consciousness. Still half asleep, she turned on her side and took a deep inhale of Jamie's masculine scent, letting it carry her to a sensual daydream. His groans against the crook of her neck bombarded her mind, memories of his arousal sliding home inside her one inch at a time. She thought of how he had lost control in the end, while saying crude things in her ear. Just like a man at the end of his tether.

Images of their lovemaking sensitised her skin, enveloping her in static electricity and rousing her to sudden alertness. _Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ, what time is it?_ Claire sat up and looked around, fanning her heated face with her hands. She was about to get out of bed when the door swung open, revealing a barefoot Jamie wearing jeans that hung low on his hips and a worn-in black t-shirt. A dishcloth was tossed carelessly over one shoulder and on one large hand, he balanced a tray of what seemed like breakfast. With finger touseled hair and a lopsided smile, he leaned against the doorjamb and looked at her thoughtfully.

"Oh! You're still here! I thought you'd be at work by now." He didn't reply, the weight of his stare making her self-conscious. "What?" She squashed the urge to fidget.

"I'm trying to decide whether to feed ye or eat ye. The original plan was to kiss ye on your cheek and serve ye muffins and coffee. But that was before, and this is now."

"Oh!" She licked suddenly dry lips. "A-And? Have you decided yet?"

"I can't tell ye, Sassenach, or else I'll have to do it."

She wrapped the bedsheet around her chest, looking for any piece of clothing to wear. "Well, you certainly set the tone," she said, glad that her voice didn't wobble. If she stood up right now, her knees would be another story. "How about some water for a start, huh? I'm parched."

Pushing away from the doorframe, he straightened, kicked the door shut and sauntered to her bedside. After placing the breakfast tray on the bedside table, he sat down next to her. He brought his fingers under her chin and tilted her head up, watching her reaction like a hawk.

"Good morning," he said softly.

"Good morning." Shyly, she slid her hand up his biceps. "What time is it?"

"Seven. Plenty of time." His thumb tugged her lower lip down, looking at it in fascination.

Claire's brain threatened to short-circuit. "Ah, yes. Well, I don't need to be in early." The sexual energy seemed to be sidling around them, and although she wanted to act on it, she knew she needed to get her alcohol-fuzzed bearings first. _Look away from his lips...there's work!_ "I only need to run things over with the service staff and some other finishing touches for tomorrow night and then we're ready to go."

"Sassenach?"

"Hmmm."

"You're pinching my arm."

"Oh! Right. Sorry." Snatching her hand away, she clutched the bedsheet around her and attempted to get out of bed, but he grabbed her by the waist and hauled her onto his lap like she weighed nothing. "I was just going to put something on," she explained, as he settled her against him.

After taking a moment to squeeze her hips, he reached out for a small bottle of water from the breakfast tray, opened it and handed it to her. "Drink," he said hoarsely. He had a crease between his eyebrows that hadn't been there before as he watched her drink greedily. "I know ye'll go out with friends once in a while, Sassenach and I want ye to. But I dinna liked the way those lads at the pub were leering at ye last night. So I'm going to be a bastard about this." He rolled his lips inward, and when he released them, he drew out a heavy sigh. "Can ye save performances like ye did last night for night outs with me? Or at least when yer clothes aren't showing yer knickers."

His possessiveness should have irked her, but the look in his eyes spoke volumes of something more than mere proprietorial behaviour. Understanding that Jamie's tone begged her to agree without equivocation, Claire nodded. "Right, no singing in front of men when my knickers are showing or when I'm not with you," she hiccupped, trying to suppress a smile. His serious expression didn't budge, so she ran a finger over the valley between his eyebrows. "After last night's performance, I'd probably be barred from the pub anyway."

Instead of responding, he reached out for a piece of muffin from the breakfast tray and fed it to her. As if her jaw were on a string, it dropped. Looking at him, she took a bite off the freshly baked sponge cake as she watched him centre his focus absentmindedly on her lips while she chewed.

"Another thing," Jamie said slowly as if he didn't understand the words coming out of his own mouth. "No more flirting with Frank. I know I sound like an ass making these demands of ye. It's not that I don't trust ye. It's just that ... it's ... I see how the other lads look at ye, and I ken what they're thinking because I'm thinking of it too. And..."

Claire placed a hand on Jamie's lips and looked at his confused expression. Or is it pained? This beautiful man, who always seemed to ooze self-confidence, looked shattered and appeared to be struggling with insecurities. She couldn't believe she was the reason for it. "This isn't about Frank, is it? And this isn't about last night?" Placing the bottle of water by the bedside table, she turned to face him. "Speak to me, Jamie."

He brushed her hair over her shoulder. "I ken when ye look at me, ye see a man that Annalise already had, and that she may be carrying my child, is not easy for ye. Ye probably think I have nothing left to offer ye that I haven't given away already." Exhaling on shaky breath, he started to massage the nape of her neck. "Believe me when I tell ye, that no one has touched what I've got inside of me for ye, Sassenach. My heart. It is yers. Always has been and always will be." He reached down and took her hand, placing it in the centre of his chest. "Sometimes, I think of all those wasted years when we could have been together. Still, we were young, and most probably, ma and da wouldn't have approved. But ye waited for me even if ye dinna ken it was us ye were waiting for. And I regret that I didn't wait for ye, knowing already then that I was in love with ye. If there was something I could do to change that, I would try my most damn even if it killed me." He brought his mouth over to her ear, breathing against it. "I still cannae believe ye're with me like this. Us. That I can touch ye and know that ye're mine." 

Her chest felt like a dam about to give way, but she quickly sealed the cracks. So many things were going through her head, but clear, honest words were all she could process at the moment. "Jamie, if you think I would leave you because of Annalise, you're wrong. I understand, believe me."

In one lithe movement, he turned her on his lap so that she was straddling him, his big warm hands resting possessively on her backside. "No, I dinna think that. What I'm trying my hardest to say is, I want ye for keeps, Sassenach. Before I even had ye, no one compared. Now that I have, the thought of being with someone else and ye being with someone else makes me insane. Stupid insane. And unless I can wake up and see ye beside me, I don't want to be there. So I want ye to get it through yer head that I mean business, alright?"

Claire's mouth sought his as she leaned forward to reply with a kiss, rubbing circles on his back. "My mixed feelings about Annalise must have been quite obvious, huh?"

Jamie nodded with a smile. "Speaking of Annalise, I received a text from Ned last night. He wants to speak to Willie and me as soon as he arrives from London. I dinna ken for sure if it's anything..." Jamie trailed off when the door suddenly opened. Of their own accord, Jamie's hands immediately pulled up the bedsheet around Claire's half-naked body.

They both turned to see a nonplussed looking Willie standing at the doorway.

"Oh, sorry! Bad time?" 

Jamie's body coiled in tension as he pulled the sheets further up around Claire. "Fuck sake, Willie! You can't barge in here whenever ye feel like it. Ye're no' in Lallybroch."

"Hey, sorry, ok? Won't happen again." Willie's face was inscrutable, as he continued. "Listen, just had a phone call from Ned. He is on his way to see us, but he is slightly delayed. And Claire, please stay away from Lallybroch. I dinna ken why Ned said that but he was too much in a hurry to explain, so we just have to trust his words. And Jamie, Annalise's documents are all fake. She doesn't have cancer, but she is ill. Very ill. The swelling in her belly is not pregnancy. It's liver cirrhosis. So when ye see her later to check up on her, act normal. We don't want her suspecting anything."

"Oh, my God!" Claire breathed. "But she is ill, Willie. She still needs medical attention, doesn't she?" Claire couldn't believe what she was hearing. She tried to turn around, but Jamie kept her still.

Tightening his hold on her, he held her gaze. "Sassenach, we'll worry about that and please do as Willie says. Don't go near Lallybroch. Ned must have found something, so please, stay away from there. Promise me, please?"

"How about ma and da?"

"I'll give them a call now. Promise me, Sassenach, ye will no' go anywhere Lallybroch. Please?" 

The brothers were holding their breath as they waited for Claire's reply, determined to secure an agreement from her. They knew her too well as she was likely to be too stubborn to heed their advice. 

"I promise, ok? Happy now? But please, let me know what's happening. I don't want to be left in the dark, especially if this concerns me."

Jamie nodded to Willie, who then left without saying another word, leaving them alone once again. "I promise I won't leave ye in the dark, Sassenach. As soon as I know something, I will let ye know." Standing up, he lifted her by the waist, so they were stood facing each other. "And I meant what I said earlier. This. Us. For keeps. Tell me that ye want that too."

"For keeps," Claire repeated, her heart lodged in her throat. "I want that too, Jamie."

Oddly her assurance didn't make him any less troubled as he kissed her forehead and left to go to work.

..........

Despite the mild hangover and her sleep-deprived state, Claire felt refreshed after the shower. The brothers have long gone to work, leaving the girls behind. Walking into the kitchen, she was faced with a glum Geillis' sat on kitchen barstool nursing a mug of milky tea, and Louise, chipper like a bird in spring, pottering about the kitchen. Pushing thoughts of Annalise away from her mind, Claire put on her best smile. She didn't want to be consumed with worry when she had enough to fret about with the opening party for tomorrow night.

"Morning, ladies!"

Geillis grunted shoving her long strawberry blond hair away from her face.

" _Bonjour,_ Claire! Coffee?"

Claire nodded with a smile and a _thank you_ before sitting opposite Geillis. "Hey, chick! Your hangover that bad?"

Before Geillis could say a word, Louise, plonked a mug of coffee in front of her. "I'm off. You look like you had your breakfast already, Claire, and whatever it was, I want what you had." The French girl gave her a wicked wink and pretended to slither to the floor in a mock swoon. "Anyway, I'm off to get my car and freshen up at home. See you both later at work?" Not waiting for any of them to answer, she was already grabbing her bag and coat.

_Good God, did everyone know what Jamie and I were up to this morning?_

"By the way, the muffins were gorgeous. Thank you! Drive safe!" Claire called after her before she could make it out the door.

Louise laughed. "It was no bother. I bought it from the bakery earlier. Byeee!"

Once the door closed, she glanced at Geillis, who still hadn't said a word. Usually, a morning person, hanged over or not, Claire knew something was wrong. Fetching a small bottle of mineral water from the fridge, she placed it in front of her friend. "Here, drink this. You need to hydrate after last night. Did you have a rough night?"

Geillis popped the lid off from the bottle and gulped half the water down. "Is it obvious?"

"Yes, quite frankly. You look like you spent the night exorcising a horde of demons."

Geillis winced. "I might need to borrow a concealer from ye. I've run out. It's bad enough I have a naturally pasty complexion."

"I wasn't talking about your skin. Your face looks like thunder, and it's not your nature to sulk. I'm the sulker around here. So, I'm guessing the lousy night had nothing to do with the alcohol. Bad news at home?"

Groaning dramatically, Geillis let her head fall on her arms. "I wouldn't know where to begin."

"Not this again, Geillis. Just start anywhere, and I'll ask questions later if there are holes in your story. And be quick about it. We're both needed at work."

"This is bad, Claire. Really bad. I'm a big girl with a realist's outlook, and because of that, I know how to act accordingly and how to deal with tricky situations when it presents itself ..."

Claire gave her a warning look. "You're stalling. Get to the point."

"So last night." Geillis cleared her throat. "I had sex."

Claire frowned. "Oh!" She started to think back to the night before, but anything she could manage to remember was all a jumble of blurry images. _Geillis and Louise?_

"Aye ... oh!" she replied flinching.

"Well?" She waited for Geillis to say more, but she remained silent. "I guess I have to draw it out from you. So, did you sneak out after you came home from the pub or you snuck someone in and did it in the bathroom?"

"Aye, I did some sneaking about." Geillis covered her face, not wanting to look at her. "I snuck into Willie's room to get an extra blanket in the guest room. I thought he was asleep. Then we talked about where I could buy second-hand cars and then one thing led to another. Oh God, Claire, I'm so sorry, but he was just this gorgeous specimen of a man. And he was sat there with no shirt on."

"Sorry?" A grin started to spread on Claire's face. "Why are you, sorry? Are you asking me for permission? Christ, chick! You're both adults, and he's not my brother. And even if he was, it would have been none of my business. This is a great thing, isn't it?"

"No, it isn't great!" Geillis wailed as she closed her eyes, looking very miserable.

"I thought you fancied him. What's wrong with Willie? Was the sex that bad? Oh...oh, wait. I know. He's not a cuddler. Is that it?"

"Sex was great, and it's the best I've ever had. Willie was sweet and caring and all. And aye, I fancy him," Geillis said, opening her tired eyes. "I dinna ken if I want to reveal the next part though..."

Claire cringed. Talking about Willie and the subject sex was just altogether too weird for her. "Well, what the fuck is the problem then?" she asked in an exasperated tone. 

Geillis looked up to the ceiling and everywhere, except at Claire. "Weel, everything was fine until the end... weel until he came in the end..."

"Geillis!" Suddenly, for some reason, Claire had an odd feeling that she wasn't going to like what Geillis was about to say.

"This isn't going to be easy for me to say because Willie really dented my already damaged self-esteem. And it's not bloody fair!" she wailed, her expression a mix of frustration and resentment. "And when he finished in the end, he said your name Claire and twice into my ears as he held me! Jesus, he wasn't making love to me. He was making love to ye. Nae wonder he had his eyes closed the whole time."

"What?!?" Claire was shell-shocked, and it took a moment to focus on a brain freeze. When she finally regained composure, she tried to rationalise with the best plausible answer she could think of. "Geillis, you shouldn't put too much thought into that. He had a bit to drink, and it was probably an honest mistake. He's always having a go at me...you know, Claire this, and Claire that. So, that's probably the reason why he said my name." Although Claire didn't falter as she spoke, her explanation didn't sound convincing at all to her ears. It must sound pretty lame to Geillis.

"Ye've got to be fucking kidding me, Claire. Come on! Even ye're not that naive. He said yer name in the throes of passion, for fuck sake. I appreciate the pep talk and all, but I'm a big girl, and I totally get it when a guy is not on to me, aye?" 

"Listen, Geillis. I can talk to him." _And tell him what wiseass?_

Geillis groaned as she lifted herself from the barstool. "Don't bother, Claire. It is what it is. I ken ye're trying to help, and that's really sweet but talking to him will not help at all. It was great sex, and I'm happy with that. End of story. Let's just drop it, ok?" 

No, she couldn't drop it. It was the first time ever, Claire saw her best friend look defeated and discouraged. And she didn't like it at all. The Geillis Claire knew always had solutions and answers to everything even if sometimes, it was a tad bit fantastical and wacky. Her friend had lifted her up so many times, and she wasn't about to let Willie get away with this. Not if she can help it.

..........

At work, Claire immediately headed to the Fraser Manor Inn's kitchen. She hadn't thought much of what she planned to say to Willie as she was too focused on Geillis' hurting. And the last thing she needed was getting Jamie involved. _What are you doing Beauchamp? This is none of your business. Geillis never agreed to this!_

As soon as she arrived in the kitchen, she saw Willie preoccupied with the trainees, directing them on how to use the giant rotisserie grill. Summoning all the courage she could muster, she approached him. "Willie, a word please, in my office."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was great hearing your positive feedback for Breakfast in Bed. My husband read your comments too and to those who mentioned him, he says thank you. Once again thank you all for reading my story.😀❤️
> 
> PPS here is a little treat for you - a mini sneak preview for the next chapter.
> 
> ********************************************************************
> 
> "You're coming with me."
> 
> An incredulous laugh escaped him. "No fucking way. Keep dreaming."
> 
> "I had a feeling you'd say that. That is why I stopped by at Claire's house to pay her a visit before coming here. Oh, and she put up quite a fight the feisty little bitch." Her smile widened maliciously. "If you come with me, I'd let her off with a slap on her wrist. You, on the other hand, don't get one for being a meddling dickhead that you are."
> 
> No, no, no! Willie's blood turned to ice as his heart lodged in his throat, and he tried frantically not to let his fear show. He had his doubts though whether to believe Annalise since he knew Claire learned Capoeira, a Brazilian martial art, during one of her many overseas travels. And when they were younger, he and Jamie had taught Jenny and Claire how to fight. But he couldn't take a chance knowing so very little of the crazed French girl.


	17. Inn Keeping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously in Love Complex...
> 
> At work, Claire immediately headed to the Fraser Manor Inn's kitchen. She hadn't thought much of what she planned to say to Willie as she was too focused on Geillis' hurting. And the last thing she needed was getting Jamie involved. What are you doing Beauchamp? This is none of your business. Geillis never agreed to this!
> 
> As soon as she arrived in the kitchen, she saw Willie preoccupied with the trainees, directing them on how to use the giant rotisserie grill. Summoning all the courage she could muster, she approached him. "Willie, a word please, in my office."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the love and feedback from the previous chapter. Wishing you all happy reading. 💖💖💖

Rummaging through the filing cabinet, not looking for anything in particular but to keep her hands busy, Claire waited anxiously for Willie to make an appearance. She had summoned him into her office as soon as she arrived at work, thinking it would be a bright idea to discuss what transpired between him and Geillis the night before. The longer she waited, the more she thought of backing out from her meddling plan.  _ Stay out of it, Beauchamp! Not your circus! Geillis is a big girl, she can handle this. _

But Claire didn't want to stay out of it, not after what Geillis had confessed to her.  _...he said your name Claire, and twice into my ears as he held me! Jesus, he wasn't making love to me. He was making love to ye.  _

Although the revelation unsettled her, she banished the thought, not only because thinking about it made her uneasy, but also she was more concerned about her friend. It was unlike Geillis to fret over a fling unless of course, her heart was at stake and Claire definitely, didn't want to be the cause of anyone's heartache.

For all of Geillis' boldness, flamboyant behaviour, and flirtatiousness, Claire knew it was merely a front to hide underlying insecurity, and she wanted to set that record straight. And Claire also knew Willie wasn't a player, despite not lacking in admiration among the female population. And if there's anything to read into his recent unintended orgasmic outburst with Geillis, Claire hoped it would be quickly resolved as a mistake. 

Willie interrupted her thoughts when he opened the door and came in. "Is this important? I'm sort of swamped at the moment, " he said impatiently, lifting his starched, white hat and raking the dark hair underneath with a restless hand.

"Please shut the door and take a seat. I won't take up much of your time." Trying her utmost best to school her features, she averted her eyes by sifting through papers from a manila folder she had retrieved from the filing cabinet.  _ Oh Christ, here we go. _

Willie closed the door but remained standing. "What is it, Claire?" he asked softly as if sensing her discomfort.

"It's about Geillis." Swallowing hard, she shook her head, as if to clear the cobwebs. "She looked devastated this morning, a-and she told me what happened between the two of you."

If Willie was surprised by her statement, none of it registered on his face. He picked up a picture frame from her desk in ungainly movement, a smile playing on his lips. It held an old photo of her and the Fraser siblings when they were kids. "I ought to be telling ye, it's none of yer business," he said finally. "But ye ken that already. Did she tell ye why she was upset?"

"No," she fibbed, hoping he couldn't see through her lie. "I ...um ... I don't want to see her hurt, Willie. I know you're both consenting adults and all, but I want you to know, she not that kind of girl. Often she acts a bit tarty, but it's just an act. And she really likes you. Just don't give her any false hope, ok?"

He hesitated for a moment before answering her. "Aye, dinna fash. I'll talk to Geillis later." Glancing at his wristwatch, he paused before continuing. "Is that all ye wish to talk about?"

"Yes, I guess so," she replied, giving him a tense nod. Wanting to reassure him, she pressed on, but everything seemed to move in disjointed starts and stops around her. "I know it isn't your intention to hurt her. Whatever happened between the two of you doesn't change the fact that you're a great guy. I hope you know that. It's important to me that you know I don't think any less of you."

Pensively looking at her, he gave her a half-smile, his tone and expression revealing nothing. "Thanks, Claire. You always try to see the best in other people," he said. She had expected him to be annoyed, but he didn't seem to be fazed by their discussion. He shifted on his feet, preparing to leave.

"And umm...before you go..."

"Aye?" He turned to look at her, one hand already on the knob of the door.

This time, Claire didn't avoid his gaze. "I know I've said this before, but I'll repeat it anyway. I want you to be happy, Willie. If it isn't with Geillis, I know there's someone out there for you, and whoever she is, she will be one lucky girl to have you. Don't lose hope. Ever," she said, with a touch of a smile.

"Aaah, but hope can ruin ye if ye're not careful," he said jokingly, turning to face her once more.

"Why would you say such a thing?" She knew she should have stopped with the questions, but curiosity made her push on.  _ Leave it now, Beauchamp! _

Willie looked down at the floor as if by doing so, he would be able to find the words he was searching for. "There's this girl that I love. I caught myself thinking about her and hoped that one day she would think about the possibility of me in her life, but I quickly dismissed the sentiment." Firming his jaw, he shoved his big hands in his pants pocket. "It was that kind of thinking that landed me in this situation, to begin with. But dinna fash about me because I'm a little glad it wasn't me she wanted." His eyes softened, revealing a hint of sadness that was gone before she could blink. "She wanted someone who truly deserved her, and I'm happy that she's happy. That's all that matters."

_ Oh, Willie!  _ Her heart twisted painfully for him, and she knew she should stop talking but the need to give him comfort outweighed everything else. "She's a lucky girl even if she doesn't realise it. And you're a better man for still loving her even if it means letting go of what you hold close to your heart," she whispered, her voice barely audible.

Clearing his throat, his eyes narrowed as if a thought came up. "It's certainly quite surprising, considering ye're in an interfering mood, that ye haven't asked me the name of the girl I'm talking about. Aren't ye curious, Claire?" he asked in a low voice.

She looked away, suddenly leafing through papers from the manila folder she held.  _ No please, don't say anything. I don't want to know. _ "Oh, um well, I was going to ask, but since I've taken enough of your time, and I'm a bit behind work, I'll save it for another day," she stammered. In her periphery, she noticed he started to make a move towards her. 

"Claire, look at me."

She couldn't look at him because the realisation would show on her face. It was better if Willie didn't confirm her inkling and it remained unsaid. Edging her way behind her desk, putting a barrier between them, she reached out for the phone. "I need to make a phone call, Willie. So if you'll excuse me." She started to dial some random number.

"Sassenach, I have these...." It was Jamie coming in unannounced with a tray of dessert. "Oh... I wanted ye to taste these, but I can come again later," he said, glancing from her to Willie and then back to her again.

She let out a sigh of relief. "Jamie! I was...I was..."

Willie turned and slapped his brother on the back. "...just about to make a phone call," he finished the sentence off for her. "I was leaving anyway." At the doorway, he stopped and looked at her for the final time. "By the way, Claire... the girl's name is Mary," Willie said winking at her before walking away.

Her mouth opened, closed and opened again like a fish out of water, unsure what to make of Willie's last words.

"Ye alright, Sassenach?" Jamie asked, placing the dessert on her desk, his brows pulling together in concern.

Claire shook visibly, directing her attention to Jamie. "We were just talking about Geillis and some girl called Mary. Nothing of importance." It wasn't a lie. Eyeing the dessert, she smiled. "So what do we have here? Tasting test?" 

As she took a bite off the treacle tart Jamie placed in front of her, somehow, she couldn't help but speculate if Mary, whoever she was, was the girl Willie was indeed talking about. For now, she was satisfied with that answer even if deep down, she knew it was a lie.

..........

The Grand Re-opening of the Fraser Manor Inn went without a hitch, at least where the kitchen and food service was a concern. Jamie would have prefered a night in with Claire after a long day at work, but his parents had insisted after the last of the dessert was served, and the kitchen was cleared up, that him, Willie and Murtagh joined the guests. He knew Claire still had a long night to go, overseeing the service staff, so he conceded to join the party, at least until Claire was done with work.

"Ye're the future of this hotel, so it's best the guests see yer faces once in a while," Brian had said to both his sons. "Yer tuxedoes are in Claire's office, and there is a key to a vacant room on her desk that ye can use to shower. I don't want ye smelling of roasts when ye mingle later."

But there were other pressing matters. Ned Gowan. Ned had assured them that Annalise should be of no threat as the only thing they had uncovered so far, criminally speaking, were forgeries of various administrative documents. It should have been enough to get her arrested, but the lawyer informed them to have patience until he has gathered enough evidence against the French girl as there could be other things they might discover. The idea of Annalise still in Lallybroch didn't sit well in guts, but Jenny and Ian will be at the Manor watching over her and very soon, Rupert and Angus from the kitchen, would be joining them.

Earlier, Willie had been told that a private detective working for Ned, found Annalise's guardians living in South of France. Ned's agent was on his way to gather more information about them and hopefully, get an interview concerning their adopted daughter.

Putting his tuxedo jacket on, Jamie wished Claire was there to fix his bowtie, never being the type of person to wear suits. Ellen had always emphasised on how handsome her sons looked when dressed formally, but he found the clothing constricting like it was created to snuff the air out of him. Nevertheless, not wanting to disappoint his mother, Jamie had agreed to wear the formal attire. He knew Claire had changed from her hotel uniform too when he saw a flurry of red rushing to the service area as he left the kitchen to change.

Taking a deep breath, Jamie breezed down the stairs and into the newly renovated ballroom usually reserved for wedding venues. Beaming with pride at the transformation of the hotel's interior, he went through the entrance, smiling at the girl working the door in headset who greeted him with love hearts in her eyes. As soon as Jamie walked in, he was immediately swallowed by humming conversation, dimmed lights and elegant music being played by a ten-piece band. Taller than most and able to see over the top of the milling guests, he spotted Claire quickly.

His breath hitched when he saw her. Claire was stood near the dancefloor, talking to the provost's wife over a champagne flute. She had to be the only person in the room wearing red, and it made her stand out among the sea of black and darker hues of cocktail dresses. Her dress was long and loose, and her front was covered entirely making it look very modest until she turned. From behind, there was a thin silvery strap that went down the middle of her almost naked back connecting to material just above her arse, displaying two dimples. The silver stilettos accentuated her height and slimness, making her look elegant and provocative at the same time.

A passing waiter offered him a tumbler of whisky which he drained in one shot. He felt like snatching one of the white tablecloths and wrapping her in it as he made his way to her.

"Jamie?"

He turned toward the source of the voice and saw Geneva Dunsany, the girl who pursued him during his high school days. She was standing next to him, a hand on his arm. Although he went out with her a couple of times while on holiday from working in France, nothing ever came out of their date.

"Oh, hi, Gen. Ye look great. Nice dress." While he was talking to Geneva, his eyes kept drifting over to Claire, who was now sharing a joke with Frank Randall. He saw Frank twirled her around on the dancefloor to get a better look at her dress.

"Thank you, I bought it for this occasion." Geneva launched herself at him, taking him by surprise, and Jamie had no choice but to hug her back. "Will you dance with me later, Jamie?"

He shot a glance towards Claire, who was watching him with a raised eyebrow. "Sorry, Gen, I'm Claire's date, and I promised her all my dances. And speaking of Claire, I best get to her."

"Right, well, she looks quite busy with Frank over there. If you change your mind, I'll be over at the bar." She winked at him, running her fingertips over the lapel of his jacket. "You know I applied for a job in your hotel as a restaurant manager, but I haven't heard anything. It would be great to work together with you."

_ Jesus, help me. _ "You ought to talk to Claire. She is in charge of hiring for restaurant positions."

"I will do that, and I'll mention you told me to speak to her," she said, sounding pleased with herself. "I know how Claire's job can be quite taxing, so if she's tired and decides to go home, we can grab a drink later in the pub."

"No, I'm sorry. Ye don't understand. I'm with Claire. I really have to go." He gave Geneva's hand a gentle squeeze before removing it from his chest. "It was great seeing ye."

Without waiting for a response, he skirted past a group of elegantly dressed guests, making his way towards Claire. As Jamie got closer, he realised she was still talking to Frank.  _ For fuck sake! _ Jealousy, an emotion that was fast becoming familiar, scraped in his gut like a giant nettle.

"Sassenach!" Jamie swooped in to kiss Claire on the lips, taking her by surprise. She jumped a little but recovered quickly with a smile. With a hand possessively placed behind her back, he greeted his old friend, extending his free one for a handshake. "Frank, long time no see. How are ye, mate?" 

"Jamie! All good, all good. I was keeping your lass company, and I'm just about to go and get a drink. Can I get something for you?" Frank smiled warmly, holding out both his hands to clasp his.

Jamie shook his head, trying his hardest not to act like a jealous fool. "How about ye, Sassenach? Another glass of champagne?"

Claire smiled. "No, I've had enough. Ma and Da have gone home, so I still need to stay for another hour or two. I don't want to fall asleep while on my shift. Willie has gone to the house for a nap, and he will come back later to take over."

"Right, I'll leave you two alone to attend to your guests. Nice seeing you again Claire and fabulous job with the grand opening." Without waiting for them to reply, he turned with a wave of a hand.

"What did you do Jamie? Shook his hand with a death grip?"

Jamie flinched as he tore his gaze from Frank's withdrawing figure. "What? I didn't do anything!" he asserted defensively, turning to face her.

"Hey, I was only teasing you. Why are you so tense?" Claire asked, looking surprised.

His throat worked as he glanced away. "Sorry, Sassenach. I was trying my best not to act like a jealous eedjit. I thought ye might be angry for interrupting yer conversation with Frank. And that dress... that dress, ye look half-naked in it."

Quelling the urge to smile, she poked him on the rib. "Well, Jamie, if it makes you feel any better, I was jealous too when you allowed Geneva to paw all over you," she murmured, moving closer to him.

His stomach muscles bunched when she placed her arms around his neck. "I didn't..." Jamie's voice trailed away as he looked down at her amused face, and realised she was making fun of him. Before he knew what was happening, Claire stood on tiptoes and gave him a long-drawn-out kiss on the lips.

"Let's go to my office," Claire mumbled against his mouth, pressing herself closer.

Jamie pulled back with a whispered curse but didn't let go of her. "Christ, Sassenach, ye just gave everyone a free show. If we leave this room now, they'll know what I'm about to do with ye." He glanced over her head, scanning the crowd. "Besides, I don't have a condom on me. I dinna expect to do it with ye during office hours," he said, looking a tad annoyed.

"But I've been on the pill for the last two weeks..."

His eyes lit up, and then his body froze when he came to a realisation. "Ye sent me to the pub the other night to get condoms," Jamie growled in her ears as he started to pull her away from the dance floor.

"I didn't think the pills would work immediately, but I've been taking it long enough now." When she realised their guests were looking at them, she tugged the sleeve of his jacket. "Wait! What about what other people will think?"

"Dinna fash lass. If they start talking, I'll make an honest woman out of ye," he grated under his breath, as he almost dragged her out of the ballroom.

..........

After helping Jamie back into his tuxedo jacket and straightening his bow tie, he left her in the office to see to their leftover guests who were now gathered at the bar. Looking at the time, it would be another half hour before Willie came and took over her shift. Slipping her tired feet into her stilettos, she groaned at the prospect of going back to the ballroom in such unpractical shoes. She was about to stand up when the door swung open.

"Sassenach, Ian just called. He said Annalise has gone missing along with da's car. She took with her a gun from one of his world war 2 collection in his study," Jamie announced, as he ripped the bowtie off his neck. "I've called the police, and I'm still trying to get hold of Willie, but he's not answering. Can ye please keep calling him." 

Claire failed to hide her horror as her hands began to shake.  _ Did Jamie just mention gun? _ "Oh my God, oh my God. Have you called ma and da?" she asked while making a phone call to Willie. "Oh, sweet, Jesus, please let everyone be safe," she muttered under her breath.

Sensing her panic, Jamie leaned down over to her and grabbed the back of her neck. "Ma, da and Jenny are alright. There are police in Lallybroch as well as outside the hotel. I'm going over to yer house and see if Willie is there. Now, I need ye to listen to me, Sassenach. Ye are to stay here and lock the door. Under no circumstances are ye to open it unless you hear my voice. I dinna care if they say they're the queen of fucking Britain, ye will remain silent and stay put. Ye understand me?"

Claire could only nod her head as she kicked off her shoes. After following Jamie to the door and locking it, she took a deep breath and focused on the task at hand. She called Willie's number, praying he would answer.  _ Damn it, Willie, answer the phone! _

_.......... _

** A few hours ago **

Willie was about to leave the hotel and take an hour nap at Claire's house when he heard a sound behind him. He came to a dead stop. Although he had never been confronted with one, Willie knew it was the sound of a gun cocking. With his hands in the air, he turned around slowly until he came face to face with Annalise. 

"Annalise? What is the meaning of this?" He kept his eyes on the weapon, held by shaky hands. "Ye're not well. Put down the gun, and we'll talk about this, alright sweetheart?"

Annalise narrowed her eyes and took a step forward. "I was expecting Jamie, but you'll do." She licked her lips nervously as she glanced at the door Willie had exited from. "You just had to be a meddling son of a bitch,  _ non?  _ We could have had what we both wanted if you didn't stick your nose in my business. Me with Jamie and you with that English whore."

Willie whistled under his breath. "Ye're wrong. I couldn't be with someone who didn't love me in return. And ye shouldn't either. Ye deserve more, Annalise. Jamie has been in love with Claire all his life, and it's not something ye can undo with a gun. If he stayed with ye, ye would have been unhappy."

"Shut the fuck up!" she snarled, half-crazed eyes glinting at him. Then her voice softened. "You know, under different circumstances, I might have liked you." She pointed the gun at Willie's midsection. "But then again, probably not. Put your phone and any sharp objects you have on you, on the ground and slide them slowly to me."

"This is really turning out to be a fucking pain in the arse, Annalise. Put the gun down, please and we'll talk about this. I'll even forget this incident ever happened. It will be our little secret." As confident as he sounded, Willie knew he was at a disadvantage. At this time of night, most of the staffs were still busy at work, and none of them will be out for another few hours, especially with the opening party in full swing. There were cameras all over the parking lot, but no one in the hotel was monitoring them. The footage was only accessed if an incident took place. His only chance was to stall and hope she would get distracted long enough for him to surprise her and grab the gun off her.

Annalise laughed without humour. "You've got balls, I'll give you that. It's not a surprise, really...I can't imagine a Fraser being a pushover." She restlessly shifted on her feet and eyed the back door of the hotel once more. "You must hate me like hell. Come to think of it... if Jamie had stayed in France, you might have had your chance with her. You do look like Jamie, you know. That's what you have going for you."

"I must admit I had my doubts about you right from the beginning, but despite that, I was conflicted about bringing you to the police if my theory had been right. Not any longer, though." 

"You won't get a chance."

Willie's jaw tightened painfully. "What the fuck do you want?"

"I'll have what I want soon enough." Annalise raised the gun a little higher. "For now I need to tie some loose ends, namely you." She jerked her chin towards his father's Range Rover, which he hadn't noticed was there before.  _ Christ, ma and da! Where are they?  _ "You're coming with me."

An incredulous laugh escaped him. "No fucking way. Keep dreaming."

"I had a feeling you'd say that. That is why I stopped by at Claire's house to pay her a visit before coming here. Oh, and she put up quite a fight the feisty little bitch." Her smile widened maliciously. "If you come with me, I'd let her off with a slap on her wrist. You, on the other hand, don't get one for being a meddling dickhead that you are."

_ No, no, no!  _ Willie's blood turned to ice as his heart lodged in his throat, and he tried frantically not to let his fear show. He had his doubts though whether to believe Annalise since he knew Claire learned Capoeira, a Brazilian martial art, during one of her many overseas travels. And when they were younger, he and Jamie had taught Jenny and Claire how to fight. But he couldn't take a chance knowing so very little of the crazed French girl.

Swallowing his mounting fear, Willie simply raised an eyebrow in response, even though he wanted to wrap his hands around the young girl's throat.  _ I have to get to Claire! _

Annalise moved impatiently, wiping one sweaty hand on her jean-clad thigh. "I knew I was racing the clock this week when I realised I was dealing with you and your investigative skills. You really are in the wrong profession,  _ mon amie _ . Frankly, you ought to give up your day job." She scoffed contemptuously. "In case you want to know, it was me who called the police on Claire about the crowdfunding. And yes it was me who sent those messages on her private messages. I thought she would crumble under strain. But Jamie failed to tell me that you'd both throw yourselves in front of a train to protect her. Oh, how very romantic! I knew Jamie was protective of Claire, and I thought by faking my illness and pregnancy, he might be drawn back to me again. But you! You ruined all my plans. You had to go as far as hiring a lawyer and private investigator."

Blood drained out of his face. "How did you know about the lawyer?"

"Ah, yes! Ned Gowan, right? That's the lawyer's name you hired, is that right? You got careless and left your laptop on, the other day, and really, I expected more from you, Willie. That was a huge schoolboy error, but then again, I'm not complaining."

_ Fuck!  _ He thought of Claire tied up somewhere, and there was no way he could grab his phone and call anyone to check on her. Knowing he couldn't go solely on the word of the volatile French girl, Willie shook his head. "You don't have her. It's a bluff. I know she can take care of herself, and you wouldn't have had the strength to coerce her to do anything against her will."

"You willing to bet on that?"

_ No!  _ He knew right then and there he couldn't gamble on the hope Annalise was bluffing. If he went with Annalise now, she might allow Claire to go free. Willie wouldn't walk away alive, but at least Claire would have a chance. If he refused to leave, there was a possibility, Annalise might take him out here and now. If he went willingly, allowing Annalise to tie up loose ends, at least he might be able to exchange himself to save Claire. There was no choice.

"I swear to God if ye hurt her..."

"Relax, she's just a little bruised up."

Helplessness raged through Willie, the need to get to Claire almost bringing him to his knees. Reluctantly, he took out his phone from his pocket and kicked it across the ground. "Take me to her."

..........

Claire frowned at her phone. Still no news from anyone. She was just about to make another call to Willie when her mobile rang, and Jamie simultaneously knocked on the door.

"Open the door, Sassenach!"

Letting a stressed Jamie in, she answered her phone, signalling him with her finger to be quiet. It wasn't Willie's number on the screen, but a blocked number appeared instead. "Hello?"

"Claire, sweet, sweet Claire!  _ Comment tu vas, ma chère?"  _ It was Annalise.

Grabbing on to her desk, she nearly collapsed if Jamie hadn't been there to catch her. A worried look started to spread across his face as she stumbled to a seat. "Annalise, where are you?" she almost choked, trying her best to sound calm and collected.

"Shouldn't the question be, where is Willie? Or haven't you figured anything out yet?"

"I don't believe you know where Willie is," she whispered, her mind screaming in denial while a part of her could hear a note of truth in the French girl's voice. Knowing she had a gun, Claire could hardly breathe through the debilitating dread.

"Would you like to talk to him?"

Claire collapsed in her seat as the weight of the confirmation that she had Willie, sunk in. "Yes, please," she just about managed.

Jamie signalled Claire to hand the phone over, but she shook her head.

Listening intently into her phone, she heard movements in the background, and muffled words being exchanged before Willie's voice came through. "Claire, stay where ye are and don't listen to her. Call the police and don't come looking for me," Willie shouted in a rush.

"Oh, my God, Willie, come where?" she wailed as her heart threatened to give. "Where are you?"

She heard a door slam before Annalise spoke again. "I would advise you not to listen to that dickhead if you want to see him alive."

"Please, please, Annalise. I beg of you, don't hurt him. Tell me what you want." Blinking away her tears, Claire held Jamie's hand as she tried to focus.

"I'm going to text you an address. I want you to bring Jamie here in exchange for Willie. You have an hour to make the right choice, and if you alert the police, Willie will be dead before they come and take me. Tick-tock,  _ ma chère!  _ We'll be waiting. _ "  _ Then the line went dead.

Her entire body had gone numb as the phone slipped off her hand, falling onto the floor.

"Sassenach, she wants me, aye?" Jamie whispered, his face like carved granite. For the first time in her life, she saw the colour of his eyes turn icy blue, anger emanating out of him in waves.

She could only nod as he gathered her into his arms, so gentle even in his rage. When the sound of the text message came through, she winced like she had been stabbed in the heart. Memorizing the address in her mind, she got up from her seat. "I'll go change into something more comfortable," she muttered under her breath.

Jamie nodded as he helped her onto her feet.

_ Ye're the smart one Beauchamp! Think! Think!  _ Making her way to the locker room, to retrieve her sweatshirt and jeans, she racked her mind for alternatives, but it seemed her brain had been numbed too.  _ Willie and Jamie can't die! If anyone is going to meet their Maker, it will be me. _

Claire shoved her feet into a pair of old sneakers and sprinted back to her office. "Listen, Jamie..." An empty room greeted her. "Jamie?"  _ What the fuck? _

Her gaze shot to the desk where her mobile phone had been. It was gone, and its place was a note written by Jamie.

> I love you with all my heart, Claire. Always remember that. I promise to put things right again. -J

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I know there were a lot of scenes to take in, but it was necessary. Once again, thank you all for commenting and for the kudos. 💖💖💖


	18. Infectious Madness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously in Inn Keeping...
> 
> "Sassenach, she wants me, aye?" Jamie whispered, his face like carved granite. 
> 
> She could only nod as he gathered her into his arms, so gentle even in his rage. When the sound of the text message came through, she winced like she had been stabbed in the heart. Memorizing the address in her mind, she got up from her seat. "I'll go change into something more comfortable," she muttered under her breath.
> 
> Jamie nodded as he helped her onto her feet.
> 
> Ye're the smart one Beauchamp! Think! Think! Making her way to the locker room, to retrieve her sweatshirt and jeans, she racked her mind for alternatives, but it seemed her brain had been numbed too. Willie and Jamie can't die! If anyone is going to meet their Maker, it will be me.
> 
> Claire shoved her feet into a pair of old sneakers and sprinted back to her office. "Listen, Jamie..." An empty room greeted her. "Jamie?" What the fuck?
> 
> Her gaze shot to the desk where her mobile phone had been. It was gone, and its place was a note written by Jamie.
> 
> I love you with all my heart, Claire. Always remember that. I promise to put things right again. -J

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your response and feedback in the previous chapter, Wishing you happy reading!😘

Through heavy eyes and blurry vision, Willie stared at the door of a room in an abandoned and derelict manor house, hoping and praying Claire and Jamie would not walk through it. He knew it was wishful thinking as he could already see either one of them storming in like some avenging angel, demanding to take his place. On second thought, Jamie would have probably locked Claire somewhere in the hotel before bringing her anywhere near danger. They were both stubborn in their own ways, so much so, that it had frustrated him countless times. 

When Annalise had ordered him at gunpoint to drive to the abandoned manor house, he hadn't been surprised. She knew of the place as she had seen it on the day he had volunteered to take her to the hospital. They had made a pit stop to look at the neglected structure after Willie saw it up for sale in the paper. Although he had his doubts about Annalise ever since she came to Lallybroch, his earlier suspicions of her lying about Claire being taken had made him extra cautious. Willie didn't want to take a risk and gamble Claire's life based on gut feeling. He knew he had to play his cards right as the lass was too perceptive for her own good. 

He remembered the day when they had stopped at Ned Gowans office to deliver her documents, and he had told Annalise that the lawyer will sort out her papers so she can have access to the British healthcare. It wasn't a lie but what she didn't know was that her medical documents were also being checked for their authenticity. When he drove her back to Lallybroch, she had teased him about the way he had looked at Claire to which he had chosen to ignore despite feeling uncomfortable for her insightfulness.

Now sat on the dirty floor with his back up against the pillar, his hands were tightly secured behind the post. Annalise had used an industrial-sized cable tie used in their hotel kitchen, and he presumed she must have found them on his desk while snooping into his laptop. Under normal circumstances, he could have wrestled the gun from her, but the lass was clever. After arriving at the abandoned manor house, she had ordered him to stand by the pillar and to drink the bottled mineral water she threw at him. It must have been laced with some drugs prescribed for her own use, and it incapacitated him just adequately to lose his balance and coordination and make him drunk-like, long enough for her to tie his hands.

Glancing at the small clock Annalise had placed on a table, it had been forty minutes since she made the call to Claire. He wondered if Claire told Jamie or if she would come alone. If she didn't bring Jamie, he could be dead within the space of twenty minutes, leaving Claire to fend for herself.

Shut away in a small room, Willie barely heard the knock. Attempting to stay fully alert, he listened to Annalise's scraping movement on the wooden floor and the creaking of the entrance door opening. When Jamie's voice filtered through, he shook his head to clear the fogginess in his brain, and braced himself against the pillar, ready for any eventuality.

Suddenly, Jamie entered the room with hands in the air and not far behind was Annalise with the gun pointed at his back. Willie strained to see past them, looking for Claire but he didn't see her. Willie presumed Jamie must have left Claire without her knowing or did something to prevent her from coming. Either way, he didn't like seeing his brother there and offering himself a sacrifice. If anything happened to Jamie, Claire would be devastated. He could only hope Claire would stay away.

"Willie, ye alright?" Jamie's face was white as he looked over at his brother for any signs of injuries.

Willie could only manage a nod, saving all his energy for whatever might happen.

Jamie turned towards his ex-girlfriend. "Annalise, I'm here now. Let my brother go. I'll take ye back to France if that is yer wish." Leaving one hand up in the air, his other hand slowly reached for the inside pocket of his jacket and pulled out two passports, his and hers. "We can go tonight and leave this all behind. Isn't this what ye want?"

"What about Claire? Where is she?"

"I made a mistake, Annalise. Ye need me, and I'm here to take ye home," Jamie said in a clear voice, but devoid of any emotion. "You don't need Willie. This is between us. And Claire is not coming, so ye can forget about her. Put the gun down now, please."

Willie was relieved to hear that Jamie managed to prevent Claire from getting involved. Although a part of him pained for her knowing any sacrifice on her behalf would destroy Claire, the relief overshadowed the pain.

Annalise tapped the gun against her thigh, considering Jamie's words. "I'll come with you, Jamie, but I need to get rid of him." She jutted her chin in Willie's direction, crazed eyes narrowing. "He tried to separate us, don't you see? It doesn't matter where in the world we go, he won't stop. Your brother is not interested in your happiness at all. Have you seen the way he looks at that English bitch?"

A low growl rumbled from Jamie. "Don't call Claire that," he said in a slow, deliberate tone. "She has been nothing but kind, and it was her idea to send me to France to look after ye. And I still want to do that. Come on, Annalise. Let Willie walk out of here, and we'll both go."

Annalise laughed. "Did you know your brother has a little folder in his desktop disguised as Italian recipes? Within the folder is another folder hiding his dirty little secret. There are pictures of Claire in it and a letter confessing his love for her and..."

"I never sent the letter, and that was from a couple of years ago..." Willie slurred the words out as he interrupted Annalise's rambling. He couldn't look at Jamie in the eye. Surely his wee brother knew that he would never have acted on what he felt for Claire. "It was a draft. I never sent it."

"Shut the fuck up!" she snarled, pointing the gun at him. "You ... you're finally going to get what's coming for you."

"Annalise, no!"

..........

Claire handed several pound notes to the taxi driver the second the vehicle slowed down, a reasonable distance away from the abandoned manor house. Not bothering to wait for her change, she opened the car's door and sprinted through the open field. Claire could see a faint light coming from the window of the derelict building, and just by the side of the road, Jamie's car was carelessly parked. Her heart thumped in her ears, stomach twisted in knots from worry that she had come too late.

When she left the hotel earlier, she had made a last-minute decision to send Geillis a voice message to let her know what was happening before switching her phone to silent. Relieved that Brian, Ellen and Jenny are safe, Claire focused her attention on the two brothers.

As she reached the house, she saw the entrance door was slightly ajar. Slowing her pace and calming her nerves, she slid past the opening, careful not to make any noise. Annalise's angry voice reached her in the front hallway giving Claire an idea someone was alive in there with her. Armed only with an antique pocket knife that belonged to her uncle Lamb, she reached out to the back of her jean pocket to make sure it was still there, hoping she wouldn't have to use it on Annalise. As much as possible, Claire tried not to give in to the waves of dread and worry she felt, knowing if she gave herself time to think, the thoughts would only serve to debilitate her.

Taking a deep breath, she followed the sound of Annalise's voice and pushed open the door that led to a small room. Scanning the scene in one quick swoop, Jamie's taut back was to her, ready to pounce as Annalise pointed the gun towards Willie. As soon as Willie had seen her, he tensed and shook his head, pleading her with his eyes.

Seeing that Willie was in the most danger, she rushed forward and inserted herself between Willie and the gun, ignoring Jamie's whispered expletives muttered under his breath. Immediately, Annalise lowered the weapon, eliciting loud gasps of relief from the brothers. Despite her jealousy towards the French girl, Claire had tried her best to make Annalise feel welcome in Lallybroch. A couple of times she had pastries sent to Annalise and had sent her text messages asking how she was. It must have counted for something, enough that Annalise let go of the trigger even if there was a hint of resentment in her eyes.

"Annalise, please put the gun down. It doesn't need to end this way." Claire was surprised at how her voice sounded steady and firm.

From behind her, she could hear Willie attempting to get on his feet despite his restrained hands. "Claire, please, get out of here, I beg of ye. Now!"

"What the hell are ye doin' Sassenach? Walk out of here now. I'm going with Annalise to take her back to France," Jamie said in a way that Claire would have believed that was his intention if she didn't know him any better.

Shaking her head, her eyes remained on Annalise and the gun. "I'm sorry, but I can't walk out of here. I want to make sure everyone is safe, including Annalise." She hoped Jamie and Willie won't say another word, intending to draw Annalise's attention to her. Extending her hand, she allowed everything except the girl in front of her to fade into nothingness, her measured breaths coming in time with her heartbeat. "Let me help you, Annalise. You are very ill, and you need to rest. Nobody is here to harm you." Claire knew Annalise had liver cirrhosis and understood too, after all the excitement, the fatigue caused by her illness would be enough to weaken her soon. She needed to stall.

Willie continuous shuffle from behind her didn't help her cause, as he was oblivious to Claire's progress. Whatever he had ingested, had dulled his reasoning. "Claire get out of here and walk away."

Annalise took a step sideways and re-aimed the gun at Willie. "He wants me to go to prison, and all I wanted is to be happy and be with Jamie. Is that too much to ask?" Then she aimed the gun back at Claire. "And you, you could have your pick of men, and you had to steal Jamie from me."

"Annalise, let's go and let them be. We'll drive to the airport now, and we could take the next flight to Paris," Jamie interrupted, extending a hand.

Annalise shook her head, muttering to herself, as she redirected the gun back to Willie. "He hates me, he wants me to go to prison. I can't have that, can we now? My family held me as a prisoner before. I'd die first before I go to jail. I'm sorry, Jamie. This is the only way."

Claire turned to look at Willie and her alarmed gaze connected to his. The resignation was etched on his face, as he nodded to her in reassurance. "It's alright, Claire. I've messed this up. This is all my fault."

Turning back around, she found Annalise's finger tightening on the trigger. Without thinking, Claire moved and threw herself in front of Willie to shield him from the oncoming bullet. At the very last second, there was movement behind her as if Jamie had anticipated her move. Using his body, he jumped too to protect her and Willie, his muscular frame spasming at the impact of the gunfire.

Blood rushed to her ears as she felt Jamie's body collapse behind her, both of them falling onto the floor beside Willie. Using all the strength she could muster with her hands, she turned around under his weight to get hold of him. Wrapping her arms around his upper torso to keep him upright, she felt thick moisture gushing over her hands. _Blood!_ _Oh, no, no, please! This can't be happening._ "Oh, God, Jamie, please." From a distant, she could hear sirens approaching.

"Claire, untie me, please," Willie whispered, his voice trembling in panic.

Straining her head, Claire saw Annalise momentarily distracted by the gun she held in her shaking hand, staring at it in shock. Gently sliding from under the weight of Jamie so as not to aggravate his injury further, she crawled behind the pillar to unfasten the cable-tie on Willie's hand with her pocket knife. Once he was released, she shed her jacket and yanked her sweatshirt off and pressed it against Jamie's wound, while Willie, wobbly on his feet, tackled Annalise to the floor, kicking the gun out of the room.

"Jamie, look at me... stay with me, alright? We're going to get through this." Claire applied more pressure to his wound, as tears streamed down her cheeks.

Blue eyes dulled with pain stared back at her. "Sassenach, this isn't yer fault, ok? I don't want ye to waste yer time blaming yersel'. He winced, his face contorted in pain. "Christ, I love ye so much. Always have."

His words wrenched a sob from her, unaware of the police that stormed into the room and took a shocked Annalise away. "I love you too, Jamie. Don't speak. Just stay awake for me and listen to my voice. Help is on the way."

Based on his expression, Claire knew her face betrayed the deranged agony battering her inside.

"Where's Willie?"

Claire's pulse leapt in panic as Jamie's tensed body slumped, appearing to be on the brink of unconsciousness. Trying her best to keep her sanity intact, she swallowed the dread back, her throat burning like it had been scorched with acid as a shrill whirring sound took resident inside her skull.

"Hey, I'm right here. The ambulance has arrived." Willie gently lifted Jamie's head and placed his jacket underneath.

"Listen to me, _bràthair,"_ Jamie wheezed. "Ye'll take care of Claire... promise me that. I need ye to promise me that."

"Don't be daft." Willie choked down the emotion, trying to be brave for all of them. "Ye'll be on yer feet soon to take care of ..."

"Damn it! Promise me!" Jamie gasped, his complexion turning grey by the second.

"I promise."

Jamie nodded his head and then his eyelids slowly drooped, succumbing to the grasps of unconsciousness. "Jamie!" When he didn't respond, excruciating pain ripped through Claire's heart, as she screamed curses to the ceiling, unaware of Willie lifting her off the floor and Geillis trying to get hold of her face. Her arms frantically reached out for Jamie, her feet kicking and body twisting against a sturdy grip that held her when the paramedics placed Jamie's immobile body on the stretcher and wheeled him away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry for the delay with the update. I'm feeling under the weather, and I'm full of cold. Nevertheless, I pushed on, so you have something to read. Once again, thank you for reading and all your feedback. If there are loopholes in the story, I blame it on my bunged up nose and not so sunny disposition. I am hoping to rectify it soon in my next chapter.


	19. A Matter of Fate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously in Infectious Madness
> 
> Claire's pulse leapt in panic as Jamie's tensed body slumped, appearing to be on the brink of unconsciousness. Trying her best to keep her sanity intact, she swallowed the dread back, her throat burning like it had been scorched with acid as a shrill whirring sound took resident inside her skull.
> 
> "Hey, I'm right here. The ambulance has arrived." Willie gently lifted Jamie's head and placed his jacket underneath.
> 
> "Listen to me, bràthair," Jamie wheezed. "Ye'll take care of Claire... promise me that. I need ye to promise me that."
> 
> "Don't be daft." Willie choked down the emotion, trying to be brave for all of them. "Ye'll be on yer feet soon to take care of ..."
> 
> "Damn it! Promise me!" Jamie gasped, his complexion turning grey by the second.
> 
> "I promise."
> 
> Jamie nodded his head and then his eyelids slowly drooped, succumbing to the grasps of unconsciousness. "Jamie!" When he didn't respond, excruciating pain ripped through Claire's heart, as she screamed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wishing you all happy reading! 😘💖

Claire's heartfelt prayers recited in fraught, imploring whispers, reverberated in Jamie's consciousness, her desperate plea echoing all around him. Not quite able to determine the orientation of her voice, he desperately clung to the sound of her call to ground himself, as he felt his body float, the pull to the unknown too strong to resist. He willed any part of his body to move, but nothing was working apart from his memories. As random images flashed before him, he saw Claire from the past, reaching out and calling his name. _"I got you, Jamie!"_ It was a twelve-year-old Claire, her cherubic face puckered in concentration as she held out a hand to him.

With determination and iron will, he lifted his hand to reach out, but the sound of a machine beeping and muffled voices intruded. Irritation and frustration surged through him. He wanted to shout out to be quiet so he could hear what Claire was trying to tell him. _Oh, dear God, please let Jamie live. I'll do anything, just don't let him die._

Suddenly, the feeling of weightlessness passed, as his eyes flew open and panic seized his guts. The awareness of pain shooting up to his upper body made him want to be swathed once again in oblivion, but the need to see Claire was paramount. As the hazy fog in his brain slowly cleared, unfamiliar faces entered his line of vision, and the beeping of the machine began to accelerate. _Where is she? Is she hurt? Is she safe?_

There was a rush command for the doctor as a sea of arms fluttered about him, tugging, poking and pressing. He clenched his teeth as he tried to move, the burning agony from his back secondary to the one in his heart. _Sassenach!_

"Mr Fraser, ye are in the hospital, and ye've been shot. Please calm down," a male voice he couldn't attach to a face said.

"Where is she? I need to see her. Now!" His throat felt raw, and it hurt to talk.

"Who?"

"I think he's asking for his girlfriend."

"Quick, get her in before he does more damage."

As though he had conjured her with his thoughts, his eyes came into focus as Claire came towards his bed, hands outstretched. Jamie reached out and grabbed it like a lifeline, pulling her to him. Her clothes were covered in blood, and a terrible fear gripped his insides before he realised it was his own. Then she was beside him, her warm breath fanning his face, and that's all that mattered.

"Mr Fraser we're about to administer a sedative. Please take big deep breaths in your oxygen mask..." the doctor interrupted as three nurses rushed by his bedside.

"Jamie," Claire whispered, her trembling hand brushing his hair. "They're going to take care of you, ok? Let them take care of you. "

Everything around him slowed, and his mouth went dry. He didn't have enough strength to hold on to Claire's hand, and he hated letting go. "Don't leave me, Sassenach. I need ye here when I wake up."

"Ssshh, now. I'm not going anywhere."

And then his world went dark once more.

..........

When Jamie woke up again, it was in darkness and the only light in the room was the soft green glow cast by the monitors. He sensed an immediate comfort when he felt the unmistakable weight of Claire's hand curled up in his own. She had fallen asleep with her head resting on the side of his bed, her thick curls cascading over his arm. As he squeezed her hand, her head rose up, puffy eyes blinking to focus on him.

"Hey." She pushed a stray lock away from her exhausted, tear-stained face. "How are you feeling?"

He attempted to smile, but the memory of Claire jumping in line of gunfire assaulted him once more. "I'm not going to lie, Sassenach but I've felt better." When her face began to crumple, he tilted her chin up with his fingers. "My life flashed before me when... when ..." His throat worked as he tried to regain his composure. "I'm so sorry for putting ye through this. I dinna ken what Annalise was capable of. I couldn't bear to see ye or Willie hurt. I dinna regret one bit for taking that bullet. I would do it all over again for ye. H-how's Willie?"

"Willie is good but not too happy with what happened to you. And as for Annalise, the police have taken her away for psychiatric evaluation." Claire paused as she cast a tearful glance at him. "Oh, God. I can't stop reliving the bullet hitting you. Feeling you collapse against me and seeing your eyes ..."

He cradled her cheek with one hand and let out a heavy sigh. "What's important is, we came through it alive, Sassenach. Let us focus on that. She's gone now, and we have so much to look forward to." When she let out a heart-wrenching sob, a surge of guilt coursed through his entire being. He wouldn't have been able to forgive himself if Claire had taken the fall. "Don't scare me like that ever again. I don't think my heart would be able to cope."

For an excruciatingly long time, Claire simply stared at him. "It doesn't matter how I tried to replay the scenario and change the scenes in my head, one of us would have ended hurt. It wasn't anyone's fault. There was something not right with Annalise, but none of us saw that. Well, Willie did. But at the end of the day, no one could have foreseen what happened. We all wanted to help in our own way, so, please don't beat yourself up over this, Jamie." She reached out to trace the line of his stubbled jaw. "Ned is blaming himself too. He thinks he could've prevented it and because he wasn't able to, he feels he failed us."

"No ...Ned can only do so much." Jamie started, mentally blaming himself for bringing danger into their home. The possibility of a loss greater than his life made his chest constrict painfully. "I'm just glad ye're no' hurt." He held her gaze for a long moment before tugging her hand. "Come, crawl in here. I need to feel ye next to me, Sassenach."

Claire shook her head. "Jamie, ma and da are still outside. I really ought to go and tell them you're awake."

Frowning at her, he lifted the sheet on his good side. "Get in, Sassenach."

Claire rolled her eyes and let out an exasperated sigh as she climbed onto the bed so cautiously he had to smile. When she laid her head on the pillow and carefully put her arm across his chest, a sense of rightness engulfed him. "Ye were so brave. But at the same time, so reckless. I wanted to shake ye when ye stood in front of that gun."

Her body tensed against him. "I wanted to pull all her hair out after what she did to you and probably, I would have done more if you weren't bleeding so badly. I couldn't leave you...I had to apply pressure to your wound."

Jamie squeezed her hand. "Ye did the right thing, and in the end, ye saved all of us."

"I did? I wish I could have done more." Scooting closer, she traced swirling patterns on his chest. "When I look at you attached to a bunch of monitors, I can't help but wonder if I should have done something differently."

"Ye did good, Sassenach," Jamie said firmly. "Never, ever question that."

Propping herself up on her elbow, she leaned forward and kissed him softly. "I've never been so scared in my life. What happened earlier was scarier than bungee jumping. I never ever want to take our time together for granted," she whispered, her voice resonating with sincerity.

"Good."

"Good? You saved my life. I'm yours forever, James Fraser."

"Even better." He grinned. "Now, kiss me some more, Sassenach."

And so she did, with a reverence that shook him to the core.

...........

Jamie was alone with Willie when the doctor and two nurses came in. Claire had left earlier with Brian and Ellen to freshen up, change her clothes and check in with the hotel. Although she promised she would be back later, he wished she was there. Still shaken from the incident with Annalise, the need to have Claire by his side was stronger than ever.

"Good morning, Mr Fraser. How are we this morning?"

Jamie winced when he tried to move from his position. "Good morning, doc. Not particularly great to be quite honest. I guess that's to be expected after being shot, aye? I do have a bad headache, and the back of my legs feels numb, but I guess that can be fixed with a few strong painkillers. I was hoping..."

The doctor interrupted him. "That's understandable, Mr Fraser, but I'll get straight to the point. Ye're not out of the woods just yet." He paused, glancing at the clipboard he had in his hands. Clearing his throat, he continued. "I don't know if you are aware or if you have noticed... there was no exit wound from the bullet. That's because the bullet is lodged in your lower spinal canal."

Willie frowned. "I thought ye've taken the bullet out ..."

"No. After a lot of blood loss, it was imperative to stabilise his condition first and then perform a CT scan to determine the damage." The doctor gave Jamie a half-smile. "The good news is, there was no neurological damage, no cerebrospinal fluid leakage and the sphincter function appears to be normal. Now, we will need to operate as soon as your blood circulation is back on track. Hopefully, that will be soon as we want to prevent any delayed neurological damage and lead toxicity. The only impairment we found so far was hypoesthesia on the inside of both your thigh muscles; hence the numbness you are feeling right now."

Jamie attempted to move his thighs to verify the doctor's last words. Sure enough, the tingling and prickling sensation he felt was still there, as if the nerves have been compressed from sitting in one position for a long time. "This is all Greek to me, doctor. What does this all mean? Are there any guarantee I will be able to function normally after the operation?"

The doctor looked at him thoughtfully, contemplating his question. "No. The procedure could be straightforward, or it could get complicated. The presence of a migratory bullet in the spinal canal after a gunshot injury is very rare. But you are a healthy young man, Mr Fraser and that's what you have going for you. In the eventuality that something does go wrong ..."

Jamie didn't want to hear anymore. He'd heard enough. "I'll deal with it then."

"Very well. My colleague shall check up on you later. Meanwhile, get plenty of rest, Mr Fraser. You will need it for the operation." He nodded to them and the nurses before turning around to leave the room.

Both brothers remained silent for a while after the doctor left, caught up with their own thoughts. When the nurses were finally done monitoring and administering medication and intravenous infusions, Willie spoke up first. "Hey, everything will be alright."

Jamie gave him a brusque nod. After Claire had left earlier, he had been mentally making plans already about finishing the renovation of his house so he could ask her to move in with him. Now that there's a possibility he might not be whole again, the initial excitement had faded into a dull ache in his heart.

"Damn it, Jamie! Don't go silent on me. Ye need to talk. We've been through something very traumatic, so whatever is going through that head of yers, don't shut down," Willie pointed, shoving both his hands in his jean pockets.

His gut clenched. There were far too many ifs. He had brought danger to his family and Claire, and if the operation rendered him cripple, he couldn't possibly expect her to stay with him. After what she had been through all her life, she deserved to be happy, and not be weighed down by a man who isn't whole.

Shaking his thoughts, Jamie looked at his brother in the eye. "That promise ye made me, that still holds aye?"

Willie stared at him. "What promise? That promise ye made me keep when ye were shot?" He gave an incredulous laugh. "Ye ken fine, I'd watch over Claire. Always have and always will. But no way I will be yer replacement if that's what ye're thinking. Claire loves ye, and no rationalisation is going to make that fact disappear."

"And what if I broke it off with her?" Jamie challenged.

Willie glared at him in incredulity. "Then ye're a coward. Ye're scared shitless at the prospect of being not good enough for her," he replied, gruffly. "Besides, why are ye going down this road already? I've never known ye to be a defeatist. Ye ken, there is a considerable chance the operation will be a success, don't forget that."

Jamie held up his hand. "Aye, maybe I'm a coward, but this has nothing to do with me. It's about Claire and what she deserves in life. There is a big chance also the operation will not be successful, and if that happens, I cannot allow her to stay with me out of guilt and..."

"Fuck sake, Jamie! Are ye listening to yersel'? Aren't ye going to let Claire have a say in this? She thinks the world of ye and nothing, not even this, will stop her from loving ye. If ye break it off with her, ye might as well have pulled the trigger on that gun and shot her yersel'." When Willie saw Jamie flinched, he softened his voice. "Listen, I understand why ye feel the way ye do. But please, don't do this to Claire. And don't do this to yersel'. Both of ye deserve to be happy. Together."

Jamie opened his mouth to argue further, but it was too late. 

The door opened, and a beaming Claire stood framed in the doorway holding a couple of paper bags in one hand and a Tupperware of edibles balance on the other. "Good morning! I shan't be too long. I thought I'd drop this by before I go to the hotel."

Smiling, Willie walked over to her and took off her load. 

Jamie watched Claire approach him, and his heart stopped. She looked so fresh and beautiful in the morning sunlight that streamed through the windows as if the traumatic incident from last night never happened. Recognising the panic and fear clawing at his gut at the thought of sending her away from him, he pushed aside his worries about the operation. 

He relaxed, a smile curving his lips. "Hello, beautiful. So, what goodies did ye bring for me?" He wanted so badly to be able to get out of bed, lift her up and kiss her thoroughly.

Amusement flickered in her whisky coloured eyes. "I brought you some toiletries and undies." She snorted a half-laugh. "And of course, a few of your favourite snacks."

Jamie studied her, looking for any residual distress from last night. It seemed she had recovered. "How much time do ye have for me, Sassenach?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow.

This time, Claire gave a full laugh. "I have half an hour, big boy. So don't waste our time together being grumpy at me."

Willie cleared his throat. "I'll be outside in the corridor, Claire. When ye're ready, I can take ye to work after." 

Jamie almost forgot his brother was still there. He gave him an appreciative nod as he lifted the bedsheet for Claire to get in.

Without looking back at Willie, Claire slipped in next to Jamie. "Thanks, Willie!" She nestled her body close to Jamie, careful not to nudge his injury. Sighing in contentment, she slid her arm across his belly.

Jamie peered down at her loose riot of curls fanning his shoulders, her scent enveloping his senses. There was never any doubt in his mind that she loved him, after all, she had stood in the eye of death to protect those she loved. He owed her that bravery and confidence in their future, and he knew they have a rough road ahead of them. Glancing up the ceiling, he said a silent prayer for strength and hope. Tomorrow, there will be enough time for the hard conversation, but for now, he wanted to simply enjoy her warmth and the feeling of peace surrounding them.

Cradling her closer to him, Jamie dragged in a breath and set his shoulders for the most significant battle he had ever waged. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, thank you for your best wishes. I still have the sniffles, but thankfully, I'm feeling loads better. And also, thank you so much for your feedback, love and kudos. Hugs to all!😘💖


	20. Words Matter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously in A Matter of Fate...
> 
> Jamie almost forgot his brother was still there. He gave him an appreciative nod as he lifted the bedsheet for Claire to get in.
> 
> Without looking back at Willie, Claire slipped in next to Jamie. "Thanks, Willie!" She nestled her body close to Jamie, careful not to nudge his injury. Sighing in contentment, she slid her arm across his belly.
> 
> Jamie peered down at her loose riot of curls fanning his shoulders, her scent enveloping his senses. There was never any doubt in his mind that she loved him, after all, she had stood in the eye of death to protect those she loved. He owed her that bravery and confidence in their future, and he knew they have a rough road ahead of them. Glancing up the ceiling, he said a silent prayer for strength and hope. Tomorrow, there will be enough time for the hard conversation, but for now, he wanted to simply enjoy her warmth and the feeling of peace surrounding them.
> 
> Cradling her closer to him, Jamie dragged in a breath and set his shoulders for the most significant battle he had ever waged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your feedback and kudos. Wishing you all happy reading! 😘❤️

Claire watched Jamie breathed hard, perspiration dampening his forehead as a strand of coppery lock fell just above his brow. He was set and focused as he gritted his teeth, both hands clenching the parallel bars, willing one foot to move in front of the other. When one leg gave out, Jamie muttered curses before relaunching himself. Much to her relief, the final two steps were taken without losing his balance, before he collapsed onto the wheelchair. She tried to refrain from running to him and helping him up lest he snapped at her out of pride and frustration, which seemed to be happening more and more.

It had been four weeks since the operation, and although the procedure was successful, Jamie's mood left little to be desired. Ever since he came out of the operating room and began his rehabilitation, he had been blowing hot and cold - one minute he seemed happy to see her and upbeat about his recovery, and the next, he was distant and cranky. Putting his disposition and her fragile emotions down to their traumatic experience with Annalise, Claire swallowed the heartache of missing the way they once were and hoped, with time, they will both heal.

Despite Jamie's mood swings, a shimmer of connection always sparked to life when they were close, and Claire would notice the softening in his eyes only to shut down once again when she tried to talk anything about the future. She knew he was struggling deep down, and no matter what she did to alleviate the worries, he would excuse his irritability to fatigue.

When he was released from the hospital, Jamie had opted to stay at Lallybroch instead of Claire's house, saying she had enough on her plate to be worrying about him. His decision troubled her tremendously as she had rearranged her furniture to set up the parallel bars and treadmill for his physical therapy. Instead of talking him out of his decision, she simply nodded in understanding and bought herself a car so that she could visit him in Lallybroch whenever she can.

Standing in the doorway of the TV room that's been transformed as Jamie's therapy space, she watched him have another go at walking with the aid of his therapist. Despite his injury, Claire couldn't help but admire Jamie's athletic build. The muscular breadth of his shoulders, the corded biceps that tested the stitching of his white t-shirt sleeves and even his thighs, which were wrapped in sweatpants, were visibly powerful. After the doctor's positive prognosis based on the success of the operation, there was never any doubt he would walk again, but the healing of the mind and heart was far more complicated.

"Sassenach!" Her heart lurched with electricity at the sound of Jamie's voice. His intense blue eyes narrowed, raking over her like they couldn't help it. 

"Hello there," she smiled, snapping out of her daydream. "I didn't want to disturb. Please, keep going and don't mind me. I can wait. I can go to the kitchen and make myself a coffee." She was about to turn around when he stopped her.

"No." He flushed over his own abruptness. "I meant to say, ye're not disturbing. I was just doing an extra round." He nodded to his therapist, who was pushing the wheelchair towards him before turning his attention to Claire once more. "What are ye doing here, Sassenach? Ye've been working all-day. Ye should get some rest." 

It was true she needed rest. She had been working longer hours due to a lot of bookings and preparations for banquets and dinner parties, but sleep had eluded her most nights thinking about Jamie's ever-changing attitude. And on top of that, she had been having recurring nightmares of the shooting. Desperately wanting to move on from the shooting incident and trying to be an understanding girlfriend, she had immersed herself in work, spending whatever free time she had visiting Jamie.

"Wow, that's some greeting," she teased in a low voice, trying her best not to sound hurt at Jamie's lack of enthusiasm at seeing her. She walked over to him to give him a kiss but instead, he offered his cheek. Surprised at the uncharacteristic move, Claire knew she wasn't about to let this one go. It was time to talk. "Jamie, what's up? Don't you want me anymore?"

Jamie waited for the therapist to be out of earshot as he slumped back into his wheelchair. Rubbing his forehead, he clumsily swept his hand through his tousled hair. "I can't do this, Claire."

Stilling her heart, she took a deep breath. "You can't do what, exactly, Jamie?" Claire knew there were a lot of internal battles going on inside him, and she knew too that his male pride had managed to convince himself that he had brought this mess upon them. His old-school way of thinking sometimes frustrated the hell out of her, and he really needed to understand that they needed to work through their issues together. 

Jamie tapped a finger on his thigh, a habit whenever he was nervous, and it only confirmed her suspicions when he refused to look at her. "We need a break," he said finally, his voice barely a whisper.

She raised her chin, somehow not surprised with his announcement. "We need a break? Or do you mean, you need a break from me?" If Jamie thought he was going to be a martyr and do what he thought was right, he had another thing coming. "If you have something to say, look at me in the eyes," Claire said softly. Sounding more confident than she felt, she was determined to show Jamie that she wasn't about to give up on them. 

Gorgeous blue eyes seethed with a mixture of emotions, and immediately his barriers went up but not before Claire could catch a glimpse of what he truly felt. "Our relationship is not working. I can't be with ye, Claire. I'm so sorry."

A combination of anger and sadness threatened to clog her throat, but she composed herself. She waited until the therapist walked out of the room before saying anything. "Let me get this straight, Jamie. First, you said, we need a break, and now you're saying, you can't be with me. Now, which one is it?"

Jaws clenched, Jamie looked as if he was fighting a war internally. "Take a look at me, Sassenach. How can ye be with me? I had so many plans for us, and I have no idea how long I will be like this," he said, waving both hands at his legs. "I'm not the man ye deserve to be with."

Claire could hardly believe what he was saying as she willed herself to take deep, calming breaths. "Right, if the table was turned and I was the one in the wheelchair, would you have left me? Would I be less deserving of you?"

"No! Of course not..." Misery swept across his face.

She dragged in a breath and dove into a tirade. "Well, James Fraser, you listen to me well. You need a break from me, that's fine. You'll get that break. I understand that you need to find your way, and maybe I do too. Christ, Jamie, you were always so damn sure about our future since you had it all planned out right from the beginning. You've known where we're going to live and when I'm going to move into your house. It was always your decision, and in your head, there was never any room for doubt, and I felt like ..."

"Like what?"

"I felt like I was disappearing. Like I don't know myself anymore." Naked pain flickered over his face, but she resisted the urge to reach out. "And now, you are telling me how to feel ...t-that I should see you less deserving of love because you're in a wheelchair. That I should love you less because of what happened. No, Jamie. You don't get to decide when I should stop loving you. And you don't get to choose what is right for me. When we're in a relationship, we take care of each other, and we decide together what is good for both of us. You don't get to shoulder the whole burden. And if you can't see me eye to eye on that, then we really have no future."

His lips tightened. "Sassenach, please, I only want the best for ye."

"Best for me? And what do you think is best for you?" Her eyes stung as she felt the beginning of a barrier separating them, distance and coolness almost tangible in their midst. Claire knew they both needed to heal to move forward, and Jamie had to be confident in their love for their relationship to survive. Not waiting for him to answer, she continued. "It's a harsh world out there, Jamie and I can't have you shutting me out every time something or someone threatens to pull us apart." She blinked and looked at him straight. "I learned over the years that life is messy, and there are no guarantees. And I'm alright with that because the trade-off is worth everything. But I can't do it alone. And neither can you. We have to be in it together to make it work."

"Sassenach..."

"It's alright, Jamie, I understand." Claire forced a smile. "Think about what I've said, and I'll see you when I see you." With that, she turned around and left Lallybroch.

..........

"What? You and Claire are no longer together?" Jenny asked in disbelief.

Jamie sipped his coffee and regarded his siblings and Jenny's fiance, Ian. They were all having breakfast in the kitchen, and their parents have just left for the hotel. Willie's fork, rammed into the pieces of pancakes, was poised mid-flight, and Ian stared, mouth half-open.

"We're on a sort of break. It's for the best because I feel like I'm weighing Claire down."

Ian shook his head. "In other words, ye broke up with her because ye think that ye being in the wheelchair would be too much for her, aye? Weel, that sounds daft especially when ye'll be walking again in a few months. What planet are ye on, Jamie?"

Jamie gave his future brother-in-law a dirty look. "It's complicated. We had a talk, and other issues came out."

Pushing her plate away, Jenny leaned forward on the table. "What other issues? I bet ye, it has something to do with ye deciding what ye think is best for her and being overly protective, all the while doing it behind her back. She's her own person, ye ken. I've seen ye pushed her away countless times every time she visited. Push her some more, and maybe next time, it will stick. and she won't be back."

"We're on a break for crying out loud, and we both agreed to it," Jamie reasoned, exasperatedly. "Aye, it's true, it was my suggestion, but Claire didn't put up much of a fight about it. It seems she wanted the break too."

Willie cleared his throat. "She saw it coming, Jamie. And Jenny is right. Ye've been pushing her away. I dinna ken if ye realised it yet, but it's taking a toll on her. So, the question is, do ye still love her?"

"Of course, I do," Jamie replied. "It's just that, the night of the shooting keeps replaying in my head. It could have been Claire who was shot, and I did this to us. I brought Annalise under this roof. What if anything happened to ma and da? What if I didn't come on time and Annalise killed ye? The image of Claire jumping in front of that gun will haunt me for the rest of my days. And every time I see her, I'm reminded of that night..."

Willie reached out and squeezed Jamie's shoulder. "Hey, I ken it's no' easy to forget what happened. First off, before anything else, ye have to forgive yersel'. Ye can't live yer life living in the past or deny yersel' of happiness because of yer error of judgement. We all make mistakes, we learn from it, and then we move on. No one is blaming ye for anything, Jamie. We were all fooled, and we all carry a bit of responsibility with what happened."

Jamie nodded as he stared out into the window. "Aye, thanks but really, I need to sort out this mess in my head. I suppose I need to fix me first before I could fix our relationship. I think that's what Claire was trying to say."

"Being on the break won't help though," Ian said, shifting on his seat. "Ye're supposed to be there for one another, in good times or bad, and ye're isolating Claire by dealing with yer demons on yer own. Ye won't even give her a chance to help. Ye can't change the past, but ye can damn well make sure ye have open communication in the future. The longer ye are both apart, the more difficult it will be to get back together."

It had only been two days since Claire left, and already Jamie felt like he was slowly going out of his mind. He caught her scent the other day in the hallway and thought she was there only to realise the smell came from her jacket that was hanging on the coat stand. He felt like a wreck, but he hoped with enough time, he would eventually settle.

Groaning into his hands, Jamie propped his elbows on the table. "She hasn't been over the last two days, and I thought she'd still come. Whatever is between us, Lallybroch is still her home. and always will be."

"Aye, that it is," Jenny nodded before glowering at him. "And here I thought ye're a canny lad, but ye're such a big numpty after all. What did ye expect, huh? Ye push her away, and then ye suggest to her to go on a break ... weel, I'm not surprised she hasn't been, and I wouldn't be surprised if she doesn't want anything to do with ye. Stop feeling sorry for yersel' and grow a pair, will ye?"

"Jenny! That's enough!" Willie bellowed, not caring at the hard stare Ian was throwing his way.

Jenny pushed herself from the table and stood up, both hands placed on her hips. "No! The both of ye wheesht!" she shouted, scowling at both her brothers. "It's about time I said something on behalf of Claire. Ye're both a couple of dobbers, and there are far too much of inflated testosterone-filled egos floating about here. Both of ye treat her like some porcelain who's about to break when confronted with the truth. Ye sneak behind her back, ye hide things from her and guise it as protection. She doesn't need to be treated differently. She had enough of that growing up. If I was her, I would have stayed in Switzerland and never came back to this," she snapped, waving her hands in the air.

Face flushed, Jenny took a breather before continuing. "And Jamie, I'm sorry for what happened to ye. I would have been devastated if ye were killed. But ye weren't, and one day ye'll walk again. I dinna mean to heap the blame on ye, but I need to say this. Ye might be the one with the physical injury but did ye know Claire hasn't been sleeping properly? She's been having nightmares about the shooting. Mentally and psychologically, she's injured too, and what did ye do when she reached out? Ye pushed her away when all she wanted was to help. And ye Willie, stop trying too hard to be the alpha of the pack here. We get it...ye're older, but that doesn't excuse ye for being a prick. I love ye both, but sometimes, ye need to be told that both of ye act like a couple of dickheads sometimes. Now, if ye have anything to say to Claire, get yer heads out of yer arses and say it outright to her. Trust me, she's more emotionally mature and stronger than both of ye put together. And for crying out loud, when ye do talk to her, stop talking mince, aye?" Before anyone could react or say anything, Jenny left the kitchen in a huff, all three men watching her with mouths wide open.

Silence fell on the kitchen table, and nobody said anything for a long while. When Jamie finally glanced up, he received sympathetic stares from Ian and Willie, looking just as dazed as him.

"Well, did someone die? You all look miserable."

Everyone's heads snapped towards the kitchen doorway, and there stood Claire, shifting her weight from foot to foot in her trademark gesture of uneasiness. Willie and Ian immediately slid out of their chairs and caught her up in big bear hugs.

Claire laughed and blushed. "Oh! I should skip days coming here more often. Looks like I've been missed." And then, she walked over to Jamie and leaned down to kiss him on the cheek, without a hint of awkwardness. "How are you feeling today?"

"Sassenach, we need to talk ..." he said, hoarsely. Reaching out to take her hand, Jamie wished he could stand and whisk her away. He had been so focused on his rehabilitation lately that he was only noticing now the dark circles under her eyes and how thin she looked. The thought skittered past his brain and stopped. Realising how much he missed her, he wanted to pull her down onto his lap and hug her. "Do ye have time?"

"No, I'm sorry Jamie," she replied, forcing a smile and squeezing his hand. "Can we talk another day? I have a plane to catch."

"Where are ye going?" Jamie, Willie and Ian asked in unison, looking baffled.

"Oh! I thought you all knew." Claire looked at them startled. "I'm attending the Hotel Industry Trade Fair in London. Da wasn't up for it, so I offered to go in his place, and ma will be taking over my office for the next couple of days. Uncle Lamb's anniversary is coming up too so I thought I'd stop by Oxford to lay some flowers. I'm only here to get some documents from da's study."

"Ye never told me," Jamie said grudgingly.

Claire sighed. "Well, you did tell me you needed some alone time, and you did break it off with me."

"I didn't break it off with ye, Claire. We're on a break!" he grated out. Jamie fought back the simmering anger, ready to explode as Willie and Ian watched with amused expressions.

Her gaze narrowed, as annoyance gleamed in her whisky-golden eyes. "It doesn't matter what you call it. Your exact words were, and I quote, _I can't be with you_ , _our relationship is not working,_ " she said coolly. "I'm giving you the space that you ask for, Jamie. Letting you know what I'm up to, would certainly not help your cause."

"Letting us know what ye're up to is for yer own good and for safety reasons," Jamie shot back.

"Jamie, ma and da know where I'm going and what hotel I'm staying in." Her voice dropped into a whisper. "You don't have the right to act like an angry boyfriend when you wanted a break from me. Besides, coincidentally, Frank happens to be travelling to London too. So, I'll be safe enough." 

Her last few words struck him like a baseball bat in the stomach. They stared at each other, their sexual energy swirling around them like a mighty tornado. Jamie smothered a violent curse, shaking with frustration.

Ian finally spoke up. "Well, Claire's only gone for a few days. Besides, what can possibly happen in a Trade fair?"

"Aye, it's only for a couple of days," Willie chimed in with a nervous laugh.

"Thanks." Claire forced a smile, looking relieved and kissed Jamie one more time on the cheek. "I've got to go. Take care and see you soon."

"I'll go with ye to the door," he said gruffly.

"No." The word lashed him like a whip. "I've got this and thank you all for your concern. I'll give da a call when I arrive in London."

Willi and Ian said their goodbyes while Jamie stared into his empty coffee cup.

"Jamie?" 

He looked up at his brother. 

"Ye need not worry about Claire. She still loves ye as much as ye love her, ye ken that, don't ye? Ye belong together, and that is very evident," Willie reassured him with a pat of his back.

He nodded despite the mixed emotions going through him.

Jamie knew that love was still there between them, but life since the shooting had been a mess of jagged pieces that he was desperate to put back together. Ever since Jamie opted to stay in Lallybroch instead of Claire's place for his rehabilitation, he spent nights questioning his decision, unable to sleep with a burning emptiness in his gut. Realising only now how much he'd hurt her, he was determined more than ever, to get back on his feet, literally and fast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so delayed again with this update as my cold from last time has turned into full-blown flu. And in case, you might be wondering, no...I don't have the Corona Virus. Anyway, I'm still in recovery mode and taking a lot of rest, and I think it will be a few more days to a week before I'm back to my old self. Anyway, I hope you've enjoyed this chapter, and I look forward to writing more regularly once I'm fully healed. The last few days, I have been writing a little at a time; hence the slow updates.
> 
> Once again, thank you for reading my story and thank you for all the love, kudos and comments. They are truly appreciated!😘❤️


	21. Family Intervention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously in Words Matter...
> 
> "Thanks." Claire forced a smile, looking relieved and kissed Jamie one more time on the cheek. "I've got to go. Take care and see you soon."
> 
> "I'll go with ye to the door," he said gruffly.
> 
> "No." The word lashed him like a whip. "I've got this and thank you all for your concern. I'll give da a call when I arrive in London."
> 
> Willi and Ian said their goodbyes while Jamie stared into his empty coffee cup.
> 
> "Jamie?" 
> 
> He looked up at his brother. 
> 
> "Ye need not worry about Claire. She still loves ye as much as ye love her, ye ken that, don't ye? Ye belong together, and that is very evident," Willie reassured him with a pat of his back.
> 
> He nodded despite the mixed emotions going through him.
> 
> Jamie knew that love was still there between them, but life since the shooting had been a mess of jagged pieces that he was desperate to put back together. Ever since Jamie opted to stay in Lallybroch instead of Claire's place for his rehabilitation, he spent nights questioning his decision, unable to sleep with a burning emptiness in his gut. Realising only now how much he'd hurt her, he was determined more than ever, to get back on his feet, literally and fast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wishing you all an enjoyable reading! 😘❤️

Willie made his way out of the manor house, leaving Jamie and Ian in the kitchen, the news of his brother and Claire's break-up still whirling around in his head. In a hot flare of guilt and shame, his heart rejoiced, but the nagging voice of reason is telling him to shove those hopes away. Even if Jamie and Claire never got back together, which he thought was highly unlikely, pursuing Claire would be an act of betrayal. Moving on seemed to be the only logical option, but he kept asking himself if he owed it to himself to reveal his true feelings. _Off-limits!_ The mantra had been reprised regularly in his consciousness, yet felt like meaningless rules made for children meant to be broken. 

He was about to get into his car when he heard a sound behind him.

"Willie, wait a sec!"

Willie craned his neck around and saw Jenny coming down the steps of the house, a furrow creasing her forehead. She was dressed in her fiance's sweater, baggy black jeans and ankle boots, disguising her willowy form. Her jet black hair was pulled back from her face in a messy bun. She had always reminded him of a pixie, with her pointed chin, too large blue eyes and petite build. Hidden beneath the diminutive figure, was inner strength, no-nonsense attitude and larger than life character which he admired but threw other people off.

"Ye're no' going to apologise for that wee outburst in there, are ye?" he joked.

She burst out laughing, taking a few steps towards him to close the distance. "Of course not. I meant what I said earlier. Ye lads needed a bit of reality check and reminding that you don't need to behave like Neanderthals to show ye care."

He grinned. "Aye, I suppose we do," he said, leaning down to kiss the top of Jenny's head. "And it's a brother's responsibility to annoy their sisters. And it seems I am still capable of doing that."

"Listen, I'm not here to talk about that." Her eyes turned serious. "Should I be worried about ye? I've seen the way ye looked at Claire, and I ken the look. I've been noticing for some time."

He shifted his weight and stared at the view above his sister's head, trying to find the right words. It was useless denying it to Jenny, who was too perceptive for her own good. "Nothing to talk about. It is what it is, and there's nothing to worry. I don't have any plans for Claire."

"Aye, I kinda expected ye'd say that," she sighed. "But, ye're hovering, like ye're waiting for something ...like ye're waiting for fate to intervene. Ye have to decide, _bràthair._ Either ye forget all about it and get on with life, or ye do yersel' a favour and tell Claire exactly how ye feel. It's the only way to move on. I dinna like the way ye're stuck in some sort of limbo. At least when ye finally do something about it, there'll be no what-ifs in the future."

"I've decided to keep my mouth shut."

"Weel, that may be the case, but it doesn't look like ye're moving on."

He narrowed his gaze. "What exactly are ye worried about?"

"I'm worried ye'll miss opportunities to be happy."

The words fell between them and lay there like massive boulders that refused to budge. Willie's throat clenched with familiar guilt, but he ignored it, making sure to keep his voice firm. "Aye, I need to get my shit together, but dinna fash. Whatever this feeling I have for Claire, it's just infatuation, and I'm not shutting out any possibilities of finding my own happiness. If it makes ye happy, I've asked Geillis to go out on a dinner date with me this weekend."

She seemed to mull over his words to catch the sincerity in his tone and intention. "Alright, I suppose that's a start."

"Mmm, ye don't sound convince."

"It's just that it's been years since I've seen ye in a serious relationship. Or any at all."

The corner of his lip lifted in amusement. Not many people asked direct questions or say it like it is like his sister. His muscles relaxed a bit, glad for her directness. "I've been busy, and there hasn't been anyone that turned my head."

"Now why don't I believe that?" she asked softly, tilting her head to take a better look at him. "Yer head can't be turned because the object of yer affection is sitting right under yer nose. But Claire loves Jamie, and even a blind man can see that. Tell Claire how ye feel, and maybe only then when ye hear it straight from the horse's mouth, ye can truly move on."

He pondered for a while before answering. "No. I ken what ye're trying to say, and I'm alright with it. But telling Claire will only create unnecessary problems. It's better this way. But I'm glad now ye spoke to me because ye just voiced what I already know. Dinna fash though ...I'm braw."

Her face softened. "Good. But now is a good time to begin easing yer way back into the dating game." Then her eyes sparkled with mischief. "Who knows, something might come out of that date with Geillis. I like her. She's a great lass and has her eyes on ye."

He groaned, but she only shot him a wink as she disappeared back into the house. Typical of Jenny - she never sugar-coated anything when she wanted to make a point.

Willie lifted his face to the early morning sun, thinking about why he'd stayed and worked in Italy after finishing his culinary school. The reason was to be closer to Claire. But to be far enough to run away from what he felt for her. Willie never revealed his feelings because deep down, there was always this silent understanding she was Jamie's girl. So now he's back home, and he'd come full circle, back to the place where it all started, trying to put the pieces of his life together. _How bloody ironic!_

..........

Claire grabbed her c _afé americano_ from the Starbuck's counter and squeezed herself into a corner table. She spoke into the wireless earpiece. "Hey, da. Just letting you know I've arrived in London. I have a couple of hours to kill before I head for the trade show. Is there anything else you want me to do while I'm here?"

She winced at the blistering array of profanity coming from Murtagh in the background, feeling sorry for the service and kitchen staff. Why did kitchen chefs have the worst tempers of all?

Claire took a sip of her coffee and grimaced. This was her fifth since leaving Lallybroch, and somehow, as the day went on, the taste was beginning to lose its appeal. 

Brian let out a sharp intake of breath, most probably because of whatever commotion was happening in the kitchen. She silently hoped it had nothing to do with the list of instructions she left behind for Murtagh before leaving the hotel. "No, _leannan._ Just make sure ye get as many brochures and pictures from the list of exhibitors that I wrote down. And enquire about the app solutions. Willie is insistent we have a hotel app as part of our marketing strategy."

"Got that! If ma needs anything in London, tell her to let me know. I'll be heading for Oxford tomorrow morning to lay some flowers for uncle Lamb, and if everything goes well, I should be home tomorrow night."

"I'll let yer ma know ...and Claire ..."

A reluctance in Brian's voice rang in her ears. On impulse, she tried another sip of her coffee before pushing it away. "Oh, another thing, da ... in case I'm late checking in tonight, I'm meeting an old school friend for dinner in some bistro in Nottingham Hill. His name is Frank. You know, Jamie's old friend."

"Aye, that's alright." He paused in between, clearing his throat. "Listen ...this with Jamie, I've heard all about it. Ye know that everything will sort itself out, aye? Just give it a bit of time. It hasn't been easy on both of ye or any of us. The opening of the hotel and work piling up hasn't really given anyone a chance to wrap their head with what happened."

Holding back a sigh, she thought of Jamie's reaction that morning. He hadn't been impressed with her sudden trip to London, and already, he seemed to be regretting his decision to take a break from their relationship. On the plane trip, she had thought long and hard about their situation, and came to the conclusion that maybe it was what they both needed. Lately, they hadn't been good for one another.

Claire tamped down the urge to cry, feeling suddenly emotional. It was totally out of her character. "I know, da. Maybe it's for the best that Jamie and I take some time off. I've been overly sensitive lately, and being a wreck around him is not helping us at all. Maybe the lack of sleep has thrown me off balance. But don't worry. Like what you said, it will sort itself out."

There was a moment of silence on the other end. "Claire, are ye alright? Maybe ye should take a few days off. Ellen told me ye've been pushing yersel' hard lately. I don't want ye falling ill."

Homesickness squeezed at her heart. All she wanted at that very moment was to be in her own bed and sleep for a whole week. She felt exhausted all of a sudden. "I must admit I'm tired, but a solid eight-hour sleep should do the trick. Maybe I'll take a nap before going to the trade show."

"Alright sweetheart. I'll let ye go. Please, do take care, and I'll speak to ye soon."

"Thanks, da, and I love you." She wanted to prolong their conversation. It had been ages since they had a heart to heart talk. But it wasn't the time and the place. 

"I love ye too."

She tapped the button and ended the call, resisting the urge to message Jamie. Maybe tonight when her head was a bit clearer, and she didn't feel like on the verge of tears. There was work to be done, and she needed all of the energy she could muster to focus.

But that night after dinner with Frank, fatigue got the better of her. The moment she sat down in the antique armchair in her room, she fell into a restless sleep full of nightmares. She woke up at two am in the morning, and after dragging herself from the chair, changing into Jamie's shirt and going to bed, she tossed and turned for the rest of the night, unable to sleep until the sun came up.

.........

It had been over three weeks, and Claire hadn't called nor texted. Not that Jamie expected she would, after all, it was him who suggested taking a break from their relationship. But oh how he lived in hope to catch a glimpse of her or hear her voice. Although she had some reading materials, treats and single-line notes that said _I hope you're well_ sent over to him, it didn't ease the sinking feeling that he had pushed her away for good.

Everyone took turns visiting him, except the person that mattered most, and her absence made the manor house seemed too big and empty. Even if visitors, like staff from the hotel and old friends like Frank bearing gifts and best wishes regularly came, none of it mattered, when all he could think of was Claire.

There were stories that she was working around the clock and sometimes she stayed in the hotel until early hours in the morning when there were banquets and special events held. And Willie rarely came home, staying at Claire's and Geillis house to be nearer to the workplace. Sometimes Jamie couldn't help but wonder if his brother was taking advantage of their situation and was spending more time with her. _No!_ _His brother would never do that._ _Or would he?_ After all, on paper, Claire was single.

One late evening he managed to get hold of her when he called, and it was a good thing as she had dozed off in her office. She had muttered sleepily and briefly about needing to go to bed, so he had left it at that, hoping she would call the following day. But she never did. It was the last time they had spoken, and her voice still echoed in his ears, the throaty, husky drawl she had when woken from a sleep. Although worried for her health, he was so proud of her achievements at work. In only a matter of weeks, the hotel was already fully booked for every weekend that coming summer as a venue for weddings, conferences and other special functions. Claire was relentless in amping up the hotel's social media presence and promoting their town as a perfect highland destination. Everyone in the family had been on her case to slow down, but all they got in response was reassurances that she was fine.

That day, he spent most of the afternoon, pushing himself to walk, trying the treadmill on a slow mode and doing pull-up exercises until his therapist firmly told him to stop. Adrenaline bubbled in his veins like a frothy pint of beer, but he knew if he over-did it, he could do more harm than good to himself. Frustrated, he longed to hear Claire's voice and his fingers itched to call her. He had tried calling a few times, but every time he got hold of her, either she was busy with work, in the middle of something, or unable to answer at all.

Limbs still tingling from the massage he got from his therapist, he was grateful for any feelings he had around his thighs even if it meant pain and discomfort that kept him awake at night. Sat in the lounge staring at the phone in one hand and nursing a tumbler of whisky in the other, he mentally debated whether to call Claire or not, for the umpteenth time.

"That phone will combust if ye stare at it long enough."

He looked up and saw his sister stood in front of him, studying his face. "Hey, what's up?"

As if reading his mind, she smiled at him. "I was at the hotel earlier. Claire was really busy in case ye're wondering. She hardly had time to stop and talk. She was busy discussing menus with wedding clients." 

"Aye, I've heard. Looks like the hotel and restaurant are in good hands." His pride for Claire multiplied. She had worked hard for their family's legacy, giving it her all. He thought of her at the opening party, surrounded by crowds, champagne and excitement, and she handled it like she had been doing it all her life. She was indeed one of them - a Fraser through and through and how he would love to give her his name and make it official. Their problem was never about her. It was always about him. 

Jenny got comfortable in the battered armchair opposite him and winked. "But I managed to speak to her for a few seconds. I invited her to come for dinner tomorrow night."

Jamie caught the twinkle in her eyes. "Are ye interfering Jenny? I don't want ye forcing Claire to come here when she doesn't feel like seeing me." Despite his mild irritation with his sister, he couldn't help but feel hopeful. 

"Don't be ridiculous." She reached out for the tumbler he was holding and took a sip of his whisky. "I couldn't force Claire to do anything even if I wanted to."

"Weel, what is it? Is she coming or no'? What did she say?"

Jenny grinned mischievously. "She said she would love to come. Anyway, the wheelchair shouldn't have stopped ye from going to see her ye know. Anyone of us was willing to take ye wherever ye want to go. So what's been stopping ye?"

"Guess ye ken all the answers. So why don't ye solve all my problems?" Jamie asked, irritation coursing through him. "I've realised I can't go on like this. I hate being stuck in this wheelchair. I hate being stuck at home. The longer we're apart, the more likely I'll lose Claire forever. I feel I've let her down in more ways I can imagine and I didn't even realise I've been doing it for some time. All I know is that I love her and I can't live without her. And ye want to know what's stopping me from seeing her? The fact that I may never be right again is not fair on her. So, Jenny, solve that one for me, will ye."

His sister's blue eyes flashed with empathy and an understanding that came from growing side by side. "I wish I could," she said softly. "One thing I do know is what ye've been through was traumatic. Ye are over-thinking things, and ye're having panic attacks. Ye should go easy on yersel'. And ye're not the only one suffering ...Claire is suffering too from the trauma, but she is trying to deal with it the best way she could. She is not avoiding ye because she wants to. She is simply exhausted. Da is already thinking of hiring an assistant for her to ease her workload."

"Christ, that exhaustion has been going on for some time. Maybe Claire ought to see a doctor. Why doesn't she take some extra days off? Surely the hotel isn't going to implode in her absence."

Jenny shrugged. "Tell me about it. She's been suffering from insomnia ever since the shooting, and I guess she's driving herself to exhaustion in the hope it would knock her to sleep. Or maybe, she can't sleep because ye aren't by her side. Have ye ever thought of that?"

He shook his head and groaned. "I don't know. All I know is that I am beginning to understand now how she must have felt when I pushed her away. All these weeks without her and not seeing her, I haven't been able to sleep much either."

His sister smiled and raised the tumbler of whisky in the air. "There ye go. There's yer answer. Claire is yer home. Ye're both at home with each other, but this messy shit with Annalise got in the way. I couldn't understand why ye didn't want to stay at Claire's right from the start, but I guess it's because ye're a numpty. Oh sure, getting back together and living together will throw a lot of challenges along the way, and it's going to suck big time. There will be a lot of therapies and a lot of talks and a lot of compromises, but together, I think ye're stronger. There are endless possibilities, Jamie and with love, both of ye could make it work, as long as ye don't let that stupid pride get in the way."

Emotion choked his throat. "How do ye know Jenny? How can ye sound so sure?"

"Because even though ye don't believe it, ye're an extraordinary lad. Sometimes a real pain in the arse and stubborn as a mule, but whatever ye focus on, ye succeed, and ye conquer. Just like Claire. Ma and da taught us that. It's in our blood that love for home and Claire is yer home. Ye understand?"

Yes, he understood. His sister always shot straight and true, which was precisely what he needed. "Aye, I understand."

Jenny refilled his glass with whisky and got one for herself, and together they drank and watched the fire. Jamie took the time to go over his plans and accept his decision. And finally, he realised his breath was clear, and that awful tightness in his chest was gone because deep down in his guts, he knew the decision was right.

He was going to move heaven and earth to win back Claire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I hope you're all well and that you are keeping safe and healthy from the Corona Virus. For those who are affected by the lockdown and the illness, I'm sending you all prayers and hugs, and hopefully, this will be over soon.
> 
> Thank you all for your best wishes, comments and kudos. I hope you've enjoyed this chapter.


	22. Trifle Before Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously in Family Intervention...
> 
> "There will be a lot of therapies and a lot of talks and a lot of compromises, but together, I think ye're stronger. There are endless possibilities, Jamie and with love, both of ye could make it work, as long as ye don't let that stupid pride get in the way."
> 
> Emotion choked his throat. "How do ye know Jenny? How can ye sound so sure?"
> 
> "Because even though ye don't believe it, ye're an extraordinary lad. Sometimes a real pain in the arse and stubborn as a mule, but whatever ye focus on, ye succeed, and ye conquer. Just like Claire. Ma and da taught us that. It's in our blood that love for home and Claire is yer home. Ye understand?"
> 
> Yes, he understood. His sister always shot straight and true, which was precisely what he needed. "Aye, I understand."
> 
> Jenny refilled his glass with whisky and got one for herself, and together they drank and watched the fire. Jamie took the time to go over his plans and accept his decision. And finally, he realised his breath was clear, and that awful tightness in his chest was gone because deep down in his guts, he knew the decision was right.
> 
> He was going to move heaven and earth to win back Claire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wishing you all happy reading! 😘❤️

The phone in the restaurant rang as Claire was about to brief the service staff. She nodded to the head waiter to answer it and looked at the time. Lunch service was about to commence, and she needed to explain the new _eight-course degustation menu_ for that evening before she headed for Lallybroch later.

Jenny had invited her to come for dinner, and it would be the first time in weeks she would see Jamie. At that moment, her mind was too fuzzy to care if this was meant to be some sort of intervention on Jenny's part. Either way, it was high time that she showed her face in Lallybroch and she was looking forward to some home-cooking. She missed Jamie a lot, especially at night when sleep eluded her. Even if she hadn't self-imposed keeping her distance from him, mounting work and constant exhaustion would have deterred her from visiting anyway.

"It's for you," the waiter informed her.

She prayed it was anyone other than Murtagh as she took the call. "Yes?"

"Claire!" It was Geillis calling from the reception. "Miss Geneva Dunsany is here about the assistant position." Geillis' formal use of Geneva's name must mean she was nearby. "She says that yer da sent her to see ye. Shall I send her to yer office or are ye still in the restaurant?" 

Geillis' voice held a hint of sympathy, as it's known within inner circles Claire had been under a lot of stress. Of all people to apply for the assistant position, it had to be her former high school bully, Geneva. Claire resisted to let out a frustrated moan, conscious of the staffs' eyes on her. She wanted one perfect day. Just one, where there were no problems, no issues, no one from her past showing up, no lit embers to extinguish, and everyone was content and happy. "Can you please accompany her to my office? I'm still doing a briefing, and it shouldn't take long. And please send one of the bar waiters to ask her what she would like to drink."

"I'm on it," Geillis said before the line went dead.

Claire quickly went through the menu details as well as wine, aperitif and digestif recommendations with the service staff, part of her not entirely focusing on the task at hand. _Does Geneva realise that the position she's applying for would require them to work closely together?_ Even if resentment threatened to overflow toward her tormentor from what seemed like a lifetime away, she knew she needed to handle the situation with a level head and be as professional as possible.

After the briefing, she made her way to the reception before heading to her office to interview Geneva. As usual, her friend, Louise, was covering the front area while Geillis was in the back office. After a quick greeting to Louise, she headed for the back room and found Geillis perched on her chair, barely visible behind piles of paper works, boxes and folders. Her bright red hair was the only beacon to help Claire find her in the chaos that made up Geillis' desk.

Claire dropped into the opposite chair. "Geneva doesn't realise she would be working with me, does she?"

Geillis' head popped up, and a look of disgust marred her face. "I don't think so. She came in all high and mighty announcing she has an appointment with Brian about a job and that Jamie wanted her to take it. She talked like she bagged the position already."

Claire's eyes widened. "Really? Well, we will see about that." Leaning back on the chair, she crossed her arms across her chest. "I'm responsible for hiring service and kitchen staff, and that applies to my future assistant. And I don't believe for one second that Jamie would say to Geneva to take the job."

"Aye, I ken. I wanted to wipe that smug look on her face. She was probably envisioning herself as the future Mrs Fraser the way she strutted in here all haughty. But dinna fash. I didn't say anything, other than that ye will soon see her."

"Good, good." She bit her lip, thinking of what else to say. "I best get going then. We don't want to keep the princess waiting."

"Oh, and Claire ..." Geillis stood up with her and walked around the desk. "Willie asked me out to dinner this coming weekend. A kind of a date. I've meant to ask ... ye have nothing to do with it, have ye?"

Pleasantly surprised, she smiled. "Oh, that's nice, and no, I didn't have anything to do with it." Hesitating a bit, Claire continued. "Although I must admit, I did speak to him a couple of months back. You know, after you told me about your one night stand with him."

Geillis' breath hitched as she slapped her forehead and groaned. "No, ye didn't. Oh, God, Claire! What on earth did ye tell him?"

She sighed. "I know you told me not to interfere, but all I said to Willie was that I didn't want to see you hurt." Taking her friend's hand, she smiled. "And that's the truth, Geillis. I know it's not in Willie's character to hurt anyone, but I wanted to give him something to think about because I knew you liked him a lot."

"Good Lord! He must think I'm a kiss-and-tell type of lass. The last thing I need in my life is a pity-date!"

"It's not a pity-date!" she countered earnestly. "Trust me. Willie is asking you out because he likes you and not because of something I said. Ok? He has a mind of his own."

Still looking dubious, Geillis conceded with a long, drawn-out breath. "Weel, I'll find out this weekend, I guess. And just to let you know ...I will be able to tell if it's a pity date or not. And if it's a pity date, I'm flying out of Scotland in the next available plane," Geillis warned, a hint of a smile lighting her face before regarding her with a thoughtful expression. "And Claire?"

"Hmmm?"

"Just remember, no one is going to judge ye if ye turn down Geneva's application. She was horrible to ye in the past, and she is still an awful person now. Ye ken, ye don't always have to do the right thing ... but whichever way ye choose to handle her application, decide for yer peace of mind, aye? Mind ye, ye've been through some serious shit, and ye don't need some petty person causing trouble in yer workplace."

Claire gave her friend a quick hug. "Thank you. You're such a great friend. I'm so happy you're here - I don't know what I'd do without you."

"I know." Her cheeks dimpled as she reached out and plucked a manila folder from the teetering stack. "Here's Geneva's resume and references. She said she brought it just for formality and refused to hand it to me. But I have my methods of persuasion, ye ken?"

Claire rolled her eyes as she took the folder, quickly flipping through it. "Right, I best go. I have heaps of things to do before I go to Lallybroch."

"Oooh, is our wee fox cub out of the doghouse?" Geillis asked, winking at Claire as she went back to her messy desk.

"Ha, ha! Very funny. He was never in the doghouse in the first place. He was right, though - we needed some time apart to heal. But all this healing is quite exhausting if I'm honest," she mused as she turned to go. "Anyway, I'll see you later."

Mentally debating if she should bring an overnight bag to Lallybroch, Claire quickly made her way to her office. Dinners at the manor house always meant there will be wine and whisky to accompany the meals. Brian was a stickler to no driving whenever alcohol was involved, and so she decided, there and then, she would stay at Lallybroch for the night. It was the most practical thing to do. And of course, spending time with Jamie would be a bonus. 

As Claire opened the door to her office, Geneva turned around from her chair and automatically, her excitement at the thought of seeing Jamie dissipated. Geneva's aura practically vibrated with hateful energy making her shudder. Clad in a simple black pantsuit, Geneva emanated elegance and arrogance. With a simple nod of acknowledgement, Geneva remained seated, looking as cool as a cucumber as she waited for Claire to take her seat. They stared at one another for a while in silence, both preparing for the conversation.

"So, have you taken a peek at my resumes? It was meant for Brian to take a look at," Geneva finally asked, her voice clipped and sharp.

"I did look at them briefly. And Brian doesn't need to." Claire opened the folder and took her time pouring over the papers, refusing to be rattled. "I see you don't have any experience working in a hotel. Although it's not a necessity for the position, working in the hospitality industry is quite demanding. And it could mean long hours and sometimes, working during weekends."

A nasty smile twisted her lips. "I'm aware of that. So when does Brian want me to start? I have an appointment at the hair dresser's, and I don't want to be late because of some idle chit-chat."

 _Enough was enough!_ Claire slammed the manila folder on her table. "I don't have time for idle chit-chat either, and obviously, this interview is going nowhere. You are rude and disrespectful, and there is no way in hell, I will have someone working with me, under stressful conditions with such vile attitude as yours. Now, please, get out of my sight," she said in a steady low voice, trying to contain a temper threatening to erupt.

Claire steeled herself for Geneva's comeback. Instead, the girl opposite her stared with a look of surprise. "B-but Jamie and Brian ...they said ..."

"It's not up to them. I'm the one hiring. Now get your pompous arse out of my office. Now!"

Straightening her shoulders, Geneva stood up. "Very well," she said. "This is not the last time you'll be hearing from me. You don't own this hotel, and it's not up to you."

The door Claire thought was shut, suddenly swung open. "Aye, it's up to her, lass." Brian casually walked in and leaned down to kiss Claire on the forehead. Turning to face Geneva, he sauntered back to the door and motioned for her to leave. "I wish ye better luck with yer next interview, Geneva. Please leave now, I wish to speak to my daughter."

Without a word and her face turning a dark shade of red, Geneva hurriedly left the room. Claire suddenly felt sorry for her and couldn't fathom why the girl hated her so much. She almost wanted to run after Geneva and ask what she had against her.

"Ye alright, _leannan?_ " Brian's soft voice broke into her trance.

Claire simply nodded, relieved that Brian heard the whole conversation. She didn't think she had the energy to explain what happened. "I'm alright, da, thanks," Claire replied with a weak smile. Not wanting to dwell on what just happened, she quickly changed the subject. "I'll be joining you for dinner tonight. Do you want me to bring anything on the way?"

"No, just bring yersel' and yer appetite." Grabbing Geneva's resumes on her table, Brian quickly looked at it before chucking it in the bin. "That's the end of that. And by the way, ye're having a day off tomorrow, and Ellen and I will not be joining ye tonight. We're having dinner with some friends visiting from England."

"Oh! But I can't have a day off tomorrow. There's ..."

Brian gave her a mock stern look. "No _buts_ Claire. We have it covered. Ye enjoy dinner tonight and if need be, stay in Lallybroch for the night."

Claire closed her eyes briefly, and she knew only too well that it was useless to argue with Brian. "If you say so, da." Standing on her tiptoes, she kissed him on the cheek and smiled. "Jamie certainly got his stubbornness from you."

Laughing, Brian hugged her. "Aye, lass, it takes one to know one."

..........

"Jenny, can I help ye with anything?" Jamie hobbled into the kitchen with the help of a crutch. "I'm not useless in the kitchen, ye ken."

Jenny turned around, frowning at him for not using the wheelchair. "Just sit and talk to me, will ye. The poached salmon is done and is keeping warm in the oven nicely. I just need to grill some asparagus and sautee the potatoes before serving." She gestured to his ten days worth of facial hair which had turned into a heavy stubble. "Aren't ye going to shave that before Claire comes?"

He ran a hand over his chin and shrugged. "I don't know ...ye think Claire will like it?"

"Ye look like that big ginger guy, Tormund from Game of Thrones. Ye ken, one of the Wildlings."

He grinned. "I do? He's not that bad. I kind of like his character."

She kept staring. "You've been bunked up here, most of the time alone like some crazy hermit and ye have that wild beard look going on there. But I must say, ye look good, and it's really great to see ye smile for once, Jamie."

"I guess I'm making progress, but I'm only just starting to notice now. I can't wait to start running soon."

Jenny gave a suffering sigh. "Jamie! Focus on walking first. Baby steps - wee baby steps at a time. And don't overdo it or ye'll injure yersel' bad, and then ye're back to where ye started." She studied his face, her perceptive blue eyes assessing his condition in a true sisterly fashion. "How are yer back and thighs?"

His right thigh throbbed, so he shifted his weight to take some of the pressure of. "There are good days and bad days, but I'm feeling much better today. So, what can I do?" he asked, trying to redirect Jenny's attention elsewhere.

If Jamie was honest with himself, his injury had dragged some hard truths to the surface about his relationship with Claire. After some serious and eye-opening conversation with his sister the night before, he knew he was ready to face them all. This time, he hoped to face them together with Claire. No more hiding, no more secrets and hopefully, they can leave the past behind for good and look forward to the future. That's if she'll have him back!

Looking at her culinary handiwork, Jenny placed her hands on her hips. "We're all set, Jamie. There's nothing left to do except wait for Claire and Ian. The wine is chilling in the bucket, and the table is ready. I'll start cooking the asparagus and potatoes once drinks are served."

The sound of crunching gravel and engine alerted them to an arrival. On cue, Jenny looked out the window. "It's Claire," she announced.

Jamie didn't need telling. Turning around supported by his crutch, he made his way to the hallway, trying his best to hide his limp. His hip bones creaked as he moved, reminding him he had been stood in one position for too long. As Jamie walked into the front room, he glanced at the organised chaos, the earthy colours and textures of antiques and the worn, faded Persian rug revealed in perfect glory. A proper lived-in home. This was what he wanted for him and Claire - their own lived-in home.

Shivers of memory coursed through him, bringing him back to his childhood years. It was spent in this exact place, perched on the stairs, pondering his life. This was where his dreams and plans were laid out, where hurts and heartbreaks were healed. He could see himself and Claire making the Highlands their home and wondered if it would be enough for her. But he wondered too if she was too young to envision such things far into the future. For a few precious moments, the tattered hole in his soul took a breath and sighed. He slowly moved forward, ready to greet whatever came ahead.

..........

Claire inserted her keys into the lock and pushed the heavy door while juggling a couple of bottles of white wine, flowers for Jenny and her overnight bag. Her heart lightened, and her stomach growled as she smelled the fresh, herby scent of cooking. Using her back to force the door to open wider, she felt a hand grabbed her overnight bag, and she looked up, startled.

"Jamie!" she breathed. _Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ!_

Her words seemed to drift away as she stared at Jamie in total fascination, her brain short-circuiting at the sight of him. His normally trimmed and brushed back coppery coloured hair, curled wildly over his forehead, and a striking beard which she had never seen on him before, hugged his jaw. The whole look was bordering on wild as she took in the plain black t-shirt that stretched over his muscular, broad shoulders and the visible bronzed skin on his arms. Sky blue eyes piercing with intensity froze her in place and gave her a funny lurch in the tummy. It felt like she was meeting him for the first time.

"Sassenach?" Looking confused, Jamie consciously ran a hand through his several days worth of scruff. "Is it that bad? I can go and shave if ye wish," he said softly.

She shook off her thoughts and reconnected with the land of the living. "No. Sorry. You look ...you look different. It suits you. Really." Her fingers itched to touch his tousled hair, the strands glowing almost gold underneath the ceiling light. "And ...and you're on your feet. That's great!"

Grinning, he swayed slightly. "Aye, that I am." Claire remained frozen on the spot, and after what seemed like an eternity, staring and soaking each other's presence, he shifted closer until just a foot of space lay between them. Leaning down, hesitatingly at first, he kissed her briefly on the lips. As he pulled back, his eyes searched her face for any signs of objections, and when he found none, his bottom lip lifted in a half-smile, the corners of his eyes crinkling.

 _Oh, God!_ Her heart thundered. It was merely a featherlike brushing of lips, but his beard tickled and scraped the sensitive skin around her chin. His mouth, soft, firm and full, was almost humble in its hesitation to prolong the kiss. Blushing profusely, she lifted up the two bottles of wine she was holding. "I brought two bottles of Sauvignon Blanc. I thought these would go well with salmon," she stammered, feeling like a bumbling teenager.

"Ye ken how to pair wine with food. Aye, it's certainly a classic," Jamie chuckled, stepping away to let her in. "Come on, Sassenach, it's cold, and dinner is almost ready. We don't want to keep Jenny waiting." 

A giggle escaped her lips as she walked into the warmth of the hallway. "No, we certainly do not. But I think it's Ian who's late this time. I haven't seen his car outside."

"He should be here at any moment soon," he said, in a gravelly voice as he planted her bag on the floor.

Placing the flowers and wines on the console table, Claire was very aware of his stinging blue gaze raking over her. She needed a moment to compose herself before her mind clicked into overdrive, as he was standing too close. The primal scent of man and shower gel rose to her nostrils, teasing a small moan from her chest. "You go ahead. I'll just take off my coat. I shan't be long."

He nodded with a smile, making her heart do somersaults. "I'll get ye a drink then," he said as he started to move away. 

Claire noticed his movements were graceful despite his injury, as her eyes automatically landed on his rear, framed magnificently in his jeans. _Get a grip Beauchamp! You're salivating like a mare in heat!_ Annoyed with herself for thinking indecent thoughts, she quickly took off her coat and made her way to the kitchen with the wines and flowers.

As she walked in she was greeted by a flushed-face Jenny removing her apron in a flurry. "Oh God, Claire! Sorry, it's just going to be ye and Jamie," she prattled, looking over her shoulder at her brother who seemed to be annoyed. "Listen, I forgot tonight is Ian's pal's birthday and we were invited. I'm supposed to pick him up at work in 30 minutes. Everything is done already, and all it needs is dishing up. Ok?" Not waiting for her to respond, Jenny gave Claire a quick peck on the cheek and dashed out of the kitchen. "Love ye both, and we'll not be coming home tonight. We'll be staying at Ian's apartment. Don't wait up." Jenny shouted as she ran up the stairs.

Claire stared at Jamie in astonishment, wondering what the hell just happened. "This is a setup, isn't it?"

"I'm so sorry, Sassenach. I had no idea we'd be alone. I promise ye, I had nothing to do with it," he explained, shuffling on his feet. "Ye were probably looking forward to a family dinner..."

Claire's face softened as she walked over to Jamie. "I was looking forward to homemade food, and by the looks of it, we have that." Standing in front of him, she placed a hand on his cheek. "And I was also looking forward to catching up with you." The insides of her hand tingled as she touched his face, and she quickly let them fall to her side.

"Weel, I'm glad ye came, Sassenach. I wasn't so sure ye would with all the work in the hotel," he said softly, taking her hand and kissing her palm. The sexual chemistry took hold and twisted sharply between them, the look of longing in his eyes demanding her to surrender. 

Her eyes half-closed, she took a deep breath, needing to calm the crazy rioting emotions flooding through her in waves. She knew she had missed Jamie, but she didn't realise that seeing him today after a long time apart, would turn her into a shuddering mess. Before she could process more of her thoughts, she took a step back. "I'll serve the food, and you open the wine?" 

"Of course." Even with the space between them, his leashed sexual energy lashed out at her in droves, trying to pull her back in. "We might as well. I'm so hungry, I could eat a horse," he said good-humouredly, lightening the mood.

"So am I." Grateful for the change of subject, Claire laughed as she headed towards the hob to serve the delights Jenny had prepared for them. Looking now at the portions, it was quite obvious she made dinner, only for two. _What an interfering little witch! she thought._ Smiling, she began plating their dishes as she mentally thanked Jenny for her intervention, feeling happy for the first time in weeks. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear Readers, I hope you're all keeping safe and healthy. If you're affected in any way by the Corona Virus, either by the lockdown or illness itself, hang in there my friends. Keep the hope up and know, I'm thinking and praying for you all. Sending you all my love and best wishes.
> 
> PS Thank you for your love, kudos and comments. So appreciated!😘❤️


	23. Reclaim Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously in Trifle Before Dinner
> 
> Her eyes half-closed, she took a deep breath, needing to calm the crazy rioting emotions flooding through her in waves. She knew she had missed Jamie, but she didn't realise that seeing him today after a long time apart, would turn her into a shuddering mess. Before she could process more of her thoughts, she took a step back. "I'll serve the food, and you open the wine?" 
> 
> "Of course." Even with the space between them, his leashed sexual energy lashed out at her in droves, trying to pull her back in. "We might as well. I'm so hungry, I could eat a horse," he said good-humouredly, lightening the mood.
> 
> "So am I." Grateful for the change of subject, Claire laughed as she headed towards the hob to serve the delights Jenny had prepared for them. Looking now at the portions, it was quite obvious she made dinner, only for two. What an interfering little witch! she thought. Smiling, she began plating their dishes as she mentally thanked Jenny for her intervention, feeling happy for the first time in weeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Wishing you all happy reading!😘❤️

Dinner was delicious, and she didn't expect anything less from Jenny's expertise in home-cooking. Clutching her tummy, Claire looked at their empty plates and wondered how she managed to stay away from Lallybroch for so long. For the past few weeks, she had been feeding herself with kitchen tidbits from the hotel, never really taking the time to sit down and enjoy a full meal. With everything that had happened and weighed down with work, she had almost forgotten how phenomenal Jenny's cooking was and how much the manor house gave her a sense of peace and calm. 

Feeling already sated but still craving for more, she resisted the urge to wipe the remaining lemon butter sauce on her plate with bread. Instead, she took a sip of her wine and enjoyed the crisp, citrusy flavour swirling in her mouth. She sighed and closed her eyes in satisfaction, and seconds passed without her and Jamie speaking. As always, they shared a rare form of communication - years spent together in their youth created an extra foundation allowing them to be comfortable with silence.

Finally, she opened her eyes and looked into Jamie's amused twinkling blue pair. "Ye look like ye enjoyed that," he observed, grinning. "Are ye ready for dessert?"

"Mmmm, always," she hummed, as she began to gather the plates, slightly feeling tiddly from the wine. "What are we having?"

"Lemon meringue pie." When he started to move, Claire motioned for him to remain seated as she stood up. She noticed several times throughout their meal how often he shifted on his seat, noting the stiffness in his frame.

"Jamie, is your back bothering you?"

"No. Just a dull ache on my thigh," he said lightly, glancing down. "I skipped my physio today. Dinna fash though, Sassenach. The doctor said it's normal to feel phantom pain once in a while."

She forced a smile as she resumed clearing the table. Despite Jamie's obvious discomfort, the evening had gone seemingly well as they kept their conversation light and neutral. They had avoided talking about the shooting incident and their relationship status, instead, focusing on her work and his on-going therapy. Feeling relaxed for the first time in weeks, she didn't want to ruin their time together by bringing up the squabble with Geneva. As far as she was concerned, it was a closed case. 

After a quick clean up, Jamie suggested they took their dessert and coffee in the TV room, his provisional living quarter, where he could be more comfortable in an armchair. Carrying the tray, she followed him into the room and felt suddenly conscious when she caught sight of his bed in the far end. Although there was no hint of seduction on Jamie's part, Claire couldn't help the heat creeping up her face. Tamping down images of his naked sleeping form, she placed the tray on the coffee table and focused on serving dessert, which did the trick.

"This looks lush. Did you make it?" Claire asked, her mouth watering already as she sliced into the fluffy toasted meringue topping.

"Aye. But Jenny insisted on finishing it off. She didn't like sharing the kitchen with me," he confessed, laughing. "So, it was a joint effort, really."

"I can imagine. No one is allowed to get in Jenny's way once she's in the kitchen." She scooped a slice of pie for each plate and poured coffee from the cafetiere into the mugs. "And those bread rolls! She could have easily just bought them. Instead, she made them from scratch. They were perfection, but she's nuts!" She made a face at the smell of coffee as she was about to take a sip. Changing her mind, she placed the mug back on the table.

"What's wrong with the coffee?" 

Claire shrugged. "I have no idea. It smells odd to me these days. I should have probably made herbal tea instead."

Jamie remained standing, shifting his weight back and forth. "You drink far too much coffee that your body is beginning to rebel against it," he joked. As Claire caught the faintest flicker of discomfort crossed his features, she stopped what she was doing and turned to face him. "Okay, Jamie, I've had enough of this. Take your pants off."

His eyebrows shot up, and he stilled. "Sorry?"

Realising how those last words sounded, she cocked her head and glared. "You're in bloody pain. Let me massage where it hurts and relieve some of the pressure. You said so yourself ...you missed your physio. Maybe that's why you're hurting."

"Ye don't have to." His voice came out sharp and unyielding. She quashed down a sigh at his pride, knowing how he hated to admit he was hurting or to show any weakness.

"Please, Jamie, I want to. Let me help."

He studied her for the longest time, his own face impassive. "Very weel..." he conceded, placing his crutch against the armchair. Keeping his eyes on her, he casually pulled the belt from the loops and unbuckled it. A snap of his wrist released the button, and then he lowered his zipper with deliberate slowness, revealing the black boxer briefs underneath. "Care to help me out of this?" he asked in a low voice, as he tugged at the waistband of his jeans.

 _Holy!_ She never anticipated that. Trying not to blush, she dropped her gaze. _For crying out loud, Beauchamp, you've seen him naked before!_ "Ah, of course," she mumbled, as she hurried over to him. Going down on her knees, she helped him first out of his shoes while he held onto the armchair for support, before lowering his jeans. With a few twists and turns, he was freed from his trousers. "There we go, all done," she announced with a small smile, irritated her voice came out like a squeak.

Jamie reached from behind his neck and pulled his shirt off, exposing lean, solid muscle dusted with dark red hair. Even with the tell-tale signs of his injury from the way he moved, male arrogance shone from his aura as he faced her, comfortable in his own semi-nakedness. Barely able to speak, she fought off the haze of need that threatened to swallow her whole.

As if he read her thoughts, his lips lifted with a hint of a smug grin. "Where do ye want me?" 

"Umm, yeah, where..." She whirled on the spot, rubbing her hands on her sides. "On the bed?" she croaked, silently cursing the flip-flop in her belly.

Rolling his lips inward, his brow lifted; nevertheless, he grabbed his crutch and followed her instructions. With slight difficulty, he stretched out on the bedcover, propping his head up with a couple of pillows. Arms braced behind his head, he watched her approach with heavily lidded eyes.

Ignoring his visible aroused state, she kicked off her ankle boots and blew out a breath to relax her mind. _Oh, well, here goes nothing!_ Carefully, she slid next to him and sat on her heels. "It hurts here?" she asked, placing her fingers over the hot skin of his right thigh, his flesh jumping under her touch.

"Aye, right there." He flinched a bit, but soon the tenseness eventually eased as Claire began to guide her way downward, kneading muscles where it was tight and knotted. 

"Does it often ache like this?" she asked softly, focusing on the task.

"Weel, it really depends on the weather and my activity or how long I've been in one position. The pain seemed to be more concentrated around my right thigh. Lately, though, I've been pushing myself hard. Maybe that's why it flared up."

"Or maybe, you shouldn't have missed your physiotherapy. It's prescribed for a reason," Claire admonished gently. Rubbing her hands together before working their way around his thigh, she made sure to watch his face for the slightest reaction to her strokes. 

"Today was the first time I missed it. I wanted to make that dessert for ye." He turned his head toward the coffee table where the pie was left untouched.

Following his gaze, she chuckled under her breath. "Don't worry, it'll get eaten," she reassured him, stifling a yawn.

His brows puckered as he looked at her. "Ye looked tired. Ye ought to rest," he observed, concern lacing his voice.

She bit her lip, her hands gaining momentum as she pressed deeper into his flesh. "Hasn't it occurred to you yet that this is relaxing for me? If I went to bed now, I wouldn't be able to sleep anyway." Claire caught a wince in his eyes, and that's when she knew she found the problematic spot. Her fingers dug deeper, taking her time. "I was pleasantly surprised to see you on your feet today. I thought you'd still be using the wheelchair."

"Mmm, ye're changing the subject, Sassenach."

"I guess I am."

Stirring a bit, he shifted his hips and sighed. "After I was released from the hospital, I was in a really dark place. If someone told me a few weeks back that I'd be able to stand upright today, I wouldn't have believed them." He paused for a moment before continuing. "I was such a self-absorbed bastard, I forgot ye were a victim too and pushed ye away."

Claire stopped what she was doing and looked at him. "We were all in a bad place, Jamie. The whole family was. I guess we were all stumbling in the dark, not really knowing how to move on. Or how to deal with the aftermath."

"The physical pain was nothing, Sassenach. It was the agony of the thought of losing ye. That night when ye jumped in front of that gun ... _Christ!_ " His throat worked, as a pained sound came out of his mouth. "I can't even go there..."

"Then don't. You can't beat yourself over and over for what happened. It's done now. Holding on to that dark place will not serve you but poison your soul. Find that light, Jamie; otherwise, darkness will always have that sway on you." Her hands resumed their work on his sore muscles, fingers working their magic.

"I know ..." he said wearily before a groan escaped his lips. "Jesus! That feels so good. Maybe I should dismiss my therapist, and ye can take over. Ye have a good touch on ye."

Pleasure skated over her, both from his reaction and his praise. "I know healing takes time, but I'm happy to see you're in a better place now. There will still be road bumps ahead, but you have to understand, you are not alone."

"Aye. It hit me hard that day ye left for London, and I realised what a damn fool I was to even suggest that we take a break. I thought I was burdening ye with my injury that could potentially mean I would be dependent for the rest of my life. I didn't want that for ye ...I felt like a loser."

She let out a gasp and stared at him, shocked. "How in any possibility imagined could you be a loser?"

He gave an exaggerated shrug. "There was a lot of guilt thing going on. All mental. I brought all these upon my family and ye. And I felt like I let everyone down by bringing danger here. Then my injury happened, and with that in the back of my mind, I started thinking ahead ...to find a new life for myself. Without ye."

"And now?"

"Trying to imagine life without ye was an impossibility. And that's when I realised I couldn't do this without ye. It would destroy me. I shouldn't have pushed ye away, Sassenach. I hope it's not too late." Propping himself up on his elbow, he willed her to look at him. "I haven't lost ye, have I?"

"You could never lose me, Jamie," she pointed out, her face softening with a smile.

He gave her a lopsided grin. "Good. Will ye be staying tonight? Ye've had a bit to drink."

"That's the plan. Da insisted I took a day off tomorrow and there was no point arguing with him. He's still the boss at the end of the day." She stopped her ministrations on Jamie's thigh and turned to face him, crossing her legs. "And what's your plan now?"

"Weel, take one day at a time. Concentrate on the simple things in life again and find some inner peace."

This time, the way he spoke held no sympathy for himself, just refreshing candour, acceptance and basic truth. It broke her heart to pieces because he didn't seem to comprehend how extraordinary he was.

"Right, shall we have that pie?" she suddenly asked after a long comfortable silence.

His laughter rumbled softly, as he pushed himself up into sitting position and leaned back against the stacks of pillows. "Aye, ye've earned it. That was one bloody good massage."

Scrambling out of bed, she giggled. And when she returned with their desserts, she noticed something had changed between them. Something shifted and breathed. It was as if a dark cloud that had hovered for too long lifted. "You know, it's funny how it's easier to remember all the bad stuff instead of the good," she said, handing Jamie a plate of pie and a fork.

"Aye, that's true." He took the dessert and placed it on the table next to him.

"So Jamie, how many times have you done the right thing when other people wouldn't have given a shit?" She slid unto the bed and faced him crossed legged, her face turning serious.

He stiffened as his eyes caught hers with his gaze. Refusing to buckle, Claire stared back at him stubbornly. This was so important that she had to get it out there - for his sake. She sensed the pain within him, and it emanated from every part of his being. Even though he knew he was only human, he took responsibility for his every action seriously and was always quick to blame himself whenever something didn't go right. Just like the way he blamed himself over Annalise. It was that part of him she knew mere words couldn't change, but she badly wanted to soothe those aches away.

"Why?" he asked.

"Why? Because it matters. Every person that you've helped, you've shown kindness and empathy to, lend a shoulder to cry on to ...these people are a little way better off because of you. Don't brush off or ever forget all the good things you've done just because of what Annalise did."

"I should have seen it coming."

His words bled right out of him, and her heart twisted painfully for this beautiful man. Even though tears threatened to spill, she blinked them back and strived for calm. She placed her dessert plate on the bedside table and gently moved closer until she knelt right next to him. She stroked his cheek and smiled. "I know, Jamie but you didn't. Just don't cheapen what you have accomplished and what you've done for other people in the pursuit of perfection that isn't possible."

He jerked back at her words, as realisation filled his eyes. Staring at her with desperation and longing, he took her hand in his and placed it over his bare chest. "Sassenach ...may I kiss ye? I feel like like I'll fucking die if I don't kiss ye right now."

Her mouth went dry, and she could only nod in response. Before she could even think or knew what was happening, Jamie grabbed her by the waist and settled her on his lap, her thighs straddling him. Cupping her cheeks with tenderness, he pulled her head to his until their lips were only a hairsbreadth away. The way he was looking at her, she felt like she'd fallen into a warm, racing current of water.

Then he kissed her.

Heart pounding against her ribs, she shyly parted her lips. Jamie took full advantage, his strong arms encircling her waist and pulling her closer against him. Covering her mouth with his, his tongue dove inside hers to feast and she let out a soft moan as she savoured his taste of sugar, citrus and wine. A strangled groan broke from his chest, and he took the kiss deeper, whooshing the air out of her lungs.

Tilting her head to allow him access, her fingernails bit into his shoulders as she melted against his chest. He let out a growl, holding her still while he explored and relearned the taste and texture of her mouth while revelling in the thrust of her tongue against his. Heat exploded between them, and she could feel he was in a frenzy. _Too soon!_ She was worried about his injury, and there was still so many things to talk about before they could take anything further.

Claire hesitantly pulled away. "Jamie ..." she breathed against his lips, her arms still around his neck. He was burning up all around her, dragging her into a tunnel where she couldn't think.

"Aye?" His hands slipped under her shirt and cupped her breasts as he sucked hungrily on her lower lip. 

"Can we take this a notch slower?" she whispered. Her mind said one thing, but her body was screaming for more.

He drew away to look into her eyes, concern etching his face. "Ah, I'm so sorry, Sassenach ...it's been a while, and I got carried away. Is everything alright?" he asked as he gently stroke her hair.

"Of course," she smiled, slowly sliding away from him. "It's just that ...it's a bit too soon. And your injury..." 

Before she could get out of bed, he grabbed her wrist, his eyes searching her face. "Will you lie down with me? Tonight?"

His worried look and husky plea plucked a string inside of her, and she couldn't allow him to think she didn't want him. Giving him a reassuring smile, she leaned toward him once more and gave him a gentle, lingering kiss. "Let me get changed first."

This time his smile reached his eyes, and he let her go.

When Claire returned after changing into a nightshirt and brushing her teeth, there was only the lamplight next to the bed lit. Jamie was already under the covers, his arms propped behind his head. As she approached the bed, his furrowed brow began to ease in degrees, and he gave her a heart-stopping smile. "You look bloody gorgeous," he said hoarsely, as he lifted the quilt for her to get in.

Giddy pleasure washed over her as she regarded him with a smile. He looked like some bronzed ancient Nordic warrior that time travelled from the past, as he laid sprawled on the bed. "You don't look too bad yourself," she teased, sliding in next to him. 

Jamie reached out and turned off the light and pulled her against him, his warmth enveloping her. "I know we can't fix things overnight, Sassenach but I'm willing to do everything in my power to make it right again ...for ye, for us," he whispered, his warm breath fanning her face. A beat of silence passed before he spoke again. "Tomorrow we'll talk, but for now, ye need yer sleep."

As her body began to relax and alertness lost its battle to sleep, Jamie drew her up against his chest, muscular arms wrapping around her waist and one hand cradling her head. She wanted to say something more, but drowsiness coupled with Jamie's warmth dragged her down.

This was what she had been missing all these weeks. And as she nuzzled closer, a sense of coming home washed over her, feeling at peace at last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I hope you're all doing well and keeping safe and healthy. I know it's pretty distressing times right now, so here's me sending you all some sparkly positive vibes to light up your days. Love and prayers to all.
> 
> PS I hope you've enjoyed this chapter as much as I've enjoyed writing this. And thank you once again for all your feedback from the previous update. Very much appreciated. 😘❤️


	24. Untreasured Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously in Reclaim Love...
> 
> Giddy pleasure washed over her as she regarded him with a smile. He looked like some bronzed ancient Nordic warrior that time travelled from the past, as he laid sprawled on the bed. "You don't look too bad yourself," she teased, sliding in next to him. 
> 
> Jamie reached out and turned off the light and pulled her against him, his warmth enveloping her. "I know we can't fix things overnight, Sassenach but I'm willing to do everything in my power to make it right again ...for ye, for us," he whispered, his warm breath fanning her face. A beat of silence passed before he spoke again. "Tomorrow we'll talk, but for now, ye need yer sleep."
> 
> As her body began to relax and alertness lost its battle to sleep, Jamie drew her up against his chest, muscular arms wrapping around her waist and one hand cradling her head. She wanted to say something more, but drowsiness coupled with Jamie's warmth dragged her down.
> 
> This was what she had been missing all these weeks. And as she nuzzled closer, a sense of coming home washed over her, feeling at peace at last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wishing you all happy reading!😘❤️

_ He heard a gunshot. Claire's eyes widened, and her body stiffened before she fell into his arms. _

Jamie's eyes flew open, heart pounding like a jackhammer, and squinted into the shadows. Soft skin, warmth and feminine smell surrounded him as he looked down at the slender arm across his waist and dark curls that scattered across his chest. Claire muttered something in her sleep and shifted, not sensing anything wrong. Carefully, with his free arm, he reached for his phone lying on the bedside table to look at the time and saw it was only five a.m.

Slowly, his body relaxed and gathered Claire's sleeping form closer, kissing the top of her head to reassure himself that she was truly there. It was another bad dream of the shooting, one that haunted him on an almost nightly basis. 

Inhaling deeply, he tried to even out his breaths as he stared at the ceiling. Suddenly, an odd sensation stirred in his guts as if sensing a storm coming. He wondered if he was becoming jumpy and sensitive because of the shooting incident, but primitive instinct told him, it didn't feel like danger. It was more like a premonition of something about to be unravelled.  _ But what? _

As a different type of stirring started to occur in his groin and unable to go back to sleep, he gingerly extricated himself from Claire, careful not to wake her up. He didn't bother putting on clothes, afraid with his awkwardness on his feet, he would make too much noise. Grabbing his crutch, he hobbled his way to the kitchen in his boxer briefs. 

Moonlight trickled through the window, and the cold air sent goosebumps sweeping all over his skin. Although it was almost spring, it still felt very much like winter. Switching on the light, he made himself a mug of coffee and settled in an oversize leather chair in the family room, where it was a tad bit warmer. He wrapped himself with a seat's blanket and leaning back, he watched the world slowly wake up through the window and listened to the rousing of his peaceful surrounding. 

His mind drifted to Claire and their conversation last night, and then he smiled, a feeling of gratitude and hope of second chances hitting him in waves. She was right about the many road bumps ahead but having her close by, energised him and gave him purpose. The future didn't seem as bleak. He understood then that certain things can't be protected from storms and that things need to be shattered once in a while to make way for growth. Above all else and most importantly, she came back to him, and there was no way in hell he was going to mess up this time.

Jamie was so deep in his thoughts, he didn't realise his father had walked in. "Ye alright, son?" Brian was stood in the doorway with a mug of coffee, looking at him with a strange look.

"Uh, good morning. A-aye I'm fine. I didn't hear ye come in last night." He straightened up on his seat and smiled.

Hugging his mug with both hands, Brian took the seat opposite his son. "We came home early enough, and yer ma and I were surprised to see all the lights were out. If I hadn't seen Claire's car, I would have thought she didn't come to last night's dinner at all. So how did it go?"

Jamie let out a small laugh. "Aye, dinner was great. I suppose ye were in this with Jenny, aye? Not that I don't appreciate the gesture, but after Jenny announced she was leaving us, I was afraid Claire would follow suit and leave me on my own."

Brian shook his head. "No. Yer ma and I didn't have anything to do with it. Dinner with friends yesterday was planned a long time ago. It was all Jenny's idea. But we knew what she was up to and we didn't object. Ye and Claire have been miserable for far too long, and talk between the two of ye was long overdue. So, how did it go?"

"Aye, we talked, but I noticed she was exhausted ... and I was too. We went to bed early."

"I was going to check up on her upstairs, but I was afraid I'd wake her up, so I thought better of it. She hasn't been sleeping weel, ye ken."

Jamie's face turned red. "Da, she slept in my bed," he confessed. Although his parents had given their blessing to their relationship, he and Claire weren't comfortable when it came to sleeping arrangements when together in Lallybroch. After all, they grew up together as siblings and sleeping together under the same roof as his parents felt awkward. Hence, they had sought privacy in his unfinished house and eventually in Claire's and Geillis' residence.

Brian cleared his throat as he noticed his son's embarrassment and waved his hand in dismissal, a silent understanding passing between them. "I'm just glad ye've sorted things out. Whatever happened between the two of ye, I was sure ye'd find yer way back to each other. Yer ma says, yer both soulmates, whatever that means," he laughed. There was a thoughtful silence before he continued and changed the subject. "Ye ken Isobel ... Geneva Dunsany's sister?" he asked.

Jamie nodded his head, his brows furrowing. "Aye, I ken the lass. Why?"

"She came to talk to me about the horse she rescued from the slaughterhouse. The horse has been abused and is in distress. Isobel kens ye're good with horses, and she asked me if ye could help. I told her ye might not be up for it since ye're still recovering," his father explained.

Jamie stared out the window and thought of a time when they had horses. They've always had one or a couple while growing up, but ever since the younger Frasers pursued their studies outside the Highlands, his father had stopped adopting them. The stables were now used for storage, which held many memories of their childhood days, of riding in the open fields and responsibilities of taking care of animals.

"I don't know da, it's been a while since we've had horses..."

"Aye, of course, dinna fash. I thought it would be therapeutic for ye, and maybe, it would encourage ye to get out of the house more."

It had been said many times that Jamie had a gift and was known as a horse whisperer. But that was then. In his current state, he needed to focus on getting better and on Claire. Their relationship was very fragile, and he needed her back in his life for them to move on. On top of it all, his back and his thighs still throbbed, and the nightmares plagued him. He couldn't possibly take responsibility for a broken horse when he had his own demons to fight and his own life to get back on track. He knew he had to refuse even if it meant missing out on something he was passionate about.

"No. I'm so sorry, da. I wish I could," he shrugged apologetically.

"I thought, ye'd say that. Weel, in case ye changed yer mind, the horse will be temporarily staying in our stable until Isobel can convince her da to keep it. It's a better option than in the slaughterhouse." Brian got up from his seat to go and stopped, remembering something important he ought to say. "And also, be mindful of Geneva, son. That lass is bad news. She seems to have something against Claire. I've refused Geneva's job application on the spot after overhearing the way she spoke to her. Isobel seems to be a nice enough lassie, but her sister sounds like trouble."

Jamie nodded, a strange impression of deja vu billowing around him as his father's warning flicked at him like tiny stings. "Aye, I'll bear that in mind," he replied, getting up, not wanting to discuss it further until he talked to Claire. "Thanks for letting me know, da."

"Nothing to thank me for, son. Just glad things seem to be looking up. And look at ye ... ye're on your feet already. Who would have thought, eh?" Twisting his wrist, Brian looked at the time. "Got to go. I have to bring coffee to yer ma." He squeezed Jamie's shoulder before walking away, leaving his son with disturbing thoughts of Geneva.

...........

Claire stepped out of the shower, still feeling exhausted. Last night was the first time in ages she slept a straight solid nine hours without any nightmares, but yet her body craved for more rest. Putting it down to mental fatigue from having to sort out a lot of paper works and administrative chores in the hotel, she resisted the urge to go back to bed and make most of her day off instead.

When she woke earlier, Jamie was gone. Disappointment warring with concern, she had hoped to wake up with him by her side.  _ Christ, it was only seven a.m.! _ Maybe the aches and pains from his injury had kept him awake, she thought.

Dressed in yoga pants and over-sized checkered flannel shirt, she dried her hair and twisted it into a messy bun, leaving the loose curls to frame her face. Slipping her feet into thick woollen socks, she made her way back to the makeshift bedroom. Her plan was to make breakfast for the family and maybe, have some more enlightening chat with Jamie.

Feeling slightly more invigorated after having seen the beautiful weather from the window, she started to make the bed.

"Good morning, Sassenach. What are ye doing?"

Claire spun around to find Jamie leaning against the doorjamb, amusement putting a slight quirk in his mouth. Pushing away from the door, he walked over to her with a slight limp, using the crutch for support. Despite the cold, he was only wearing his boxer briefs, putting his beautiful sculpted body on display for her to gawk at. His tousled hair and bearded jaw gave him a wild look, making her wish she hadn't said anything about taking things slow.

Clamping on her desire to throw herself at him, she gave him an exaggerated, cheery smile. "I was going to make breakfast. Did you sleep well?"

"Aye, I did. But a bad dream woke me up." His eyes automatically wandered over her body, staring at her like a starved man deprived. "I was expecting ye to be still in bed. Why are ye up so early? It's yer day off."

"The weather is beautiful. It would be a shame to miss a big chunk of it by lounging about." Tempting as Jamie looked in his dishevelled state, she averted her eyes and made a move to go to the other side of the bed to fluff the pillows.

His arm shot out to block her. "Come back to bed, Sassenach and lie down with me for a little while. Today is not a day for rushing," he urged softly, his gaze fastened on her mouth.

"Hmmm, I don't think that's a good idea.," she said with one eyebrow arched as her eyes strayed to his burgeoning erection.

Unapologetic, he grinned boyishly, his sky blue eyes lighting up. "Why?"

The question hung between them, and Claire could only stare, half expecting him to close the distance and kiss her. But Jamie didn't budge as he rocked back on his heels, waiting for an answer like they had all the time in the world.

"I feel like you're about to pounce on me, and we agreed to take it slow," she admitted finally, frustration nipping at her nerves.

With a cocky smile still plastered to his lips, he took a step forward and lowered his head, warm breath brushing against her mouth. "I'm not going to lie, Sassenach. There are a lot of things I would like to do with ye right now, but I respect yer wishes. We'll take things slow unless ye want otherwise. So stop being stubborn and get back in bed. I just want to hold ye and kiss ye. Is that alright?"

His words jolted through her, and she sucked in air. Jamie's relaxed stance hid a fine-tuned tension that stiffened his muscles and carved out the lines on his face, and the glint in his eyes belied his real thoughts. Not one to back down on his teasing game, she fought her rising need and took it as an opportunity to talk.

Turning away from him, she pulled back the bedcover, slipped onto the bed and smiled at him. "Very well. Breakfast can wait. I'm not that hungry anyway," she said, patting the bed beside her.

"That's a good lass," he beamed, ignoring the warning look she launched.

As she settled against the stacks of pillows, she watched him move with ease as he slid in next to her, signs of his injury almost unnoticeable. And when he opened an arm as an invitation to move closer, she let go of her unease and relaxed, resting her head on his chest in contentment. It was no use fighting it. Their attraction to one another was palpable.

Tucked in his embrace, he gently pulled the pins out of her bun, tugging his fingers at the damp waves that spilt over his chest. And when he spoke, the playfulness in his tone was gone. "Da told me about what happened with Geneva. I thought she might have outgrown her bullying ways. Obviously, she hasn't. There must be more to the story. Want to talk about it now? I ken ye don't like talking about what happened in school, especially when someone was mean to ye, but maybe now's the time."

Jamie's question woke sleeping demons inside. All the reasons she never wanted to return back to Scotland if it wasn't for the Fraser family, whispered in her ears. Claire squeezed her eyes shut, shivering slightly.

"What's wrong, Sassenach? Are ye alright?" he asked in a soft voice.

The past and the present flashed together, merging a faded memory that demanded her attention. She hadn't thought about it in for so long, after burying the truth under so much rubble, deeming it dead forever. 

Unfortunately, it wasn't. Claire's meeting with Geneva in the pub months ago had stirred the monster up and ever since then, they had never been far from the surface. Safe in Jamie's arms, she realised she wanted to tell him what happened and unload the massive weight she carried in her heart for years.

"You've always known I never really fitted in school."

Jamie's arms tightened around her, settling into a silence that told her he'd spend the whole day listening. With a gentle squeeze to her arm, he urged her to continue.

Suddenly, the past reared up and yanked her back in time. Her vision blurred while she fought the images, reminding herself nearly a decade had passed and she wasn't that girl any longer.

"As you know, I've always looked different from the rest of the kids back then. They thought I looked like a freak with my big hair, braces and thick eyeglasses. The teasing was usually harmless, and it gave me the backbone to stand up for myself. The fact that I did so well in school made only matters worse. I thought it would improve my chances of being liked. Instead, I was labelled a nerd." 

She let out a half-laugh, hopelessly trying to lighten the mood. And as she tried to curl her hand into a fist, Jamie entwined his fingers with hers, holding it tight and refusing to let go.

"Then, of course, there were groups in school that everyone begged to be part of because the members of these crowds were popular, better looking, great in sports, had more money... you name it, they had it. And you were one of the popular ones, and you didn't even need to prove anything. Although I wanted to be accepted, I didn't mind not being part of these groups. I think everything would have been fine if nobody knew I was your foster sister, but I caught the attention of a group of popular girls because of my connection to you. One day, Geneva and her friends gathered around me after school and invited me to join their little club. Geneva was their leader. For some reason, deep down, I suspected she hated me, but at the same time, she wanted something from me. I supposed she wanted to get closer to you, but I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. Although I was wary, awkward and shy at first, I agreed to join them."

Her heart beat off-key, and she dragged in a breath, trying her best to push through. The memories edged her nerves, but she was determined to tell her story.

"Over the next few weeks, I sat with them during lunchtime and was invited to a lot of their parties and after school activities. Eventually, I started to enjoy myself, and the teasing about my looks stopped. I started to believe everything would finally be alright. During those times, Geneva asked a lot of questions about you, but I tried to avoid answering them because I felt like I was betraying you. And you were my closest friend then. When she finally realised I was of no use to her, she pulled this awful prank in front of everyone."

She blinked back the tears, desperate to get through her story. "At the end of one Friday lunch period, we were all sat together, and I was telling them a story about uncle Lamb. Suddenly, in the middle of it all, I felt something was off. I saw Geneva gave some sort of signal with her eyes. Before I knew what was happening, Laoghaire MacKenzie dumped a container of tomato juice over my head. Then they started chanting I smelled like a skunk and needed a bath of tomato juice. Anyway, I don't know how the story reached the headmistress, but Geneva and Laoghaire got detention which made it only worse. When ma heard all about it, she confronted me and threatened to talk to the teachers. Instead of confiding to her, I laughed it off, pretending it was just a silly prank that had gone wrong. I didn't want her worrying because she was busy enough with the hotel and us, children, so I played it down."

"Then the torture began, and every day they did something to make my life miserable and got a lot of people involved until I felt like every morning, I was entering a battlefield. They were careful not to leave any shreds of evidence in case you and Willie found out. I began to have anxiety attacks, and I started to isolate myself to hide it. When you weren't spending time with me, I spent most of my time in the woods or in the stable reading books to keep my distance. You, Willie and Jenny, have been so good to me and I didn't want to burden you with my problems, so I remained quiet about it."

She paused for a while to gather strength before continuing. "I knew I had two years left before college - two years of mocking, isolation and pain. I didn't think I could survive it so, one day I made a decision. I wanted to end it. I wrote a goodbye letter to all of you and stole some old medication pills ma was hiding in the cabinets. I didn't know what they were, but I took two bottles with me and hid them under my bed."

Jamie's body stiffened beside her, and she felt his heart accelerate beneath her hand, but he remained silent.

"On the day I was planning to end it all, Murtagh picked us up from school because ma and da were running late from whatever they were doing. I was the last one to get out of the car. As I was getting out, I dropped a book, and my goodbye letter slipped out. To cut a long story short, he found my letter and an hour after he dropped us off, he was back to confront me. He found me in the stables with the bottles of pills in my hand, writing a new goodbye message. He came in with two bottles of beer, one for him and one for me, and the letter he found in his car. We had a long talk while we drank beer, and he confided to me that he used to be in a similar position. His own story was sad, to say the least."

The image of Murtagh's face was ingrained in her brain. The desperate glint sparking from his brown eyes, pleading her to reconsider. The almost panicked air as he sat next to her, trying to get her to focus on his words. Gone was the face of a cantankerous man, but in its place, a man with his own demons who understood her pain.

Claire cleared her throat. "Anyway, Murtagh convinced me that Geneva and Laoghaire weren't worth it, and if I went ahead with what I planned to do, you would all be devasted, and that made me think long and hard. He promised me he was going to do something about Geneva if I promised him not to take the pills. So I agreed after a lot of tears, but I also made him promise not to tell any of you. Two days later, I found out Geneva, Laoghaire, and her cronies were transferred to another school. I don't know what Murtagh did, but it made life a lot bearable. The teasing and taunting didn't stop, though, but it wasn't as torturous as when Geneva and her mates were there. After that, once in a while, I would cross paths with Geneva and Laoghaire in town, and they would spew hate at me and promised me one day, they will get their revenge back. I still wonder what Murtagh did all those years ago, but it was such a painful time that I decided to leave the past behind."

"Sassenach." His voice came out like rough sand as he lifted her body and forced her to look at him in the eye. "Christ, I had no idea. I swore to protect ye."

She reached out to touch his face, his stubbles tickling the palm of her hand. "It's not your fault, Jamie. I was selfish and ungrateful to even consider taking my own life after what all of you have done for me. And I was young and so very lost. But I have forgiven myself because it's the only way forward. After what happened, Murtagh continued to check up on me, and he kept up this gruff facade whenever everyone was around so no one would suspect of anything. Sometimes I forget his grumpiness is just a front, and he really scares the hell out of me." 

A smile curved her lips, letting him know the past was the past. And that the present was all that matters. "Not much changed about Geneva's and Laoghaire's behaviour to this day, but I changed my reaction. I realised I was trapped in a tiny droplet of time, but there is a massive ocean of years out there waiting for me. Although the world is painful at times, I shifted my focus on what matters most. My family here in Lallybroch. All of you made a difference, and I am forever grateful to my uncle Lamb for bringing me here and to Murtagh for saving my life. Maybe I lost a few things along the way, but overall, I love every moment of my life. I owe that to all of you."

She didn't realise she was crying until he wiped her tears away with his thumb as he whispered sweet Gaelic endearments under his breath. His eyes glistened, and so much warmth, understanding and tenderness radiated from them. There was no pity nor judgement. Only his heart full of love just for her.

" _ Mo ghràdh,"  _ Jamie whispered. "Thank ye for being brave enough to bring up the past. And thank ye for being brave enough to live."

His lips gently brushed hers, soft and as fleeting as butterfly wings. And because there were no words worthy of a response, Claire reached for him, and he kissed her deeper, shattering the last barrier in her heart and rebuilding it whole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're all well during this global crisis and keeping up the positive attitude. I know it's not an easy time for all of us, especially those in the front line or families of front line workers. I do hope and pray it would be over soon. I guess the best thing we can do at the moment while in quarantine is support each other and keep sending positive thoughts and prayers out there. My prayers and thoughts are with you all. 😘❤️
> 
> PS Thank you all for the feedback, comments and love from the previous update. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I have to be honest, though, this was a difficult chapter for me to write. I thought being in quarantine would enable me to write easier. Boy was I wrong! My house is a lot louder with everyone in the house making it difficult to concentrate. Anyway, the main thing is, it's done, and I have started writing the next instalment already. Until next time, be well, my friends. 😘❤️


	25. The Horse Whisperer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously in Untreasured Past...
> 
> "...although the world is painful at times, I shifted my focus on what matters most. My family here in Lallybroch. All of you made a difference, and I am forever grateful to my uncle Lamb for bringing me here and to Murtagh for saving my life. Maybe I lost a few things along the way, but overall, I love every moment of my life. I owe that to all of you."
> 
> She didn't realise she was crying until he wiped her tears away with his thumb as he whispered sweet Gaelic endearments under his breath. His eyes glistened, and so much warmth, understanding and tenderness radiated from them. There was no pity nor judgement. Only his heart full of love just for her.
> 
> " Mo ghràdh," Jamie whispered. "Thank ye for being brave enough to bring up the past. And thank ye for being brave enough to live."
> 
> His lips gently brushed hers, soft and as fleeting as butterfly wings. And because there were no words worthy of a response, Claire reached for him, and he kissed her deeper, shattering the last barrier in her heart and rebuilding it whole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wishing you all happy reading!😘❤️

Agitated, Jamie tore himself away from the window. 

Highly unprecedented for the Highlands, it was another beautiful day with clear blue skies as it had been for the past week and a half. Usually, it would rain for days on end at this time of year, so why was he feeling restless when he could be outdoors?

Although spring sprung early this year, his enthusiasm hit an all-time low. Verbally expressing his need to be useful, he was adamantly advised by doctors not to return to work just yet, as standing for long hours would be detrimental to his rehabilitation. His recovery was going well, and everyone seemed astounded with his progress, but his therapy and core training wasn't cutting it anymore. He needed stimulation.

It would be another few hours before Claire finished work and came over to stay for her day-off. Despite her hectic schedule, somehow she managed to pop by for a visit whenever she could, but she was taking their _taking-it-slow_ to another new level. And it frustrated the hell out of him even though it had only been over a week since they got back on track together. Not wanting to rock the boat, he resolved not to push, especially after hearing her story of the bullying that went on in high school. Maybe with family dinner and wine tonight, she would be more receptive.

With his mind made up, he decided to head to the stable, leaving his walking stick behind. His recuperation had been technically perfect, with the best medical care, a peaceful environment and all the time he needed to heal at his disposal. But he was bored sitting about waiting for his next visitor or next bout of therapy. And he felt like he was slowly stagnating while everyone else carried on with their lives. Perhaps, working with Isobel Dunsany's fostered horse would be the ideal distraction he needed.

Stepping outside of the manor house, he decided to take the rear footpath that led to the stable. It was a glorious day, and he could feel the sun beating down on his back. Sensing his mood improving, he hastened his pace as much as the limp on his leg would allow him, careful not to walk over uneven surfaces.

Out in the open, the sunshine embraced him with soothing warmth as the scent of fresh grass filled his nostrils. The fields were adorned with an array of assorted wildflowers which spilt over the dirt pathway he followed. Slowly he began to relax as the high-pitched chatter of the birds and scrambling critters kept him company as he walked. He was hoping the horse would not be in too much of a bad state as most were found in so-called rescue farms. His father often said such places took far too many strays and eventually, they were unable to cope with its' proper care, and most end up in slaughterhouses.

When Jamie reached the stable, he tapped the door and gave a low whistle, a habit whenever he greeted a horse in its space. He walked toward the rear and found a bag of carrots and grabbed a few. Stopping in front of the last stall, his gaze immediately fell on a pair of wary eyes staring back at him.

"Ach, hello _a chuilein_ ," he cooed.

The horse was so black that he almost blended into the shadows. With its ears pinned back, the horse backed up and snorted in a warning. His whole body quivered with pent-up nervous energy, and an aura of fear and adrenaline pumped out in waves. _Christ, it's a thoroughbred, and he's beautiful!_ Jamie stood still and regulated his breathing, channelling a calmness for both of them.

"Aren't ye a handsome one, aye?" he said in a deep soothing voice. "Och, it's understandable to be skittish. I'd be too after an escape from slaughter."

The horse pawed at the ground, rearing back as if trying to gain his bearings. Stepping sideways, Jamie took in his lean body that hinted good breeding but noticed that he was undernourished and terrified. He whispered some more comforting words in Gaelic, patiently allowing the animal to familiarise itself with his scent. Suddenly the horse tossed his head and met his gaze head-on, the dark knowing eyes burned with a fierceness that pegged him as a fighter and a rebel. He was too spirited to be broken, Jamie thought, but he could see there were abuse and broken trust.

"So what do you think?"

Jamie spun towards the voice, his eyes narrowing when he saw Geneva approaching him. She was wearing jeans that were too tight and a thin shirt, revealing a crimson bra underneath. "What are ye doing here?" he seethed, irritation crawling his back as he thought of his father's warning and Claire's story.

"I stopped by to check on the horse. My sister is at work, and I'm unemployed, and I have plenty of time on my hands," she replied in a deliberate, sultry voice. "...like you." She walked over to where he was standing and stopped at arm's length, her gaze openly sweeping over his figure.

More irritated than enticed with her suggestiveness, he crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm sorry, Geneva, you have to go. I cannot allow ye to come here. This is private property, and only Isobel has permission to use this stable. If yer sister is worried about the horse, I will see to it that it's weel taken care of. Now please leave."

Geneva clucked and ignored his demand. "He is a beauty, isn't he?" she murmured, brushing past against Jamie to peer into the stall. "I don't think Isobel would be allowed to keep him, though. God bless her, she loves animals, but she doesn't have the time."

Momentarily distracted, Jamie turned his attention back to the horse, studying the matted mane and too skinny body, and eyes that had seen too much pain. "Isobel has nothing to worry about. The horse will always have a home here. And if she can't keep him, weel, he can stay here," he absentmindedly reassured her as he offered the carrot through the rails.

The horse stared back at him, not blinking, his body shaking with an intensity that Jamie hadn't seen before. He made no move to take the carrot even if Jamie pushed it farther out. It was rare when a horse didn't immediately take to him, and those shadows in his dark eyes made Jamie even more curious. Smiling to himself, he fell into a stream of Gaelic to woo him, and the horse quivered in response before taking the treat from his hand.

Then an idea sprung in his head and thought of the possibility of keeping the horse. _Donas, that's a perfect name! He looks like the devil himself!_ Suddenly, something inside him reared up, an instinct from within his gut coming to the surface. Jamie knew only too well there were no guarantees, but this horse deserved a chance.

"Well, I best get going then since you don't want me here." His reverie quickly passed as a hand touched his arm, nearly making him jump. 

He had been so engrossed with his thoughts, he had almost forgotten about Geneva. "Aye, best ye leave. It's for the best," he said shortly, running a hand through his hair, impatient to be alone with the horse.

Geneva simply nodded and began to walk briskly away, but then half-way she stopped and turned around. "Oh Jamie, just out of curiosity, there's a rumour going around that your brother is seeing someone. I asked him about it when we met in the shop, but he was tight-lipped about the subject."

The question piqued Jamie's interest as he had not heard of the rumour, nor had he seen Willie for ages. Gossips are always rife in small villages, and he tended not to pay attention. Usually able to mask his expression, this time, his surprise must have been written all over his face as it encouraged Geneva to continue.

"I also heard a rumour that you and Claire broke up and that Willie had been taking her out on dinner dates while you were all alone by yourself cooped in a big house," she revealed, her eyes searching for clues in his face. The moment she saw him winced, she feigned regret, a hand dramatically flying to cover her mouth. "Oh, dear, I'm so sorry. I thought you knew." 

Jamie tensed as a rush of different emotions washed over him. Trying his hardest not to look affected, he reminded himself he was talking to a mendacious person. "I told ye to leave, Geneva. Now!" he warned in a low voice, taking a step forward.

Her provocative gaze swept over him. "Well, listen, Jamie ... if you need someone to talk to, you know where to reach me." Her smile was sharp and devious as she tipped her head and strode away without a backward glance.

Stunned, he watched her go, leaving him with all sorts of scenarios running through his mind. _No, that can't be true. Willie would never do such a thing behind my back. Nor Claire. Not my Claire._ In as much as he didn't want to believe Geneva, he couldn't help his thoughts from running away from him. He thought back of the many weeks when he tried to call her. Was she using fatigue as an excuse not to see him? _Christ!_ And when was the last time Willie came to Lallybroch? Jamie knew his brother had been sleeping at the girls' house. _But was there more going on?_

Frustrated, Jamie let out a silent curse, making the horse squeal at the tense atmosphere Geneva left behind. Centring himself for the sake of the horse, he sought calm and logic, but a part of him couldn't wait till evening to talk to Claire. He needed to see her now. For his peace of mind. 

..........

With shaking hands, Claire slid the twenty-pound note over the counter and hurriedly retrieved the boxed kit that was handed to her and stuffed it in her satchel. Even though she knew there was nobody behind, she craned her neck to check, just in case. _Oh God, how is this possible? Maybe, I'm mistaken._ Taking her change and receipt, she nodded a thank you to the girl and hurried out of the pharmacy.

She still had time to go home and change before dinner was served in Lallybroch. Although she was excited to have the whole family, including Geillis, dining together on the same table, she couldn't help feel the growing apprehension inside of her. _What if? Am I ready for this?_

It started off as a banter earlier in the day. Claire, Geillis and Louise were having their morning break in the staff canteen and catching up on each other's love life. Claire and Louise had teasingly prodded Geillis to reveal the details of her dates with Willie. Still dubious of Willie's true feelings, Geillis simply gave them a mysterious smile dismissing their protests with a simple explanation of, _it's early days._ But Claire knew better. How many nights had she lain awake in her room, listening to Willie and Geillis romp the night away? She shook visibly as she tried to erase the image of them in her head.

Like a true friend, Claire gave Geillis reprieve and shifted the focus on herself, which in retrospect had been a bad mistake. _Or maybe not?_ Claire had begun to discuss the probability of her having stomach flu or ulcer, after having an aversion to coffee and recently, coriander. Not one to think before speaking, Geillis just came out with it. "Sounds like ye're pregnant, Claire." 

Silence on their table had ensued after Geillis' straightforward, no-nonsense explanation. It was awhile before Claire found her voice. "No. It's impossible. It can't be." But her friends' knowing look and smile told her otherwise.

She had forgotten the rest of their discussion after that, as her mind locked on the possibility that she could be pregnant. Without telling her friends, she left work early to get herself a pregnancy test kit. 

_Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ!_ _How is that even possible?_

On auto mode, she stopped by several shops to buy some flowers, pastries and wine to bring to Lallybroch before heading home. She wasn't particularly good in math as she tried basic arithmetic in her head while she went about doing her errands. _Just breath, Beauchamp, it's probably just stomach ulcer caused by stress._

_Hah! Who are you kidding? You missed your period! You're pregnant!_

Claire scoured her memories as she drove back home, wondering when she and Jamie were last intimate. They hadn't slept with each other ever since the shooting, and before that, they had been cautious. _But were they?_ _Think Beauchamp, think!_

And then it dawned on her. It happened on the night of the Grand Opening. The night Willie was taken hostage by Annalise. But before that fateful night unfolded, she had been on duty overseeing the ball. Sometime in the evening, Jamie got hot and heavy on her while they were on the dancefloor and they later disappeared in her office. Jamie didn't have a condom, but she had reassured him she had started taking the pill. Maybe the pill wasn't effective yet when they had sex. _Oh, God!_

Feeling suddenly nauseous, she eased her car into the driveway and let herself into the house. She was greeted by Willie fresh from the shower, clad only with a towel around his waist. The moment he saw her, worry swept across his face.

"Claire! Are ye alright? God, ye look pale like ye've seen a ghost or something." He walked over to her and kissed the top of her head before stepping back to examine her face with intense scrutiny.

She tried to look cheerful, but her mind was focused elsewhere. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just hungry and tired. Dinner tonight should do the trick."

Willie didn't look convinced, but he let her go. "Right, Geillis is in the bedroom, if ye need her. And later, when ye're ready to go, we can all go in the same car. Ye will be staying overnight in Lallybroch, aye?"

Claire nodded with a smile and walked passed him, too preoccupied to offer further explanation and too anxious to get the test over and done with before she faced her family that night. 

Alone in her private quarters, she hurriedly stripped off her clothes and wrapped herself in a terry robe. Taking the test kit with her, she headed for the bathroom where the mist and damp air from its recent use enveloped her, lending an atmosphere of perturbation. As she unwrapped the package, she took big calming deep breaths before following the instructions written on the box. Sat on the toilet seat with her head bowed in silent prayer, she waited for what seemed like an eternity, and when she finally saw the result, she let out a gasp. _I'm pregnant! Oh no! I can't be._ Although deep down, she already suspected the outcome, it still had taken her by surprise with a force that took her breath away.

Her head started to spin as a roller coaster of emotion came to life, bringing her to dizzying heights and then to stomach-churning low. She was elated, unsure, thrilled and frightened all at the same time. Her heart started to beat erratically, and suddenly the four walls in the bathroom rose up to close in on her, and no matter how she tried to calm her breathing, she felt like she was losing grip of reality. And then everything went black.

..........

She felt weightless, cocooned in warmth and strong arms. From a distance, she heard her name called. Then blood started to rush back to her head like a raging river, swift and turbulent. Her eyes flew open and were met by an anxious pair of blue.

"There ye are," Willie said softly, holding her firm as he examined her face. "I heard a noise, and when ye didn't answer, I had to force the door open. Are ye hurt? How are ye feeling?" He carried her into the living room like she weighed nothing.

Confused, Claire's mouth opened and closed in an attempt to answer, but her speech temporarily lost its function. When she tried to speak again, the cold air hit her, making her shiver violently. Willie tightened his grip in response.

"What the fuck are ye doing with her?" A deep booming voice growled.

Suddenly lucid, Claire's head snapped towards the doorway and saw Jamie's frame taut and tensed and his face red as an angry blister. He looked like a crazed animal, with his mussed flaming curls and glacial blue eyes. "Jamie!" she whispered, under her breath. _What is he doing here?_

Calmly and unperturbed, Willie kept his hold on her. "She fainted. I found her on the bathroom floor. What are ye doing here?"

Geillis walked in next, agitation marring her face. "What's up with all the commotion? I'm trying to speak to my ma on the phone ...Oh...!" Her voice trailed as her eyes scanned the room, absorbing the strained atmosphere. Ignoring the anger emanating from Jamie, she turned her attention to Willie and Claire, her expression switching from irritation to concern. She immediately walked over to them. "Hey, what happened? Claire, chick, are ye alright? I was worried about ye earlier, but ye left work before I had a chance to speak to ye." Her friend laid a cool hand on her forehead and stroke her head.

Claire tried to find the words, but she was too muddled to comprehend the scene unfolding before her. "I-I'm feeling loads better now ...I think. Jamie?" She stretched her neck to catch a glimpse of Jamie, who was now purposely striding towards them, his limp giving him a dangerous edge. He looked like a man with a mission with eyes like daggers on his brother. "J-Jamie, why are you looking like you're about to murder someone?"

Ignoring her question, Jamie roughly scooped her up from Willie's arm and glared at him. "Ye're half-naked holding my lass. What the bloody hell do you think ye're doing walking around like that as if ye live on yer own? Have ye no shame?" Jamie shouted.

"Jamie!" Geillis and Claire simultaneously blurted out in surprise. 

Then it dawned on Claire that Willie only had a towel wrapped around his hips and her with only a bathrobe on. That must have been a sight looking at it from Jamie's perspective. _But still, why is he reacting like this?_ She could feel his body coiled in tension against hers, breaths shuddering in and out.

"For fuck sake, Jamie! What's this all about? I just came out of the shower, and Claire went in. I was in the kitchen when I heard her fall..." He stopped for a minute until realisation washed over Willie. "Christ, ye don't think Claire and I..."

Finally, understanding what was going on, Geillis stepped in to ease the pressure off from Willie, placing a hand on Jamie's shoulder. "Jamie, yer brother and I are together, and we have been for a while, so cool yer jets, aye?" She gave him a _back-off_ look, not intimated by the whole situation. An awkward silence followed as the brothers continued to glower at one another and Jamie didn't look he was about to apologise. Then in true Geillis style, she began to prattle like a mother hen, knowing Jamie won't back down, at least not until he's calmed down. "Right, come on, we're all going to be late for dinner. Chop, chop, everybody back to yer rooms."

Claire nearly laughed out loud if it weren't for Jamie's tight grip on her. Without another word, Jamie turned around and marched toward her bedroom, holding her firmly against his heaving chest. 

She opened her mouth to explain, but Jamie grumpily cut her off. "Alright, that's it." No sooner they had crossed the threshold than he tossed her onto the bed, where she bounced once in the air. Keeping his heated eyes on her, he slammed the door shut and hurriedly kicked off his shoes before crawling towards her. His face was twisted in a mixture of frustration and pain. "I've been extremely patient with ye, Sassenach. I ken I made a mistake asking for a break all those weeks ago, and I've been paying for it ever since. My head is filled with so many questions, and I've been wondering if ye still want me in yer life. Then this morning, I came face-to-face with that little witch, Geneva. Like a fool, I listened to her story about a rumour going around that my brother was seeing someone. So, I came looking for ye at work, and I was told ye left early, and so did Willie. Then, I walked in through yer bloody door to find Willie half-naked and ye in just yer bathrobe in his arms. Do ye have any idea what that was like?"

On her elbows, she edged backwards toward the headboard, her heart thumping hard against her rib cage. "Jamie, listen, I have something to tell you..."

"Oh no, I'm not done yet." His hand closed around her ankle and dragged her beneath his body. "You once said ye love me, but I haven't heard ye repeat those wee words in a verra long time. And I'm beginning to wonder if something has changed. I'm not the kind of man who begs, but I'm going to make an exception with ye, only because I can't live without ye. And if ye think I'm just going to sit back and not try to win ye back, ye have another think coming." One strong hand grasped her knee and curled it around his waist. When he settled between her legs, her head fell back on the mattress with a whimper. "I love ye Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp, ye hear me? Always have, right from the beginning. Ye don't get to swoop in, make me fall in love with ye and bail. Oh no, lass, that's not how it's going to work." Jamie pressed his erection between her thighs and muttered expletives under his breath. "Can ye live without us? Because I can't. I'm done waiting, and I need ye so badly, Sassenach..."

Claire gasped as he rotated his hips against her. "Jamie, wait, please..."

Placing his weight on his forearms, he stilled completely and leaned down to speak urgently against her lips. "Ye were my light at my lowest moment. Don't send me back out in the darkness, please, Sassenach." His mouth parted against her neck to taste her skin. "Christ, I've missed ye..."

"Jamie, I don't think now's the time." His fervent plea was breaking her heart, but she needed to tell him her news.

"Why?" His hands were moving quickly to untie her robe. "Don't ye want me anymore?" he mumbled as he planted kisses all over her face.

"Jamie, you're not going to be in the mood after I tell you my news." She felt his stomach and thigh muscles tighten as he grazed her earlobes with his teeth.

"Not going to happen..." Then his mouth sought hers before their lips locked in a kiss that shook her soul. When he finally pulled away, his eyes were dark and heavy with arousal. "...unless ye tell me ye don't love me anymore."

"It's not that..." she whispered, her heart lodged in her throat. _Oh, Jesus, are we ready for this? Am I ready for this? What about the things I want to do before settling down?_

"Tell me, Sassenach, what is it?"

"I'm pregnant." Then her face crumpled, and she started to cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers, I hope you're keeping safe, healthy and spreading the positive vibe all around. Thank you all for your feedback from the previous chapter and as I say often enough, I read them and appreciate them all. 
> 
> Anyway, because everyone needs a bit of cheering up and some of you were disappointed with the OL barn scene from the previous episode (Outlander TV series), on my next chapter, I will be having a little surprise for you. I can't divulge further but I hope it's something you will look forward to. Keep safe and be well my friends. Love to all. 😘❤️


	26. Hold Your Horses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously in The Horse Whisperer ...
> 
> "Why?" His hands were moving quickly to untie her robe. "Don't ye want me anymore?" he mumbled as he planted kisses all over her face.
> 
> "Jamie, you're not going to be in the mood after I tell you my news." She felt his stomach and thigh muscles tighten as he grazed her earlobes with his teeth.
> 
> "Not going to happen..." Then his mouth sought hers before their lips locked in a kiss that shook her soul. When he finally pulled away, his eyes were dark and heavy with arousal. "...unless ye tell me ye don't love me anymore."
> 
> "It's not that..." she whispered, her heart lodged in her throat. Oh, Jesus, are we ready for this? Am I ready for this? What about the things I want to do before settling down?
> 
> "Tell me, Sassenach, what is it?"
> 
> "I'm pregnant." Then her face crumpled, and she started to cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone and happy Easter. 
> 
> This chapter is quite a long one. (Worth 2 chapters of writing, hence it took long) To summarise it in a few words, this update is my version of the barn scene. (My surprise for you) It was challenging to write, but at the same time, enjoyable.
> 
> Without further ado, I wish you all happy reading!❤️
> 
> ******************************************************************  
> WARNING: VERY VERY EXPLICIT SEXUAL CONTENT  
> ******************************************************************

Jamie lifted his head, and his frenzied movement on top of her came to a sudden stop. "What did ye say?" he whispered, his gaze drilling into hers. The lust in his eyes had evaporated as choppy emotions sailed across his face like a water rafting ride gone bad.

A whimper caught in her throat. "I'm pregnant." Why is the utterance of such simple words breaking her heart? Claire shut her eyes, refusing to look at him as tears streamed down her face. It was so unlike her to show weakness. Even going back to her high school days, she had been too stubborn to cry in front of her tormentors. 

The silence pulsed like it was alive, so many questions hanging over them in a big bubble, and the longer Jamie remained quiet, the more the panic propagated inside her. They have been through a lot as a family, and the last thing Claire wanted was to burden Jamie with her news. She had no doubt that he would do the right thing _but is this what he wants?_ They were just embarking into a new relationship, and while she was finding her way again in the Highlands, Jamie was still on the road to recovery. Now a baby? How could she have been so careless? What would the rest of the family think? She was supposed to be the smart one, and smart people aren't supposed to be reckless.

"Sassenach, look at me."

She gulped for breath and hung on tight. The sunlight streaming from the windows didn't help at all as it blared full strength, so she kept her eyes firmly shut, hoping all this was just a dream.

"Sassenach, please." Jamie shifted his weight to his side and gently gathered her in his arms. 

Glorious warmth wrapped around her as he tucked her into his chest and held her close. The sweetness of his touch hushed her troubled heart, and slowly she relaxed against him, her muscles melting into the hard planes of his upper body, the strength of his arms, and the powerful thighs against hers. He murmured soothing words into her ears and rested his chin on top of her head. In his embrace, the fear momentarily lifted, and her cries subsided into hiccups. She could feel his heart racing against her hands.

After a few heartbeats, he forced her head up, digging his fingers into her scalp with gentle pressure. "Hul-loh there, mama ..." he whispered, hoarsely. A beatific smile unfurled across his face, making Claire blinked twice. "So, I'm going to be a daddy. Please tell me ye're happy too because words can't describe what I'm feeling right now." His eyes glistened as raw emotion resonated in his voice.

She bit her lips as she tried to sort through the different emotions struggling to surface. "I-I'm scared, Jamie. Oh, God, I'm so scared. Th-this is so huge. I realise it's too soon a-and I don't want you t-to feel obligated to take this on..a-and... and..." she stuttered shakily in between hiccups and stilted intake of breaths.

He put a thumb over her lips, the smile never leaving his face. "Ach, Sassenach, I'm scared too. But, Christ, have ye no idea how happy ye've made me?"

She was stunned at how well he took the news. He looked like he just won the lottery. But her emotions were all over the place.

Suddenly, annoyance surged through her, and she curled a hand into a fist and pummeled him on the chest. "Damn you, Jamie, damn you. And you nearly died taking that bullet, and what if..."

He didn't let her finish as he crashed his mouth over hers.

She didn't see his next move coming. He simply took over, burying his hands in her hair to keep her still. His tongue coaxed, teased and stroke her lips until she relaxed, opened wide and gave him what he wanted. She moaned as he sunk deep, making her head spin. His scent swamped her senses, and she desperately clung unto him, already under his spell and unable to fight it. He tasted of all things she loved - butter cookies and whisky-infused chocolate. Freshly squeezed orange juice and mint gum. He kissed her endlessly, slow and thorough, taking his sweet time as he ran a palm down her belly. His body shook with the effort to control his impulse, her response extracting a groan to spill from his throat.

Then there was a loud rap on the bedroom door. _Oh no!_

Their lips slid apart, breaking contact, his flavour dancing tantalisingly on her tongue. For a brief moment, they stared at each other, both unwilling to let go of their magical connection. The sound of their shallow breathing seemed deafening in the shattering silence that passed.

Another rap, this time it was louder. "Hey, ye two, are ye going to get moving or what? We dinna want to be late for dinner. Ye ken what's Jenny like." It was Geillis, and they could hear her impatiently shuffling from behind the door. "If ye don't get moving, I'll pour a bucket of iced water over the two of ye and..."

"Coming!" Claire shouted despite the protests Jamie launched at her with his eyes. She made a move, but he grabbed her wrist.

"Do we have to go?" he asked huskily, cocking his head back. Pupils dilated with lust, mouth damp from kissing her, and his coppery curls mussed up from her fingers raking through the strands, it was tough to resist him. But she already made a promise to Ellen and Brian.

"What? And miss good food?" With lightheadedness gone, her stomach grumbled at the thought of dinner. All of a sudden, she was looking forward to dessert even though she had never been a sweet tooth. _When did food ever come first priority when there's a gorgeous man in my bed?_ But then again, her body rhythm was running amok lately in ways that ways a novelty to her. Giving Jamie a brief kiss, she wiped the tears away and hesitantly clambered out from the bed.

He groaned loudly, his breath coming out in ragged pants as he collapsed against the mattress.

Opening the door, Claire was confronted by an amused looking Geillis. Smiling, her friend's gaze briefly flicked past her shoulder to where Jamie was. "Our wee fox cub looks in top form, I see," she teased, winking.

"I heard that," Jamie's irritated voice came from behind her.

Geillis gave a haughty sniff and looked at Claire. "Willie and I will go ahead, ok? There are a few things we need to pick up from the shops before heading to Lallybroch. How are ye feeling? Ye think ye're up for family dinner tonight?" 

She knew her tear-stained face wasn't lost on Geillis. "Just a dizzy spell. It's all good." She hated lying to her best friend, but her brief explanation would have to suffice for now. She was still trying to reconcile her pregnancy with her thought process and Jamie's reaction. "You and Willie go ahead. I still need to shower. We shan't take long."

A frown marred Geillis' delicate brow. "Talk later then? I'm worried about ye, ye ken?"

"We'll talk, of course." She paused for a moment before giving her friend a quick hug. "There's nothing to worry about. I'll tell you all about it later. I promise," she whispered in her ears, giving her a reassuring squeeze.

"Alright then, fair enough." And with that, Geillis turned around and left.

When finally they were alone, she closed her eyes, let out a huge sigh and leaned back against the door. All she wanted at that moment was to curl up in a fetal position and rock herself to sleep. With her mood swings and fatigue, pregnancy was just too much to take in.

As if sensing her inner turmoil, Jamie approached her and took her in his arms and kissed her forehead. "Ye need not worry. There's the two of us now, Sassenach and soon, we'll be a family. It's everything I've hoped for and more. And I can't wait to tell everyone over dinner."

She pulled away to look at him. "Shouldn't we wait until we see the doctor? Pregnancy kits are not a hundred per cent accurate ..."

He laughed. "Och, ye're definitely pregnant."

Annoyed, she glared at him. "What makes you say that?"

"Weel, first off, yer tits feel bigger," he grinned as he stood back to eye her breasts. "And secondly, ye cried like a babe in swathing band, and I ken ye'd rather die than cry in front of me. Aye, I ken about women and hormones. And ye're definitely hormonal."

 _How dare he?_ She bit back an angry reply. Jamie was right - she was definitely pregnant, as a tingling in her spine confirmed it for her. Her emotions were all over the place, and the stress at work was getting to her. Taking substantial deep breaths, she ignored his remark and forced a smile. "I'll go for a quick shower. I don't want us late for dinner."

Before she could make a move, he stopped her. "Come here." He snagged her around the waist, pulled her in and kissed her. The sweetness of his lips moving over hers stole her breath and soothed her soul. After a few heartbeats, he slowly let her go, but his gaze kept her pinned in place. "Better?"

She nodded, and this time when she smiled, she meant it.

..........

Jamie watched dinner unfold and tried to smother his mounting need to blurt out to the world he was going to be a da. 

Whereas he could barely taste the beautifully prepared meal before him, Claire ate hers with relish, hardly joining in any of the conversations. And when she did talk, she kept things deliberately light and steered away from topics about herself. So far, so good, no one had taken notice of her unusually reserved manner, but it was only a matter of time. It was apparent to him that she was nervous and fidgety about sharing their news. He should have been frustrated. Instead, he was filled with anticipation that rivalled Christmas mornings back in his childhood when he'd discovered beautifully wrapped presents under the tree, begging to be torn open. His chest swelled with pride and love at the thought of her carrying his child, and he couldn't wait for everyone to know.

He enjoyed watching her eat and fill her plate with second helping, her eyes lighting up as she savoured every morsel she put into her mouth. Her normally pale skin was flushed a gorgeous pink from warmth and food. She hadn't bothered putting make-up on and from where he was sat, he could see the faint freckles scattered across her nose under the soft gleam of the light. Lust struck him hard, and an overwhelming primitive need to claim his woman blasted him in waves. She looked so vulnerable amidst the laidback chaos of their family gathering. 

Right there and then, he wanted to whisk her away and ease her mind and heart, and promise her the world. The overwhelming need to give her everything she'd ever wanted surging through him.

Although he appreciated the fine art of patience, he figured tonight was the perfect occasion to announce their news, even though Claire was of the mind to wait until her pregnancy was confirmed by the doctor. A family dinner where everyone was present was a rarity in the Fraser household; hence he had pushed to grab this opportunity, much to her mild annoyance.

Slowly, the chatter faded into the background as he started to make plans in his head. First and foremost, he needed to accelerate the renovation of his house, which of course would require immediate funds. Although he had money saved, expediting the restoration would throw him off-budget. He mentally sifted through to his to-do list, not forgetting about Donas, the horse that was in the family stable. And the continuation of his therapy and rehabilitation. He needed his strength back to accomplish all that he needed to do. Finishing the house on time was tight but still doable. For sure, there would be setbacks, but that was part of the building process. And then there's the baby, and soon they would be a family. And one thing he wanted to make sure of - he was determined his bairn will not be born out of wedlock. 

By the end of the meal, Claire had leaned back against her chair, looking exhausted and completely disengaged with the discussion at the table. It was easy for her to disappear, with Jenny and Geillis taking over most of the conversation. So Jamie raised his voice and interrupted Geillis speech on the drawback of taking on packaged tours for the hotel. "I think that's enough shop talk for the evening. Don't ye think? That's all we ever talk about every time we're all together. How about we talk about what's going on outside work." He saw Claire suddenly perked up and her eyes widened as she subtly mouthed no and shook her head. He gave her a slow grin and winked.

"Aye, son. I've been wondering that myself. Surely ye young 'uns do more than work. So, what's everyone been up to, besides grafting all day?" Brian put his fork down and studied each of their faces. A slight frown marred his face when everyone went silent, each person on the table eyeing each other to see who will talk first. It amused Jamie how his father wielded power and authority over the family. "Weel? The silence is making me nervous. I hope none of ye has been up to no good."

Ellen delicately dabbed her lips with a napkin and patted her husband's hand. "Ah, the hotel has been chock-a-block with events' reservation these last couple of months. So I guess everyone has been too busy to have a life outside work. Maybe we should hire more staff..."

Ian, Jenny's fiance, cleared his throat. "Weel, if ye need an extra pair of hands during the weekend, I can help. The additional cash will go toward the future family fund." 

Jenny smiled with pride while Claire coughed and spluttered on the glass of water she was drinking.

Ellen gave a sympathetic nod as Geillis reached out to thump her back. "Ye alright, Claire dear? Ye've been awfully quiet tonight. And ye're not drinking wine? It's a fine bottle of Barolo we have here."

Humour struck, and Jamie smirked, but he figured it would be wise not to laugh considering what he had heard in the past about hormonal women during pregnancy. He needed to be in Claire's good books tonight.

Claire continued to cough, her golden eyes lasering firearms in warning at him. "Just tired, ma," she said through gritted teeth. "I think it's early to bed for me tonight."

 _Aye early to bed, but not to sleep._ Jamie suppressed the urge to smile. He was done waiting, and he knew Claire wanted him too. Maybe after their meal, they could go for a walk and show her Donas before going to bed. 

"Speaking of outside work, I've got some news I'd like to share," Willie joined in. Claire's coughing fit momentarily forgotten, everyone turned their attention to the older Fraser sibling. "I might as well share it with all of you now that everyone is here." Willie glanced at Geillis and immediately, the look on her face told Jamie what was coming.

This time it was Geillis turn to choke, her face turning almost the same colour as her hair.

Jamie observed his brother and thought of the tangled mess he'd made earlier in the day. _Damn Geneva!_ He felt like a fool for allowing jealousy to get the better of him and wondered how to fix it. As if reading his mind, Willie gave him a reassuring nod as if to say, all was alright and that he understood. 

"Oh dear, what's up with all the coughing? I hope it's no' the bug. It's going around ye ken, and the hotel is already understaffed as it is," Jenny piped in, a worried look passing over her face.

Brian's eyes darted from Claire to Geillis, before giving his older son a nod. "So what's the news then?" he clipped out, leaning back on his chair.

Willie shot an apologetic glance at Geillis. "I meant to tell everyone sooner, but I wanted to wait until we were all together. Anyway, Geillis and I have been together for some time now. And I'm happy to introduce her as my girlfriend," he announced, trying his best to tamp down his mirth at Geillis' obvious discomfort.

Ignoring the pleasantly surprised look on Brian and Ellen, Jenny jumped up from the table, her petite form dancing with excitement, "I kind of knew, ye ken. There have been rumours flying about, but I wasn't a hundred per cent sure. Oh, I'm so delighted for ye guys," she squealed, clapping her hands.

Jamie watched with interest as everyone congratulated Willie and a red-faced Geillis. It was highly unusual for once that Geillis was at a loss for words as the newly unveiled couple received hugs and heartfelt congratulations. Happy that his brother had found love at last and that his focus was no longer on Claire anymore, Jamie sought her out amid the excitement. Sensing his gaze on her, Claire turned to look at him. She already knew he was itching to tell the world about her pregnancy and to his relief, she conceded with a simple nod and smile. It must have occurred to her that Willie's announcement would soften the blow of their news. 

But Jamie had something else up his sleeves that he had omitted to tell Claire. It was supposed to be a surprise.

Initial excitement over, everyone settled down back to their seats while Ian refilled everyone's drinks for a toast. A few raised an eyebrow when Claire passed but refrained from saying anything.

"Oh, weel, this is lovely news all around," Ellen gushed. "I ken it's been a trying couple of months for everyone, and I'm so chuffed everything is looking up." She smiled at her husband before turning to Claire. "And ye my dear, I'm so glad ye're eating. Ye've lost so much weight, and we were starting to get worried. And look at those pretty rosy cheeks of yers. It's a sign of good health, isn't it Brian, darling?"

"Aye, she is the epitome of an English rose," Brian smiled warmly, squeezing his wife's hand.

Jamie knew how uncomfortable Claire got when the attention was on her, so he decided now was the time to momentarily take the heat off her. "Er, da, I have something to ask of ye," Jamie interrupted, his gaze never leaving Claire once. 

Brian's eyes narrowed as he noted the seriousness of Jamie's tone. "What is it, lad?"

Jamie stood up and walked over to his father's side as he summoned calm and deep breaths before speaking, straightening to his full height despite the throb on his thigh. "Since Claire's da is not with us and ye are her foster da ..." He paused in concentration, trying to find the right words but everything he planned to say went straight out of the window. Remembering that his father was a man of few words, he decided to discard the flowery speech he had earlier memorised. Mind made up, Jamie looked at him straight in the eye and got straight to the point. "I would like to ask permission to ask Claire's hand in marriage." His heart suspended as a hush in the dining room followed, but the only sound that reached his ears was the gasp that came out from Claire.

"Hmmm ..." Brian looked at Claire, noting she was as stunned as everyone else on the table. "Now, that is one big surprise." His father let out a low whistle. "Not that I have anything against yer proposal. Ye ken that Claire is practically a family and always will be. And I couldn't ask for a better daughter-in-law. But what's the rush?"

"Aye, what's the rush?" Jenny echoed. "I have a wedding coming up soon. Or are ye planning on a double wedding with us?" 

"Jamie?" Claire whispered.

He stole a glance at Claire, and her face looked pale like she was about to pass out. _Why is she looking like that?_ _Wasn't marriage on the cards for her?_ Worry and guilt descended on Jamie's back, weighing like a tonne. 

Geillis quickly grabbed a glass of water and handed it to her friend. "Goodness, so much for rosy cheeks ... ye've gone all white..."

"Aye, what's the rush, Jamie?" Willie asked, briefly glancing at Claire.

"Oh my God, ye really are pregnant, aren't ye?" Geillis blurted out. Realising what she just said, her hand flew to her mouth.

Everybody started talking at once, and Claire and Jamie groaned in unison. It wasn't panning out as Jamie had hoped for, but nought could be done now except to plod ahead.

"Oh, we have a wee Fraser bairn on the way, have we?" Ellen remarked, looking delighted than perturbed.

"How did that happen?" Willie asked, a frown marring his brows.

Jamie dragged in a deep breath, as exasperation began to simmer. "What do ye mean how did it happened? Do ye think we were playing marbles behind close doors?" _Christ, this was going all wrong._

"That must have been some marbles, eh?" Ian laughed, slapping a hand on his thigh.

Jenny shot her fiance a warning look.

"Lads!" Brian's voice thundered. "I'll do the talking, and no one talks until I ask ye to."

"Oh, dear..." Ellen sighed.

Brian waited for silence before he turned his attention to Claire. Everyone's eyes were on her, and they waited patiently for her to say something. Jamie wanted to interrupt to ease the pressure off her, but Brian raised his hand.

"Claire sweetheart is there something ye want to share with us?"

She hesitated for a long while. A minute passed before she was able to speak. And when she finally found her voice, she smiled at Jenny and Ellen. "The meal was superb," she started, as her hands disappeared under the table. Jamie could almost picture her wringing it in apprehension, but her beautiful face was too pale for his liking, and he began to worry.

"Oh, yes... I found out today that I'm pregnant. I know it's a huge shock for everyone and you must all think, how silly I am to be so careless. So if I've disappointed any of you, I'm so sorry." She rambled, shrugged and then looked at Jamie. "Jamie, I'm going to be quick about this because I'm suddenly feeling unwell. I love you loads. I know you haven't asked me yet, but yes, I'll marry you." Then she stood up and held out a hand to him, barely forewarned by the look in her eyes before she collapsed back onto her chair and fainted.

..........

The crack of lightning illuminated the sky, and the earth rumbled with fury as thunder followed. Although there was a storm brewing, the air remained bone dry and humid. Jamie quickly shrugged on a sweatshirt and a pair of worn jeans, thrusting his feet into old sneakers. He couldn't sleep so he might as well head out to the stables and check on Donas. Storms always spooked animals, and he wanted to make sure the horse was alright.

Before he left, he checked up on Claire. The colour was back on her cheeks. Curled up, hugging a pillow, face smoothed free of worries, dark curls spilt messily around her like a halo, she looked open and vulnerable. She had frightened them all after she collapsed in front of the family during dinner. Thinking about it made him feel guilty for suggesting marriage when she was just coming to terms with her carrying his child. But the doctor, who was a close family friend, assured them there was nothing to worry about and that it was pregnancy symptoms coupled with worked stress that caused her to faint.

Closing the door behind him, he headed for the stables, but he had to pause a few times to rub his right thigh. The change in weather almost always affected the injured muscles, making it throb and seize with every movement. The ache seeped into the bones and sinews, but he kept walking, embracing the pain to distract him of thoughts of Claire. Even though sweat prickled his skin, he increased his pace, sensing the rain would come shortly.

Reaching his destination, he winced as another boom of thunder split through the quiet. Letting out a low whistle to announce his arrival, he heard Donas paced the stall in nervous rage, and he hurried to reach the horse's side. Catching his scent, the frantic animal whirled around and stared back at him.

Inky eyes rolled back, filled with fear and rebellion. Heads raised, they assessed one another for a long time. Then something rose up inside Jamie, driving him forward. The horse needed touch and comfort and most of all, grounding.

"Och, having a bad night are we? What is it about loud noises and storm that bring the bad stuff, huh?" he crooned, as he put a hand on a rail.

Nostrils flared, recognition and wariness flickered in the horse's gaze. Feeling the thick humidity clogged and blocked the fresh air, Jamie peeled off his sweatshirt and tossed it on a pile of hay. With deliberate, careful motions, he unlatched the door and stepped into the stall. 

As Donas backed up, his arse hit the back the wall and his lips curled back in warning. Slowly, Jamie raised his hands, a stream of soothing Gaelic words rolling from his mouth. "That's it, that's a good lad. Let me touch ye. Where do ye like to be touch? Every horse has a favourite spot that reminds them of comfort and safety, aye? Ach such a beauty, ye are. Did someone try to beat ye? I know, I know, no one deserves that."

Jamie kept moving and talking until finally, he was able to reach out and slowly rub his nose. He deepened his voice, hypnotising them both away from the demons that raged outside and within. "That's my lad. I'm not going to hurt ye. That's it, that's a good lad."

He murmured nonstop, stroking Donas' skin, watching every move and expression to sense what he liked and didn't like. Down the neck, over the left flank, to the side belly and back up, Jamie kept up the light massage until a tiny softening of muscle told him Donas liked to be touch right under his chin.

"Ach, right here is it? Here ye go then..."

Thunder roared outside, and Jamie's breath hissed out, making Donas jerked. Rubbing the spot under Donas' chin, he murmured endearments until the horse began to steady and relax once again.

Finally, peace settled between them, a small smile resting on Jamie's lips. He gave himself to the moment, to this one magnificent animal who deserved a second chance and hoped with all his heart that Claire wanted the same thing as he did.

..........

She stirred as a loud clap of thunder, perforated her consciousness. Disoriented, she looked around and noticed she was in Jamie's makeshift bedroom. She reached out to his side of the bed, but he wasn't there. Sitting up, she tried to gather her bearings before memories of family dinner started to flood back in waves. She groaned, slapping her forehead.

Claire vaguely remembered being carried to bed or being fussed over by Geillis and Jenny. But she did remember clearly, an unfamiliar, kind voice saying she was alright and that she only needed plenty of rest.

Lightning illuminated the room. Feeling hot and sticky, she got out of bed and walked over to the window to watch the sky. A faint prickle of excitement mixed with apprehension shot down her spine as she laid a hand on her stomach. Although that day was loaded with surprises that literally knocked her off her feet, there was a restless need to move forward. 

Dressed only in her nightshirt, she put on her wellies and left the sanctuary of the house, eager for some fresh air. Intuitively she knew Jamie wouldn't be indoors. She had heard all about the fostered horse and instinct told her he would be in the stable. It was where all the Fraser kids, including herself, used to run when they needed time to think.

The trees stirred, and the scent of ripe earth and pungent spring florals rose to her nostrils. Storms always meant cuddling up under thick blankets, but it was unusually warm for this time of year. Although she had never walked in the rain without proper cover, tonight she craved the feel of water on her skin.

Her path took her towards the outbuilding, silent and dark. She badly needed Jamie to hold her in his arms. Despite the uncertainty of their future, she always found her centre with him. He was her home. And tonight of all nights, she certainly didn't want to be alone.

A jagged arc of light exploded in the dark sky and drops of cold water hit her flushed skin, offering relief from the heavy heat. She tilted her head up, embracing the rain while trying to count the endless stars, and she jumped when a crack of thunder shook the ground.

In the silence that followed, she heard Jamie's low voice. Then the rain picked up, slowly gaining force, and soon her nightshirt was soaked, but she didn't care. Wiping dripping rivulets of rain from her forehead, she went through the open door and crept toward the back of the stable, careful not to disturb.

Jamie stood in the stall with a beautiful black horse. She watched while he whispered something Gaelic in the animal's pricked ears, his hand stroking under the horse's massive head. Man and animal were caught in the moment, completely connected with one another and oblivious to their surrounding. Transfixed by the display, her gaze roved over the man. _Yes, my man!_ Her heart started to race at the thought that he was indeed hers.

Shirtless, Jamie's lithe, sleek muscles stretched under his damp golden skin, and jeans slung low on his lean hips. His legs were braced apart, giving her an ample view of his tight arse. With his ginger hair brushing the back of his neck and the shadow of his beard hugging his jaw, he looked like a work of art. She swallowed hard as she imagined running her hand down the length of his spine, to test the solidness of his flesh. Suddenly, the air charged, and he stilled. He slowly pivoted his body and their eyes locked.

Electricity crackled through the stable, echoing the sound of thunder that vibrated the walls around them. The horse jerked slightly, but stayed put, still under the spell of the man who had his hands on him. His gaze openly swept over her body, lingering over the curves of her breasts under her wet nightshirt.

"Are ye feeling better?" Jamie asked but didn't move. He regarded her under heavy-lidded eyes while his fingers danced over the horse's side in a hypnotic rhythm. Unconsciously biting down on her lip, she imagined them trailing down her naked body.

She nodded. "Did I scare everyone earlier?"

"Aye. We were all worried, but the doctor assured us ye'll be fine. Part of pregnancy symptoms...I guess. Or was it the talk of marriage that made ye faint?"

Rain pelted the windows, sounding like a heavy shower of hailstones. Anticipation stretched between them, thrumming under every movement and word spoken. 

"No, of course not." She thought of something else to say, feeling conscious of his gaze. "So, this is Donas," she finally said.

Jamie turned his attention towards the horse. "Aye, Isobel's rescue. He was definitely abused, but I'm not sure yet to what extent. I intend to rehabilitate him."

Sadness engulfed her as she glanced at the beautiful creature. "I can't understand why anyone would want to hurt an animal. Do you think Donas will recover?"

"I hope so. I need to spend a lot of time with him, so I can gain his trust. Touching is a great way to obtain it - it grounds and calms them. You can tell I found his sweet spot."

Her breath hitched at the not so subtle innuendo. "Sweet spot indeed."

A flash of amusement lit his eyes. "Horses like certain places rubbed ...kind of like ye."

A strangled noise escaped her throat. "Hmmm, is that so?" she croaked.

He turned his gaze towards the horse. "Remember when we use to sleep here years ago, whenever there was a thunderstorm? We took turns calming the horses."

She smiled at the distant memory. "Of course, I remember. Precious times with you ...away from the horrors of school."

A sad smile flickered on his lips. "I loved spending every moment with ye. I only wish I could turn back time and make things right. That story with Geneva will forever haunt me ...ye nearly took yer own life. If anything had happened to ye then, I would have been so devastated ..."

Claire stared at him as the words wound their way through her head and heart, tangling up into one big knot. How could she have been so blind back then? Jamie had always loved her, been there for her. Despite her flaws, he saw through her imperfections and quirkiness. She can admit to herself now, after years of suppressing it, she had always been infatuated with him. But because of their circumstances growing up, she had crushed those ideas out of guilt, thinking it was immoral to have feelings that went beyond sibling fondness. 

Her realisation startled her, and now, she too wished she could turn back time and let him know that she loved him then. She had always held a little back when they made love, but tonight she wanted to give all of her, no holds barred, the same way he had always done for her.

The air charged all of a sudden. As if Jamie had caught her actual thought, he dropped his hands and walked away from the horse. His motion was slow and deliberate as he closed the stall door and moved forward to stand a few inches away from her. "I've never seen ye look at me like that before. Tell me, Sassenach, ye want me, don't ye?"

She was too mesmerised to answer. Shifting closer, Jamie reached out and smoothed back the wet strands of hair away from her face and caressed her cheek. He leaned forward and breathed out the words against her ears. "...so bad that ye came out looking for me."

Heat exploded through her veins. Barely able to breathe, she stood helpless under Jamie's spell, enthralled by the look of raw hunger in his penetrating blue eyes.

"Ye're soaking wet," he whispered. 

Slowly, his index finger travelled down her jaw and the side of her neck. And it stopped at the curve of her breast. His gaze locked with hers, as he traced the outline of her nipple beneath the damp cotton. The erotic gesture made a tiny gasp burst from her lips. "Yes," she replied hoarsely.

"Aye, definitely on the outside. How about down there, Sassenach, are ye wet there too?" 

Her heart faltered before it rocketed into a frenzied rhythm. The world seemed to slow down to that one finger as it dropped from her nipple and drifted past her stomach down to her thigh. Lifting her nightshirt, it paused at the waistband of her panties. "Will ye tell me, or shall I find out myself?"

A bolt of lightning lit up the room, illuminating Jamie's face. The scent of man and horse and hay swamped her senses, making her giddy with pleasure and need. When her knees began to give way, he backed her up the last step toward the wall.

"Sassenach?"

Startled, she blinked up at him, already prepared for the sensual assault. There was nothing to think about or plan when she was in Jamie's arms. The only focus she had now was giving all of herself to him, in complete surrender. Grasping his hand, she guided his fingers to the throbbing ache between her legs. "Touch me, Jamie," she pleaded huskily, arching her hips in invitation. "Please."

With a low growl of triumph, he picked her up and pinned her against the wall. Her legs automatically wrapped around his hips and her fingers raked through his hair, holding his head still as she looked into his eyes. 

Pure lust was etched in his carved features, sending a jolt of heat all over her body. Uttering obscenities under his breath, he stamped his lips over hers and thrust his tongue inside her mouth, savouring her like she was the finest whisky he had ever tasted. "Christ, I don't think I can be gentle with ye ... it's been too long, Sassenach," he murmured against her lips, hips rocking her back and forth.

She moaned as he deepened the kiss, surrendering and letting her body take the lead. "I don't want gentle ...I w-want you so bad ..." Arching against the wall, her hands ran over his chest and back, scraping her nails impatiently over his taut shoulders.

Jamie didn't need further persuasion. Suddenly in quick successive motions, he yanked off her nightshirt, pulled the wellies off her feet and dragged her panties down her hips, kicking them away on the dirty floor. Hitching her higher against the wall, he savagely sucked her nipple and plunged two fingers into her heated core. There was no seduction or tentativeness just the carnal pump of his fingers and the swipe of his thumb over her sensitive nub. 

"Yes, oh Christ, Jamie, please..." she sobbed as she writhed against him.

Never taking his fingers from inside her, he slid her down and took her mouth, swallowing her cries as he pushed her to the edge.

When he finally ripped his mouth away from hers, he studied her face, sky-blue eyes delving, sheened with lust and reverence that filled her up. "Ye're so beautiful, _mo chrìdh._ Let go and come for me ...aye, that's it. So sweet, my lass..." His hand worked in ruthless precision that soared her straight to the peak of climax, pushing her over in moments.

"Oh God, Jamie..." Her body started to convulse uncontrollably, thrashing her head back and forth. The excruciating pleasure surged over her in waves as her body rode it with wild abandon. Jamie continued to pump his fingers inside her, easing slowly until every last orgasm was wrung out.

Finally, when her body started to go limp, he drew back his head and scooped her up against him, pressing kisses on her cheek. "Ye were wonderful, Sassenach. I've dreamt every night touching ye like this ... of having ye back in my arms," he murmured against her ears, one hand stroking her hair.

Her vision was still blurred, and her head lolled as he swung her from the wall and gently laid her down on a pile of fresh hay. Another bolt of thunder shook the stable, and she shuddered in anticipation as her focus cleared. He stood there, looking magnificent in all his maleness glory. Mouth dry, unable to say a word to express the need coursing through her, she lifted her arms for him to join her.

Slowly, he divested himself of his jeans, as he took in her naked body, trembling and open for him. He plied her with sweet Gaelic endearments, as he lowered himself over her, worshipping her with kisses. Rubbing rough palms over her sensitive nipples, he took his time, stroking, licking and sucking, until she was begging for relief.

Then he slipped his hands under her knees and pushed forward towards her opening. Her thighs trembled in his grip as he slowly surged between her legs. Wantonly, her body squeezed him tight even as she waited with bated breaths for the complete joining of their bodies. She watched his expression in pure fascination as his eyes practically rolled back in his head in exquisite pleasure. 

Buried to the hilt, he took a ragged breath, his gaze raking over her face. "Yer first tumble in the hay, Sassenach," he teased, pure male satisfaction lighting up his eyes. As she adjusted to his girth and started to rock her hips, he groaned, pressing his forehead to hers. "Christ, I like ye like this ...all wild and messy. So tight, so perfect."

"And you talk too much," she hissed.

His chest shook against her, as he gave a low laugh. Taking her mouth in a deep drugging kiss, he began to move, chanting her name under his breath. Then tearing his lips away from hers, he cupped her cheek, forcing her to keep his gaze as he rocked his hips against her, sliding all the way out, and then thrusting deep and hard. Arousal flickered to life from within her belly as her body woke up again. She arched up and pushed at his shoulders, caught between needing more and needing him to retreat.

A vicious curse escaped his lips. "Ye're so perfect, Sassenach. So beautiful in every way. With my child in ye, I'm part of ye forever."

His words made her heart expand, almost depriving her of air. Then he pulled out and dragged the tip of his cock over her aching core, before slamming back deep inside her. In seconds, she was caught again on edge as tiny whimpers rose from her throat. With every powerful stroke of his thrust, he claimed her, allowing no room for anything but the primitive demand of surrender. "I'm yours completely, Jamie," she cried out. 

"As I'm yers, _mo nighean donn_ , as I'm yers," he whispered, running a hand over her breast to tug at a nipple. "Don't hold back ... give me all ye have."

Everything blurred in a haze, lost under the driving rhythm of his thrusts, pushing her higher and higher. He gripped her hips and lifted her to meet him. And in that brief moment, an overwhelming love pervaded through every molecule of her body, more potent than the lust and need for release. She wanted to give all of her, freely and wildly.

Clasping her legs tight around his hips, she lifted up and using the pressure of her body weight, forcibly flipped him over, with him still deep inside her. On top of him, she sank down, bowing back her body.

"Oh, God, ye're killing me," he breathed out, his hands gripping her waist. He lifted her high up above him and slammed her down on his cock. "Take what ye want, Sassenach. Take it all. I belong to ye."

So she did, moving her body to her own demanding pace. Her thighs tightened, and she threw her head back in rapture. She rode his cock free from inhibition, focused only on the man underneath her. He filled every aching inch, knocking away her very breath, and she clenched her inner muscles to seize him even deeper, rocking her hips to take him to the hilt. When the orgasm finally exploded through her body, she screamed his name without restraint.

He let out a hoarse shout. "Oh, fuck," he gritted. "Don't want it to end. It's too good. Ye feel so good." Grabbing her hips, he forced her to ride him through her climax, drawing out her pleasure for endless, mind-blowing moments. Then he was coming, twisting his body and dragging her down so he could kiss her, his tongue thrusting desperately as his cock. 

Spilling his seed, he roared out her name.

The rain battered the roof, and the lightning lit the stable. Donas gave a low snort, his hooves a dull echo. Finally, she collapsed onto his chest, her skin damped from sweat.

Then her muscles shut down one by one until she slumped over, stretched on top of him. Legs entwined and his breath on her cheeks, she let her mind go blank and her limbs limp. Sated, she relished the floaty sensation of complete bliss.

He pulled her close, wrapped his arms around her, and relaxed into a full snuggle. They were quiet for a while as if they both sensed the moment was bigger than any words. The scent of sex, sweat and musk lingered heavily in the air.

Jamie spoke first. "I intend to marry only once, Sassenach. And I wanted to make it a day to remember when I propose to ye, surrounded by family. Somehow, I managed to muck that up," he said ruefully, tapping the tip of her nose.

Groggily, she pressed a kiss to his bristly jaw. "Let's say, dinner earlier never happened. And now, there's only the two of us. How would you propose, and what would you do differently?"

He thought for a moment. "I would begin by teaching you a Gaelic word, _cianalas_."

Although she partially grew up in the Highlands, her knowledge of Gaelic was slight. " _Cianalas_ ," she repeated, pronouncing it in the same guttural tone as he had.

"Aye. It's a yearning for something that was lost or never existed. You feel it for a person or a place, or a time in your life... it's sort of sadness of the soul if ye wish. _Cianalas_ calls to a Highlander even when he's closest to happiness, reminding him that he's incomplete."

His words caused her heart to break a little. "Do you feel that way, Jamie? Incomplete?" she asked, her voice barely a whisper.

"Ever since the day I was born." He looked down into her face, tenderly pushing the loose tendrils of curls away from her eye. "But never when I'm with ye." Then he took her hand and kissed the inside of her palm. "I ken we're not in the most idyllic place, nor will I ever be accused of being romantic; nevertheless, I will ask ye. So _, mo chrìdhe,_ would ye do me the honour of becoming my wife?"

Nestling closer until their faces were inches apart, she scanned his face for the longest time, absorbing all the adoration in his eyes. Leaning forward, she kissed him slow, deep and gentle. Then when she pulled away, she rubbed her nose against his. "Your proposals are improving, Mr James Fraser," she whispered.

He laughed out loud and pulled her tighter against him. "Is that a yes?"

A smile touched her swollen lips. "Yes, Jamie, it's a yes."

"I don't have the ring with me here. It's in the house. It's not a done deal until I put a ring in your finger," he teased. Taking her hands, he grasped her fingers, entwining them together and bringing them up beside her head.

She wrinkled her nose. "Now, that's awful. Shall we shake on it instead?"

"No."

Slowly realisation dawned, as she looked down between their bodies. "Goodness, Jamie, how do you do that so fast?" She started to wriggle as he began to nip a sensitive part of her neck. "J-Jamie, I can't just yet ...I'm still sore. A-and ...oh, God, yes..."

Jamie covered her body with his, took her mouth and finalised the deal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! I hope you like my version of the barn scene from the Outlander TV series.
> 
> Phew! Sex scenes are always challenging to write ...for me at least. I had to dig deep and get into both of the characters' sexually charged psyche, and on top of it all, there's the complex character of pregnant Claire, which I hope I managed to put across, to you, dear readers. As I said on the note above, this chapter is worth two chapters of writing. I realised, halfway through writing that it would take two chapters before I could arrive at the barn scene, but I didn't want to break my promise. So I persevered and put all these scenes in one update. I hope it doesn't look like that there were too many things going on in one go.
> 
> Anyway, feel free to let me know where I could have done better. Truthfully, I will appreciate it.
> 
> My writing aside, I hope you're safe, well, sane and healthy. Crazy times now, I know, but hey, not much can be done but keep up the positive vibes and hope for the best. I hope you're all having a lovely Easter. Until the next update, take care.
> 
> PS Thank you all for your feedback and beautiful comments on the previous chapter. They always warm my heart.


	27. Obsessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously in Hold your Horses ...
> 
> Nestling closer until their faces were inches apart, she scanned his face for the longest time, absorbing all the adoration in his eyes. Leaning forward, she kissed him slow, deep and gentle. Then when she pulled away, she rubbed her nose against his. "Your proposals are improving, Mr James Fraser," she whispered.
> 
> He laughed out loud and pulled her tighter against him. "Is that a yes?"
> 
> A smile touched her swollen lips. "Yes, Jamie, it's a yes."
> 
> "I don't have the ring with me here. It's in the house. It's not a done deal until I put a ring in your finger," he teased. Taking her hands, he grasped her fingers, entwining them together and bringing them up beside her head.
> 
> She wrinkled her nose. "Now, that's awful. Shall we shake on it instead?"
> 
> "No."
> 
> Slowly realisation dawned, as she looked down between their bodies. "Goodness, Jamie, how do you do that so fast?" She started to wriggle as he began to nip a sensitive part of her neck. "J-Jamie, I can't just yet ...I'm still sore. A-and ...oh, God, yes..."
> 
> Jamie covered her body with his, took her mouth and finalised the deal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wishing you all happy reading! ❤️
> 
> *****************************  
> WARNING: SEXUAL CONTENT  
> *****************************

"Claire! There ye are!"

She spun around in her chair to face Geillis. "Hey! Right on time. Just finishing."

Geillis crossed her arms, took a step back and studied her face. "Mmm ...ye look great. Nae dark circles under yer eyes, ye gained a bit of weight, and ye're no' cranky. Sleeping better?"

She grinned. The last few weeks had been perfect. She was finally sleeping without the nightmares and eating properly. Her work schedule had finally loosened up after the arrival of her new assistant, Mary McNab, a widower in need of a part-time job. And to her relief, her nauseousness and fainting spells seemed to have ebbed. 

Then there was Jamie.

The thought of him made her smile. Since that night in the stable, they had been together almost every day and most nights. And when he wasn't with her, he was either busy rehabilitating Donas or overseeing and working on the renovation of the house he bought a while back. Although she had offered money from her inheritance to finance their eventual home's restoration, he was too stubborn and proud to accept. He was persistent and adamant that it was a man's job to provide for his family with his own sweat and hard work. Slightly annoyed but not wanting to disturb the peace, she conceded, thinking her money could be put to use for other things in the future. She really couldn't complain much about his stubbornness. After all, it was this particular trait that got him through his ordeal.

Although aware of the changes in her body, her pregnancy was still not visible, which was a great thing, since her rushed wedding was only a couple of weeks away, a few months before Jenny's. And for the first time in a very long time, she felt relaxed, and her spirit was light, and she wasn't about to stress over their upcoming nuptials. After what happened in the last few months, she realised life was too precious to be worrying. Whatever worries and expectations she had for the future, she had shoved them away and focused on the present. She did precisely what Ellen had advised her.

_Take it one moment at a time. One day at a time._

_Let your sense of control go and give it up to the higher power._

_Believe you will be guided to the right path and have faith._

As for Jamie, pending fatherhood had changed him a lot. He had been slightly going overboard with baby proofing the house and buying heaps of reading materials on first-time parenthood. And slowly, despite protests from the family, he had also eased his way back to work in the hotel, doing only half-days so as not to compromise his recovery. 

She refocused on Geillis. "Thank you. I'm finally sleeping through the night, so I'm more energetic."

"That's great, chick. It's about time. We don't want ye looking all gaunt and stressed out on yer big day."

"After what happened with Annalise, I think I have my priorities straightened out by now. Call it an awakening or whatever. I'm determined not to be one of those bridezillas. I'll just go with the flow. I'm just happy Jamie is on his feet and thriving even if he's back to being his stubborn self. But I must say, he's obsessing way too much about the baby to a point he was wondering if there was some sort of daddy boot camp around this area."

Geillis laughed. "Aye, weel, that's quite normal. He's definitely looking better too. He looks like a man truly well-loved. If ye ken what I mean." She winked to make a point.

"Ha, ha! Anyway, enough of me. How're things with Willie?"

Geillis rolled her eyes, feigning exasperation over the topic. But Claire knew her friend's feelings ran way deeper. "Weel, ye ken it took a while before he convinced me to go out to dinner with him ..." She paused to check her cuticles. "I tried to be all cool about it by telling him that I'm a big girl, and I could handle one night stands and that he didn't need to take me out to dinner as a thank ye. I was convinced I was some sort of transitional. Weel, he was appalled with my assumptions. But whatever ...I'm done fighting my feelings. Like ye, I'm just going with the flow. I like the lad, Claire but sometimes, I cannae forget that time when he called out yer name on our first night together. It keeps coming back."

"Oh, Geillis." Claire stood up and hugged her friend. When she finally pulled away, she looked at her friend in the eyes. "Listen. He announced to the family that you're his girlfriend, and he hasn't done that for years. Besides, how many times did he ask ye out before ye relented? That accounts for something. He must like you a lot to pursue you; otherwise, he wouldn't have been persistent. Stop worrying. He cares for you, and you know fine, Willie is not that sort of bloke, ok?"

"Aye," Geillis shrugged. "It's just that the Fraser lads are known for their gallantry, so ye never know if Willie was just trying to do right by me."

Claire shook her head. "Now, don't be daft. Willie hardly goes home to Lallybroch now. He's always in our house, and that's because he wants to spend more time with you. And that reminds me, I think he better start coughing up some cash for the rent. That man can eat!"

"Weel so does yer, Jamie. What's with men and midnight snacks?" 

They looked at each other and giggled.

"Come on, lass, let's get ye out of here before more work is piled on yer desk." Geillis started to pull her hand as she grabbed her satchel. "I don't want to be late for our appointment."

Claire almost forgot about their appointment at a beauty salon. They were planning to have their nails done, including facial and Brazilian wax treatments. It was Geillis' advance bridal gift to her. "Erm Geillis, don't ye think I can skip the Brazilian wax part? It sounds like it's going to hurt. And aren't we supposed to do this before the wedding? You know all this pampering and stuff."

"Ach, shush. This one's on me. Jenny arranged the pamper session before the wedding already. And as for the Brazilian wax, Jamie will be please, and ye can consider it an early wedding present for him. And besides, I've wanted to do this for a long time, just ye and me. Even though we live in the same house, we hardly spend time together anymore," Geillis chattered as she continued to pull Claire along. "Ye ken what they say, no pain, no gain. Trust me ...men love it. It will be worth it."

"Well, Jamie has never complained before..."

"Of course, he hasn't complained. He doesn't know any better. Wait till ye see the look on his face when he sees yer fanny."

Self-consciousness crashed over her, and she yanked her friend by the arm. "Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ! Pipe down will you! Don't want the staff knowing what we're about to do."

"Don't want the staff to know what?" a deep voice came from behind them. The girls jumped as Willie approached them. After a quick kiss to Geillis, he eyed them both suspiciously. 

"Aaah, a wee bit of a trim and some pampering. Girls' afternoon out, ye ken. Will be home before dinner," Geillis explained hurriedly. She stood on tiptoes to give Willie a quick peck before pulling Claire roughly.

"Wait ..." Willie called after them.

"We're late, sorry," Claire looked at him apologetically. "See you at home."

 _Damn Geillis! He will find out soon enough what they have been up to._ Claire cringed at the thought as she allowed her friend to pull her away from the baffled looking Willie.

..........

It was early evening when Claire finally made it through her door. She had dropped off Geillis at the hotel for her impromptu dinner date with Willie before heading home. Other than the funny feeling between her legs after the Brazilian wax treatment, Claire felt shiny and brand new from her pampering session. Sneaky as her friend was, she appreciated their time together since it was long overdue and she very much needed some girl-talk.

"In here, Sassenach," Jamie's voice called out as she heard utensils and pans clacking. She inhaled deeply, and she smelled food.

Dropping her satchel and laptop on the coffee table, she made her way to the kitchen. "Oh, hi ...Whatever you're making, I hope you didn't make loads. Geillis and I were served snacks at the beauty salon."

She was just about to go over to Jamie when he stopped her on her tracks. "Stay where ye are, Sassenach. I need to blindfold ye."

"W-what?" 

Jamie waved a hand in the air. "A wee degustation. It's straightforward - I blindfold ye, and ye let me know how each of the things I made taste. It's sort of a trial for a full course menu I'd like to make and suggest to Murtagh."

"Huh? Taste-testing? I don't know if I could go through a whole set of menu, Jamie. I might have loads of appetite these days but don't you think it's a bit late for that?" She eyed the paper bags on the countertop with suspicion. "And why do I have to be blindfolded?"

Jamie smiled. "They're just wee bite portions, Sassenach. I just want to know how the components go together, and ye have a great taste palate. As for the blindfold, I think one has a more open mind when ye can't visually peg the ingredients. Allows yer taste buds to take over as the primary sensory perception."

"Aaah, is that so, Chef Fraser?" she teased, grinning.

"Aye, it is so. Weel, are ye helping me out here or not?"

Her skin tingled with anticipation. "Fine, let's do this."

He lit up, pushing up the sleeves on his casual shirt as if prepping for something big. He put on Claire's girly pink apron hanging from the hook, which only made him look more masculine than ever, and dragged a chair for her to sit on.

"I can sit on the stool," she pointed out.

"No. A chair is sturdier, trust me."

 _Sturdier for what?_ She shrugged. "Alright, so what do I do?"

He pulled out a scarf from the back pocket of his jeans, grinning, a wicked gleam lighting his eyes. "First this."

"Oooh, kinky."

"Aye, I can do kinky," he whispered as he gently placed the scarf over her eyes and tied a loose knot, before planting a kiss on her cheek. "So, can ye see anything?"

"Nope."

"Right, sit tight and give me a few secs."

She heard cupboard doors open and close, and the rustle of bags. She smelled the scent of freshness and a variety of herbs, all mixed up. The refrigerator door squeaked, and then it went silent. Jamie's shuffling around the kitchen slowly relaxed her, and she allowed her mind to drift while she waited for the first taste.

Moments passed before she sensed him kneeling in front of her as a rush of his warm breath hit her lips. "Are ye ready for yer first taste, Sassenach?"

She twitched her nose and smiled. "Yes."

"Open up ...aaahhh."

Her lips parted. She expected the cool, smooth touch of the spoon, but Jamie used his fingers instead. He placed something small and soft on her tongue. The flavour of earth tickled her taste buds, and the firm bite against her teeth exploded juice in her mouth.

"Dumpling? With truffles and wild mushroom." A smile touched her lips as she caught the last bite of mirin. "Ooooh, the balance is incredible."

He wiped a trickle of moisture from her bottom lip. "Good lass. It was dumpling filled with porcini, chanterelles and truffle oil. Did you like it?"

She grinned, licking her lips. "Uh-huh. It was yum."

"Alright, next one." She waited, her senses going on high alert. "Open for me."

Her body relaxed as if trying to respond to the command. Before she could take a whiff of what's coming next, Jamie pushed the morsel into her mouth. She tasted something creamy, thick cheese combined with a hint of garlic, olive oil, sweet basil and crisp tomato.

"Mmmm," she moaned. "Mozzarella cheese, my favourite. And tomato ...so fresh and so good, like it was recently plucked from the vine. And basil ...this is so heaven!"

He chuckled, and his hand began stroking her cheek, soothing her into a more relaxed trance. The simplicity of the flavours flowed through her, and she allowed herself to lean back. "Ye're very good at this, Sassenach and the faces ye're making, is making it hard for me to concentrate," he said in a low voice, his finger trailing down her throat. "Do ye want more?"

She nodded eagerly this time. "Uh-huh."

"I want to take off yer top."

She was caught off-guard by his request. His outrageous demand was over the top, aware that there's a possibility Willie and Geillis could walk in on them anytime even though she knew they went out for dinner. But still, the whole scenario was turning her on and she felt brazen. "Do it for me, then."

Not saying another word, he unbuttoned her blouse with deft fingers, and the cool air rushed at once over her exposed skin. For her, it felt so outrageously decadent to be sitting in the kitchen, blindfolded and having Jamie feed her. As her mind began to wander and ponder what was going to come next, he took her by surprise when his mouth suddenly clamped on her nipple and started sucking through the lace fabric of her bra, flicking his tongue back and forth. She gasped and automatically arched toward him. Before her hands could grip his shoulders, he was gone, and she was grasping air. Next, she heard a clatter of utensil hitting the countertop, the rustle of paper and Jamie whistling. Each second twisted the tension in her stomach to another knot.

She tried to even out her breaths as she felt him come closer, but he spoke quite calmly. "Ready for yer next bite, Sassenach?"

She nodded.

"Open."

She did and bit down. It was flaky and smelled of the river. There was a hint of teriyaki sauce and spring onion, but it didn't overwhelm the natural flavour of the fish.

"Salmon! Oh ...and it's beautifully cooked."

"Mmm, very good." As she chewed and swallowed, he unhooked her bra, and her breasts spilt free into his waiting hands. The combination of his touch and the lingering flavour of food in her mouth made her shiver. Coasting his finger over her stomach, he traced the waistband of her skirt. "Lift yer hips, Sassenach, this is coming off."

Her inner rational voice wanted to tell him absolutely not, but her body had a mind of its own as her hips lifted to their own accord.

She heard his sharp intake of breath. "Beautiful ...so beautiful. It never stops, does it? The wanting ye?" he whispered as he stroked and caressed her calves and upward, gently parting her legs. She hissed, unable to get a word to pass her mouth. "We have two tastes left. Let's get ye something to wash it down with."

She could only whimper at the loss of his touch as he stood up and made his way back again in the kitchen. A cupboard door slammed, and the sound of liquid being poured into a glass echoed in her ears. "Just a wee sip because it's alcohol. Let me know what ye think."

He cupped her chin and tipped the glass to her lips. The wine trickled down her throat, the scent of blackberries drifting to her nostrils and soaking her mouth. She relished the intense tannins and boldness of flavour. "Red wine. I can taste berries. Cabernet Sauvignon?"

"Aye, it's Cabernet Sauvignon. Pregnancy has definitely heightened yer senses. Have a little more and then that's enough. It's not good for the baby."

As she took another sip, his palm cupped her between her thighs, taking her by surprise.

Her hips shot up, and the wine slid down her throat. "Stunning," Jamie murmured as if she was one of his scientific experiments.

A choked laugh escaped her throat. She thought they had both gone bonkers acting out a foodie sex scene, yet she didn't want him to stop and needed him to finish where he'd taken her. "Stop teasing me, Jamie," she said hoarsely. "I need ..."

"Hush, I ken what ye need, Sassenach. Lift up."

And she did, and he carefully slid down her panties.

She waited for his hands or his mouth, but there was only cold air. "Jamie?"

"Oh, holy Christ!"

 _Oh, holy Christ, what?_ She was confused for a moment and then she remembered the Brazilian wax treatment she had from earlier. All of a sudden, her face heated up and she tried to squeeze her legs together in embarrassment. "I guess I've gone over the top. Y-you don't like it?" she asked stammering.

He didn't answer her question. "Legs apart, Sassenach, I want to see," he demanded in a low voice.

She obeyed, completely helpless, wishing she could see his reaction. There was a long moment of silence. _Jesus, why isn't he saying anything?_

He didn't utter a word, as she felt him move away from her. Every muscle in her body was locked with tension as she waited for him to say something. Anything. Instead, when he came back, his fingers pushed past her lips and laid a sample on her tongue.

 _Chocolate truffle!_ Bittersweet, rich and creamy. The chocolate coated her tongue and melted in her mouth, making her smile. "Oh God! That's lush," she said huskily.

Without warning, the blindfold was suddenly ripped off, his mouth taking hers in an urgent kiss. Then his tongue slid in to taste the residual flavours in Claire's mouth while his fingers slid between her legs.

It didn't take long, and she came hard, bucking against the chair, a dozen sensations pulling her in different directions. Jamie muttered something incoherently, hiked her up against him and stumbled into her bedroom. In a few seconds, he dropped her on the bed and shed his clothes.

She was still shaking from the after-effects of her orgasm when he pushed her knees back and took her in one full, deep thrust. Sweat dripped from his brow as he locked gaze with her. At that moment, her heart burst open, filling her with light and immense love flowing out of her and surrounding them.

"You've always been mine," he whispered.

Her body welcomed him as her inner walls clamped hard around his cock. He took her wildly, and she gave it back to him, with the sting of her nails, with the ragged cries of his name and the thrust of her hips. And when they both exploded together, he wrapped his arms tight around her body, keeping her safe within the circle.

Racked with pleasure, he collapsed on top of her, muttering her name like a litany of prayer and worship.

It took a while before they got their heartbeats and breathing back to normal and reality broke through. Then Claire started to laugh against his chest, and he smiled down at her. "Wow, Jamie, what just happened there?"

"I dinna ken. I did plan on a slow seduction, but after I saw ye bare down there, I just lost it. I kinda feel like a dirty old man liking it, but I must admit, it looks verra pretty. Was I too rough?" he asked, pressing a kiss on her forehead.

She found it endearing how his accent became more pronounced when he was sex-drunk. Smiling, she propped herself on her elbow, her finger tracing the whorl of hair on his chest. "No ...it was everything, Jamie."

"Good. Now that mama is well-fed and satisfied, it's the baby's turn," he laughed, pulling her out of bed.

He was full of surprises of late, and she was only too happy for him to lead. "What did you have in mind?"

Scooping her up in his arms, he bit her earlobe gently. "First shower. Then I'll make us hot cocoa. And how about a film afterwards?"

"Sounds grand to me," she said, wrapping her arms around his neck, as he walked them to the bathroom.

An hour later, they were settled with their mugs of steaming hot cocoa in front of the television. Dressed in his t-shirt, she cuddled next to him under the blanket. 

They were just getting to the exciting part of the film when there was a loud knock on the door, making Claire jump.

She was about to get up when Jamie pulled her back. "I'll get it."

"It could be Geillis and Willie. She sent me a message earlier that she left her keys in her office."

He nodded and made his way to the door. The next consecutive knocks were louder and more urgent. "Coming ..." Jamie's loud voice called out as he hurried, the limp still slightly evident in his stride.

Claire put down the mug on the coffee table and got up from the sofa. She had an unerring instinct it wasn't Geillis knocking on the door.

"Isobel! What are ye doing here?"

It was Geneva's sister looking stressed and worried. "Is Claire here?"

Claire walked up to them, a niggling sensation starting to stir in her belly. She knew the girl, but they had hardly exchanged a full sentence since coming back to Lallybroch. Confused, she wondered why the girl was asking after her. "Isobel, what's the matter?"

Jamie waved Isobel in and closed the door behind her, worry etching his brows. "Is it Donas?"

Isobel shook her head, her eyes filled with panic and dread. "No, no, Donas is fine. I-i-i-it's my sister. She plans to do something terrible. I-i found her diary and a lot of awful things are written about y-you and the things she wants to do. It's so horrible, I c-c-can't even say it, " she stammered, glancing at Claire. "A-and yesterday I found a bottle of sulfuric acid under her bed. At first, I didn't think much about it because my father uses it to clean metals on the farm. B-but earlier I looked it up and found articles about it being used in acid attacks. A-a-and I started to wonder why she had it under her bed."

Jamie ran a hand through his hair, ragged breath whooshing out of him.

Claire suppressed her panic, not wanting to jump to false conclusions. "Isobel, maybe she's just ranting in her diary. There has to be an explanation for the acid under her bed ..." She knew instantly her rationalisation sounded lame the moment it came out of her mouth.

"N-no, she's been obsessing about you ever since her job application at the hotel was turned down by Brian. I c-can't stand back and do nothing ...and ..."

Their conversation was interrupted by another knock on the door, making them all jump.

"It must be Geillis," Claire sighed as she looked at Jamie.

Before Jamie could respond, Isobel turned around and opened the door. Then everything happened in a blur. One minute they were all standing there, expecting Geillis to come in and in the next, Isobel was on the floor howling in pain as she clutched her upper body.

Standing in the doorway was Geneva holding an empty bottle, and her eyes widened in horror as she watched her sister collapsed. "No, no, Isobel ...no, no ...I'm so sorry. Oh my God, what have I done," she cried as she fell to her knees beside her sister.

It must have been adrenaline, fear or her heightened instinct but Claire didn't take any chances as she grabbed a decorative vase on the console table and smashed it on Geneva's head. Numbly, Claire watched her crumple beside her sister as she slowly backed away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, thank you for the overwhelming feedback from the previous chapter. Totally chuffed with the comments, love, kudos and so on. I really thought that there was far too much going on in the last chapter, so I'm glad you liked it.
> 
> I hope you're all keeping safe, healthy and happy despite the unrelenting precautions imposed during the Covid19 lockdown. Hopefully, this nightmare will soon be over but for the meantime, sending you all loads of positive vibes. ❤️❤️❤️


	28. Stags and Hens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously in Obsessions ...
> 
> "N-no, she's been obsessing about you ever since her job application at the hotel was turned down by Brian. I c-can't stand back and do nothing ...and ..."
> 
> Their conversation was interrupted by another knock on the door, making them all jump.
> 
> "It must be Geillis," Claire sighed as she looked at Jamie.
> 
> Before Jamie could respond, Isobel turned around and opened the door. Then everything happened in a blur. One minute they were all standing there, expecting Geillis to come in and in the next, Isobel was on the floor howling in pain as she clutched her upper body.
> 
> Standing in the doorway was Geneva holding an empty bottle, and her eyes widened in horror as she watched her sister collapsed. "No, no, Isobel ...no, no ...I'm so sorry. Oh my God, what have I done," she cried as she fell to her knees beside her sister.
> 
> It must have been adrenaline, fear or her heightened instinct but Claire didn't take any chances as she grabbed a decorative vase on the console table and smashed it on Geneva's head. Numbly, Claire watched her crumple beside her sister as she slowly backed away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wishing you all happy reading! 😘❤️

Claire looked in the mirror. _No freaking way!_

Geillis had lent her a dress that emphasised her burgeoning curves when she would have preferred something loose. Turning sideways, she glanced once more at her reflection. Although she had gained weight and had a slight tummy, she didn't look pregnant at all. _Curvy, yes._ She turned around to check out her behind and admired the snug fit over the swell of her arse. Even her breasts had filled out, and the dress fitted her front in all the right places.

Before her pregnancy, she had always been thin and lanky, and her height had only accentuated her leanness. And now, much to her pleasant surprise, her curves filled the dress quite nicely.

Her hands absentmindedly smoothed the dress down and bit her lip. _What will Jamie think? Is the dress too daring?_

She let out a big sigh and thought about changing, but she realised Geillis wouldn't allow it. She would probably march her right back into her bedroom and wait until she chose another outfit. Might as well embrace the look, she thought. After all, this was her hen night.

The printed black minidress barely skimmed the top of her knees, and the black suede knee-high boots boasted chunky heels making her even taller. The scooped neckline exposed an ample amount of cleavage, revealing plenty of creamy white skin. Completing the look, she donned on a leather jacket to give the whole outfit a less formal appearance. 

She squinted at her face. Mascara darkened her lashes, the blush highlighted her cheekbones and the red lipstick brought out the paleness of her skin and the honey gold of her eyes. Usually tied up in a bun, she left her curls loose. _Not bad, Beauchamp!_

Claire was determined to enjoy her bachelorette night and put the incident with Geneva behind her. The episode of that fateful night had definitely scarred her for life. But not quite as much as what Isobel had to endure. Earlier, she had paid her a visit at the hospital. Horrified at the damage that was inflicted on her skin, Claire had almost cancelled her wedding to Jamie. However, she made a promise to Isobel.

_"Don't let my sister win, Claire. If you cancel your wedding because of what happened to me, then you're helping Geneva achieve her goal by disrupting your life. She may be locked up in jail, but she can still hold power over you if you allow it. Go ahead with the wedding and don't allow what I tried to stop from happening to be in vain. Promise me, Claire."_

And so Claire promised. If Isobel was brave enough to face what was coming ahead of her, then she too will dig deep and find that courage.

Loud voices caught her attention and brought her back to the present. Taking a deep breath, Claire grabbed her clutch and came out of her bedroom. Three pair of eyes settled on her as soon as she walked into the living space.

Geillis let out a high-pitched squeal and clapped. "Oh, Claire, that dress is perfect! Ye have some killer curves on ye. I knew it would suit ye. What do ye think, lads?"

Feeling conscious, Claire tugged the edge of her jacket. "Thank you. The material feels lovely, and I wasn't so sure if I could pull it off."

"Ach, ye dinna ken how to buy a dress in yer size. Ye always buy a size too big. It's yers now. That dress is more for a leggy person like ye."

Willie smiled and kissed her on the forehead. "Ye look fabulous, Claire. I hope ye girls have fun tonight."

"Thanks, Willie. And you too."

She waited for Jamie's response, but his face remained inscrutable. Holding her breath, she watched him approach and slid his hands underneath her jacket to pull her against him. Careful not to ruin her makeup, he gave a feather-light kiss on her cheek. "Ye look stunning, Sassenach," he whispered, for her ears only. "I feel like saying, zip up this jacket because yer tits are quite an eyeful. Instead, I'm going to be an understanding fiance, suck it up like a good man and wish ye a fun-filled hen party." And then he turned his head towards Geillis. "...and hopefully, not too rowdy. She's pregnant, mind?" he said in a louder voice.

She tried her best to suppress her amusement. Cupping Jamie's face with both hands, he turned his face towards her. "Well, Mr Fraser, I wish you a lovely evening too. I heard the lads in the kitchen arranged ...uhm, let say an interesting stag-do for you. Something that involves ... a dancer?"

Jamie groaned as he ran a hand through his hair. "I have no idea about a dancer, I swear. To be honest, I'd rather skip this part and have a quiet evening with ye ..."

"Oh no, ye don't," Geillis disagreed, seizing Claire's hand before Jamie could give her any ideas. "Ye have a lifetime ahead of ye to spend time together. I'm not lettin' ye take this away from me."

Willie laughed out loud. "Come on, Jamie. We best get going. The cab is waiting for us outside."

A loud beeping echoed down the street. 

"That's our ride, princess," Geillis announced, tugging Claire's hand once more.

"Oh by the way, where are ye going?" Jamie called out to their retreating backs.

"None of yer business! This is Claire's evening and nae lads allowed. Ye have yer own evening to worry about. See ye later and don't wait up for us!"

As the girls stepped outside, a white stretched limousine was already in the driveway with a bunch of giggly, happy women waving through the tinted windows. On the other side of the street were two cabs waiting for Jamie and Willie.

A tingle of exhilaration shimmered down Claire's spine. Ignoring the howls and whistles from Jamie's friends in the other vehicles, they climbed into their limo. Scents of mingled perfume, alcohol and feminine excitement floated in the air. Jenny, Louise and three other friends from her college were dressed to impress, and they each had a plastic flute of champagne. Claire wished she could have a drink. Instead, she grabbed a bottle of water Geillis offered to her.

Drinks flowed, and gossips were exchanged as they were driven to their destination. After eating and partying at a Cabaret show, they piled back in the limo and hit a gay strip bar where they danced and partied some more. Although Claire couldn't join in the girls' drinking fest, she had a great time.

Their last stop was their village pub which was walking distance from their house. As they went in, they were quickly ushered to the backroom. The place was bursting to the seams, and the music blared loudly from the speakers. Claire's friends were already half-way drunk, and they were soon joined by more females from the hotel who just got off work to celebrate with them.

Geillis bumped into her, spilling some of her drink. "Are ye ready for the main event? Louise arranged it."

"I know it's a male stripper. I overheard the plan," Claire cringed. "I don't want a naked man pawing me. As my best friend and maid of honour, you need to step up and be my wingman."

"Wing woman ye mean," Geillis hiccuped, as she took a sip of her cocktail. "Mmmm, this is so good and extra fruity. So ye overheard the plan, aye?"

Claire motioned to the chair in the middle of the room. "Well, a pretend cop is supposed to come in and tell us off for being boisterous, and then drags me to that chair so he can writhe all over me. Not my idea of fun!"

"Sounds like a solid plan to me."

Claire glared, but the effect was lost when Geillis slurped her drink. "I need you to take the hit for me. When the stripper comes in, you take my place. Please!"

Another hiccup. "I don't look like ye though," Geillis pointed out.

"It doesn't matter. Everyone's drunk. No one will notice. The girls just want to see a naked body."

"Aye, about that. Ye invited all the female staff from the hotel. Of course, they'll want to see a naked body."

Claire grinned. "Well, they missed out on the fun because they had to work. So I guess the stripper is the next best thing. So, are you going to do it? Take my place?"

"Hell no! In as much as I would love to have a hot body gyrating in front of me, Louise will kill me if I took yer place. This is her gift for ye. I'm not going to be the one to spoil her pressie."

"Damn it! I wish I could drink to numb my brain. Fine! I'll do it, but it doesn't mean I have to enjoy it."

Geillis pressed a noisy kiss on her cheek. "Dinna fash, lass. It will be a bloody laugh. Oh, here, ye'll need a lot of these." Her friend stuffed a handful of pound notes into her fist.

"Yay, me. I finally get to stick money in a bloke's G-string. I can tick off an item from my bucket list," she muttered sarcastically.

Geillis gave her a sympathetic look. "This one is for ye. Have a drink," she said, handing her cocktail from a nearby bar table. "I ordered it. It's a Virgin Colada. I promised Jamie no alcohol will touch yer lips, but this is yummy."

Claire smiled and softened up as she took a sip from her non-alcoholic beverage. "Sorry for sounding ungrateful and being a grump about the stripper. You girls have pulled off a fabulous party for me, and I appreciate it."

Geillis quickly hugged her before raising her glass. "Ach, it's nae bother. What are friends for. Here's to friendship!"

"Friends forever!"

Their glasses clinked and tipped over, and a third of their drinks spilt on the floor. They looked at each other and burst into giggles before they heard a loud shriek coming from Louise. 

"What!?! What do you mean the stripper isn't coming?"

..........

Jamie, Willie and their friends entered their local village pub. They have been bar-hopping in the neighbouring towns all evening, drinking, and playing pool and darts. Since they all lived nearby, they had decided to stop by for one last drink before heading home. The place was packed and loud as expected of a Bank Holiday weekend. 

Although he had wanted a more subdued bachelor's party, it felt great to hang out with his brother and closest male acquaintances. The only time their party became rowdy was when Jamie was presented with a lap dancer at one of the bars. With phone cameras readily accessible and thinking of how it would look like in the social media, he waivered his right as the man of the hour to his friend, Rupert, who was only too happy to oblige. The last thing he needed was a picture of him in an uncompromising situation. 

At the bar, Willie ordered a round of pints and shots for the stag party. Jamie was about to reach for his drink when screams ran through the pub, making everyone crane their necks to look at the commotion. The backroom, usually used for private parties, was lively. Music blared, and he caught a swarm of short skirts, swishing hair and loud revelry.

"Bloody hen party. They're all from yer hotel," the bartender explained as if reading his thoughts. "One of the lasses ordered a male stripper, but I just got a phone call from the lad saying he cannae make it. He came down with the flu or something. I just told one of them, and she wasn't too pleased. When they all hear about it, I'm dead meat. It's all paid for."

A grin tugged at Willie's lips as he looked at Jamie. "Ach, our hens are in there. I remember Geillis saying something about Louise ordering a stripper. Do ye think Claire will be disappointed?" 

Before he could reply, a resounding slap hit him on the back. "Weel, Jamie lad, perhaps she'll be disappointed or maybe not. How about giving those lasses something to remember, aye?" Murtagh sallied. "Do a striptease for yer bride. It'll be a story worth telling yer future grandchildren one day."

"If ye're not up for it, I wouldn't mind doing it," Rupert interrupted, joining in the banter and shaking his hips.

Something wicked lit up in him. Inebriated and feeling bold, he playfully shoved his mate on the shoulder. "Aye, that'll be right! No fucking way are ye going anywhere near my Claire. I'm doing it."

Everyone in their party hooted and chanted his name.

"Get in there lad and claim yer bride!"

"Aw, c'mon, Fraser. In a couple of days, she's all yers. I just want to show the lass what she'll be missing once ye're both hitched," Rupert whined, feigning disappointment.

Jamie drained his beer and signalled for another round. "I got this pal. Go get yersel' yer own bride," he grinned, shrugging off his jacket.

"Hey, I have the lad's costume here at the back if ye're doing it. He's about yer size so ye'll have no trouble fitting in it. There's also a wig and a pair of aviator's glasses," the bartender offered, pointing his thumb over his shoulder.

Jamie nodded and made his way to the room behind the bar. It didn't take long before he was kitted into a snug-fitting, fake police uniform. Glancing at the small mirror, he was thrilled at how the black wig, cap and the aviator's glasses concealed his identity nicely. It was a good thing he had shaved off his beard as it would have ruined his disguise. Satisfied, he went back to his friends and was greeted with howls of laughter and cheers. After drinking a couple of shots of whisky, the stag party, led by Jamie, made their way to the back room.

Jamie reached the door, and a petite brunette stumbled out on teetering heels and ran into his chest. He caught her on time. She was one of the staff from the restaurant in their hotel. Her blue eyes sparkled and widened at the sight of him, but there was no trace of recognition. "Ladies!" she screeched as a round of giggles floated past. "Get the music ready!" 

Someone grabbed his hand and led him into the room.

He frowned, alcohol dulling his brain for a moment. Then he remembered why he was there. He looked around and found himself in a snake pit. His brother and friends had disappeared into the dark corners, and he was surrounded by women.

There were lots and lots of women, and most of them he knew, but no one recognised him, most probably because of their intoxicated state. They stared at him like he was a feast served on a silver platter. The group started to scream and stamp their heels on the floor.

"He's here!" Louise yelled. "Get ready for an arrest, ladies!"

A lone chair stood in the centre of the circle under the bright light. Suddenly, Joe Cocker's _You Can Leave Your Hat On_ blared through the speakers. _Aaah, shite, what have I gotten myself into?_

"Take it off, lad!"

"I'm breaking the law, darling, come on over here!"

Louise giggled and crooked her finger. "I've been awfully bad, officer. And I'm concealing a deadly weapon. Come frisk me!" He nearly ran out of the room when she began to jiggle her breasts at him.

He was drunk, and the women were even more so. He didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Jamie was about to turn around and end the charade when Geillis shook her head in annoyance and yanked his arm. She seemed irritated by his inaction. Obviously, she too was too drunk to recognise him.

"Listen, pal. My mates and I paid good money for ye," she whispered venomously. "Ye look good enough to eat but don't just stand there. Give us a show. We won't bite."

_Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck!_ "Listen, this is a mistake," Jamie started. 

Geillis rolled her eyes. "Ach, for crying out loud. Just take yer shirt off, dance a bit and arrest someone. I promise I'll tip ye extra. Oh, curly tops Claire is the bride, she is hiding over there." She pointed her finger at her friend, squashed between two other girls with a scared look at her face. _Aah, Sassenach!_

"She doesn't look interested," he said. "Maybe getting her a stripper wasn't such a bright idea, huh?"

Geillis glowered at him. "For fuck sake, I'm sorry if ye're suddenly shy and want to retreat, but ye're here now. Just take some clothes off, shimmy yer hips and make the lassies happy. Deal?" He was about to open his mouth to tell her there won't be any clothes taken off, but she clapped her hands. "Alright, ladies, our hot copper is ready. Claire, get yer arse on the chair."

The group screamed and whistled and stamped their feet. Pound notes waved madly in the air. Women danced provocatively to the beat, waiting for him to start stripping.

He turned his attention to Claire and watched her walk to the centre. She weaved her way through screaming women, and instead of sitting on the chair, she positioned herself right in front of him. He wondered if she would see through his disguise since she was the only sober person in the room.

Without the leather jacket, her dress clung to her curves like a second skin, and her front showed far too much cleavage. As enticing as she looked, Jamie was glad the stripper didn't come and that his friends were in the far end of the room. With her long legs clad in knee-high boots, her hair all loose, and pouty lips painted red, his future wife looked sexy as hell. She was all tits, legs and curves.

Ignoring the noise and urging of the crowd, he stared helplessly at her, completely intoxicated, besotted and aroused all at the same time.

Her teeth pulled at her lower lip, and she frowned. "Jamie?"

He let out a sigh of relief. "Sssh, the lassies don't know it's me. I was told at the bar the stripper couldn't come, so I took his place. I ken it's a stupid drunken idea..."

A giggle escaped her lips. "Louise hired a cop stripper. I begged Geillis to take my place, but she wouldn't have any of it." Her head tipped up and down to look at him. "I'm glad now she didn't take my place. That uniform looks incredibly hot on you, and I'm afraid you do look like a stripper."

He moved closer. "You think?"

"Yes."

The women roared their frustration, chanting for him to strip.

"What should I do?"

"I can see you brought the stag party with you. Why not give them a show," Claire replied, looking over his shoulder.

Surprised at her bold request, he grinned. "Be careful what you wish for, Sassenach," he warned in a low voice.

Claire took a step forward to nip at his earlobe, her breath rushing in his ear. "So I've been told often enough." Pulling away, she arched an eyebrow and smiled at him. "Well? Are you putting on a show for the bride-to-be? Or are you chickening out?" 

He didn't know if it was the alcohol or her teasing that pushed him. Without warning, he tossed her over his shoulder and deposited her right on the chair, making her squeal.

The women screamed in delight and the men at the back wolf-whistled. The music rolled out its slow rhythm, but he refused to dance. Instead, his fingers paused at the top of his shirt, stroking slow. As the screams of the crowd got louder, he flicked the button open, making Claire's eyes widened in shock, her lips forming an O shape.

He repeated the motion with the second button, and pound notes started flying through the air and chants of "take it off" vibrated the room. He took no notice of the frenzy and focused intently only on her.

He watched her gaze follow the motions of his hand, her cheeks flushing profusely and her mouth opening and closing as if wanting to say something, but no words came out. "Do ye want me to continue, Sassenach?" 

Even with the deafening noise, she heard him clearly. "Yes," she nodded, looking like she was in a trance.

With slow, deliberate motions, he finished unbuttoning his shirt and slowly parted the material.

The crowd went wild. 

The fact Claire's friends didn't recognise him, emboldened him further. He leaned down and braced his hands on both sides of her chair. "They want more," he said. "Do ye want more?"

She stared into his eyes before answering. "Yes."

Reaching over to pull her to her feet, he grabbed her hands and pressed them to his chest. "Do it for me then, Sassenach." 

In his periphery, he saw Laoghaire taking photos. _What is she doing here? This was a private party._ Then he realised she thought he was just a hired stripper. 

Refocusing on Claire, he felt her hands stroke his abdomen. Her name was chanted in unison, commanding her to take it all off for him. Her fingers traced the edge of his belt buckle, and then she paused. Their gazes locked. "No." Her voice broke. He caught a glimpse of raw possessiveness in her eyes. "I don't want anyone else to see you."

He muttered a vicious curse. "Good because I've had enough of this. I just want to take ye home."

"What are you waiting for? Take me home then, Jamie."

He quickly refastened the buttons on his shirt as loud boos filled the air. Beyond caring, he gathered Claire in his arms and kissed her thoroughly, and when she twined her arms around his neck and kissed him back, he heard the loud gasps of her friends' shock and whistles from the stag group. And more picture snaps from Laoghaire. 

"Claire!" Geillis shouted in disbelief. She tried to stop Laoghaire from taking more photos, thinking her friend was kissing a stranger. But Claire wasn't listening.

"Home it is then. Hang on tight, Sassenach, we'll make this an exit they'll never forget," he said against her lips. When she nodded, he lifted her up, and she held on burrowing her face against his neck.

"Hey, stop! Ye cannae take the bride. Ye're supposed to strip and not haul her like a caveman."

"Too bad. I'm stealing the bride!" Jamie yelled as he fought his way through a crowd of tipsy and bewildered women.

"Stop him!" someone shouted.

He was about to reach for the door when Jenny jumped and blocked their exit. Her cheeks were red and flushed, and her eyes had a determined look. She waved an empty bottle of wine in the air in a threatening manner. "Listen, ye moron. Ye put my sister-in-law down slowly and carefully, and no one will get hurt," she cautioned, in a slurred voice.

"Jenny!" Claire blurted.

"It's alright Claire bear, I got this," Jenny said, swinging her weapon at Jamie. She took a step forward, stopped and blinked. "Huh? Jamie?"

"Aye, it's me," Jamie hissed impatiently. "Can't ye recognise yer own flesh and blood?"

"What the hell!?! It's that bloody wig and those ridiculous glasses! What are ye doing here?"

"Out of the way, we're going," Jamie muttered. He made a move to go past Jenny, but Laoghaire blocked their path and took another picture of them.

"Wait till Jamie sees what ye've been up to," Laoghaire sneered at Claire, waving her phone in one hand.

Jamie was slowly losing patience. He gently put Claire down and confronted the blond girl. "Aye, I ken fine what Claire's been up to," he snapped, wrenching the aviators and plucking the cap and wig from his head and throwing them on the floor. "And ye shouldn't be here. This is a private party, and I don't think ye're invited. Now leave and do something good in yer life for once." 

He felt Claire tugging his arm, but he waited until an embarrassed and speechless Laoghaire was led out of the room by one of his friends, not trusting her to turn his back. When she was finally gone, the whole place erupted in cheers and whistles.

"Jesus, Jamie, all these crazy girls coming out of the woodwork. Do you think we'll ever make it to our wedding without another girl popping up to tear us apart?" Claire asked in exasperation.

Annoyance surged, but he quickly tamped it down. It wasn't his fault, and neither was it Claire's. If he had his way, they would have been married weeks ago and skipped all the frippery that entailed the wedding. He closed the distance between them and pulled her against him. "I know, Sassenach and I'm so sorry. Sometimes grief is a price we pay for love. In the end, we're both stronger because of it."

"I know. And I'm sorry too. I don't have doubts about us. I just don't like people getting hurt." She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him on the lips. "Shall we go? I would like a continuation of that striptease," she teased, trying to lighten the moment. 

Her suggestion made his stomach clench. "Now we're talking," he said in a low voice, a half-smirk tugging at his lips.

Willie slapped him on the back. "Get a room both of ye! Go now, before the mob forces ye to stay," he joked, pulling a tipsy Geillis to his side.

"Aye, go and sorry ...but not sorry for forcing ye to strip," Geillis winked. "Now that everyone knows that it's you, they're even more disappointed that the show is over."

Rupert joined in, followed by a waiter with a tray of drinks. "I hope the party is not over. I just ordered drinks for everyone."

Jamie jerked his thumb towards the group of girls. "I warmed them up. They're all yers now. Claire and I are going." He touched Claire's belly and grinned. "Ye lot are too rowdy for the baby. See ye when I see ye."

Without a backward glance, he led Claire out of the pub, and they walked home hand in hand. Once in the house, they had a little party of their own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey readers, how are you all doing? As the lockdown continues, I hope you're keeping safe and healthy. I have been busy these last few days with household chores and minor illness in the family but otherwise, all is well. Thank you for your feedback from the previous chapter and I hope you've enjoyed my latest update. Your comments and kudos mean a lot and I read and reread them for inspiration and motivation. Sending you all positive vibes in these trying times.


	29. Before We Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously in Stags and Hens...
> 
> Willie slapped him on the back. "Get a room both of ye! Go now, before the mob forces ye to stay," he joked, pulling a tipsy Geillis to his side.
> 
> "Aye, go and sorry ...but not sorry for forcing ye to strip," Geillis winked. "Now that everyone knows that it's you, they're even more disappointed that the show is over."
> 
> Rupert joined in, followed by a waiter with a tray of drinks. "I hope the party is not over. I just ordered drinks for everyone."
> 
> Jamie jerked his thumb towards the group of girls. "I warmed them up. They're all yers now. Claire and I are going." He touched Claire's belly and grinned. "Ye lot are too rowdy for the baby. See ye when I see ye."
> 
> Without a backward glance, he led Claire out of the pub, and they walked home hand in hand. Once in the house, they had a little party of their own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wishing you happy reading! 😘❤️

_"if anyone can show just cause why this couple cannot lawfully be joined together in holy matrimony, let them speak now or forever hold their peace."_

_Jamie's gaze swept over their families and friends sitting on the benches. The church was small and intimate, with high ceilings and ornate stained-glass windows. The lilies were creamy white, and the faint scent of incense hung in the air. And Claire looked beautiful, from the flowing trail of her sheer lace veil to the elaborate pearl-encrusted train. She gazed at him with evident love, her beaming face a reminder of why he had fallen in love with her all those years ago._

_And then the unforeseen happened._

_"I object," a deep male's voice reverberated._

_Loud gasps of shock permeated the air, and Claire spun around, her eyes filled with disbelief._

What the fuck?

_Dressed in a sharp black suit, Frank stood up, arms extended as if in a last-minute plea. "Claire, I tried to move on, but you're the only one I've ever loved. I can't let you marry Jamie if there's still a chance for us."_

_For one endless, horrifying moment, everything went dead quiet. Jamie froze, his mind unable to compute the disaster unfolding before his very eyes._

_Claire's face looked unsure as her gaze flicked from Jamie to Frank and then back to him again. "I'm so sorry, Jamie. It's always been Frank all along."_

_Another gasp from the crowd. The priest's jaw fell. Jamie watched in a daze as Claire dropped her bouquet of flowers and took a step back away from him._

_"Claire?" he whispered, swallowing past the panic that threatened to choke him. "Why are ye doing this?"_

_Claire just shook her head, lifted the skirt of her dress and ran towards the door._

_He stood frozen on the spot, unable to move or utter a word as he watched helplessly the love of his life run away from him._

_The door of the church slammed shut._

Jamie shot up, the scream trapped in his lungs. Sweat ran down his body, and his heart hammered painfully against his ribcage. In a state of haze and panic, he reached out for Claire, but she was gone. Grasping for something to ground him, he grabbed her pillow and clutched it against him. It was still warm from use. He dragged in a breath, drawing in as much of her essence as he could to calm his pounding heart. 

Finally, fully awake, he got up and swung his legs onto the side of his bed. Leaning over, he placed his hands on his knees and calmed himself. He heard Claire's voice in his head. _Long, slow breath through your nose, hold ... and count to three ... and exhale ... and relax._ And he did just that. 

It had been a while since he had nightmares and all had been of the shooting incident with Annalise. The bad dreams had stopped ever since he and Claire got back together. Sifting through his alcohol addled brain, memories of the night before came rushing in. There were snippets of his stag party, and then there were fragments of Claire's friends urging him to strip. The most vivid recollection of them all was Claire's impatience to get him out of his clothes once they were alone in the house. The thought of it flushed out the lingering bitter taste of the nightmare and replaced it with longing and anticipation.

It was their wedding day tomorrow and remembered he wouldn't see her until then. She was somewhere in some undisclosed location with Geillis, Lousie and Jenny. They were being prepared and pampered for the big day. He wished she had woken him up before leaving.

Pinning his bad dream to wedding jitters, Jamie quickly showered, dressed and made his way to the kitchen. He found Willie multitasking, pouring coffee into a mug, sifting through unopened mails with a phone tucked beneath his ear. A rapid stream of promises and assurances flew through the air. "Aye, dinna fash. Everything is in order, and we have the kilts ready." Pause. "Aye, we won't be late, and we'll be sober. Alright, I'll see ye tomorrow. Have fun." He put the phone down and let out a huge sigh. As soon as he saw his brother, he rolled his eyes. "Women think we can't function without them."

Jamie smiled and grabbed a coffee. "And yet, almost every day, we're relegated to the kitchen just because we're cooks."

Willie shook his head, poured them both a Bloody Mary from a pitcher and slid one over to him. "Drink. Just a wee hair of the dog to get ye going today. So, does Claire nag often?"

He choked out a laugh. "Is being ordered about the same as nagging?"

His brother's lips curved in a knowing grin. "Aye, definitely, but I ken ye wouldn't want Claire any other way. Oh, by the way, did ye have another one of those nightmares? I thought ye stopped having them."

Jamie stared. "How did ye know?"

Willie sipped his concoction. "I heard ye shout. Are ye still having bad dreams about the shooting?"

Jamie shook his head. "It wasn't the shooting. I dreamt Claire left me at the altar because of Frank."

"Really?" He braced both hands on the countertop and let out a whistle. "Frank, yer mate back in high school? A bit odd to be having a nightmare about him. The shooting I can understand. That was traumatic. I still have bad dreams about it too. But Frank?"

Jamie sat on the stool and massaged his throbbing thigh. "Claire was infatuated with him almost all her life."

"Ach, _bràthair,_ are ye still bothered about that? Surely not."

He winced, feeling slightly embarrassed, but he forced the words out. "It's not about Frank. It's what he represents. Successful, a decent bloke even if he was a dickhead back then and he's making loads of money. I hope I'll be enough for Claire."

Willie nodded, lapsing into a thoughtful silence. "Ye will always be more than enough, Jamie. Ye and Claire share an incredible gift. There's a bond between the two of ye that is quite extraordinary and undeniable. Ye ken well, sometimes the mysteries of attraction cannot be explained through logic." He paused, trying to find the right words. "What I'm trying to say is, ye are both incomplete without the other. I dinna ken how else to explain it, but maybe, just maybe, it's the faults and cracks in yer personalities and hearts that become the very hinges that hold ye together. I dinna ken. But whatever it is that is between the two of ye, there's nothing in this world that could compete with the kind of connection ye both have. Ye and Claire are meant to be, that's all ye ever need to know. And that is more than enough." His answer was full of conviction and surety, it almost made Jamie choke with emotion.

"And ye loved her too," Jamie whispered.

Willie reached out and playfully ruffled his hair. "Aye, I did. Anyone in their right mind would love Claire. And I will never stop caring for her, Jamie ...as a brother."

"And ye? Are ye happy with Geillis?"

He slipped both his hands in jeans' pocket and smiled. "Geillis is a handful, but, aye I am very happy. We do argue a lot, though. Perhaps it's because of our age difference, our stubbornness ...I dinna ken. But one thing for sure ... she does keep me on my toes. And I must admit, making up after a fight is the best part," he admitted, winking mischievously.

This time Jamie laughed, a weight lifting off his shoulders. It was not often the brothers talked at a deeper emotional level, and it felt great. And he knew from then on, something shifted between them. "That's good. I want ye to have what I have, Willie ...and that's happiness."

An uncomfortable silence lapsed.

"Stop! Ye're getting all soft on me, wee _bràthair!"_ Willie joked, shoving him lightly on the shoulder and pushing the Bloody Mary in his hand. "Drink up, ma is expecting us for brunch. She might need a bit of help. Mind, Jenny is away with the bridal party."

Jamie was about to grab his drink when his phone vibrated. He glanced at the ID. "It's Claire..."

"Alright. I'll leave ye to it. I'll put our kilts in the car."

Jamie nodded and clicked on the phone. "Hey, ye didn't wake me up before ye left," he scolded gently, tidying up the countertop and putting empty cups into the sink. He could hear music and giggles in the background.

"I know, I'm sorry, but ye had a lot to drink last night. You needed your sleep." 

Images of last night's escapade after coming home from the pub flashed in his head. "Weel, ye didn't seem to think I needed sleep then. Ye couldn't wait to take my trousers off," he teased. He was quite sure she was blushing and wished he could see her face. "If I'd known striptease turns ye on, I would've done it sooner. Yer hands were all over me."

"Aww, was I too rough on you?" she asked in a husky voice. Jamie caught the amusement in her tone. Oh, she was bold when there was a distance between them. 

"Sassenach?"

"Hmmm?"

"Christ, I want ye now, and ye're teasing me. Ye think ye can go in a bathroom or something ...away from the lassies? Facetime maybe?" He craned his neck to see where Willie was. Looking through the window, he saw his brother was on the phone. 

"Jamie! You just have to wait until our wedding night," she admonished, pretending to sound shocked. He could tell she was turned on by his suggestion as he was. 

But then he saw Willie making his way back to the house. "Fine, I'll let ye go. But I promise ye there will be retribution for leaving without saying goodbye this morning."

She giggled. "Enjoy your brunch and tell ma and da I love them." He heard Louise in the background calling out to Claire to try her wedding undergarments on. He groaned.

"Will do," he replied, tamping down his frustration.

"And Jamie?"

"Aye?"

"I love you, and I can't wait to be your wife."

"I love ye too, Sassenach. Now go before I use the location app on yer phone to find ye." She heard her laugh before the phone went off. Shoving the phone on the back pocket of his jeans, he smiled and tried to shift his thoughts to puppies and nuns, instead of thinking of Claire. He sighed, and he knew it was going to be a very long day, indeed.

..........

Brunch was perfection. Jamie, Willie, Ian, his parents and Murtagh, feasted on Eggs Benedict, waffles and fruit salad. After their meal, Jamie stayed behind to help his mother clear up while the rest went fishing. 

Once all the dishes and cutleries were put away, Ellen made coffee, and Jamie settled back on the wooden chair, waiting for his mother to join him.

"Ma, did ye ever think you'd fail when ye first started the hotel?" he asked. "It was a lot to take on while running a household and raising four bairns."

Ellen smiled and sat next to him. "Of course I did. And I was scared, but I had yer da at my side. There is no shame in hard work or failure. Only in not trying."

He took a sip of his coffee. "I ken the hotel was da's dream. But ye ...ye always wanted to be an artist. I've seen yer paintings from when ye were young."

"Ah, that is true, son. It was difficult to give that part of myself up. But it wasn't only me who had to make sacrifices. Yer da had sacrifices of his own. We took it upon ourselves to run a hotel and never looked back. We had a few regrets and heartaches along the way, but our path has led us to three wonderful children and Claire. We never realise at the moment what our futures hold, but sometimes we must go on a leap of faith."

He sifted through her words, thinking of Claire being orphaned at such a young age. Fate had brought her to Lallybroch and to him. It was easier said than done to believe each moment, good and bad, has a purpose.

"Do ye remember what I told Claire the first time she asked about her real parents? She was about ten years old, I think," Ellen asked as if reading his thoughts.

Jamie blinked. It was the day Claire came home from school, looking sad. It was also around the time when her uncle Lamb recently died. She had come to him asking if her parents were really dead or if they've abandoned her in Scotland. It was apparent the bullies in school had given her the idea. "Aye, of course, I remember. You explained to her what really happened. And she asked ye if she was worthy of love because she felt abandoned and the kids in school were constantly mean to her. And you told her she was loved and had worth, and one day she'd see it."

She smiled at him. "Aye. And do ye remember the last thing I said?"

He played back the conversation in his memory. "Ye told Claire she was searching for something and that one day she'd find it. But she'd need to be brave enough to think she deserved it."

"Aye, that's right, my sweet darling boy. And that applies to ye too. All the hurt, losses and disappointments are part of who we are. The setbacks need not take over, and being brave does not mean the absence of fear. Loving someone and letting someone love ye is the hardest and most courageous thing ye will ever do. It's all about the choices ye make. Just like the choice Claire made in life. She could have chosen to cower in the corner and wallow in self-pity after what life had handed her. But no. She chose to fight, to love and to pursue happiness despite all odds because she believed, that she too is deserving and worthy. And ye need to believe that ye are worthy too."

He shifted in his chair. "It has always been Claire for me. Although, in the beginning, she only saw me as a big brother and as a friend."

Ellen threw her head back and laughed. "That's what ye thought. I've seen the way she looked at ye when ye weren't looking. But it was a good thing ye both didn't know what ye felt for each other back then. Otherwise, there would have been problems, especially living under the same roof."

"Aye, ye're probably right ...we were too young. I just want to make Claire happy, ma. She's been through a lot. I must have done something right to be deserving of her."

Ellen's smile was pure joy and pride. She reached out, twining her strong fingers with his. "Ach, lad, ye have the wisdom and gentleness that humbles me. Mind, ye've been through a lot too. I've watched ye grow up into a man I'm proud of, and ye are most certainly deserving of her as she is of ye. Ye've seen her at her worse and yet ye love her. Ye are Claire's other half, and she adores ye. I've always known that fact deep in my soul. Ye've continuously had each other's back and nae matter what life threw at ye, ye eventually found yer way back to one another. It only made sense that ye both fell in love."

Jamie stared at his mother. Her voice echoed to a place inside his soul, back to a time when he almost gave up on Claire and himself. But then another image took hold, one of Claire's face, open and laughing, her eyes full of love as she kissed him, held him and showed him everything was possible.

An odd nudge stirred in his heart. "What if I fail, ma?"

Her hand squeezed his harder, and she looked at him with tenderness. "Ach, there will be times when ye will fail, I will not lie. And when that happens, ye get up and try again. The prospect of joy and disaster is part of the package when ye love someone. Marriage will not be a walk in the park, mark my words. There will be sacrifices, heartaches and loss, but there will also be rewards that will make it all worth it. With Claire by yer side, ye will find the strength. I know because I raised her like my own. And that lass is a fighter. And I ken she will keep ye right."

The emotions snuck from the pit of his gut, took root and began to bloom. "Thank ye, ma."

Ellen stood up, took him in her arms and held him tight for a very long time. "Dinna fash, lad. Ye are more than enough for Claire," she whispered, stroking his hair.

..........

"Claire? They're ready."

She turned and smiled at Jenny, Geillis and Louise. They seemed to have forgotten to breathe as they stared at her in awe. "How do I look?"

Jenny shook her head, tears pricking her eyes. "So bonnie, I cannae even talk. And here I thought I was going to be the first to get married."

Claire's hair was twisted up into a spill of elegant curls, the veil cascading past her shoulders, highlighting the clean, sleek lines of the dress. Just like her, the bridal gown was classic, with its fitted bodice and a crisscross of shimmering pearls cinching the waist, then falling smoothly to the floor in sheer chiffon. Her simple heels added to her graceful stature. She held a small bouquet of forget-me-not and lily-of-the-valley, mixed with greens and tied in a rustic style.

Geillis sniffed. "Aye so very bonnie indeed that our wee fox cub will try to rush ye through the reception. But we won't let him." With her warm shade of burnished copper hair done up in French twist and pale skin, the soft blue tulle bridesmaid dress looked perfect. The girls had been excited about the dresses from the moment Jenny had shown a drawing sample. With a flattering V-neck, the dusty blue chiffon held a top layer of silver shimmer to make them look as if they were lit up.

Louise fanned her hand in front of her face. "Aww you're going to make me cry, and I don't want to ruin my make up."

Claire laughed. "Oh, look at all of you. So, so beautiful. Thank you so much for everything. I know I wanted a simple wedding, but you lot made everything extra special. I love you all so much. How do I get to be so blessed?" They all gathered around her for air kisses and quick hugs. Steadying herself, she drew in a deep breath. "Please, tell da, I'm ready."

Brian stepped in. "I'm here, sweetheart." 

Jenny gave a long sigh as she looked at her father. "Ach da, ye scrub up well, and ye look dashing." Then she turned to Claire. "We'll wait outside. I'll check and make sure everyone's in place. That should give both of ye a few minutes before the ceremony."

She nodded to the girls who left the room giggling. Then she faced the man who had been a father to her for most of her life.

"Da! I'm getting married!" Emotion struck her hard. She gazed at him, dressed in full glory and her throat tightened. He wore a traditional kilt paired with a Prince Charlie jacket, waistcoat and blue-grey ruche tie. The Hunting Clan Fraser tartan was in hues of blue, red and green and was accessorised with the customary sporran, black kilt hose and polished, black brogue shoes. He was as tall as his sons, and he looked handsome and distinguished with his thick dark hair peppered with gunmetal grey and piercing blue eyes.

" _Mo nighean,_ ye look like a princess," he said gruffly, taking her hand to kiss it. "Yer parents and uncle Lamb would be so proud."

She smiled, tears threatening to spill. "I wish they were here, da."

"I know, sweetheart, but believe me when I say, yer parents are here. How do I know? I know because ye exist," he said, touching her cheek tenderly. "And even if ye weren't marrying Jamie and even though ye are not my flesh and blood, ye were and always will be the daughter of my heart. And I couldn't be happier now that ye will carry our family name."

Childhood memories in Lallybroch flickered before her, of all of them laughing as they gathered in the kitchen. In the confines of the Fraser home, she was loved and cherished, and she belonged. "I love you, da," she said. They were the only words she could utter as emotions threatened to overwhelm.

"And I love ye, Claire," Brian replied. "I have loved ye every day of your life ever since I laid eyes upon ye. I will love ye for every day of mine and more."

She was about to say more, but Geillis peeked at the door and smiled.

"It's time."

Brian met her gaze and smiled. "Come now, sweetheart, let's get ye married. We don't want to keep Jamie waiting. He's been asking every few minutes when ye will be ready. If we make him wait some more, God knows what the lad will do."

She laughed as Brian tucked her hand in his arm and escorted her out of the room and made their way to the chapel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your comments, kudos and feedback from the previous chapter. I am always delighted to read your observations, reflections and opinions. Please know, they are very much appreciated. 
> 
> We are now nearing the end of this story and as we speak, the storyline is already in progress. I will try my utmost best to give you a beautiful ending for this story and I hope I will not disappoint.
> 
> And most importantly, I hope you're well, safe, healthy and thriving. Sending you love and positive thoughts in these trying times. 😘❤️


	30. Vows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously in Before We Do ...
> 
> Childhood memories in Lallybroch flickered before her, of all of them laughing as they gathered in the kitchen. In the confines of the Fraser home, she was loved and cherished, and she belonged. "I love you, da," she said. They were the only words she could utter as emotions threatened to overwhelm.
> 
> "And I love ye, Claire," Brian replied. "I have loved ye every day of your life ever since I laid eyes upon ye. I will love ye for every day of mine and more."
> 
> She was about to say more, but Geillis peeked at the door and smiled.
> 
> "It's time."
> 
> Brian met her gaze and smiled. "Come now, sweetheart, let's get ye married. We don't want to keep Jamie waiting. He's been asking every few minutes when ye will be ready. If we make him wait some more, God knows what the lad will do."
> 
> She laughed as Brian tucked her hand in his arm and escorted her out of the room and made their way to the chapel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here we are. The final chapter. Wishing you all happy reading! 😘💖
> 
> *****************************  
> WARNING: SEXUAL CONTENT  
> *****************************

Brian escorted Claire down the stairs from the little room to the small hallway of the chapel. The day was mild and clear, and sunlight streamed through the stained-glass windows. It was a perfect day for a wedding. The arched doorframe in the foyer was threaded with forget-me-nots and lily-of-the-valley and the air smelled of fresh flowers after a spring rain. The strains of _Somewhere Over the Rainbow_ played on the piano and cello, and the soft murmurs of the wedding guests drifted to where they were stood. For a moment, Claire closed her eyes and sought a distant memory.

_"Did yer ma and da have a big fancy wedding like aunt Jocasta?" a thirteen-year-old Jamie asked Claire._

_They were sat under a tree sharing a plate of cake, away from the rest of the wedding guests. Ellen's sister had just married her second husband. It was a garden wedding party complete with an eight-piece band, a professional caterer and a wedding planner orchestrating the sumptuous and stylish event._

_Pushing her specs up on the bridge of her nose, Claire looked at Jamie thoughtfully. "Uncle Lamb told me they were married in the registry office. He said it was a quick and simple ceremony. My ma didn't even have a wedding dress."_

_Jamie forked the last piece of cake and offered it to her, and when she shook her head, he ate the remaining morsel. "Hmmm, our ma and da eloped, so they didn't have a fancy wedding either."_

_She sighed. "I know. One day, when I get married, I would like to wear a pretty white dress and look like a princess. And of course, there would be lots and lots of pretty flowers and three different flavoured cakes. And I want my husband to be my best friend, someone who is not too bothered about my braces."_

_"Braces or no', ye'd make a pretty bride. And I'm yer best friend, which means ye can marry me."_

_Claire gasped. "Jamie! Don't be daft! We're like brother and sister, so we can't marry!"_

_"We're not really brother and sister, Sassenach!" Jamie countered defensively, a frown forming on his forehead. "Trust me, we'll be allowed to marry. Everyone has to marry eventually, so I might as well marry a girl who's not too squirmish about beasties and who likes things I like ... like sports and chips and dips and fishing."_

_Claire wrinkled her nose. "But beasties and sports are not really romantic. Romance is important in marriage. I know because I've seen it in movies. But before you marry someone, you need to do all the boyfriend-girlfriend stuff. Like going to the movies and sharing popcorn and moonlight strolls."_

_"Ye mean dates? Aye, of course, but first I would need to save money. All these dating palavers are pricey. Willie told me so," he explained, matter-of-factly as he stood up and offered her his hand. Once upright, he brushed some stray grass from her skirt and tap her on the nose. "I only have 200 quid in my stash, but by the time ye're allowed to go on dates, I should have more. Then I can take ye for icecream and buy ye those frosted lip gloss ye like. Just like on a date."_

_She eyed him suspiciously. "You're not saying that to be nice, are you?"_

_"Of course not. What a silly question!"_

_She twirled a curl in one finger and pondered some more, watching Jamie with interest as he pulled out a tissue from his pocket and wiped a smudge of buttercream from the corner of her mouth. "Alright, then. But you do know, while on a date, ye need to be gentlemanly. That's what women are supposed to like while on a date."_

_"Aye, of course, I need to work on that," he mumbled, stuffing the used tissue in his pocket and straightening her glasses. After inspecting her thoroughly, he smiled with satisfaction. "There ye go. Come on, let's go. Ma and da will be wondering what we're up to." After grabbing the plate from the ground, he took her hand and pulled her along toward the wedding party._

_"And it's a boyfriend's job to take care of his girlfriend."_

_"Dinna fash, Sassenach, I will try my best to remember."_

Brian's gentle pressure on her hand broke her reverie, and Claire turned to look at him. The serene joy in his demeanour calmed the flurry of emotions in her soul and grounded her. "So this is it," he smiled, his eyes shining with unshed tears.

"Thank you for being there every step of the way, da," she whispered.

"Nothing to thank me for, sweetheart. Ye are a blessing. I thank God every day ye came to our lives. I have had many profound and meaningful experiences in my life, but this moment ...to walk ye down the aisle is a gift I will always treasure and hold close to my heart. I am proud and thankful for the girl I raised to the woman you have become," he said, patting her hand.

"And I am proud to call you, my da."

Before she could catch her breath, Jenny snapped them to attention. "Right, lassies, showtime," Jenny chirped. She turned and cocked her head at her. "Claire bear?"

She nodded with a smile and took a deep breath.

Her bridesmaids were stood in their places, and the ushers waited for Jenny's signal.

As the double doors opened, the background music coming from the piano and cello faded away to be replaced with the soft melody of the song _A Thousand Years_. Everyone hushed and turned towards the entrance, their cameras poised to capture the moment. One by one, her bridesmaids made their way to the altar, looking graceful and ethereal in their chiffon dresses.

When it was their turn to walk down the aisle, the music ceased, and the sound of a bagpipe echoed the traditional Highland Wedding March, heralding their presence. Everyone stood and held their breaths. The priest was at the front of the altar, clutching the bible in his hands. Flowers were scattered on the runner and adorned the pews. The benches were filled with friends and families, radiating love and awe, and murmuring praises at the sheer beauty of it all.

Claire's tears threatened to spill, and her heart squeezed as the outpouring of love came in waves. It was everything she had envisioned her wedding to be and much, much more. And for a moment, time stood still, and it felt like she was reliving every second she had ever shared with the Fraser family. And that was when she sensed the presence of her parents. She recognised it from the depths of her soul and in her heart, as they began walking down the aisle. The feeling was like being wrapped in a divine cloak, as comfort, happiness, warmth and peace enveloped her. She bowed her head in silent acknowledgement and prayer. _Thank you, mum and dad._

When she finally looked up, Jamie's eyes held hers, and everything else became a blur. From thereon, all thoughts were suspended, and all consciousness of her surrounding dissolved. Her sole focus centred on Jamie. Ignoring the ribbing from his older brother, his face broke into a radiant smile, and he placed a hand over his heart. The simple gesture took her breath away, and the tenderness and adoration on his handsome face bestowed her the realisation he was just as overwhelmed. 

Dressed like Brian and Willie in a traditional Clan Fraser tartan and formal jacket, he was a vision to behold. The added plaid placed over one shoulder, secured with a brooch only emphasised his massive breadth and staggering height. The sunlight that streamed through the windows created a halo with his unruly coppery locks, and his clean-shaven face made him look like an angel.

As if caught in slow motion, she watched him step forward, feasting at the beautiful figure he presented. She loved the way his eyes crinkled slightly when he smiled, the full sensual curve of his lips and the masculine gracefulness when he moved despite the evident limp. Knowing he truly belonged to her, fulfilled her in a way she had never experienced before and she would take each moment of their time together as a precious gift, never to be taken for granted.

Then he was stood before them, resplendent and striking in his Highland garb.

Brian spoke first. 

"My lad, I present to ye, yer bride." Ignoring the formality and custom of a simple handshake, Brian released Claire to hug his son. After a few heartwarming seconds, he pulled away and placed both his hands on Jamie's shoulders and looked at him with emotional intensity. "The day ye asked me for Claire's hand in marriage was the day I finally stopped worrying about who will look after her when I no longer can." Choked with emotion, he kissed Claire on the cheek before taking her hand and placing it over Jamie's. "It's worth bearing in mind that neither of ye will ever be perfect, but together, ye are perfect. Go with God, the both of ye." Then he stepped back to join his teary wife on the bench.

Claire smiled and mouthed _I love you_ to Ellen before refocusing her attention to Jamie. She gazed at him for a while, committing to memory the look on his face. Oblivious to the people around them, she reached out to touch him, but he took her hand and whispered in her ears. "Ye look beautiful, Sassenach but then again, ye are always beautiful in every way. And there doesn't exist a part of you which I don't love. And I want ye to know I'll never forget this day." 

"Neither will I, Jamie."

His lips tugged in the corner. "Come now, let's make an honest woman out of ye," he teased, tucking her hand into his arm and guiding her to the altar.

Although it's a known fact that Catholic wedding ceremonies tend to be lengthy, the nuptial mass flew by in a haze, and Claire felt like she was floating in a dream world. The only thing that kept her rooted to that moment was Jamie's hand firmly holding hers. When it was his turn to recite his vows, everything suddenly became clear and sharp. Every nuance, movement, expression and word was carefully stored in her memory vault to treasure forever.

She watched him take out a piece of paper from his sporran with trembling hands. It had been folded numerous times until it was just a mere bundle. Carefully, he unfolded his written vows and stared at it for the longest time. It seemed he was having difficulty reading it. Taking a peek at the paper he held, she knew it was written with great care and thoroughness for he loathed writing with his hand.

Feeling his struggle, she wanted to reassure him that it was alright if he couldn't recite his vows. She understood how weddings could get emotional, and with so many eyes watching, nerves could go awry. 

Suddenly, to her surprise, he stuffed the paper back into his sporran and looked up. "Ah bugger it, I'm just going to wing it," he announced. His ears turned pink when everyone laughed. Swiftly remembering where he was, he turned to the priest, looking contrite. "Apologies, father ...I guess I'm a wee bit nervous."

The priest nodded in understanding and gestured for him to carry on.

Taking a step forward, Jamie took her hand in his and gazed into her eyes, allowing her to see every emotion and every feeling he had no words for. "Sassenach, I'm just going to speak from the heart. Painful as it is to admit, I cannae read my own handwriting." He paused for a bit when everyone laughed once more. Clearing his throat, he continued. "I wish I could promise ye the world because I ken ye deserve it. Unfortunately, the world isn't mine to give. But I do promise ye my world and everything in it. It may not be much, but all that I am and all that I have is yers. I wish I could promise smooth sailing, but as ma said, marriage is a lot of hard work, and there will be sacrifices and trials along the way. But what I do promise is to stand by ye and uplift ye, so that we can accomplish more than we could alone and weather the storm together. I wish I could give ye riches and deck ye in jewels, but there's no certainty I will be a rich man one day. What I do promise is a life of abundance, an abundance of my love and support. I can't even promise I'll never hurt ye because even the best of intentions sometimes fall short. What I do promise is to always reach for ye over my pride. Above all, I promise to love ye fiercely in all of your forms, now and forever. And to always know in the deepest part of my soul that no matter what challenges might tear us apart, we will always find our way back to each other."

After Jamie's impassioned speech, there was not a dry eye in the house, and she couldn't care less about ruining her make up. His words and his vows lit up the inner recesses of the soul, touching her heart, knowing full well, the man who stood before her meant every word he uttered. There was a sense of homecoming and completion, but at the same time, a new beginning as he slid the ring over her finger. For a moment, she thought she imagined a stirring in her belly. It was as if their unborn child was celebrating in the blessing of their union. And soon, not long after, they were declared husband and wife to the cheers of their family and friends.

..........

The reception was held in a small spa resort overlooking a lake and spread out over acres of property in rustic beauty. Winding paths encircled the area, and the fields were clothed in colourful wildflowers. The weather held out and the dying sun drenched the fields in golden light and flickering warmth.

The entire wedding was a dream come true, and in such a short time, everyone was able to pull all the stops to make their wedding day possible. Every small detail was a contribution from family and friends, making it all the more special and personal. Not once did she have to worry about any aspect of their wedding, with everyone taking over and impressing upon her that stress could be harmful to her baby. 

Midnight drew close, and the DJ announced the last dance. Everyone crammed onto the floor for one final celebration. Exhausted but happy, Claire headed towards the cake display instead.

A warm hand encircled her wrist. She turned and found Jamie staring down at her, his eyes the hues of ocean and sky, gleaming with intensity and mild intoxication. "Dance with me, Sassenach," he said in a low voice. "I ken ye're tired, but after our first dance earlier, I hardly had a chance to be alone with ye."

She smiled and let him lead her out to the dancefloor. Sighing with contentment, she went into his arms and nestled her head against his shoulders. They swayed to the slow strains as they pressed closer together. His breath warmed her cheeks as she inhaled his scent of aftershave, citrus and expensive whisky. A hand caressed her back, sending a tingly pleasure to spread all over her body.

"Thank ye, Sassenach," he whispered against her ears.

Startled, she looked up, and her eyes widened. "For what?"

He smiled. "For making me the happiest man alive. For our baby. For being patient with me. For being ye."

She softened against him, and a sigh escaped from her lips. "Smooth talker," she said teasingly. "Kidding aside, I am one very, very happy bride, thanks to you." Her finger traced a circle on his chest. "And, that speech today was quite impressive. Who would've thought, after all these years I've known you, you are still capable of surprising me? What other secret talents do you have hiding up your sleeves?"

His laugh rumbled from his chest. "Ach, Sassenach, at least I know I can still surprise ye. But I won't reveal all my secrets just yet. I need to keep ye on your toes."

She wrinkled her nose. "Oh, is that so? Well, I have a few of my own I will not be revealing too soon either. Maybe make you work for the gold, right?"

"Dinna mind working hard for the gold but we have a lifetime of discovery ahead of us." He then lowered his voice. "And it starts tonight."

Her heart jumped, and suddenly she was caught up in the promise of his arms holding her close. Before she could dwell further, the slow rhythm of the song built, morphing into a blaring dance that belted out the lyrics that everyone knew by heart.

With a wink, Jamie spun her out of his arms and fell into the steps of a fast dance. He twirled her around the floor with grace, strength and humour, and the rest of the party threw themselves into the music and enjoyed the final pounding beat. Their family and friends surrounded them, stomping their feet and pumping their hands in the air and Claire revelled with laughter at the enthusiastic celebration of love.

It was a good hour before everyone finally left the reception, save for the family. Sliding off her shoes, she sat wearily on a chair. She was joined by Jenny, Geillis, Ian and Willie, each holding a drink. Jamie, Brian and Ellen headed outside saying a few goodbyes to leftover guests, who spoke of moving the party over to the bar.

"Oh, my God! I can't believe ye're married!" Jenny squealed.

"Weel, they were as good as a married couple living together," Geillis chuckled. "Jamie practically lived in the house." 

Laughing, Claire took their hands and squeezed them affectionately. "I can't believe I'm married either. Everything was perfect. Everyone made it perfect," she sighed. "I can't tell you how many people have been coming up to me asking who my wedding planner was. They all said they've never seen a wedding so beautiful. They couldn't believe it when I said everyone in the family was the wedding planner."

Willie slapped Ian on the back. "Ye're up next buddy," he grinned cheekily. "Cannae wait for the next stag party."

Jenny let out a breath. "Ye mean, ye cannae wait to have a stripper party."

"Ha! The stripper was Rupert's idea, and our party wasn't as wild as the hens'. Mind, we were all there and saw all of ye shouting at Jamie to strip." Ian said in defence.

All of them laughed. "Oh, it was a wild night, alright," Claire said. "I was the only one who recognised Jamie in his stripper costume. All my hens were too wasted. They all had their beer goggles on."

Geillis groaned. "That was bloody embarrassing ordering Jamie to strip, but let's not talk about that night. Let's talk about today. The wedding was perfection and mind ye, I've been to a lot of fancy weddings but today was so dreamy and romantic."

Claire's eyes welled up. Ever since she became pregnant, she was such a harvest of emotions. "There was so much love from everyone. And everyone's contribution just made it all so special. I have no words," she sniffed.

Jamie's voice rang out. "Uh-oh, here we go. I hope those are happy tears." Jamie pulled Claire from her chair, sat down and settled her on his lap before giving her a noisy kiss on the cheek. "Tired?"

Claire nodded, smiling as she laid her head at the crook of his neck.

Brian and Ellen joined them, holding hands together. "Right, kids we're off. We're getting too old for this. Some of the guests are at the bar, and Murtagh is just about to demonstrate the Highland fling," Brian announced, rocking on his heels. It was quite obvious he had quite a bit to drink. And then he turned to Ellen. "I hope ye remember our room number."

Ellen held up the keys in her hand. "Of course, darling." And then she looked at all of them. "See ye all at the brunch tomorrow. I'll probably check up on the hotel first so I might be a tad late."

Geillis looked at Brian and Ellen thoughtfully. "How do ye do it?" she burst out.

Brian cocked his head. "Do what?"

"Everything!" Geillis replied. "How do ye stay in love while running a hotel and raising kids and stress and life and family? What's the secret?"

Silence fell over the group. Claire sat up on Jamie's lap, Ian rested his chin on Jenny's head, and Willie wrapped his arms around Geillis, all waiting earnestly for the older Frasers' answer.

Ellen looked up at her husband. "Should we tell them the big secret to lifetime bliss?"

Brian grinned. "Aye, why not."

The group held their breath.

Ellen snorted out a laugh. "Sorry to disappoint but there's nae secret. It's a lot of hard work and patience."

"And fights. Lots and lots of arguments. And wrong choices," Brian chuckled as he pulled his wife against him.

"And lots of tears," Ellen added.

"But in the end, it's all worth it," Brian pointed out.

Ellen took her husband's hand in hers. "Dinna fash, ye'll figure it out. Because we did. Come on, darling, let's go."

Then the couple left, leaving them to stare at their retreating figures.

Claire sighed. "Surely, they know the big secret. Why don't they just tell us the real truth?"

There was a lapse of silence before everyone burst into hysterical laughter.

Jenny wiped the tears from her face. "Ma and da are right. There is no big secret. Marriage is a lifetime of many steep learning curves. The best thing ye can do is, hang on tight and enjoy the ride."

"Dinna fash, Sassenach. We already know. And I'm going to make sure we never forget," Jamie said, kissing his new wife. "As long as we have each other, we'll be fine. Come on, let's get ye to bed."

Claire slid her arms around his neck. For a moment, they were lost in each other, alone. Just bride and groom with a brand new life stretching ahead of them. They didn't even notice as the rest of the group left.

And then they kissed for a long time, oblivious to the staffs bustling around them.

..........

Jamie scooped up his new wife into his arms and walked into their bridal suite. He laughed as she squirmed in his arms. "Jamie! I've gained weight. I don't want to be the reason for your back giving way."

He gently put her down in front of the four-poster bed. "Ye're light as a feather, Sassenach. I can carry three times yer size without breaking a sweat." He unbuttoned his shirt and unfastened his sporran, placing them neatly on the armchair.

"Show off!" Momentarily forgetting about his back, her eyes were drawn to the new surrounding. "Oh, what a beautiful room!" she gushed. She bounced twice on the bed to test the firmness of the mattress and giggled. "This room must have cost a fortune." Then she stood up and walked over to the table ladened with a bucket of chilled champagne, a bowl of chocolate-coated strawberries and a vase of wildflowers. "It's a shame I can't drink at my own party."

"It's non-alcoholic fizzy wine, Sassenach." He stood behind her and unclasped her pearl necklace and unpinned her hair, placing the accessories on the table. Then carefully, he unzipped her dress, letting it pool at her feet. "Do you want a glass?"

"Mmm, yes, please." Taking a piece of strawberry with her, she walked away from him in her undergarments to examine the bathroom. "The bathtub is huge enough for ten people," she informed him excitedly.

"Good, then we can take a bath together." Jamie watched her in amusement as she went to explore the living area, complete with television, minibar and an ornate study desk. Quickly, he took the rest of his clothes off and poured the non-alcoholic beverage into the flute glasses. When she came back, her eyes widened, and her skin flushed in awareness as her gaze roamed over his naked body. "Come here," he commanded softly, grinning wickedly at her.

A smile touched her lips as her eyes settled on his erection. "And here I thought you were going to recite poetry on our wedding night."

He laughed low as he watched her openly stare at him. He was delighted at her new confidence even though he knew he could still make her blush. "I think I've created a tease. Ye're torturing me, Sassenach. Now come here and do as ye're told."

Claire's smile was slow and full of promise. Instead of obliging him, she reached back and unclasped her bra and dropped the material on the floor. His breath hitched when she hooked her fingers under the elastic of her panties, dragging the skimpy lace over her hips and thighs and kicking them away from her feet. "If you want me, you have to get me yourself, Mr Fraser," she teased, slowly backing away.

"If that's how ye want to play..." With one swift lunge, he caught her, carried her to bed and dropped her onto the quilt, making her squeal. Laughing, he placed one knee over the mattress and leaned over. His face suddenly turned serious, and he gently stroked her lips with his thumb, teasing the sensitive skin. He dragged in a breath as he gazed at her. "Christ, I'll never tire looking at ye. I can stare at yer face for hours."

She reached out and pulled his head towards her, kissing him with wild abandon. He smiled against her lips, thinking of the first time he taught her how to french kiss. "And I'll never tire of kissing you," she whispered.

He grasped both her wrists and held them above her head with one hand, kissing her deeply as her lips opened to the thrusting motion of his tongue. He cupped the weight of her breasts with the other hand, his thumb tracing a nipple. She arched upward as his mouth moved down her neck, and his knee slid between her legs and opened her for his more intimate touch. "I want ye now, Sassenach. I don't think I can hold on much longer," he muttered under his breath.

She pulled her hands away from his hold and clung to him, wrapping her legs around his hips. "Then take me now and don't be gentle about it."

He pulled away slightly, concern marring his face. "Will the baby be alright if I'm a bit rough?"

She laughed and urged him closer. "I don't think the baby will mind. Now shush and make love to me."

He moved over her and joined his body with hers. Gently at first, he rocked back and forth until her body adjusted to his cock. When she started to moan and flung her head sideways, he pulled back out and slammed inside of her so fast, she convulsed in pleasure against him.

She rode out the climax, whimpering deep in her throat, and hung on as he pounded inside her body until he cried out her name when he reached his peak, never stopping until there was nothing left of either of them.

Spent and exhausted, somehow he managed to roll over. He gathered Claire into his arms and spooned against her, his lips pressed at the nape of her neck. It didn't take long before she relaxed completely in his embrace and fell asleep.

Moonlight beamed through the open window creating shadowy patterns against her pale skin. Carefully, Jamie loosened his hold on her and got out of bed.

For a while, he watched her sleep with a deep peacefulness that made a smile touch his lips. She was curled in a fetal position, one hand tucked under her cheek and her long dark curls fanned out over the pillow. He heard her snore delicately, making him chuckle.

Turning away, Jamie walked to the window and observed the dots of light sprinkling the night skyline. Taking a deep breath, he said a silent prayer, for her and for their unborn child and thanked God for the blessing bestowed upon them on their wedding day. 

Their lives were on the brink of change, and he had never been more satisfied with his life. Being with Claire soothed his soul, and with her, he knew he would find the strength to face whatever life throws at them. She was his anchor, his home and his soulmate.

She stirred and murmured in her sleep. Turning away from the window, Jamie walked back to bed and slipped under the covers pulling her close against him. She responded immediately and snuggled closer.

"I love ye so much, Sassenach," he whispered in the dark.

"I love you too, hubby."

He smiled and closed his eyes and allowed sleep to gently embrace him until he was lured into a world of dreams of happily ever after.

**THE END**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly, THANK YOU, READERS, for all the kudos and feedbacks. I love reading all your comments.
> 
> Well, (phew!), final chapter. I hope you've all enjoyed Forget Me Not and I hope too that the ending didn't disappoint. My plans for the moment is to take a rest before resuming writing again and hopefully soon. 
> 
> Ever since the Covid-19 began, a lot of stuff has been going on in my home, preventing me from writing consistently and regularly. 
> 
> Importantly, I hope you're all well and safe and healthy. And a big shout out and a special mention to the frontline workers who are out there risking their own health. Big kudos to you! And huge love!
> 
> Anyway, bye for now and looking forward to your comment, input and feedback. Meanwhile, God Bless and loads of virtual hugs to all of you. 😘💖😘💖


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